“Then we talked for a little bit where he pretty much told me he liked me and then Evangeline…”
“That whore!”
“Basically. Well she interrupted us, so I left. And then…”
“Please tell me this is where he swept in and kissed you senseless?”
“That is exactly what he did. When I turned to my name being called, he swooped in and landed the most perfect set of lips on mine and made me forget about everything else but him. It was amazing.” I gushed. Even thinking about it now has me swooning and craving for another kiss from Austin.
“Then what happened?”
“We pretty much just talked and kissed the rest of the night. It was almost like a dream. I just can’t believe it’s my dream.”
“I told you he liked you, Makayla.”
“I know. I just didn’t think it could be true.”
“Your and Austin’s relationship is the talk of the school right now.” I groan in embarrassment. I hate being the center of attention.
“Yeah. I figured. Bobby, I’ll see you tomorrow and we can talk more then. I have to get ready for work.” I don’t have to work until tonight, but I need time to process.
“Fine, fine. This conversation isn’t over though. I’ll see you tomorrow.” We hang up and I go about getting ready for work even though I don’t have to be in for another three hours. Sitting around thinking about my new relationship is great, but if I think too hard about it, I may start to imagine worst case scenarios like Austin dating me for ulterior motives such as winning a bet like in that movie, ‘She’s All That’.
“Kayla,” my dad calls from the living room.
“Coming.”
Taking one last look at myself in my bedroom mirror, I head out to where my dad is pacing the living room. “Yeah?”
Whirling around to stare at me, Levi’s eyebrows wrinkle in concentration.
“Are you and that boy dating?”
“Austin?”
“The boy who picked you up last night.”
“That’s Austin, and yes we are now.”
“Ok. Rules.” I knew this was coming but I would have expected him to say something last night. I will never quite understand parenting.
“There will be no sleepovers, no sex, no kissing, no touching, no…”
“Dad. You can’t possibly expect me to never kiss him.” The incredulity in my tone has my father pausing for a brief moment.
“Ok, ok. Fine. Kissing is fine if it’s only a peck on the lips and nothing more.” Walking up to my dad with a giant grin on my face, I wrap my arms around him as he does the same.
“Dad. You can trust me. I promise I will not betray it. No sex, sleepovers, or anything unsavory. I promise. We just started dating and I have no plans of moving faster than a snail’s pace. Besides, I thought you liked Austin? You seemed to be perfectly ok with him carrying me caveman style out of the house last night.”
Sighing, dad replies. “I do like him. I’m friends with his parents and as you know, everyone knows everyone in this small town. But I wouldn’t be a father if I didn’t worry about you and his intentions.”
“I’m pretty sure his intentions are honorable and even if they weren’t, I’m not ready for more than kissing and dating.”
“Alright. But if he hurts you, he will deal with me.”
“He won’t,” dad raises a brow, “but if he does you have full permission to go hunting with him.”
“Be careful, Kayla. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“I’ll be fine, dad. I’ll see you later. I have to go to work.”
****
“Hey beautiful.” Loading my books into my locker Monday morning, Austin startles me whispering ‘beautiful’ in my ear and wrapping his arms around my waist. Spinning around slowly to face him, I briefly wondered if our new status was just a dream I conjured up. It’s not until Austin slips a soft kiss to my lips that I realize this is real and I am really Austin’s girlfriend.
“Hi boyfriend.” Smiling dazedly as I stare into his honey colored eyes, I can’t help but stare at this beautiful man.
“Walk you to class?” Just then, the bell signals the five-minute warning to get to class.
“Sure.” Even if I had said no, I have a feeling Austin would still walk me to class.
“Now that you finally said yes to being my girlfriend, how about we go on a real date.”
“We don’t have to.”
“I want to. Let me take you out this weekend for the day. How about we go on Saturday?”
“I work in the morning Saturday, so any time after two I’m free.”
“I’ll pick you up at two. Then we can go to the dance afterwards.” I’m shocked into silence forgetting completely about the fact that the homecoming game is this Friday and the dance is Saturday. I need to talk to Bobby and see if she is ok with this change in plans because I would hate to hurt her.
As Austin guides me through the maze of students, I notice quite a few gawks at us, but I do my best to ignore them. Maybe they are wondering why Austin is with me, a plain Jane. I would be wondering the same thing, too.
“See you at lunch.” Austin leans down and kisses the side of my head before hurrying off to his class a few doors down while I step into mine just as the bell rings. Bobby is already at her desk bouncing excitedly as she waits for me to take my seat.
“That was so sweet!” Bobby whisper’s gushingly.
“We have plans for Saturday.”
“Yay. What are they?”
“I have no idea. Austin just said he wanted to take me out on a real date and Saturday is our date. He didn’t tell me anything else.”
“I bet it will be perfect.” We grin at each other before turning our attention to the teacher speaking at the front of the class about our assignments for class.
During each class, students whom I rarely spoke to wave their hello’s or chat to me as if we are old friends, making me feel like I’m in the twilight zone. All of this attention because I am dating Austin is a little overwhelming and I have no idea how to act or what to say to these kids that I’ve barely spoken two words too. By the time lunch arrives, my relief is evident because not only will I get to see Austin, maybe he could help field the questions and attention off of me.
Taking a seat at my usual table, the students I’ve become friends with look at me as if I grew a second head.
“Why are you all staring at me like that?”
“You’re dating Austin, so we figured you’d be sitting at his table” One of the girls, Lisa, answers.
“Oh. I guess I hadn’t considered that he’d want to sit with his friends.”
“Makayla.” Hearing my name, I turn to see Austin standing behind me. I love hearing him say my name in that southern deep drawl.
“Hey. Um, did you want to sit here or with your friends?”
“We could sit here. I don’t mind.” Scooting over to make room at the end of the table, Austin slides in and pulls my hand under the table with his, entwining our fingers together. His hand dwarfs mine, yet I feel safe and comfortable with this tiny gesture of affection.
“I have been researching Universities all over the US the entire weekend. Who knew picking universities could be so tiring?” Austin begins to smother his sub sandwich in mustard as he speaks.
“Have you settled on a school or do you have your favorites?”
“Sort of. I wanted to stay close, or at least in visiting distance. The coach is having a few universities come check me out and see if they want me. Maybe get a full ride. I guess he’s friends with a few of the university coaches here in Texas and at the same school my brother plays at in Florida. What colleges were you thinking of attending?”
I hadn’t even considered that we’d be leaving for college when I became Austin’s girlfriend. What will happen when we graduate and go off to college? Do I follow him to wherever he goes? Does he follow me? Do we break up and go our separate ways? Just thinking about these questions
has me questioning our relationship and it only just started.
“Whoa. Are you ok, Makayla?” Austin lays a hand on my shoulder staring at my face in concern. My worry must have shown and now I feel bad he saw my mental break down.
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m ok. I was just wondering, if we are still together, what happens when we graduate and head off to college? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.” I want to pull away before we get in this too deep. I can already see the future and heartbreak that will become inevitable for us.
“Kayla, look at me.” It takes me a beat before my eyes meet his concerned stare.
“No matter what, we will be fine. We can figure it out when the time comes, ok? We have months before we need to decide. There’s no reason to panic.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m positive.”
“This whole relationship stuff is new to me that I have no idea how to go about navigating through it all.”
“We can figure it out together. I didn’t want you to be my girlfriend just for a little while. I wanted you to be my girlfriend because I really like you and want more for us. I don’t give up easily, especially with something I truly want.”
My mini freak out slowly begins to fade when I realize I’m acting completely crazy. Of course, we have time to figure this out. And anyways, who says by then Austin will still want to be with me? It’s said that high school sweethearts rarely make it past graduation and even less after college so maybe there won’t be anything to worry about.
“Let’s scratch the college talk and find something else to talk about.” Austin suggests, and I nod in agreement. Taking a bite of my burger I try to come up with a good question to ask Austin, but he beats me to it.
“Tell me about back home. Before you came here.” Swallowing the tight ball that clogs my throat with pain, I try to think of something other than the fact that my mother died. Austin must see the pain on my face because he leans in and kisses the side of my head, bringing instant comfort to my aching heart.
“What’s your favorite food?” Austin changes the subject and I laugh despite the hurt I feel when remembering my mom and answer Austin’s original question.
“I have no idea what college I want to go to now that I’ve moved here with my dad. When I lived in California with my mom before she…before she died, we had it all planned out with a list of colleges I wanted to apply to, but everything has changed.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I can wait until you’re ready if it’s too much.”
“No, it’s ok.” Pausing to take a deep breath I continue. “I have a best friend back in California. She’s a lot like Bobby, and I miss her and her mom so much. They were like family.”
“I hope I get to meet her.”
“Yeah. She wants to meet you too. She’ll be here for Thanksgiving break, so you can meet her then. I have a feeling you both will really like each other.” Bobby arrives and takes a seat next to me and pipes in.
“Who are we meeting?”
“My best friend in California, Lacy, is coming Thanksgiving break.”
“Oh. Cool. We can plan a girl’s night when she gets here.” This is what I love about Bobby. She is so easy to get along with and she is generally a good person. The fact that she wants to befriend my best friend says so much about her character and I feel so grateful that she is my other best friend.
“Sounds good.”
“Is girls night code for pillow fights and boy talk?” Beau pipes in from behind us.
“Boy talk, yes. Pillow fights, no. We’ll talk boys, do our nails, and cast spells against our enemies while conjuring up spirits with a Ouija board.” Bobby retorts with a straight face.
“Wow. I do not want to be a part of your girl’s night. That sounds like a story straight out a horror movie.” Beau shivers in mock horror.
“So, you guys finally gave in and are now officially a couple. Congrats. It’s about time you grew some balls. I was getting real tired of hearing these two wonder about your true feelings for Makayla.” Feeling the heat creep up my neck I wish for someone to smack Beau and shut him up.
“You guys talked about me?” The knowing grin that lights up Austin’s face tampers my embarrassment only slightly.
“A little.” I mumble out.
“A little? More like all the time. These two couldn’t shut up…Owe!” Bobby punches Beau in the stomach shutting him up instantly.
“Ok, a lot. They swore you liked me and I thought they were crazy. Who knew crazy was right.”
“Why didn’t you think I liked you? I thought it was obvious.”
“Not really. At least to me it wasn’t obvious. To them it was but I kept thinking that either you were messing with my head or I was imagining things that weren’t true. I didn’t truly believe you liked me, so I thought maybe I was reading too much into some of the looks you gave me and words you said.”
“Well now there is no question. I like you Makayla, and I’d be willing to shout it to the world.” Austin rises from his seat and stands on top of the table before shouting for everyone to hear.
“Attention everyone. I just wanted to tell you all that I am extremely grateful to call this beautiful woman, Makayla Fitzgerald, my girlfriend.” Tugging on the bottom of Austin’s shirt, I try to pull him down while hiding my face from everyone, so they can’t see my huge smile and evident embarrassment by Austin’s declaration. All the while as I try to hide, Bobby and Beau are grinning and laughing in exuberance.
“Austin, get down here. You’re crazy!” Whisper shouting at at Austin to gain his attention, he hops down grinning like a man who owns the world. I laugh despite my embarrassment. I hate the attention he brought on us but knowing that he want’s everyone to know I’m his girl causes my heart to soar in elation.
“You’re beautiful, Makayla and I meant what I said. I am extremely happy that you’re my girl.” The bell ending lunch interrupts the moment, but I don’t care. His words mean the world to me. Pulling his head down to mine as I stretch on my tiptoes, I have no words to express how I feel, only the all-consuming need to kiss this man to see if he’s real or a dream. Whistles and catcalls echo around us breaking our moment.
“Let’s get to class. We can talk more later.” I nod my head to Austin before sliding my hand in his as he leads me to our fifth period class. Bobby and Beau follow behind us whispering to each other and snickering about whatever was said. Having my friend’s close and my boyfriend even closer feels perfect.
Chapter 16
And I’d choose you;
in a hundred lifetimes,
in a hundred worlds,
in any version of reality,
I’d find you and
I’d choose you.
-The Chaos of Stars-
“I have an older brother who is going to Florida State on a football scholarship. I think you’d like him. I have no doubt he’d love you.”
“What about your parents? What are they like?” Austin and I decided to sit at the diner and drink shakes after school before having to go home and do homework. We are using this time to get to know each other some more. It feels easy to talk to him, which is surprising because I expected to be nervous with this time alone. We haven’t had much time to ourselves, always having our friends around us, and even with the crowd of customers that surround us, it still feels as if it’s just Austin and me.
“They are amazing and a little crazy. They love to have Sunday family dinners, family game night every Wednesday, they go to every football game of mine no matter if it’s home or away, and every night they ask me about school.”
“That doesn’t sound so crazy. It sounds nice actually.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, it’s just that a lot of the families I hear about are less invasive in their kids’ lives.”
“My mom and I used to do everything together. She was my best friend, even more so than Lacy. Every week we had one night that we carved out to go out to eat
with my best friend and her mom just to catch up. Every Sunday we ate at the same diner, just her and I, and caught up on everything we forgot to mention during the week. We made plans for the future, shopped together, borrowed each other’s clothes, and never kept any secrets from each other.” I pause thinking about the only secret my mom ever kept from me. “Well, aside from my father, we didn’t have any secrets.”
“She sounds amazing, Makayla.” Grasping both my hands in his, Austin rubs his thumb over mine and waits for me to continue.
“She was. It’s been hard trying to move on without her here to turn to when I need someone to confide in. I miss her.” Wiping my eyes of their tears, I try to change the subject to keep from weeping in front of Austin.
“What colleges did you want to go to?” Even though we tried to steer the conversation away earlier from this topic, I am truly interested in where Austin wants to go to school.
“I was looking into USC, Florida State, University of Texas in Austin, University of Tennessee, and a few other ones. I have stacks and stacks of brochures; I must decide which ones are my top choices. That’s the hard part because there are so many of them that look and sound great. Plus, I need to see which colleges are going to offer me a full ride.”
“I could understand that. Mom and I made a list of pros’ and cons for the colleges we were interested in me attending. But now that she’s not here, all of my top choices are moot. She was the sole factor in where I wanted to go. I was planning to stay in California, so we could be close but now, I have no idea where I want to go. Do I stay close to my dad and new family, or go back to be near my best friend, or do I go someplace completely new and start over again?”
“You’ll figure it out. In your heart you’ll know.” Austin’s assurance calms my worries, but I know when it comes time to fill out those applications, I am going to be a mess.
“How do you like being here?” I knew eventually he would ask me this, but it’s difficult to articulate how I feel because I’m not even sure how to feel.
“I really don’t know. I love the friends I’ve made, and the new experiences I’ve had. My dad and family are great, but it’s all new and scary. I’m not where I expected to be at this point in my life. If my mom hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be here at all. In some ways I feel it’s tainted by her death, and in others, I feel grateful for this new experience and life. And then there’s you.”
Counting Goodbyes Page 16