Jake's Women (Wizards)

by Booth, John

  Betty considered. “She might be. It’s difficult to tell.”

  “What about her aura? I can see the line of gold in yours.”

  “Not had the chance to look at her since I got the sight. She left us when I was three.”

  “And never came back to see you?” I was shocked.

  “Not a word until the gold turned up.” Betty turned to the dressing table and started searching it. She finally found a sheet of note paper.

  “I’ve got some things to tell you. I wrote a list.”

  She started mumbling as she ran her finger down it.

  “Have sex, done. Knife, knife…”

  “I have it back,” I pointed out.

  “Knew that, no that wasn’t it. Oh yes. Don’t forget the knife reveals many truths, not just possessed elves.” Her eyes scanned further down the page. “Your children? Nope, not going to say a word.”

  “What about my children?”

  “They’ll be fine. Oh yes, this one is important. The government is willing to let us have some of the money from the treasure trove early, though we will have to pay it back with interest if anything goes wrong. A quarter of a million pounds each. I’ve sent your wife in Wales the letter.”

  That took my breath away. While I was sitting there with my mouth open, Betty got the bomb letter and gave it back to me. Then she kissed me, using her tongue. Despite my best efforts to resist, I felt myself respond.

  “I always did like a hard man,” Betty said and stepped away from me. “But not tonight. There’s football on the telly.”

  It’s always nice to know where you sit in the hierarchy; apparently sex with me was somewhere below watching soccer.

  I stood and hopped to my parent’s house.

  31. Heat

  “Jake. Breakfast!”

  I recognized Mam’s voice as I drifted out of a dream that involved me fighting the three Diabli I’d seen in the Damaged Zone. Needless to say, I’d been losing.

  For a second, I was a schoolboy again and worried about being late for school. I was back in what I laughingly refer to as reality before my feet hit the floor.

  “Coming, Mam,” I shouted back. A quick look at the clock showed it was gone nine. It was unusual for me to sleep late. I must have been more tired than I thought.

  I used magic to clean myself and get dressed. It wasn’t as much fun as taking a shower, but it was a lot faster. Running down the stairs I ran into Dad in the hall.

  “Morning, son,” Dad said, deftly stepping out of my way to avoid a collision.

  “Morning, Dad.”

  The smell of frying bacon led me towards the kitchen. Mam had laid on a full breakfast and I was suddenly starving.

  “It was good of you to visit. Your Dad and I have been waking up wondering what world we might find ourselves in. It’s reassuring to have you here with us.”

  Mam brought me a plate filled with mouth-watering items and it took an effort of will to answer her before starting to eat.

  “I’ll try and get over every day, but you know how complicated my life is.”

  Mam nodded and I began to shovel food.

  “Your Auntie May called again. She needs your help.”

  Mam has three sisters, all older than her. The oldest is Aunt May and she’s the one I see least often. She lives in Cardiff, which is some distance away. I vaguely remember her husband’s funeral. I was a little kid at the time. She was at the wedding though, which was a little surprising as she’s strongly chapel and I would have thought that two brides would have put her off.

  “The family has been noticeable by their absence since they found out about me,” I pointed out.

  Mam frowned. “You’re hardly here, Jake. It’s no wonder you don’t see them.”

  “Did Auntie May say what she wanted me to do?”

  “She was a little vague. I think it’s something to do with her son.”

  “Aunt May has a son? I have cousin I’ve never met?”

  “He was at Llewellyn’s funeral. Don’t you remember?”

  “I was five. Did you invite him to the wedding?”

  “He didn’t come. He left for the United States the year after his father died, which was the year he graduated from university. He must be nearly forty now.”

  I tried to remember him. He would have been an adult at the funeral, but no image came to mind.

  “I’m too busy, Mam.”

  “Jake, she’s family.” Mam sounded hurt.

  Rather than prolong the argument I agreed to talk to her on the phone as soon as I got a spare moment. I have limited involvement with my relatives. Prior to the wedding, I was regarded as the black sheep of the family, the one who had amounted to nothing and was always driving his parents crazy by going walkabout. Since the wedding I’d heard nothing from any of them. I think they are scared of me.

  My next stop was the Bat Cave. If Fluffy had no ideas about the letter I would return it to the Inspector and have done with it, at least until after the problems with the Cult were sorted.

  I prepared to hop and a feeling of dread came over me. It was so strong I fell to the floor, where it surprisingly reduced in intensity. I never used to get these feelings, even when heading for what looked like certain death. However, it would take someone more stupid than me to ignore it. I put a shield around me strong enough to block anything likely and hopped.

  Intense heat flared above my head. If I had been standing I would have died as the shield was only partially effective against the blast. I hopped to the side of the cave and watched four massive versions of the staffs used by the Cult vaporize the place where I’d arrived moments before. They were propped up on tripods aimed at the center of the cave. They were unmanned.

  Four new bolts of bottled lightning shot from the sides of the cave adding to the carnage. The heat was melting the rock and the roof began to sag alarmingly. In the light of the glowing rock I saw two of my attackers. They wore the distinctive white cloaks of the Cult. Their protective shields formed eggs of energy around them as did mine. We were all floating above the floor which was beginning to slosh around.

  I shot sleep spells at the two men and watched in horror as their shields disappeared and they fell into a frothing cauldron of melted stone. That was unexpected. You could have killed me and my shield would have stayed in place for hours after, but they hadn’t taken that precaution. Flesh vaporized as they landed, their cloaks burnt fiercely and I looked away.

  On the other side of the cave I caught a glimpse of two more of them. They must have seen what happened to their colleagues because they hopped away.

  I had to act quickly to save the cave which was beginning to fall in on itself. Magic forces pushed the roof up into a dome, higher than the cave had been before. I calmed the liquid floor and then sent all the heat in the rock into the upper atmosphere.

  The stone instantly crystallized, giving the cave a glass like finish. I had to admit the cave looked prettier than before, even though all the furniture had been destroyed. I sat down to catch my breath and Fluffy appeared in the cave. He appeared a foot above the new floor and fell with a thump.

  [Have you been redecorating without me?]

  “The place needed a good clean up.”

  [I liked it the way it was.]

  “Too late now.”

  [I suspect that something violent has happened. My nose detects the scent of burning flesh and I don’t remember the bone seating arrangements in the corner.]

  I flooded the cave with light to see what he was talking about. One of the men I’d sent to sleep had landed on all fours. What was left of him looked like a low bone bench, embedded into the floor. All that was left of the other man that was visible was his raised buttocks, again embedded into the floor.

  [Can I see through your eyes? Magic sight is so limited.]

  I let Fluffy take control of my eyes and found myself scanning the room before ending up focused on my dragon. He began to preen himself using my eyes as his mirror and
I took control back.

  [Overall, it is an improvement. But we need new furniture, lighting and a source of water. You might want to get rid of those bone remnants while you are at it.]

  “And you should arrive in glim from now on. I don’t want to have to remove charred dragon legs from the cave if they come back.”

  [Understood.]

  It took a few visits to the municipal dump and a fair amount of magical transmogrification to get the cave back to something like its original fixtures and fittings. Fluffy insisted on supervising, which meant it was well into the afternoon before we finished.

  The last task was getting rid of the two Cult men. I cut a half cylinder of stone from the cave floor encompassing both of them and hopped to a place in the air over a desert on Tydan. This was where I fought Bronwyn and there was now a vast sea below me. Wizards can hop to anywhere they have been and I remembered this place being much further from the ground than it currently was from the sea. The water must be nearly a mile deep. I watched the stone and bone collage drop into the sea without much in the way of regret. They started it, and paid the price for losing.

  [The attack was well planned. How did you survive it?]

  I relaxed on the new sofa. It was larger than the old one and much more comfortable.

  “I had a premonition.”

  [You have been having more sex with the Norn?]

  That hadn’t occurred to me. Betty had said that every time I had sex with her would increase my magic in subtle ways. Who knew? It explained a few feelings I’d been having lately.

  “Are premonitions linked with magic sight?”

  [Of course. Magic sight exists in all times at once, though we usually see only the now.]

  “Does this mean I’m becoming a Norn?”

  Fluffy laughed and flames bounced merrily over the new floor without leaving even a char mark. Cleaning the cave was going to be so much easier from now on. Fluffy had told me earlier that he going to use the semi-circular groove in the floor as a barbeque pit. On its own, that would be a big improvement, charred sheep residue wise.

  [You will never be a Norn. Given your propensity for making bad decisions, you will probably stop noticing the premonitions after a while.]

  I was pretty sure I had just been insulted. As I shifted on the sofa I heard the rustle of plastic. It was the letter in the evidence bag. I’d forgotten all about it.

  “Remember the letter Inspector Thomas received?”

  [No, you never mentioned it.] Telepathic reproach edged his words.

  “Well here it is. Does it mean anything to you?”

  I held it so I could see it clearly and let him use my eyes.

  [What a waste of time.]

  “You can’t read it?”

  [Of course I can. It is in Balmack, a language used by an ancient race of humans, but it is gibberish.]

  “Read it.”

  [To whom it may concern, not that this will mean anything to you cretins. The person who is truly responsible for all the deaths is Jake Morrissey, because he didn’t have the good grace to die in the junkyard as he was expected to. I have tried to keep casualties to a minimum and you can’t blame me. Blame him. He’s the one revealing magic to all and sundry, not me. He’s the one who should know better. I should have strangled him when he was a child.]

  “Betty was spot on.” My respect for her went up a notch.

  [She is Norn.]

  “Who are the Balmack?”

  [They were at the Conference. They go back nearly as far as the Dragons. They are a race of human philosophers; slowly shrinking in numbers and never occupying more than five worlds. They are sophisticated magic users. They have little time for science. And I would bet anything you cared to wager that a member of their race did not write this letter. They would be appalled by it. They were in favor of you representing Valhalla. Their Representative told me the Valhallans had been denied entry into the club for far too long.]

  “So they have no reason to attack me?”

  [Sadly, their Representative was one of those killed by your Diabli sword.]

  Now that was a bummer.

  “Teach me their language. I might need it someday.”

  Fluffy put out a claw and as I held it information flowed between us.

  Once their language had been absorbed I understood what Fluffy meant about the Balmack. Language and culture are closely linked and learning the language conveys a feel of the people who spoke it. These people were non-violent, cultured and honorable. It seemed unlikely that the letter writer was one of them.

  Looking at my watch I was surprised to find it was not yet four. I remember when I had quiet days.

  “I’m going to see Jenny and Merlin. Do you want to come?”

  [First I must learn my way around the cave. A dragon should know his home.]

  “See you later then.”

  I hopped to Jenny and Merlin

  32. Meetings

  Jenny smiled and kissed me.

  “Are you staying for tea?”

  “I’ll stay the night if you’ll have me.”

  Jenny winked, “I’ll have you all right; if only to put Esmeralda’s nose out of joint.”

  I couldn’t help moaning. This competition between my wives had to stop before they wore me out.

  “Don’t moan or I’ll keep you at it until you get it right.”

  My parents in law were out, so we had the remainder of the afternoon to ourselves. I was hoping for some quality time with Merlin, but Jenny had other ideas. She stuck a post-it note to my arm.

  “That’s your Aunt May’s number. Ring her before you drive your mother insane.”

  “Do I have to? I barely know her.”

  Jenny put her hands to her hips, Esmeralda style. “Jake Morrissey, you have to help your relatives. It’s the law.”

  Not one I’d ever heard of, but then I’d been putting it off for weeks. I reluctantly dialed the number. The phone was picked up on first ring.

  “It’s Jake, Auntie May.”

  The voice on the other end sounded more Welsh than I remembered. I think phones do that sometimes, let you hear things you’d otherwise miss.

  “Jake, Dafydd is missing. He hasn’t answered his phone and I’ve left message after message on his phone. Can you go to America and find out what’s happened to him. I’m so worried and I don’t know who else to call.”

  Now this may sound stupid, but I can’t hop to places on Earth I’ve never been. Not with any certainty of getting there. To a wizard, hops are pretty much the same effort, to another world, or another universe. Only really short hops, like to the other side of the room need less power. I first went to Salice by accident and most other places by following other wizards. When you have an infinite number of universes to choose from, what looks like New York may be in another galaxy. It must be admitted that to a Welsh lad, New York often looks like it’s in another galaxy.

  “Have you got his address?” This is what’s known as the coward’s way out.

  I wrote down the address and telephone number she gave me, which she said was to an apartment in Los Angeles, and promised to get back to her in a day or two.

  “How are you going to get there?” Jenny asked. She knows all my limitations.

  “I haven’t got a clue. I wonder how fast Fluffy can fly in glim.”

  “Have you checked on his eyes?”

  I shook my head. So many things to do and I was always handling the current emergency. I told her about the letter.

  “If my Dad knew magic, it could be him,” Jenny said half-seriously. “You really annoy him by not being here with me and Merlin very much.”

  “The Conference wasn’t my fault.”

  She grinned at me. “Of course it was. You signed up for it.”

  I tried to return to the subject. “But among really proficient magic users what choices do we have for our mad bomber?”

  “If we had our own home, Dad wouldn’t know how much you neglect me.”

>   I saw how eager Jenny was to tell me about the treasure trove money so I played along.

  “How would we possibly afford that?”

  She ran to the dresser and waved a letter at me. “We’re rich.”

  I read the letter and expressed surprise and amazement at the news.

  “Ms. Hardy already told you.” Jenny didn’t sound annoyed about it. “You can’t lie to save your life.”

  “She saw the letter. Pretty much summed up what Fluffy read and she’s certain the bomber has a connection with me.”

  “And that’s all she did. Told you about the letter?”

  “Of course.”

  Jenny paused for a few moments and then returned to the subject of house buying.

  “Mum can look after Merlin and we can go and look at some houses. There’s one for sale less than half a mile from here.”

  “You want to live near your parents?”

  “You’re hardly here most of the time. A young mother needs support”

  “We need a house with a back garden big enough for Fluffy to land on.”

  Jenny nodded. “And two toilets, at least.”

  Pretty soon we had a list of all the features we considered essential. The house down the road met most of them, much to my surprise. Jenny rang the estate agent and we made an appointment to view it in two days’ time.

  “You will be coming with me, won’t you Jake?”

  I nodded, though the way things were going it was difficult to plan anything.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon with Merlin. He slept through most of it. And then I stayed the night, where sleep paid second fiddle to my wife’s unreasonable demands on my poor body.

  After breakfast with Jenny’s family, where all the talk was of the house we might buy, I made my farewells and hopped to Salice.

  Esmeralda was with Morgana in our apartments. Having a baby had changed her. She was no longer investigating every single aspect of what was going on in the palace. She seemed much more at ease. We spent a couple of hours discussing what had happened since we last saw each other, food distribution throughout Salice and how thinly the palace guard was being stretched. Salice didn’t have a standing army; it had me and a few hundred guards.