by Rain, Renee
As she got up to do her morning routine, he asked if she would like to stop for breakfast before heading to Grantley Adams International where they would fly out. She told him that she would like to get something to eat. The fact was, she was starving. The dinner she had eaten the previous night was small and her stomach was growling at the thought of food. The two got ready for the day, packed their belongings and headed to the restaurant in the hotel lobby.
As the waiter brought their food out, Keith’s eyes became big. “Dang girl, are you eating all of that?” He stated with a serious look on his face. Tearny replied, “Yes, it’s just a couple pancakes, two eggs and some sausage.” Her plate was not as full as he had made it out to be. He then commented on the possible calories in each pancake when eaten with butter and syrup. Tearny was hurt. She was truly hungry and wanted to eat every bit of food on her plate. She remained silent. After eating half of her food, she folded her napkin and placed it on the table. She felt tears building up as she excused herself to go to the restroom.
She dried her eyes at the sink with some paper towel. As she stood looking at herself in the mirror, a voice softly spoke in the background. “Keep in mind what I told you gal.” She turned around and saw that it was the lady from the spa. She didn’t repeat herself. She knew that Tearny heard every word. She looked at Tearny making eye contact for just a moment and then walked out the door. Tearny returned to her seat.
As the waiter came to see if they needed anything else, she informed him that she was finished. “I thought you were hungry.” Keith said as he continued putting food into his mouth. “No baby, I’ve had enough.” She looked out the window wondering if he had already forgotten that he all but called her a pig when she received her order. In reality, she was still hungry, but had enough of his comments about her weight and what she ate. She just wanted to return home so that she could go back to work. Work would be her escape from him.
The flight back home was quiet. She had nothing to say and only spoke in response to something he had said to her. He knew that he had hurt her feelings and didn’t say a thing about it. She wasn’t expecting an apology, but she would have liked if he acknowledged that her feelings were hurt.
When they arrived to the apartment, Keith carried the luggage in and sat it just inside the door. Tearny attempted to take them to their bedroom, but he insisted on leaving them there. “Leave that stuff there for now.” He fanned his hands as if shooing a fly. She turned and walked away as she sighed.
He kicked one of the bags into an end table causing it to break. The crashing sound startled Tearny and she was frozen in mid-step. She slowly turned around as he began yelling. “Why do you insist on acting like this?” He went on ranting. “I’m trying to tell you to relax and you act like you don’t appreciate a man who doesn’t want to see you on your feet all day.” She asked him what he meant and told him that she only sighed because she was yawning.
“Baby you told me to leave the bags, and I am leaving them.” Her voice was quivering. Keith could tell that she was on the brink of crying. He threw his hands in the air. “Girl I am not fooling with you and your crying ass tonight”. He grabbed his keys and went out the door.
Keith was gone for a couple hours before Tearny decided to put clean clothes away and separate the dirty clothes to wash. She sat on the couch with the television off and the lights dim. She began thinking about herself and her life. How many times and by how many people she has been mistreated. She began crying as she thought how relieved she would be if Keith would move out or even better, if a state trooper would knock on her door to tell her that her husband would not be coming home because of an accident. As she thought about how happy she could be living alone, she realized she was not in love with her husband the way she thought she was just a week prior. Could feelings that took years to develop be dissolved in one week? This was a question that went through her mind as she laid her head on a pillow and closed her tear filled eyes.
Keys in the door woke her up. It was Keith. As he walked in, she sat up and looked at the clock- it was 6:52 am. “Keith, where have you been?” She asked in a manner as if she already knew and just wanted him to answer. He walked by her and without looking at her only replied “out” as he approached the bathroom. She was angry. He didn’t appear to be tired, so did he sleep somewhere else. She made up her mind that she was going to confront him.
She walked over to the bathroom but didn’t go in when she heard him turn on the shower on. She walked back to the living room and looked out the window. She was sure that he was out with another woman a week after their wedding. She heard the water stop. As he walked out of the bathroom, she stepped in front of him blocking his path. “Where were you at all damned night?” She used the firmest tone she could muster up. He laughed and softly pushed her aside while telling her to move. She followed him to the bedroom demanding an answer.
He laughed, “So you want to know where I was at all night long?” She stood staring him in the eyes. “Yes, I want to know where you have been all night. Better yet, I want to know who you have been with all night.” He looked at her and smiled. “So you want to know everything. Well I guess I better tell you before you spank me”. He started laughing as he stood in front of her drying himself off. “I was with a really nice lady who is willing to do everything you won’t”.
She didn’t change her expression. She stood silent thinking what he could possibly need from another woman. She did everything he asked her to do sexually. She keeps her weight down and was made up every day so that she didn’t look a mess. Her mind was racing, but he couldn’t read her. “Well, that is what you wanted to know- isn’t it?” he asked without a laugh.
She took a deep breath. “I asked WHO you were with? Who is she?” Her voice didn’t quiver. Keith’s smile disappeared. He had never heard her demand anything before and he didn’t like it. He walked up to her and looked as if he were trying to figure out who this lady was standing in front of him. He grabbed her by her neck and pushed her against the wall. Her boldness was broken and the tears began to flow down her face. Now all she could think about was where and how hard he would hit her.
“That’s what I thought,” he said in a low tone. “If you kick me I will fuck you up.” She didn’t know what he was talking about until she saw that his towel had fallen and he was completely exposed. “Now you listen.” He continued speaking with a low tone to his voice. “You are my wife, and you will always come first. What I do in those streets is for me to worry about”.
“Beat me, rape me and now cheat on me like its acceptable?” She began whispering to herself. “I have to get out of this, this isn’t right”. He lifted her chin up so that she was looking at him. “There always have been and there always will be other women. You thought you were it?” He kissed her lips but there was no reciprocation. “You are the one I prize. You are the one I love. But you have never been the only one”.
She felt her stomach sink. She wanted to run but he still had his hand on her neck. She began to speak, “But we got married.” He cut her off by placing a finger over her lips. “I know. We got married. And we will be married until death do us part”. For the first time, she truly felt that he was capable of ending her life. He took his hand off of her neck and wrapped both of his arms around her holding her tight enough for her to feel his heartbeat. He kissed the side of her head and she felt that he had tears flowing down his face. She looked up at him. He stared at the wall and began speaking. “I don’t deserve you Tearny, but I love you and I will kill you before I let you walk out of my life”.
Tearny knew that love was not supposed to feel this way. She closed her eyes thinking of how she would get out of this marriage without him killing her. Then she thought about how staying could put her in the same grave.
Weeks went by with little talking. The two worked daily. Tearny prepared dinner every evening. If Keith came straight home he would eat with her. Many nights would end with her placing the food in the
refrigerator and him reheating it late that night. The conversations were civil and the sex was primarily to relieve tension from stressful workdays.
One weekend, Keith suggested that they take off and go to the casinos not far across the state line. Once there, the two played the slot machines for three and a half hours laughing and comparing each other’s wins and losses. All of a sudden bells started ringing and lights began to flash above the machine Tearny was sitting at. She had won two thousand dollars. Excited and shocked, she decided to cash out and hold on to the winnings and splurge on dinner for the two.
At a steak house located at the top of the casino, they each enjoyed the most tender steak dinner they had in a long time. For the first time in weeks, the couple were having a meal together and enjoying each other’s conversation. Keith ordered a cognac and cola. Tearny’s eyes showed her nervousness. He hadn’t been drinking and the last time he had something to drink that wasn’t off of their home bar, he beat her. Seeing the look in her eyes, he reached over the table and stroked her hand. “Baby please don’t sweat it- I’m cool”. He knew she objected to his drinking, but she would not speak on it. She ordered a glass of fume blanc to calm her nerves. They continued talking and enjoying each other’s company and headed to their room after finishing one drink each.
The room was beautiful. They had a view of the river making it all the more romantic. She loved looking at water and the way the moon reflected on it was captivating. As she stood gazing out the window, Keith came behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. The smell of liquor on his breath wasn’t what she wanted, but the feeling of his mouth kissing the back of her neck was what she needed. She always loved the way he would run his fingers through her hair. Just as he got to the middle of her head, he would gently pull her head back with her hair wrapped in his hands and kiss her down the front of her neck.
He used one hand to unbutton her pants and pulled them down as she stood with her back to the window. He could feel the warmth from between her legs as he tugged to pull her panties down. She hesitated on letting him take them off because they were in front of a window. But as he continued kissing and breathing on her neck she lost her inhibitions and began lifting up her shirt herself.
He slid his hand down the back of her panties and spread her cheeks open. He could feel the juices from her pussy and dipped his finger in just enough to coat it. She jumped as she began feeling his finger making its way to what she called an exit only. The thought that this may be one of those things that the other women do for him went through her mind; she decided not to resist. “Just relax baby, let it slid in and out.” He continued kissing her and pulling his finger in and out of her butt. It was uncomfortable to begin with, but soon he had his whole middle finger in her and she was becoming aroused from it.
Grabbing her by the waist with his opposite arm, he lifted her up and carried her to the bed while keeping that finger in her. He took it out just long enough to climb on top of her and insert his penis into her vagina. She felt his hand wondering back to her buttocks. He grabbed one cheek spreading them apart while he continued to deliver long, slow strokes to her soft, wet vagina. She felt his finger re-enter her rectum. She couldn’t figure out if the vaginal penetration or anal fingering felt better. Perhaps it was a combination of the two that caused her to experience the first squirting orgasm while being penetrated with his penis.
All of a sudden she moaned loudly. Taking a deep breath, she turned her face to the pillow and continued moaning, small tears fell from the corner of her eyes, but she asked him to not stop. Keith pulled his finger out, grabbed the top of the mattress with both hands and began delivering strong, hard, yet slow thrusts with his penis. “Oh shit, is it getting harder?” She spoke with her teeth clenched together. He didn’t answer. He was moving up and down keeping a steady rhythm when suddenly he pulled out and began moaning. Tearny looked to see him on his knees just over her stroking his dick hard and fast. His skin was tight and shining. She even noticed a vein that she hadn’t seen before. Before long, he was squirting his semen all over her thighs and stomach. “Oh yes!” he exclaimed as he lay down beside her. Hands still sticky, he pulled her close to him. “That was so good baby.” He pulled his pillow further under his head. Tearny was exhausted and all she could think about was how sore her ass was now that the arousal part had faded. She prayed that he would never try to put his penis in her ass, his huge fingers were just enough.
The two slept soundly throughout the night. When she woke up, Tearny stayed in bed for fifteen minutes just laying and thinking about how sexy her husband made her feel. She wondered if anyone heard them from the other rooms. Then she thought of the possibility of being seen in the window from across the river. In her own way, she hoped that someone did see or hear. She stopped daydreaming and got out of bed. She knew that they had to get ready to head home.
While Keith loaded the bags into the car, Tearny went to the check out and get a receipt. At the counter, she noticed a beautiful vase with cuttings of a pretty flower. After seeing the interest Tearny took in the flowers, the attendant told her that they were cut off of an oleander shrub that grows in her backyard. Tearny remember that this was the name the lady in the Barbados had mentioned. “Oh, I thought they were only a white flower”, she said to her in a questioning tone.
“Nope, I have pink, yellow, and one that’s almost red growing right now,” the attendant replied as she handed her the receipt. Tearny asked her where they sell them at because they are such a beautiful plant. She told her of a few nurseries that carry them, but she warned Tearny of the dangers of ingesting the plant in case she had small pets or children at home. “Oh no, I don’t have pets or kids, but thank you.” She walked to the car and the couple headed home.
He asked her about the conversation she had with the attendant and she shared with him how pretty she thought the plants were in the lobby. During the drive home, they conversed and reminisced on the previous day and night. He asked her how she felt about having some guys from his job and their wives come over for dinner one day. She thought the idea was great and immediately began talking about what she would cook. “Lasagna, garlic bread, and salad would be good. I can bake a rum cake for desert”. She looked to him for approval and he could tell that she was excited about planning for company as he nodded his head in agreement. “So what day are you thinking about?” He told her that he was thinking of asking them to come over the next Saturday since it was a payday weekend and no one would have to work the next day.
That Saturday morning, Tearny went to the market to buy the items she would need for their dinner. She also stopped by the local nursery to pick up two plants since their apartment was really plain. Pathos and a small, potted yellow oleander bush were the two she decided on. The employee at the nursery reminded her that the bush could survive in the pot for a little while, but would need to be planted outdoors for the best results. He also instructed her to keep the oleander away from small children or animals that might try to eat it.
They had never had guest in their home, with the exception of Stephanie who would stop by every blue moon, but she never stayed to eat. Since she wasn’t sure if red wine or white went best with the meal, she bought both. Only two couples were coming, but she prepared enough food to feed ten people. Since she had no idea as to who these people were that Keith worked with, she decided to give their apartment a thorough cleaning while the lasagna baked. Keith found humor in the way she was acting. “You weren’t this anxious when we got married,” he laughed.
Seeing that she only bought wine, Keith decided to go to the liquor store to get something for the guys to drink after dinner. It was getting late and their guests were expected to arrive in less than an hour. He assured her that he would be back before they got there and rushed out the door. “My man and that hard liquor.” She mumbled to herself as she headed to the kitchen to check on the food.
Keith had just returned home when the doorbell rang. Nervous, Tearny
rushed to the bathroom to do a final check on her appearance. She wanted to make a good first impression with both her cooking skills and her appearance. She wasn’t sure if the other women were pretty, average, big or small; but she wanted to look her best without over doing it. She wore her hair pulled back in a pony tail that she put five large curls in. She wore her causal Friday dress that was sleeveless, stopped just at her knees and buttoned down the front with a wide front buckled belt. Although she wanted to, she decided that wearing stockings may be over doing it since she wasn’t planning to leave the apartment.
She emerged from the bathroom to greet their guests who were still standing in the living room. “Oh there’s my beautiful wife,” Keith said in an exaggerated manner. “This is Tearny.” He smiled as he kissed her on her cheek. “Tearny this is Jimmy, his fiancée Heather, Chad and his wife Rea.” She smiled while greeting them all and asked them to make themselves comfortable while she went to make sure everything was ready for dinner.
She returned to the living room and asked if anyone would like something to drink. “Maybe some water or juice”, Jimmy replied, “nothing serious right now”. The base in his voice took her by surprise and she caught herself staring to see if he resembled Berry White. Heather and Rea offered to help her bring some drinks in and the six sat and conversed for a half hour before moving to the dining room table.
Tearny and Heather brought the food out to the table. There was just enough seating for the six of them. Heather looked to see if Rhea was near, but she wasn’t. “Hmm, must have gone to the car to smoke,” Heather mumbled. “All the way to the car?” Tearny shook her head. “She could have stood in the hallway to do that.” Heather laughed and rolled her eyes as she replied. “Not what she’s smoking. You don’t want that smell in your hallway.” “Oh…I see.” This was Tearny’s only response as they finished setting up the table. She didn’t know how close the two were, but with Heathers tone of voice, it was clear that she didn’t approve of Rhea.