Anadin Skyporker had never had to race this fast in his life. The rusty little Tunafish was about to overtake the Krakling, the Squid-G was almost out of sight and the asteroid field of Salami was whizzing towards him like a crazy stone firework display.
“Shoot to swill, Baycon!” he screamed into his communications button. “Shoot them BOTH!”
“Right away, Your Imperialness!” General Baycon said.
BANG-SPLAT!
A swill gun suddenly splattered the tentacles of the Squid-G. Dark Wader felt the ship rock from side to side. The stinky remains of the cannonball squelched on to the vast cliff-face of a nearby asteroid.
“That nasty little cheat’s shooting at us from the moon of Rynd,” Wader said, looking out of the window. “What a surprise.”
The Tunafish was catching up. But then—
BANG-SPLAT!
“Whiffing winkles!” gasped Fuzz as the Tunafish’s windscreens went black. “I recognize that pong. The swill gun that got the Flashaway – it was Skyporker! And now he’s turning it on us. What a stinky thing to do.”
“Windscreen wipers on full, Rocky,” said Splash. “I added a booster button last night!”
SQUEE … squelch! SQUEE … squelch! SQUEE … squelch! SQUEE … squelch!
BANG-SPLAT! BANG-SPLAT!
“You can’t catch me that way, Skyporker!” shouted Rocky. He pulled on the joystick. The Tunafish jumped like a dolphin, just missing two stinking balls of swill as they hurtled past.
“AAARGH!” screamed Skyporker, racing along behind. “Wader and the penguins got past the swill guns! DO SOMETHING, GENERAL BAYCON!”
“The Black Hole of Pudyng will finish them off, Your Royal Pigness,” said General Baycon in a reassuring voice.
Unlike the action-packed asteroid field of Salami, the Black Hole of Pudyng sat like an enormous spider at the centre of a great empty web of space. Speed was good, but so was caution. If the raceships passed too close to the Black Hole’s great unblinking eye, they would be sucked up and crunched into nothing.
“Here we GO!” roared Rocky, slamming on the thruster. “We have to go close, guys, so hold your breath!”
The Space Penguins felt the chill of the Black Hole of Pudyng as they belted past. Rocky had steered them clear of the Black Hole’s terrible pull – but only just.
“NOOOO!” squealed Skyporker. He had kept a good distance away from the Black Hole, hoping the giant space whirlpool would grind his enemies into dust. Now he was further behind than ever.
“We’ve only got the meteor shower of Meatior to go, crew!” cried Captain Krill.
The sky burst into flames as the meteors of Meatior zoomed past the Tunafish like fiery arrows.
‘Watch out, Rocky!” said Splash, clinging on to his goggles for dear life. “There’s a meteor. There’s another. And there’s another!”
The Tunafish galloped through the flaming meteors of Meatior like a seahorse. Dark Wader’s Squid-G was still ahead, but Rocky was closing the gap. Then—
KABOOOM!
A strange-looking meteor with a flaming red tail exploded right beside the Tunafish, which flipped over like an omelette. Rocky kept his flippers on the joystick until the spaceship was the right way up again.
“That wasn’t a meteor,” gasped Captain Krill. “Skyporker’s cheating again. Keep your eyes peeled for any more meteors with red tails, crew!”
“Aye, aye, Captain!”
Skyporker dipped after the Tunafish. His head was like a hive of angry hornets and he was sweating like – well, like a pig.
“I DON’T CARE IF WE HAVEN’T GOT ANY SWILL LEFT, BAYCON!” he screeched into his communications button. “MAKE SOME! I – AM – LOSING – THIS – RACE!”
As the Tunafish dived between the last burning meteors and back down towards the Bangerz runway, another meteor with a tail of bright red flames gave chase.
“Flippers on full, Rocky!” Captain Krill shouted. “Don’t let that red-tailed meteor get us!”
The Tunafish spun like an ice-skater, missing the red flaming mega-meteor by the whisker of a catfish. They were flying so fast they had almost caught up with the Squid-G.
“AARGH!” screamed the Emperor, entering the atmosphere of Sossij.
KABOOOOM!
The Krakling hit the mega-meteor, which exploded. Bits of red racecraft flew into the air. For the first time in his life, Emperor Anadin Skyporker, the space pig, discovered what it felt like to fly.
“Watch out, Crabba!” roared Dark Wader, his laser eyes brightening with shock.
WALLOP!
The broken nose of the Krakling struck the Squid-G right in its silver belly.
“Whoops,” said Crabba, and sat on his claws to hide his eyes.
The Squid-G zoomed downwards and hit the ground hard.
CRRRRUNCH!
“Ooooooh, poo!” screamed Dark Wader.
His race for the Golden Galaxy Goblet was over.
The windows of Bangerz shook in their frames. Raceships tooted their horns. Fireworks exploded in the Sossij sky.
“PEN-GUINS! PEN-GUINS! PEN-GUINS!” roared the crowd as the Space Penguins stood on the winners’ podium, waving proudly.
“I’m pleased to present you, Rocky Waddle, with the Golden Galaxy Goblet,” announced Streeki Baycon. “Winner of this year’s Superchase Space Race!”
“PEN-GUINS! PEN-GUINS! PEN-GUINS!”
Rocky stepped forward to receive the great golden cup.
“Thanks,” he said. “But I want to give the Goblet to my Captain, Captain T. Krill. He made this whole thing possible.”
“PEN-GUINS! PEN-GUINS!”
Captain Krill took the Goblet. “Thank you, Rocky,” he said. “But I think it should go to Splash Gordon, for his hard work on the Tunafish last night.”
“PEN-GUINS! PEN-GUINS!”
“And I think it should go to Fuzz Allgrin for his excellent fish soup,” said Splash, handing the Golden Galaxy Goblet over yet again.
“I’ll accept it for everyone,” said Fuzz. “The Space Penguins are a team, after all. And I shall mix a fish cocktail in the Golden Galaxy Goblet tonight to celebrate!”
P.S.
Dark Wader and Anadin Skyporker limped towards the finishing line. It was getting dark.
“I hate the Superchase Space Race,” said Skyporker bitterly. “I hate you, too, Wader. But most of all, I hate those Space Penguins.”
“I bet you don’t hate them as much as I do, you pathetic porky pipsqueak,” growled Wader.
“I’m a pathetic porky EMPEROR, not a pathetic porky pipsqueak!” screeched Skyporker. He was having the worst day of his life.
“My armour is cracked and my ship has exploded and my bottom hurts and if I want to call you a pipsqueak I WILL CALL YOU A PIPSQUEAK!” shouted Wader. “Now, I’m going to sit down on the finishing line and have a little rest. I deserve it.”
“Don’t sit there, boss,” said Crabba suddenly, from his usual perch on his boss’s shoulder. “That’s where we put the last space m—”
KABOOOOM!
“OH, POO…”
Copyright
STRIPES PUBLISHING
An imprint of Little Tiger Press
1 The Coda Centre, 189 Munster Road,
London SW6 6AW
First published as an ebook by Stripes Publishing in 2013.
Text copyright © Lucy Courtenay, 2013
Illustrations copyright © James Davies, 2013
Cover illustration copyright © Antony Evans, 2013
eISBN: 978-1-84715-493-4
The right of Lucy Courtenay and James Davies to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved.
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any forms, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in
the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
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Galaxy Race Page 4