“I’m not sure,” Parker answers. “Lily’s invited everyone.”
“Everyone knows Lily,” Ashton interjects. “She’s your cousin, right? I thought she said this was her mother’s family home that you all share?”
“It is.” Parker glances back at me at the mention of his family, probably trying to read my face. Because, yes, I’m silently asking if Joey will be there. He shakes his head ever so slightly. I relax into the seat with relief. I could go all summer, or a lifetime, without having to see him again. “But Lily gets more use out of it than we do, especially during the summer. My mother stays there during the school year to commute to Dartmouth. I almost never come up. It’s too quiet for me. I prefer the city.”
I fight to suppress a grin, not surprised by his answer. Maybe we are more alike than I want to admit.
Ashton peppers Parker with questions the remainder of the ride, and even though we’re supposedly in the same town, it takes us a half hour to get to Lily’s because everything is so spread out. And it doesn’t help when we finally turn onto the road leading to the house and its dirt, forcing Parker to drive like five miles an hour the entire bumpy mile or two.
The enormous luxury cabin is isolated, surrounded by thick woods without a neighbor in sight. I spotted small wooden signs with numbers nailed to trees at the head of dirt roads that branched off of the one we were on. I assume they lead to other homes, but they can’t be seen from here. Cars overflow out of the driveway and continue along the tree line. Parker drives past them into the circular driveway and double parks next to an Audi coupe in front of the main doors.
Even though it’s still daylight, all of the lights shine through the contemporary wooden cabin with angles of glass and beamed overhangs. I’m having a hard time even calling it a cabin since it’s bigger than any house I’ve ever seen.
As we enter, the music bounces around the open cathedral ceiling and out the open doors to the back. I only get a second to glance around the ultra-modern leather, granite and glass design of the main living space and the shiny stainless and marble kitchen, before we’re swept up by the energy outdoors. The party is taking place on a two-level deck that connects to a dock jutting out into the water. People are talking, laughing, swimming, and eating everywhere. It’s like a big barbecue, but so much nicer. Everyone is dressed like they just stepped off a yacht, or flew in on a private jet—casual luxury.
I noticed it today at the country club too, or maybe I was more sensitive to it than others because I’ve never been exposed to this much wealth in my entire life—it was obvious who came from money and who didn’t. And it wasn’t based on if they were working at the club versus a member. Because other privileged students, whether enrolled in private schools or college, work at the country club alongside the local students and residents. And the wealthy weren’t more attractive or better dressed. Some had horrible fashion sense, to be honest. But they distinguish themselves in the way they talk, move, and generally hold themselves—the elongated posture, the carefree laugh and the ease in which they do … everything. I think if Ashton were to find herself cut off from her trust fund, she’d still have that extra something about her that screams she grew up with money. It’s engrained in her DNA.
And here at Lily’s party, it wreaks of privilege and wealth. I’m choking on it, like walking into a room filled with smokers—the only person who notices the stench is the one who doesn’t smoke. The smoke doesn’t bother me, as long as they don’t blow it my face.
Parker has his hand on my lower back, guiding me through. I silently plead with Ashton with to intercept him, and she makes a face that says she’s trying. But Parker knows what he’s doing, and no matter who approaches, or what obstacle of people we have to maneuver around, he remains tethered to me. And I very much need to break free … before I don’t want to.
“You’re here!” Lily is in front of us. She’s wearing a blush pink string bikini top with a mini white sarong. Her hair is pulled up in a high ponytail, and her skin is glowing. Again, I’m caught off-guard by how effortlessly perfect she appears. “You should put on your suits. Ashton, you know where the changing rooms are downstairs, right?”
“I do,” Ashton tells her. “We’ll be right back.” Ashton takes my hand and snaps me away from Parker before he can react, and I feel like kissing her.
“Thank. You,” I exaggerate each word, relieved to have broken free.
“What is the situation with you two?” Ashton walks down a set of steps off the deck that lead to a basement level. She pushes a glass slider open, revealing a cozy sitting room.
“He and one of my best friends hook up regularly. And even though they both say it’s nothing, I don’t touch anyone my friends have. No exceptions.”
Ashton laughs. “Girl, either you won’t have many friends at Blackwood, or you won’t be hooking up with any guys. It’s impossible not to recycle here.”
“Recycle?” I cringe, having no problem interpreting the meaning, but disturbed by it all the same. Ashton laughs again. “I don’t plan on being here long enough for it to matter.”
“He seems like a decent guy, and he’s definitely into you. I’m not going to throw myself at someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Sorry.”
“I know. He really isn’t a bad guy. I just … I don’t trust myself, and I can’t face Nina if anything were to happen. I know she’s lying when she says she doesn’t care about him. And even though they really are toxic for each other, I can’t go there. Maybe now that we’re away from him, it’ll be easier to avoid him.”
“I can totally help you avoid.”
Ashton hands me my suit when we enter a hall lined with three partially opened plank doors. “Meet me here. We’ll walk out together.” She disappears into a room. I enter and find a dressing room with its own shower. And I don’t know why this is my trigger, but … What the hell am I doing here?
A few minutes later, I emerge in my two-piece, oily-black halter and strappy bottoms. It’s a bit of a sporty look, but it keeps everything tucked in place in a way string bikinis don’t. Whereas Ashton is all legs in her one-piece that cuts high and plunges low, with a mini sarong loosely draped on her hips. I thank my platform sandals for giving my diminutive stature every inch of added height.
“Drinks upstairs first.” Ashton directs us down the hall to a set of stairs that lead up to the main room of the house where we find liquor bottles and mixers lined along the kitchen counter. “Champagne?” she asks, opening a fridge that is stocked exclusively with beer, wine and champagne.
“Sure,” I respond, never actually having tasted champagne. I mean, we bought the cheap stuff last New Year’s, but we mostly sprayed it all over each other. I’ve never had real champagne. It can’t taste worse than piss-warm keg beer.
I take the glass she hands to me and take a sip. The bubbles crawl up my nose, making me want to sneeze. I cringe. I can’t keep my nose from scrunching in distaste
“Don’t like it?”
“Just have to get used to it,” I explain. Ashton muffles a laugh.
“You can have whatever you want. No sense drinking something you don’t like. I’ll mix you a drink instead.”
I hand it back to her. “That would be better.”
Ashton takes the glass of champagne for herself and proceeds to create something made up of a lot of different ingredients. She shakes it and pours it over a glass of ice, topping it with a lime slice. When I take a sip, it has a mint and lime essence, with a touch of something sweet. I can’t even taste the alcohol. “So much better. Thank you.”
“Of course.” She winks at me. “Let me go first so we can avoid.”
I follow after her. We veer to the left down the stairs and end up at the hot tub.
“Ashton!” a girl in a bright turquoise bikini shouts from within the tub.
Ashton sits on the edge of the deck next to the girl, only sticking her feet in the water. I sit next to her, subtly scanning the crowd to see if I recognize
anyone from the country club while keeping an eye out for Parker.
“Lana, this is Kaely. She works at the club too.”
We exchange a “hi.”
“I saw you when I was working the counter at the Clubhouse, but we didn’t get to meet.”
“Oh. We never made it into the Clubhouse today. We got distracted mid-tour,” Ashton explains.
I recognize almost instantly that Kaely doesn’t radiate the prosperity aura.
“Which school do you go to?” I ask, just to test my theory.
“Kingston High.”
“You grew up here?”
“My entire boring life,” she says with a heavy sigh. “Until this summer anyway.”
In my periphery, a flash of blond catches my attention. I turn to find Grant walking farther down the deck. I take two huge swallows of my drink to keep from doing something idiotic … like call out his name.
Ashton nudges my arm. “I know you see him.” I whip around and silently beg her not to do anything stupid. She laughs at my panic.
“Stop,” I plead. “You’re making it worse. I’m trying really hard here, and you’re not helping.”
Ashton snorts. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like you can’t function. I noticed earlier today when we were at the ninth.”
I close my eyes in mortification at her reference to how I tripped over my own feet when Grant came out of the ninth hole shack with two huge bags of ice hefted onto his shoulders. I nearly fell face first but caught myself last minute. It’s not like he was shirtless or anything either. I tried to convince myself it was because I was expecting to see Rhett, and was just surprised when it was him. But that wasn’t the truth.
“And again when we were clocking out.”
I literally lost my voice when he spoke to me as we were leaving for the day. He said, “Nice to meet you, Lana.” That’s it. That simple. And I was a fish, gasping for air. What the hell?!
I become this pathetic, swoony puddle of a girl whenever he’s within five feet of me, and I’m about to drown myself in the hot tub to make it stop.
“I swear to you, I’m never like this. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Kaely asks, looking between us to try to get in on the conversation.
I glare Ashton into silence.
“Lana has a … phobia,” Ashton fibs with a huge, taunting smile on her face. “But I think you should face your fear head-on. It’s not nearly as scary as you think.”
“What’s your phobia?” Kaely asks, really wanting to be included.
I’m not trying to exclude her purposely. But I don’t really know her, and this, whatever it is, isn’t something I want to talk about—with anyone. So I say the most honest thing I can. “Love.”
Ashton loses it. Completely. She has to cover her nose to keep the champagne from shooting out of it.
“Stop it,” I scorn. “It has nothing to do with him. I really fear falling in love. I was being honest.”
“Really?” a male voice asks from the corner of the hot tub, right next to me.
Ashton’s eyes become the size of full moons when she sees who overheard me. And now I’m terrified to look.
I feel a knee inadvertently bump mine. I slowly turn and come face-to … shoulder with Grant, sitting on the deck with his feet lowered in the hot tub like ours. I think I will drown myself now.
“You’ve never been in love?”
“No.”
“How can you be afraid of something you’ve never experienced?” He peers intently into my eyes, like he’ll find the answers there. I don’t blink. My mouth is dry. And breathing takes effort.
“I learn from other people’s mistakes. And I’ve watched as they let themselves fall for the wrong person over and over again.” I’m surprised my voice sounds strong despite the wheezing sensation happening in my chest.
“But what if it’s the right person?”
“You only think it’s the right person, until they become the wrong one.” My voice is even stronger, like it’s outside of my floundering body. Even I’m surprised by its conviction.
His mouth twitches in amusement. “You never know unless you try.”
“Love isn’t a game that you try and receive a pat on the back when you fail. It’s too big of a risk. I’d have to be an idiot to fall in love. No way I’ll ever do it.” I swallow hard. There’s something causing the truth to slip too easily from my mouth. I’m never this honest with my beliefs.
“Ever?”
“Never.” I can’t feel a single inch of my body, completely lost in his unblinking gaze.
He nods in contemplation, allowing the strength of my conviction to sink in.
I sling back the rest of my drink and heft myself onto my feet. “I need another drink. Do you Ashton?”
Ashton and Kaely are staring at me with big, round, animé expressions. Ashton snaps out of it first. “Yes. I’m dying for another drink. Kaely, come on.”
As soon as we reach the kitchen, my knees give out and I collapse onto a stool. “Holy shit.”
Ashton gawks at me. “The first conversation you have with Prince Philip is to tell him that you’re never going to fall in love, ever? Omigod, that was … intense.”
“You like Grant?” Kaely asks in awe.
“What?” I forcefully shake off the remnants of what just happened. “I don’t even know him.” That seems to keep being my only defense to that question. Because I can’t make my lips form, “No.”
“Heard you broke a thousand hearts out by the hot tub when you declared to you’ll never fall in love.”
I groan as Brendan sits down next to me. “What are you doing here?”
“I was invited. Just like everyone else.” He leans in close and lowers his voice. “It’s nice to see you too, Princess.”
I glower at him.
“Want something to drink, Brendan?” Ashton offers, setting a fresh cocktail in front of me.
“You know what I like,” he says with a wink. She cocks her eyebrow flirtatiously. Ashton proceeds to scoop some ice cubes into a glass and pour an amber liquid over the top.
“I know exactly what you like,” she says seductively, setting it in front of him. I have to move before I throw up all over both of them. I step in front of the window that overlooks the lake. People are sitting on the dock with their feet in the water. Others are jumping off the end, and a few are floating on inflatable chairs.
I don’t remember exactly when I learned how to swim. Sherling has a town pool and we would go when I was little. And I remember my mother taking me to a lake once or twice with a bunch of other families with kids, but the details are hazy. I’m not a strong swimmer. But at some point in my life, I learned how to do it well enough to keep me from sinking. I guess that says a lot about my life in general.
“He’s not your type,” Brendan says from beside me, looking at the same view. “He has too much … integrity for people like us.”
“Like us?” I look up at him in offense. “Don’t start comparing me to you.”
“Let’s put it this way, we’re at Blackwood. He is at Printz-Lee.”
“So?” I don’t know why I’m getting defensive about this. I shouldn’t care if I’m Grant’s type, or if he’s mine.
Brendan grins that mischievous, knowing grin that makes me want to punch him in the throat. “We don’t deserve people like him.”
And that shuts me up. I don’t know how to argue against that.
“I’m going outside,” I announce to no one specific, choosing to use the side door out of the kitchen so I don’t have to cut through the middle of the crowd.
Brendan’s words deflate me, and I hate him for knowing just what to say to make me feel like shit. Dick.
Why do I care what Grant Philips thinks of me? I just met him today. I mean, how much can you actually know about a person after just a few hours? I haven’t even spoken with him, other than to declare my vow to not fall in love
.
I groan. If I could take back any five minutes of my life … I pause. Yeah, that wouldn’t be it. It’d be the time in the convenience store. Definitely.
There’s a steady decline of small wooden platforms along this side of the house that eventually dump onto a small private beach. I lower onto a cloth covered lawn chair and watch people jump from the deck and splash into the water. The sun is setting on the far side of the lake, swirling oranges and pinks into the water, like someone dipped in a paintbrush to rinse it off. I can see the surrounding houses from here, nestled around the lake and within the woods.
I release a deep breath when I notice Grant on the dock. He’s sitting next to two guys, listening to whatever they’re talking about with their animated hand gestures. He’s dangling a beer bottle between his knees, nodding along with their passionate conversation, like it’s enthralling. As if he can sense me watching him from within this small inlet of the beach encircled by scraggly bushes, he raises his head and peers directly at me.
He smiles softly and I smile back. I think he’s about to stand but then decides against it.
“Avoiding me?” I hear from behind me. I close my eyes and exhale my disappointment. When I look up at him, he says, “Don’t answer that.”
Parker sits on a lawn chair beside me. “Brought you food.” He hands me a plate. It smells amazing.
“Thanks.” I take the plate filled with beef skewers, grilled vegetables and potato salad. He holds out a fork. “And you know why I’m avoiding you.”
“She’s not here, Lana. And why would she have to know?”
I ignore him and stab a potato.
“Not like Sherling parties, huh?” he notes, not following up the insinuation that just because Nina’s not here, it’s okay for something to happen between us.
I let out a short laugh. “Nothing like Sherling parties. I shouldn’t even be here.”
We eat in silence for a minute.
“No, you shouldn’t.” His voice is quiet with a hint of apology. “I mean, you should never have been arrested.”
Knowing You_The Cursed Series Part 2 Page 8