Only Lover

by Carole Mortimer

He nodded. ‘That’s exactly what I mean.’

  ‘Well, I won’t stand for it, Joel!’ She marched purposefully to the front door. ‘I’ll leave you with your little—girl-friend for now, and wait for you to come to your senses. I give her three weeks at the most,’ she sneered, ‘and then we’ll see how you feel about her.’

  The door slammed behind her, leaving Farrah looking slightly bemused. ‘I—you—she—’ she stammered her confusion.

  Joel turned to her, his eyes darkening at the distress clearly written in her face. He pulled her into his arms, crushing her hard against him. ‘Don’t look like that!’ he moaned into her throat. ‘No one is going to hurt you, least of all Laura.’

  Farrah was only aware of Joel, of his tense body curved intimately into her own. ‘I— Please, Joel,’ she murmured huskily. ‘Let me go.’

  ‘I will.’ His lips were doing strange things to her neck and shoulders, nudging impatiently at the thin shoulder-straps of her nightgown. His hands weren’t idle either, moulding her body against his and making her fully responsive to his arousal. ‘In a moment,’ he muttered tautly.

  Farrah was crushed hard against him as his mouth came down forcefully on hers, and it was pleasure and pain mixed up together. Joel knew exactly the right things to do to make her forgetful of their surroundings and the real circumstances of this unexpected occurrence, and soon her arms were about his shoulders and her hands entwined in the thick vibrant hair that grew low down his nape. His muscles rippled beneath her touch, and she caressed his back lovingly.

  ‘Joel! Oh, Joel!’ she groaned deep within her throat, loving the way his hands moved over her body, gently and yet with a mastery that took her over completely, body and soul.

  His lips took possession of hers yet again, arousing her until her body moved impatiently against his, urging for his full possession of her feverish senses. ‘Wait, child. Wait!’ he urged shortly, devouring the soft skin of one revealed breast.

  His words brought her to her senses in a way nothing else could have done, and she began pushing at him to stop these caresses that were destroying her and any self-respect she might have had. God! His mistress had just left the house muttering threats against both of them and she was allowing him to make love to her like a wanton! She was disgusted with herself, absolutely disgusted.

  Joel looked at her through glazed eyes and made a move to pull her back into his arms. His face darkened as she fought him with all her strength. Sighing, he stepped back, his eyes still full of sleepy passion. ‘What’s wrong now?’ he grated.

  She watched the firm play of muscles as he moved, drawn to him still in spite of herself. She loved this man! She loved him! She pushed him further away, turning her back on him to run a confused hand through her short tousled hair. This just couldn’t be happening! She turned to face him again and found him as composed and cynical as usual.

  He gave a mocking smile. ‘If you’re trying to cool the situation down, honey, I should go put a little more on. In that get-up I can see all of your beautiful body clearly outlined. Pure perfection,’ he mocked.

  ‘Oh, you!’ She hurriedly turned away again, conscious of his eyes still on her as she moved, her cheeks blazing with colour. ‘Are you going to stand there all night?’ she snapped at him, unnerved by his naked chest and smouldering eyes.

  He laughed huskily. ‘I could come to your room—but I won’t,’ he added tauntingly. He moved past her and began ascending the stairs, only to stop again as he heard someone knocking on the door. It sounded again as he turned to listen.

  Farrah looked at him sharply. ‘Miss Bennett?’

  He grinned at her. ‘I doubt it, Laura wouldn’t be that polite. At a guess I would say it’s George. Come in, George,’ he called loudly.

  She heaved a sigh of relief as the manservant came in from the kitchen, dressed incongruously in a checked dressing-gown and chocolate brown pyjamas. She had to repress a smile and she saw Joel had trouble hiding his amusement.

  ‘I’m sorry about that, sir,’ George said stiffly. ‘I did try to stop Miss Bennett, but—’

  ‘It’s okay, George, I understand.’ Joel smiled, his silk pyjamas trousers resting low down on his hips. ‘Trying to stop Laura is like trying to stop a bulldozer.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  Joel grinned at his discomfiture. ‘Okay, George, let’s get to bed now and all try and get a good night’s sleep. We’ll be leaving you to your peace and quiet tomorrow. Miss Halliday and I will be leaving shortly after breakfast.’

  To try and sleep was much more difficult than it sounded, and it was a hollowed-eyed Farrah who came downstairs the next morning. Her toast lay untouched on the tray, but she had emptied the coffee-pot.

  George took the tray from her as she reached the bottom of the stairs. ‘Mr Falcone is in the lounge, Miss Halliday.’

  She managed a wan smile. ‘Thank you, George. And thank you for looking after me so well. I loved the flowers in my room.’ George had gone one better yesterday, putting flowers in her bedroom as well as the hallway.

  Joel gave her a cursory glance as she quietly entered the lounge, slowly putting down the newspaper he had been reading. The navy sweat-shirt and denims he wore were as casual as her own attire, he was obviously ready to leave. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. ‘You slept badly.’ It was a statement, not a question.

  ‘What did you expect!’ Farrah exploded, all the pent-up emotion of the last few days coming to the fore. ‘You may not be bothered by the situation we found ourselves in last night, but I am. You were so calm, weren’t you, quite unnerved by Miss Bennett’s unexpected arrival. Well, I found it degrading and disgusting! I felt like someone you’d picked up casually for the evening and decided to sleep with.’

  ‘Calm down, Farrah. Laura—’

  ‘Calm down! Calm down! How can I calm down?’ Her hands wrung together nervously. ‘It was all so humiliating. And you enjoyed it!’ she accused.

  ‘Sure I did. Laura gave a wonderful performance. An audience would have loved every minute of it.’

  ‘An audience? What are you talking about?’

  He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Just that Laura loves to act the wronged woman. And usually she gets away with it—because I let her. Last night must have come as a nasty shock to her. Whenever she hears I’m interested in another woman she comes to my apartment and—well, I’m sure you can use your imagination. But last night it was different, you were already in my bed, so she didn’t have the chance to do her usual scene. I must say, it was quite a change.’

  ‘You mean she came here to—? And when she saw I—? Oh, God!’ Farrah slumped down into a chair, her face even paler. ‘This is terrible!’

  ‘I don’t agree, I think everything is working perfectly.’

  ‘Of course it isn’t! You heard her, she has no intention of quietly slipping out of your life.’

  ‘She will—in time. Give our relationship three weeks, she said. Well, we’ll still be together then and for as long as it takes. Her pride won’t allow for her to be humiliated for long. I would prefer that the breaking up of our business and personal relationship isn’t known by too many people, and I think it’s publicity Laura can do without.’

  ‘Then I won’t be in your life for long?’

  ‘Probably not.’

  ‘You really think so?’

  ‘I’ve said so, haven’t I!’ he snapped. ‘Now let’s leave if you’re ready.’

  Farrah thought it wise not to say any more, sitting quietly in the car as George called Joel back to the house for something. There was a black scowl on his face as he got back in beside her and Farrah was shortly to know why.

  ‘Here.’ He threw something into her lap before starting the engine and putting his foot down hard on the accelerator. ‘George thought you might have forgotten it,’ he said harshly. ‘But we know better, don’t we?’

  She looked down aghast at the jewellery case containing the emerald and diamond bracelet. She had left it on the dr
essing table where she had dropped it the evening before, expecting George to find it after they had left and return it to Joel at a later date. Instead, she had been found out, and Joel was obviously furious about it.

  ‘Thank you,’ she mumbled quietly.

  ‘Is that all you can say? You did it on purpose, we both know that.’

  ‘I don’t want anything from you.’

  ‘So you keep telling me. Then how are you to receive payment? I thought all women liked jewellery. I’ve never had one refuse it before. You don’t even have to sell it if you don’t want to. Keep it, it’ll grow in value—something for your old age. But don’t try to make me feel guilty about using you, because it won’t work.’

  ‘I know that,’ she said bitterly.

  ‘Your opinion of me isn’t very high, is it?’ he asked tautly.

  Farrah kept her eyes averted, knowing that to look at him would be her undoing. She loved him, how could her opinion of him not be high! ‘Did you ever doubt it?’ Her words were stiff and stilted.

  ‘I guess not,’ he replied wearily.

  * * *

  After all that had happened to her over the weekend she was surprised that she could go to work so calmly on Monday morning. She and Joel had parted very badly the morning before, and if she were really his girl-friend she would have doubted that she would ever see him again. But as the situation stood between them she knew Joel would be in touch during the next couple of days. Nigel had rung her the evening before and reluctantly she had agreed to meet him for coffee this evening in a back-street café they frequented.

  Angie called her into her office later that day and Farrah wondered what she had done wrong. Angie was a busy woman, with a tight schedule, and she didn’t waste time lightly. A woman in her mid-forties, she managed to look much younger, her blonde wavy hair perfectly styled and her face beautifully made up. Farrah had always found her a friendly easy-going boss, but she didn’t look too happy at the moment.

  Her office was sectioned off from the main department and Farrah shut the door behind her at Angie’s request. ‘Sit down, Farrah,’ she said in her soothing well-modulated voice, waiting until Farrah had complied before continuing. ‘I’m sure you can guess what I want to talk to you about.’

  Farrah blushed, beginning to look uncomfortable. She had thought Anglie wanted to talk to her about her work, but her opening words implied otherwise. ‘I think so,’ came her husky reply.

  ‘I don’t usually interfere in the private lives of my girls, what you do out of work is your own affair. But this time it’s different, your private life is overlapping your working one. I didn’t believe it at first, but as Mr Falcone never comes down here but prefers me to go to his office, I can only believe that your working here prompted his appearance in the department.’

  ‘He said he had to see you about something,’ Farrah mumbled miserably.

  Angie smiled. ‘Oh, he did, but like I said, I usually go to him. The girls are completely in awe of the whole thing, and I must say I’m a little astonished myself. The bosses have never made any secret of the fact that they have one of these “modern” relationships, sexual freedom and all that, but I have never before known his attention to linger on one of his employees. What I’m really trying to say, Farrah, is that Mr Falcone isn’t the constant type, and things could be pretty awkward for you here when your—relationship is over.’

  ‘I realise that. If it gets too bad I’ll just have to leave.’ Farrah had already faced the fact that this was a strong possibility, but perhaps she needed the change anyway. With this experience of working on a magazine behind her, she would probably be able to get a junior reporter job, something she had always wanted to do.

  ‘Your father works here too, Farrah, it isn’t only you who’s involved. I always thought you were one of my more sensible girls, but this business with Mr Falcone is completely out of character.’ A puzzled frown marred Angie’s creamy brow.

  At last someone had realised that! Farrah definitely wasn’t the sort of girl to have a promiscuous affair, even if she loved the man involved as she did Joel. The pain and agony of parting wouldn’t be compensated for in the brief time the affair lasted. ‘You can’t dictate these things,’ she said slowly. ‘It just happened.’

  ‘But you must admit it does make things awkward?’ Angie watched her nod of confirmation. ‘If I put your name forward now for transfer everyone will assume it’s because of your relationship with Joel, which it wouldn’t be. I have never considered personal relationships when dealing with my work and the people I work with.’

  ‘Does that mean …?’

  ‘That I was considering transferring you?’ Angie finished for her. ‘I wasn’t just considering it, Farrah, it was a certainty.’

  ‘Was?’ she echoed, with a feeling of dread.

  Angie nodded. ‘I’m afraid so. I hadn’t forgotten that’s what you wanted to do, and patience often brings its own rewards. I had in actual fact already made tentative enquiries about getting you transferred to one of the newspaper sections. This business with Mr Falcone has put paid to that, I’m afraid. Everyone may consider it a bonus to have you in their section at the moment, but once the affair cools it will be a different proposition. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?’

  ‘That my involvement with Joel has ruined my career,’ Farrah said dully.

  ‘I’m afraid for the moment it has, yes.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘I just don’t understand you, Farrah. Granted, Joel Falcone is a good-looking devil, but then devil just about fits him. He’s a hard, ruthless man.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘And yet it makes no difference?’ Angie asked sympathetically.

  ‘None at all.’ How could it, when she had no say in the matter.

  Angie sighed. ‘Oh well, I tried. I feel slightly responsible for you with the recent loss of your mother, but I can’t live your life for you. You have to make your own decisions and consequently take responsibility for your own mistakes.’

  ‘I’m sorry you feel I’ve let you down.’ Farrah felt quite guilty now, about something that wasn’t her fault. Joel had warned her this wasn’t going to be pleasant, and now she was beginning to see just how unpleasant it could be. Already she had had a face-to-face encounter with his mistress, and now it was starting to affect her day-to-day living, namely her work.

  ‘I think you’ve let yourself down, Farrah, not me. But as I’ve said, you have to make your own decisions, and at the moment you feel you’re making the right one. I’ve had my say, I won’t mention it again. Unless it affects the department,’ Angie added darkly.

  Farrah was conscious of the other girls in the office looking at her as she walked back to her desk, all of them probably wondering what had taken place in the office just now. Well, she wasn’t going to tell them.

  Her father was much more his jovial self that evening, talking animatedly about the day’s happenings. She could at least feel happy for him, even if her own day hadn’t turned out so good. Joel hadn’t called her at all and in a way she felt relieved. If he had wanted to meet her this evening she would have had to refuse him, and she didn’t think he would appreciate her wanting to meet Nigel. Oh, damn the man! He had already upset her career, why should she allow him to interfere in her social life too?

  Things had been progressing very nicely with Nigel until the advent of Joel Falcone into her life. But she had no doubt that if this thing did become public, Nigel wouldn’t be waiting for her at the end of it. Why should he? He too had a career to think about, and he too worked for the Falcone organisation.

  The two of them had met in the canteen one day, when Nigel had come over from one of the Falcone newspaper sections to discuss an article with Joel that he was working on. His over-long hair and casual, almost scruffy appearance had marked him as a man who wouldn’t conform. At twenty-six, seven years Farrah’s senior, Nigel had grown up in an age where long hair was normal, and he saw no reason to change
his appearance to suit other people. Fortunately he was good at his job, and it was recognised that occasionally his appearance helped him get a story that otherwise might never have come to light.

  Despite his appearance Nigel had instantly made a hit with her mother and father, and he had been of great strength to her during the last weeks of her mother’s illness. They had been dating casually for three months now, and during the last few weeks Farrah had started to think it might develop into something more serious, but not now. She had learnt during the last few days that for her love wouldn’t grow gradually, but had come suddenly and swiftly—and with completely the wrong man.

  Nigel called for her at eight-thirty, and she couldn’t miss the look of relieved pleasure that passed over her father’s face. Poor Daddy, he was so concerned over this friendship with Joel Falcone. If he only knew, it was all for him!

  ‘What happened to you over the weekend?’ Nigel sat down opposite her in the café where a lot of their friends gathered, pushing over her preferred strawberry milk-shake to his coffee.

  ‘I went to see Beth.’ She evaded his eyes. Nigel wasn’t stupid, and working at the Falcone organisation he was bound to hear rumours sooner or later. Her poor father had been plagued with guarded but obvious questions all day, and he hadn’t taken kindly to it. A lot of people knew she and Nigel had been dating the last few months, and she felt sure he would soon have his fair share of questions from curious people.

  ‘Enjoy yourself?’ He watched her over the rim of his cup. His eyes were blue, like Joel’s, and yet that was where the similarity ended. Nigel’s were a lighter blue and what she called smiling eyes, and Joel’s were deep fathoms she could almost drown in, enigmatic eyes that gave nothing away, and weren’t intended to. Joel was an altogether enigmatic man, and it was through choice.

  ‘Yes, thank you,’ she replied stiltedly.

  ‘And where did you go on Thursday? It’s almost a week since I saw you.’

  ‘I—er—I—’

  ‘You had another date, huh?’ Nigel watched her closely.

  ‘Would you mind if I had?’ Farrah rested her elbows on the table, watching his reaction to her question closely. He didn’t appear to be annoyed, but she knew he could be as straight-faced as Joel when he chose.