“Fuck,” Mike bites out quietly and lifts his head.
Scarlett stares at him, hope filling her eyes. Goddammit! Why does she have to be so beautiful?
“Alright, fine, but we're gonna go slow. We already did more than I thought we would today. Let’s just keep it at that,” Mike agrees begrudgingly.
Scarlett smiles brightly, her whole face lighting up. She jumps off the bed and throws herself into his arms. Mike grunts as he catches her. She wraps her arms and legs around him and kisses him, while her fingers slide into the back of his hair. Against his better judgment, Mike melts into the kiss. He just can’t resist her. Shit, he is so screwed.
Chapter 15
**Damien**
Damien smiles at the sales clerk as he hefts his new rifle off the counter and heads out the door. He was able to obtain a new identity and purchase a new weapon. He’s now going by the name Ben Riggs. He has a new social security number, ID, and look. He dyed his hair platinum blond and grew out a goatee. He also started wearing fake glasses. They really make the biggest difference with his new look. He has also been laying low for almost two months, which is making him a little twitchy.
Damien is definitely ready to take Melina out. After fucking her senseless of course. He is dying to get his hands on her. Preferably around her neck. And he’s so going to enjoy having her watch while he kills her cop boyfriend and his friends. Did she really think he'd just forget about all of the bonuses she supplied him with? Oh yes, this is definitely going to be fun. He can't wait to see the pain on Melina's face when she’s forced to watch everyone around her suffer and die.
“So bro, when’re you gonna tell Melina that you love her?” Xander smirks at him from across the small round table they’re sitting at.
Vance stares at his brother with what he hopes is a bland face, giving nothing away. “As soon as you find your balls and tell Ryder that you like him,” Vance says, narrowing his eyes at Xander.
Xander's jaw drops. “How...I...What...Did Melina tell you?” he stutters.
Vance smiles wickedly. “Nope, you just did.”
Xander blanches “Dammit, Vance! You know that I can't do that. Ryder isn't out. Besides, I don't even know if he knows that he's gay.”
Vance nods. “He knows. I can tell that something’s bothering him, but he won't talk to me. He’s also stopped bringing women to the house.”
“How long ago did he stop?” Xander asks curiously.
Vance gazes at his brother for a moment before answering. Xander looks hopeful but cautious. “Since the big barbeque, but it was already few and far between for the past year or so,” Vance replies.
Xander frowns. “Does he think you guys wouldn’t notice?”
Vance shrugs and sips his soda. He’s on his lunch break with Xander. He usually spends it with his partner, but Mike promised to meet Scarlett for lunch today. While Vance and Xander are at a local restaurant, Mike is taking Scarlett to a cafe where they can eat outside, which Vance finds hilarious since Mike insists that they aren't dating. Apparently, he’s only teaching her everything about sex.
Xander sighs and rubs his face. “I can't stand not being able to go after someone I want,” he murmurs.
“Yeah, well maybe he needs a push. And what the hell, by the way? You told Melina you liked Ryder but not your own brother?” Vance snaps, glaring at Xander.
Xander winces. “Sorry, man. It just kinda came up while we were talking. Are you going to tell her that you love her?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“How do you know I'm even in love with her?” Vance asks mildly.
Xander snorts. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? I'm not blind, Van; I can see it every time you look at her.”
Vance sighs and squeezes the bridge of his nose. “I don't know. I have no idea when I'm going to tell her.”
“What are you afraid of?” Xander asks.
Vance shakes his head, staring down at his food. “That she doesn't love me back.” He shrugs.
Xander rolls his eyes. “Dude, come on, you know that she loves you,” he says before sipping his coffee.
“How can you be so sure?” Vance hedges. His heart clenches at the thought of Melina not feeling the same about him as he does about her. He knows that she really cares about him. Her reaction at the hospital after the shooting is proof of that, but what if it isn’t love? Vance knows for sure that Melina is the only woman he will ever want. He wants forever with her, but he just isn't sure if she will return the sentiment. And there is no way he could survive losing her again. The first time almost broke him. A second would be catastrophically devastating.
Xander frowns, his brows furrowing. “Vance, are you serious? Of course Melina loves you; she never would have tried to save you from Damien if she didn't. You've been together, what? Six months?”
Vance nods. This time, he thinks, but wouldn’t dare say it out loud.
“She loves you. I'm positive of that. She looks at you the same way you look at her; like the sun shines out of your ass,” Xander says firmly, not an ounce of doubt in his voice.
Vance exhales slowly; his heart is racing. He nods again, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Funny. Okay, but when do I tell her?”
A slow smile creeps across Xander's face. “Whenever it strikes your fancy,” he answers with mirth, trying to lighten the mood. “Next time you see her, go for it!”
Vance feels a small smile tug at his lips. “Yeah, I guess you're right.”
“Uh, yeah I am!” Xander laughs.
“Hey, Vance! Xander!” comes Ryder's voice from their left. Both Vance and Xander turn their heads toward him in unison.
Vance smiles and stands then glances at Xander to find him frozen in his seat. Vance gives a smiling Ryder a brief hug then grabs an empty chair, dragging it over for him to sit on. Ryder sits down between him and Xander. Ryder reaches over and gives Xander's shoulder a squeeze.
“Hey, Xan. How ya been?” Ryder asks, his chocolate brown eyes looking over Xander casually, but Vance can see the difference in the way Ryder is looking at Xander now, versus a few years ago. There’s definitely an attraction there. He can see the sexual interest in Ryder’s eyes.
Xander snaps out of his funk and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m good, how are you?”
Ryder nods. “I'm good.”
“What’re you doing here?” Vance asks as he sits back down.
“I was just out running errands.” Ryder shrugs, glancing at Xander again.
Just then, Mike walks through the door of the restaurant and heads right for their table. “Hey, fucker, time to go,” he growls at Vance, looking pissed.
Vance frowns. “What the hell is your problem?”
Mike's lip curls in disgust. “My problem? An almost twenty year old named Scarlett Higgins. She’s my fucking problem. Now let’s go.”
Vance smiles as he stands. “Sweet little Scarlett’s a problem? Somehow I find that hard to believe.”
“I think she's turning into a nympho and we haven't even had sex yet,” Mike grumbles.
Xander and Ryder smile up at Mike while Vance chuckles, shaking his head. Vance pulls out his wallet and drops a couple of twenties on the table. “Xan, I'll talk to you later, alright?”
Xander's head whips around to glare at him, the look totally telling him that they’re going to fight later for leaving him with Ryder. Vance just smiles, ruffles his brother's hair, and then gives Ryder a playful pat on the cheek.
“See you at home later, douchebag.” Vance smirks at Ryder, who's gone a little pale watching the brothers’ interaction. Vance winks at Ryder and nods his head toward Xander, hoping to give Ryder the impetus to open up to his brother.
Ryder swallows hard and nods slightly, understanding what Vance is silently telling him. Vance smiles, returns the nod, and then leaves with Mike.
**Ryder**
Vance knows. How the hell does Vance know? Ryder watches as the two officers leave the restaurant. Two of his b
est friends. The guys that he's trusted and loved his whole life. Of course the one with the gay brother would know! How could he not? Ryder sneaks a glance at Xander, who is watching him over his coffee mug.
“You alright, Ry? You look a little pale,” Xander asks softly after setting his mug down.
Ryder nods and clears his suddenly clogged throat.
“How's work?” Xander asks, thankfully changing the subject.
Ryder clears his throat again before speaking, “Ah, it's good, got a lot of clients. We may even need to hire a couple more mechanics to keep us from falling too far behind.”
Ryder owns a custom bike shop with Dayne. They opened it right out of high school when Tripp, Vance, and Mike joined the military, and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger. They already have two other mechanics working for them now. The shop always seems to be booked solid. All of the guys are really proud of them for following their dreams and succeeding.
Xander nods. “That's awesome. I'm glad your business is so successful,” he says sincerely.
Ryder smiles. “Thanks. How has your job been?”
Xander shrugs. “Same shit, different day. I mean I like my job, but it can be monotonous.”
Ryder nods in understanding. Xander is a web designer for the local Los Angeles newspaper. He maintains their website. Ryder can see how that could get monotonous. Ryder reaches over, grabs Vance's half-drunk soda, and takes a sip.
He really should talk to Xander about the issue that's been eating him up inside. He hasn't told a soul and he desperately needs to get it out before it totally consumes him. Xander is the only one who would understand how he’s feeling. Why he didn't think to talk to him sooner is beyond him. Xander is perfect, in more ways than he first thought.
Ryder glances over at the man sitting next to him. Xander looks so put together in his light purple dress shirt, gray and purple striped tie and gray slacks. His shirt fits him perfectly, showing off his broad shoulders and defined chest. Xander looks so much like Vance but is so different at the same time. He is a few inches shorter than Vance, making him the same height as Ryder. Xander has a more athletic build, like that of a soccer player, unlike Vance who is all bulky muscle. Xander's hair is also a couple of shades darker than Vance’s. Xander is just gorgeous. The complete package.
“You look like you've got something on your mind,” Xander murmurs quietly.
Ryder lifts his eyes to meet Xander's steady light blue gaze. “I do,” Ryder admits softly, averting his eyes.
“You can talk to me you know. We’re friends, Ryder, and have known each other forever,” Xander says, reaching out to place his hand on Ryder's forearm.
Ryder glances around quickly before settling his gaze back on a concerned looking Xander.
“What's going on, man?” Xander prods gently.
“I think...” Ryder starts, raking a frustrated hand through his hair. He can say it. He has to, for his own sanity. “I think I might be gay,” he whispers, watching Xander to gauge his reaction.
Xander smiles softly and gives his forearm a squeeze. “I think you are, too,” he says, surprising the hell out of Ryder.
Ryder stares at him in shock. “Come again?” he asks flatly.
Xander chuckles softly. “Listen, I've noticed a change in you. I haven’t seen many women in your life lately. And I can tell that you’re struggling with it because I went through it myself.”
Ryder sags in his seat. Man, he feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “Shit, Xander. I've been so fucking confused, and I still am if I’m being completely honest.”
Xander nods in understanding and rubs Ryder's arm. “I understand, Ry, really I do. I need to get back to work, but why don't you come to my place later and we can talk more,” Xander offers.
Ryder nods. “I'd like that. Thanks, Xander.”
They both stand. Xander adds to the forty bucks that Vance left then turns to Ryder. “Do you feel a little better now that you've told someone?” Xander asks with a soft smile.
“A little,” Ryder admits.
“I'll see you later?” Xander murmurs.
Ryder nods. “Yep.”
Xander stares at him for a moment before pulling Ryder into a hug. Ryder’s a little stunned at first but then relaxes against Xander and wraps his arms around him. Ryder sighs and tucks his face into Xander's neck. God, he hasn't realized how badly he’s needed some comfort. He's been so lonely for what seems like forever. Not that he’s ever really alone since he lives with the four other guys. But still, he hasn't appreciated it until that moment how badly he needed it.
“Everything is gonna be fine; you know that, right?” Xander asks softly, stroking the back of Ryder's head.
Ryder nods against his neck. “I know,” he whispers.
They hug for a moment longer before Xander gently extracts himself. “We can do more cuddling later, too; you really seem to need it,” Xander murmurs with a wry smile.
Ryder flushes slightly. “It's been a long time since I've been in someone else's arms.”
Xander nods. “I know. Call me when you're on your way over.”
Ryder nods and watches as Xander leaves. Damn, the man has the sexiest walk that he's ever seen. And the nicest ass, too. His dress pants really show it off. Ryder sighs heavily and scrubs his face with his hands. He feels so much better now that he's told Xander. He'll talk with him some more later, then maybe he’ll tell the guys. Vance already knows, but he doesn't think that any of the other guys have a clue.
Ryder arrives at Xander’s apartment at around 7:00 pm. He’s never been to Xander's before, and he’s been curious as to what it will look like. Xander is a very put together kind of guy, so he suspects that his apartment will be the same way. Ryder knocks on the door and nervously waits until Xander opens it a few seconds later. He changed his clothes and is now wearing a pair of dark jeans and a light yellow polo shirt. His feet are bare and his hair is damp, obviously just having taken a shower.
Xander smiles. “Hey, Ryder, come in,” he says and moves aside.
Ryder walks in and Xander shuts the door behind him. Ryder looks around; he was correct. The place is neat and clean and smells great. It’s nothing like the house he lives in with his friends. Yeah, they keep the place mostly clean, but it’s a bachelor pad, and there always seems to be something or somebody laying around. Mike is the main culprit, lazy motherfucker. Mike hates cleaning with a passion.
“Nice place, Xan,” Ryder says, impressed.
“Thanks,” Xander replies and starts for the kitchen, which is just on the other side of a large peninsula countertop. “You want a drink?”
“Sure, what do you have?” Ryder asks and follows him. He sits on one of the stools at the counter.
“Beer, wine, hard liquor, whatever you want,” Xander says and chuckles.
“A beer is fine,” Ryder replies and watches Xander as he opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. Damn, he is sexy. Just the way his body moves is so smooth and effortless. Someone his size shouldn’t be so graceful.
It’s kind of weird to be there, in his best friend's brother's apartment. Ryder has known Xander pretty much his whole life. He has watched him grow up really, with Xander being about seven years younger than they are. And now, here Ryder is, physically attracted to him and wanting to talk to him about being gay.
Xander opens a bottle of beer and hands it to him, then opens one for himself. They clink bottles, both murmur, “salud,” then sip their beers.
“So when are you gonna tell the guys?” Xander asks.
Ryder shrugs. “Maybe tonight, after I leave here. I think your brother already knows, though.” He smirks.
Xander laughs. “Yeah, he knows, but he's had practice detecting that kind of thing with me.”
Ryder smiles. “I figured.”
They stare at each other for a moment, searching each other's eyes.
“I've been waiting for you to come out, you know?” Xander asks softly, his eyes
holding some kind of emotion that Ryder can't exactly identify.
Ryder tilts his head curiously. “You have?”
Xander nods, his eyes never leaving Ryder's. “I've been attracted to you for a long fucking time,” he says with a breathy laugh and rakes a hand through his hair. “A long fucking time,” he mutters, shaking his head and breaking their eye contact.
Ryder's breath catches; he had no idea. “What if I wasn't gay?” he asks, eyes wide.
Xander shrugs. “But you are,” he retorts then sips his beer.
“So, what do you plan on doing about this attraction?” Ryder asks bravely, his heart racing.
Xander chuckles and slips off his stool. He turns Ryder to face him, pushes his knees apart, and steps between them. “I plan on doing a lot of things,” he rasps, sliding his hands up Ryder's thighs.
Ryder swallows hard and stares into the light blue eyes in front of him then pulls in a shaky breath. He’s already hard and all Xander did was run his hands up his thighs. Xander smiles, and it’s a seductive smile that has Ryder's cock twitching. Xander's hands come up to cup Ryder's face just before he leans in and kisses him.
Ryder moans softly and wraps his arms around Xander's waist. Yes, this is so right. This is exactly what he's been yearning for. There is just something about being with a man that turns Ryder's blood to fire. And damn, Xander can kiss. That just helps Ryder confirm what he has been feeling, that he is in fact gay.
“How old were you your first time?” Ryder pants after ending their first kiss with a couple of pecks.
“Sixteen.” Xander smiles.
“You've only been with men?” Ryder asks.
“I was with one girl, just to make sure that I really was gay. And let me tell you, I am 100%, without a doubt, gay. She did nothing for me; in fact, I could barely get hard. Thank God she was my friend, so it wasn't too embarrassing.”
Destiny Revealed (There's Always Tomorrow Book 2) Page 17