by Eli Constant
There is a line of ice white, shining silver by the rays of the light mounted above the medicine cabinet. It blinks at me. My first grey hairs.
But they weren’t there yesterday.
And my ears... the point at the top is no longer dull, but sharp and obvious. And my freckles are seeming to fade into nothingness as I watch.
A sharp pain in my right hand makes me draw it to my body for comfort. Looking down, I see the symbol Liam placed with his kiss. It is glowing brilliantly, brighter than the light above. Its light burns ever more intensely, until the fire of it radiates up my arm and into my shoulder. From there it grows toward my chest, towards my heart. It is burning a path through me. It is changing me.
I look in the mirror, as if I can see the magic’s effect as it moves inside my body. My skin is shimmering, like a thousand pale lights against an emerald Christmas tree, the way it does when I am calling the dead to me. The fire and power builds and builds until my knees buckle.
Strong arms wrap around me and I have no strength to fight away the embracer. I’m half naked. I won’t want him touching me. Because where he touches... it burns. God, it burns.
“It is alright, Victoria. This is your birthright. Accept the power. You are heir to the Blood Throne. You are my queen.”
My mind is a foggy place, full of apparitions and confusion from the pain and magic, but I know it’s Liam’s voice that soothes me. But I also know that he has done this to me. He has unleashed the beast inside of me. And I worry that it will overwhelm my humanity.
If a necromancer has any humanity at all.
I scream, and the sound is hollow and dead, like I have become my own living shadow.
Chapter Twenty-Six.
The scorching finally stops. And I’d been right; Darryl had not burst into action at the sound of my scream.
I slowly open my eyes, expecting to find the charred and ruined vision of my body. I’ve worked with a burn victim before. The family finally decided on a closed casket, when they saw how little I could do to mask the blackened, flaking skin. The boy had been only sixteen. He’d gotten drunk and driven his car off the road. It had caught fire, his cigarette left burning in the car’s ashtray.
That was my first spirit to rise and retain the appearance he’d had in death.
When his mouth had moved, see-through pieces of brittle flesh had fallen away to soundlessly hit the floor and disappear. And then reappear, once again attached to his cheeks and chin and ready to descend. It was a cycle, over and over again. I’d asked him if he felt the pain of it. He’d only responded with how numb he was. To everything.
Sometimes, I wish I could be numb forever.
“You’re fine, Victoria. You’re fine.” Liam is stroking my hair softly. I’m cradled against him. We are closely knit, like two pieces of a puzzle come together. His legs brush against mine, his back leans against the claw foot tub behind him; his left arm is still folded around my waist the way it had been when he’d caught me as I’d fallen.
Fallen because I’d been consumed by fire.
“Get away from me, Liam. Get away.” I try and lean forward, but I’m so dizzy. So dizzy that I feel like I could disappear within the vibrations. This is why he’d been trying to lift my hand to his face when we’d first met. This is what he wanted to do.
“I cannot, Victoria. I can never. Not now.” Liam’s voice is a raspy, throaty sound. It reaches for me and I want to shove it away like it is a repulsive tentacle.
“Get. Away.” I fight through the dizziness and jolt onto my knees. The motion is so quick that he loosens his grip in surprise. My head swims, my vision threatening to blacken. I crawl out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, my hands feel so hot as they touch the floor. So hot. I pull on the comforter that is haphazardly scrunched on my bed, but tucked in at the lower corners so it has some ability to support me. I rise onto my feet, shaking and woozy, but I can’t straighten my body. Not yet. I won’t pass out. I won’t give him the satisfaction. He’ll enjoy it.
“I would never, Victoria. I take no pleasure in seeing you hurt.”
“Then why did you do this to me?” I bend over, burying my face in the warmth of the blanket. After a moment of stillness, I feel better.
It doesn’t immediately dawn on me that he’s answered my unspoken thought, but I frown once it does.
“I didn’t realize your physical injuries would make the transition harder. I would have waited, but you need to be stronger. You need to be able to protect yourself,” he says, and he at least has the decency to sound anxious. “And you’re healing, faster than a human. I couldn’t wait any longer. I couldn’t.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Liam!” I yell the words, finally standing upright and thankfully feeling like I’m not going to pass out. Anger rages inside of me, firing like they live on their own synaptic pathways, running from head to toe. My hands feel even hotter, like lava is running over them. I look down and they are sparking with bright white light. I lift them, studying them in fascination and horror. And then I reach out and hit Liam square in the chest, bolts of this strange new power streaming into his body. He winces, his eyes going teary, but he stands his ground.
And I freaking hate that!
“I’ve marked you as heir to the Blood Throne, Victoria. You’ve been imbued with the power, unclaimed for generations. This was my mission. To keep you safe. To bring you back into the fold of the Light Court. This mark means that you preside over both courts. The Blood Queen. Even the Black and White nobility must bow to you.” He’s standing there, looking like an angel. And all I want to do is send his soul to hell. And I feel that I can. The ability is coursing through my veins like morphine. It makes me writhe with sensation, my eyes threatening to close and succumb.
I do not close my eyes though.
I look down at my body. Even through my clothes, I can still see how I am sparkling, painted by diamond dust and illuminated by the magic. Pulling off the peplum top and then the bandages, not once thinking of how I’d end up standing in nothing but a bra and pants in front of Liam, I let loose the light. It makes the room around us bright as full day, not a cloud in the sky. The bruising along my body is still there, but it’s starting to lighten, to join the expanse of my ivory skin. To heal. Heal faster than possible.
It scares me. “Stop it, Liam. Make it stop.”
“I can’t make it stop.” He seems in earnest. But he can’t be. He can’t be. He’s done this to me and he has to make it stop.
I feel fury raging in my eyes, a storm contained by a too-thin cornea. “Then tell me how to do it myself. I’m normal, dammit. I’ve spent my entire fucking life being normal.”
“You’re a necromancer, Victoria. You are not normal.” He’s pleading with me now, something across his face reads almost like fear.
“Screw you, Liam. Take whatever you’ve done back. I don’t fucking want it.” I flex my fingers; it feels like lightning is shooting from the tips.
“I really can’t, Victoria. Even if I could, I would not. Please understand.” The fear in his face is mingled with pain. A tiny part of me believes that he doesn’t want to hurt me. I shove that tiny part down inside myself until it disappears in a void of blackness.
“Then leave. Get the fuck away from me and never come back.”
“I can’t do that. I told you. I can never leave you now.” He walks a step closer and I hold my hand out. As I do, it flares to life like a taser. A pulse of magic shoots from my palm, given life by my intentions. It hits Liam square in the chest. He staggers backwards, but it only fazes him for a moment before he stalks back once more.
“What is happening to me?” My eyes close as a sensation not unlike an orgasm ripples upwards from my toes to settle in my groin. It roils there, vibrations of pain that is so close to pleasure that it sends me over the edge over and over again. I scream as it eats me, swallowing me down. Soon, I will be nothing more than a cluster of nerve endings. I am a slave to my body.
“You need to nourish yourself, Victoria. Using the power is draining.” Liam reaches for me, but something in my face makes him drop his hand.
I sit down on the bed, feeling so very weak— like I’ve just been the only girl in an hours-long orgy. “Please leave, Liam.” I shift my body slightly, realizing the soreness is gone from me. It has been replaced by something like numbness, aside from the very real, thudding pain in my hand where he has marked me. I look down, find that the bruises are even lighter now.
Liam says nothing, but he drops to his knees in front of me. His brown hair, looking more a chestnut than a cognac today, grows before my eyes. It lengthens and curls until it is waist-long and the color of fresh fallen snow. His eyes are still emerald, but they glow like they are truly jewels embedded in his face. His skin is the color of unset concrete, yet also translucent like opal. I reach out, unable to stop myself from touching the downy softness of his hair.
“What are you?”
“I told you. I am Light Fae. And you, Victoria Iracebeth Cage, are my Queen.”
A knock on the door stays my fingers and I retract my hand, a flush creeping into the pale of my skin. It is a flame, but not the fire that has changed me. We stare at each other for several moments in silence, letting his words compound in to both of us and our desire roll from us in waves. The knock comes again and a slow smile rises on his face.
“We are forever being interrupted.” Liam stands gracefully, his body looking even taller and more athletic than when we first met. “I know you do not understand everything that is happening. You are still what you are— a necromancer of immeasurable power. But you are something else also. History can be changed with a stroke of your hand. The future can be molded with a word from your mouth. You are the start and the finish of everything. Your blood is the life. You are more than the blood magic and death power.”
He leans forward and kisses me. Not on the hand this time. His lips, soft and firm, press against my own. They do not move. We exist in perfect stillness and, yet, it is more movement than I have ever experienced.
It is a dance without steps.
And, for a moment, I can feel what he means. I can feel the very Earth move at the will of the blood within my veins. I can feel the life moving through his wonderful body. I don’t want to be attracted to Liam. I don’t.
The knocking sounds once more. A bit more persistent this time.
And Liam is gone, just like that, but his mouth still whispers against mine like a promise. It is the second time he has kissed me, our lips coming together, but it feels... like the first. And I wonder if it would always be like that.
I wonder, until I realize I hate his fucking guts.
“Tori! I’m here! You could have warned me about the cop out front!” It’s Mei’s voice calling to me. I’d totally forgotten about her. I look at the clock by bed and see that only thirty minutes have passed since I’d called in my food order. Amazing how so much can change in so little time.
I grab a folded shirt from my dresser, pull it quickly over my head, and move to open the door and then freeze. I am still glowing, still flushed with the magic. I center myself, call the shimmering to a single point within me, to the darkest place where it can hide until I release it once more. This is also how I call my necromancy back to me, to be contained. As I pull and pull at the nuances of my changed self, I see the white hot bolts fly from my fingers again, sparking out and threatening to flame around me. I quell those too, fast and hard.
And I realize this is not just my necromancy gifts. No, this is another magic, more than one new magic perhaps, that both compliments and contends with my death powers. I am the Blood Queen, whatever the hell that means. God, it wasn’t like I’d already been enough of a freak.
The diamond dust fades, leaving me with the faintest glow that could pass as a trick of makeup. I finish the path to the door and I open it to reveal Mei, all dimples and jet black hair. She’s carrying three large brown paper bags that smell amazing.
Her smile widens. “Tori, I love your hair!”
It is then that I focus on the curling strands swaying across my black shirt. They are not mahogany brown, but silvery white. Almost like Liam’s. Jesus, what had he done to me?
Chapter Twenty-Seven.
“Oh, thanks.” I can’t manage additional words. I’m just as surprised as she is.
“It’s so ‘in’ right now! You’re natural hair is so pretty though, what made you go glam-ma?”
I shrug. “I needed something different. Ha. I certainly wasn’t going for a grandma look though.”
“Glam-ma is totally different. Think of it as grey gone sexy. Anyways, I totally love it, Tori. The contacts too. And don’t tell Baba, but,” she lifts a chunk of her obsidian hair to reveal a hot pink strand. “Isn’t it fab!” She giggles and it’s like a thousand Tinker Bells laughing. Who could not feel total joy at that?
Me. I could absolutely not take total joy in the vision of a thousand yellow-haired fairies. Black fairy. Light fairy. Jesus, what else existed in this world? And to think, normal people thought necromancers were the worst thing walking.
“Anyways, your hair’s totally fabulous!” Mei speaks again, and she continues talking, nonstop, as she walks into the apartment, brushing against me because I’m still standing in the way. “Foods getting cold!” She playfully calls as she dumps everything down on the kitchen counter next to the sink. “Oh, and seriously, why didn’t you tell me about the cop? He’s a real piece of work.”
“I did try to warn you, but apparently you didn’t hear me.” I close the door behind her mechanically, trying to scramble for an excuse, anything I can say that’s not rude but will send her packing. I’ve got a feeling if I don’t, that she’ll pull up a chair and make herself at home, but I’m drawing a damn blank. I’m tired. I’ve been fae marked, whatever the fuck that means. And I’m just plain hungry. “Thanks for bringing my food,” I mumble out. “I’m starved.”
“Me too. Baba’s had me working since six on the storage fridge. And I wondered what you were saying when Baba started yelling. He’s so loud.” Mei starts pulling plastic containers and cardboard food carriers out of the bags.
“Thanks so much for delivering it yourself. We really should hang out some time; reminisce about high school and stuff.” My stomach is hangry-grumbling now.
“Yeah, that would be great! I always thought you were insanely cool. Did you know that?” Mei gives another of her infectious laughs and she moves out of the kitchen to stand by the now-closed door.
Despite my exhaustion, Jim’s death, my run-in with Liam, and the slightly burning mark on my hand, I smile. She had thought I was cool in high school. Me. She must have had massively low standards, because I was the trademarked weirdo without a clique. Of course, when I started dating Adam, I got a little higher on the popularity totem pole.
“No, I didn’t know that.” I smile at Mei and she smiles back. Shit, I don’t have any female friends and now my only male friend is a cop. He’s not exactly someone I’m going to spill about my sex life to.
“Hey, I don’t have school on Wednesday nights. Want to get together next week?” Mei’s got her hand on the doorknob now.
I hesitate, but only for a second. “Yeah, sure. You’ll have to tell me about your classes.”
Mentioning school makes Mei shine so bright that her glow even rivals my crazy, juiced-up diamond-glittering shine, courtesy of one Liam Drake. Immediately, Mei launches into a half-hour, nonstop chatter dance about everything she’s learned, what she’ll be taking spring semester, and how her father is already having her update all the computer systems at the restaurant. I tried to stay as enthusiastic and attentive as I could, but her enthusiasm only made me happy that my school days were behind me.
My apprenticeship had been the worst. It had been after dad had died of course and I’d hired a new funeral director to run the business. It was hard, replacing him, but I’d done it—it was either that or let the old Victori
an stay empty and dormant until I finished mortuary college. I had to keep the business alive. Aside from me, it was the last thing that existed of the Cage family.
The environment hadn’t been the bad part of apprenticing. It had taken some finagling, but eventually I’d been approved to work at our business...my business, because everyone else was dead...because I’d be under the tutorship of someone outside the family. So, it was familiar, to apprentice under Old Mr. Jones. Now, watching him operate within the sphere that had only ever been my family’s was the difficult part.
Every time he’d talk to me, passing along advice, leading me through preparing a body, I’d see my dad’s face superimposed against his. Like dual mouths talking.
It had not been a soul drawn back to the world by my power. Not a spirit tethered by unfinished business. It wasn’t a haunting. Not a real one.
I take that back. Memories can be real and haunting. Mei brings me out of my thoughts with yet another childish giggle. “Well, I better get going. Baba can only bend so far before he breaks. I’m sure he’s realized I’m gone by now.”
We smile at each other once more. Maybe this shitty, shitty day is going to have one bright spot. I could really use a friend... a friend that has nothing to do with death and murders and crime, that is. And I wonder if she remembers Adam from school. It would be nice to have someone else remember him.
Once I’ve waved her off, watching her little blue Honda puttering down the drive, I feel a sense of warmth building in my chest that has nothing to do with magic and everything to do with a good old fashioned human connection.
Of course, then I fill myself with a different kind of warmth.
I stuff my face with every single bite of the food I’ve ordered, saving the steamed dumplings with dark, sweet plum sauce for last.
My pants suddenly feel really, really, tight in the waistline. I frown. I’ve just gotten back into a size 14 with a 12 in sight and I was already one-tracking it back to a sixteen. And from that size, it would only be a short fall back to an eighteen. But I just don’t have it in me to actually care right now.