by Bronwyn Sell
‘A crush, huh? And I am not running. But I do have a boat to catch.’ He headed for the exit, literally and metaphorically. ‘Bye, little cousie. Enjoy the dancing. And the whatever else.’
‘Nothing is going to happen apart from me being the perfect little sister-figure,’ she said, jogging alongside him as he stepped out the main doors into warm sunshine.
‘Hold your fire. You’re my perfect little sister-figure. He can find his own.’
‘He thinks he has. He used those exact words to describe me—perfect little sister. And you have a real little sister.’
‘He can have Lena and I can have you.’ He stopped dead a second. ‘No, that sounds really wrong.’
‘You see how quickly this all gets icky?’ Amy said, following him down the path to the jetty. ‘But maybe if I try hard enough, I can find him as unattractive as I find you.’
‘Cheers. Thanks.’
‘You know what I mean. And you wouldn’t swap Lena for anyone. You wouldn’t even swap Cody.’
‘Try me.’ Harry pulled his sunglasses off his T-shirt and slipped them on. The boat hooted and he upped his pace. ‘You’re supposed to loathe your siblings. It’s nature’s way of protecting the gene pool. You and Carmen are an aberration.’
‘Carmen is evil.’
‘Ah-ha. You see?’ He spun, walking backward, and pointed a finger at her. ‘Be strong, now, Aims. But remember, you’re a grown woman, he’s a grown man.’
‘Shut up and run away or I’ll tell your crush on you.’
‘And I’ll tell your crush on you.’ His sneakers squeaked on the wood of the jetty. The skipper blew the horn again.
‘Harry, there are enough people on this island trying to shove Josh and me together—actually, that’s only Carmen and maybe Nan—or keep us apart—that’s everybody else, including me. Don’t you start.’
‘And where does Josh stand in this push–pull thing?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, running now to keep up. ‘We’ve had some weird moments where I’ve been sure he’s … I don’t think I’m misreading it, but I’ve been wrong before on this kind of thing.’
‘I’m hearing you on the weird.’ He reached the pontoon at the end of the jetty and stepped onto the boat just as the deckhand cast off. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. But definitely don’t do anything Cody would do.’
‘That covers the two extremities of the options but doesn’t help with the grey stuff in between,’ she called as the boat pulled away. ‘Have a nice break from paradise, coward.’
‘Have a good time denying the obvious,’ he shouted back.
‘Like cousin, like cousin.’
He laughed and mock-saluted. He wasn’t denying anything, not anymore. There was clearly chemistry between him and Sophia. That part was simple, though it wasn’t until the kiss last night that he’d realised he’d got in too deep. He was just denying himself the opportunity to act on it, because neither of them needed that. He was walking away—sailing away, motoring away, but definitely not running—and he was doing it because he respected her.
And despite what Cody thought, that wasn’t a bad thing.
Trip Review: Curlew Bay
Rating:
Review: The ocean wasn’t turquoise like on the website. Mostly just grey and green. And it rained a lot. They must have filtered their photos. False advertising.
21
Amy
On the day before the wedding, Amy glided into her 157th (approximately) upward dog of the week, squinting into the sun just peeping over the hill, tallying the gains and losses of the previous days.
Somehow, while sharing an apartment with Josh, she’d made it this far without confessing her feelings to him in a drunken or otherwise state, or being caught in circumstances that left them alone together (or with Carmen, who would immediately find a cringingly transparent excuse to leave). Amy was also strenuously avoiding any states of nakedness or near-nakedness, including those involving swimwear or nightwear. Though, to be fair, she and Josh could be wearing spacesuits and she’d still be feeling it—yes, The Pull, yes, stronger than ever.
Sigh.
She’d gone to such extremes to avoid being alone with Josh that she’d been getting up at dawn to do her mum’s yoga classes on the pretext of limbering up for dancing, as well as forcing herself onto Carmen and insisting on taking jobs like stocktaking table settings and printing menus, and playing endless games of shop with Mika, for whom department stores and supermarkets had the novelty factor of theme parks, while insisting every dance rehearsal was a full-team event. She’d also made sure she and Josh never left dinner or drinks at the same time each evening, even if that meant waiting until she was the last woman standing. One night, she’d realised they were about to be the last two people standing, so she’d scurried back to the apartment while he was in the pavilion bathroom and claimed the next day she’d thought he’d left without her, and what cheek!
She yawned as she settled into swan pose, her hips aching at all the attention they’d received in the last week—from yoga and dancing and that was definitely all. Caught by the onshore breeze, a palm frond rhythmically swiped the shade sail above the beachside yoga platform, swishing like a drum brush.
And yes, her strategy had worked in the sense that it had prevented her from jumping her stepbrother, but it had bombed in that she was still spending way too much time with him to hit the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ gong, while the ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ gong was in no danger of gonging anytime soon. In fact, she’d steadily become more besotted, and she was sure (but not sure) he was equally confused. Several times she’d sensed him watching her and had turned and caught him out, but she was now following the example of her eldest cousin—deny, deny, deny and, if necessary, run.
As Rosa talked the class into mermaid, Amy lay face-down on the mat with her arms at her sides. Time for some bow poses, to strengthen up for the lift. She raised her legs and arms, thinking straight and long, trying to imagine that only her belly button touched the floor, trying not to imagine Josh’s hands anchored across her hips.
After the welcome but way too short-lived escape into meditation, she rolled the mat and returned it with the blocks to Rosa’s storage trunk beside the platform.
‘Breakfast?’ Sophia came up alongside, tying her mat.
One bonus—Harry’s crush had become her yoga and breakfast buddy, which meant Sophia unwittingly ran obstruction by ensuring Amy wasn’t left alone with Josh for the first couple of hours of each day.
‘Not today, sorry,’ Amy said. ‘I have to go straight to a wedding dance rehearsal at Gurrawang Bay. But I’ll walk with you to the pavilion.’
‘Sure. Gurrawang Bay is the one with the ospreys, isn’t it?’
‘That’s the one,’ Amy said as they stepped onto the boardwalk in the direction of the pavilion. ‘My cousin Harry’s coming back today.’
Sophia’s cheek twitched. ‘And you’re telling me this why?’
‘And you’re asking me why I’m telling you this why?’
Sophia laughed. She knew perfectly well why Amy had brought it up. So much denial. True to her promise to Harry, Amy had played dumb on whatever was or wasn’t going on between him and Sophia. Wasn’t, seeing as Harry wasn’t even there, and had apparently caught up with an old girlfriend on the mainland. But maybe something had happened before he left, which wouldn’t be a bad thing, even if the timing was atrocious. Sophia was cool and funny and smart, in a cynical, worldly way. Amy might be in awe of her confidence. She was hurting, sure. Anyone could see that, especially Amy, who saw her first thing in the mornings, when her eyes were the tiniest bit sunken from sleeplessness or maybe tears. Not that Amy could imagine her crying. But she was also together. She had this serene ease. If she was this cool when her heart was breaking, she’d be a force when it was repaired, like that Japanese philosophy that a plate that had shattered and been glued was stronger than a new one. What kind of doofus walked away from
a woman like that? And two in one month?
Timing aside, Sophia and Harry would be perfect, but also perfectly wrong. Sophia was metropolitan sophistication, from her balayaged hair to her shellacked toenails. Whether she was in yoga gear or floaty dresses or a bikini, she seemed ethereal against the island backdrop. She wasn’t classically pretty. If you studied her features in isolation, you’d find imperfections and asymmetry and a long nose, not that Amy was in any place to judge. But every part of her looked like it was actively maintained by a professional—her gym-sculpted arms, her white teeth, her lightly tanned skin that was hairless in all the right places, her summery hairstyle, her defined brows and dark lashes, her manicure and pedicure, her suspiciously smooth forehead. The after picture in a makeover. And yet she didn’t seem high maintenance, maybe because Amy couldn’t detect a dot of makeup on her and she hadn’t once mentioned her appearance. She might not have what the magazines called a bikini body—though Amy firmly believed that any body in a bikini was a bikini body—but, unlike Amy, she made no negative comments about herself and didn’t try to cover up with a sarong. She’d inspired Amy to make a silent vow to be more accepting of her own imperfect body. What was that saying? Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can, and be wise enough to know the difference?
Amy had also kept tabs on Cody, though Harry, as always, didn’t give his brother enough credit. Cody might act like an alpha playboy but he was loyal to the death and would never hit on his brother’s crush.
‘When are you flying back to Sydney?’ Amy asked.
‘Not for another week.’
‘Why don’t you come to Gurrawang Bay this morning? We’re rehearsing our wedding dance number, but there are lovely spots to sit and read, and it’s a good swimming beach.’ Sophia didn’t need to know that straight after the rehearsal Amy was driving to Mischief Bay to collect Harry, who was catching a ride there on a military boat.
‘I’d love to, thank you, if I won’t be intruding.’
‘The more the merrier!’
Sophia looked at her quizzically. So she might have sounded a little too enthusiastic. She hadn’t told Sophia anything about Josh—not that there was anything to tell, thanks to the careful manoeuvring. It was way easier to remain in denial if you didn’t confess to anything.
‘I’ll have to check with your nan,’ Sophia said. ‘I got a message delivered to me this morning from her, asking for a favour.’
‘A favour?’ Who was Nan trying to matchmake Sophia with?
‘I don’t know what. She said she’d see me at breakfast.’
‘Curiouser and curiouser.’
As they walked up the steps to the deck and entered the pavilion, Amy resisted the urge to scan the room. Even so, her peripheral vision—or maybe just her personal chest magnet—had Josh pinpointed in a second, sitting at an inside table with Carmen and Mika. He was wearing his light blue T-shirt with the red star. She rubbed the centre of her breastbone. Hook pulse and temperature monitors to her and she could be the subject of some doctorate research on the physical manifestations of attraction. How many calories did attraction burn?
‘Hey, roomie,’ Josh said as they neared the table, ‘you just missed the dads.’
‘Our dad had an appointment with Jaz at the beauty spa,’ Carmen said, wiping something green off Mika’s mouth that might be a kale and spinach smoothie. ‘He was about to tell me what for before I put my fingers in my ears.’
‘I wasn’t so quick,’ Josh said, pushing his plate away. ‘So, last team practice this morning?’
‘Sorry, I meant to tell you that Mika and I can’t make it,’ Carmen said. ‘I have to go over the menu for tomorrow with the kitchen team.’
Minx, Amy said with her eyes. Carmen had settled the menu weeks ago. ‘No problem,’ Amy said. ‘Mum and Viggo are coming.’
Carmen stood, brushing down her navy uniform shorts. ‘Oh no, didn’t she tell you? She’s looking after a TV ad crew this morning. They’re filming at Stingray. A last-minute relocation from Daydream. And Viggo needs to catch up with work emails so it’ll be just you and Josh. But that’s good, because you need to get your confidence up without a spotter.’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll be good for a spotter,’ Amy said. I see your ploy and raise you a spoiler. ‘Sophia’s coming.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since five minutes ago.’
‘Yes, well about that …’ Carmen began, her lipsticked grin indicating she was about to lay down a trio of aces. Amy’s stomach clonked down to the wooden floor. ‘Sophia,’ Carmen said, swivelling, ‘Nan is wondering if you can do us a favour.’ To Sophia’s evident surprise, Carmen linked arms with her. ‘Harry called this morning to say the boat is coming into Mischief Bay earlier than expected, and he needs to be picked up shortly. With everyone else so busy, she’s wondering if you’d do it.’
‘Begging, actually,’ Nan corrected, sailing past. Sophia flinched. By the time she turned, Nan had gone again, the doors to reception sliding closed.
Carmen patted Sophia’s hand. ‘Harry needs to drop by the old homestead above Juno Beach on the way back, but he says he won’t be there long, so if you don’t mind waiting?’
‘But Sophia’s a guest!’ Amy said. ‘And I’m already picking him up.’
Carmen smiled sweetly. ‘You need to practise. Josh was just telling me he doesn’t feel confident with the lift yet, and we can’t change the choreography now. Sophia can drop you two off at Gurrawang Bay and then go straight to get Harry. I’ll come and pick you up later. Perfect!’
‘Better idea,’ Amy said. ‘All three of us go to pick up Harry, then stop in at the homestead, and Josh and I can practise there while he does his thing. We’d be back here well before lunch.’ A double date, yes, but that was a vast improvement on a single date.
‘Uh, no you can’t. No time. I’ll need you back earlier than that.’ Carmen reached into her bag and pulled out a sheet of paper. ‘Here’s your final schedule for today and tomorrow.’ She pulled out another. ‘And here’s yours, Josh. You’ll see this is the only way.’
Amy took her schedule and flicked through it. It was timed to the minute. And just how many of her minutes were designed to coincide with Josh’s minutes?
Josh gave a low whistle, flipping to the third page of his. ‘There are toilet breaks scheduled into this.’
‘You can never be too organised!’
‘There are two wedding rehearsals.’
‘One’s for the reception—that’s over lunch today—and one’s for the ceremony, before dinner.’ Carmen produced a set of car keys and handed it to Sophia. ‘Thank you so much, Sophia, it’s a huge help.’ She hoisted Mika onto her hip and strode out to reception. ‘Harry’s ute is parked outside,’ she called back. ‘Grab a breakfast pack to go. They’re in the kitchen with your names on them.’
Amy, Sophia and Josh stood still for a moment, watching the glass doors close behind Carmen and Mika, who was waving a chubby paw. Amy waved back weakly.
They had all been played.
22
Within half an hour, Amy and Josh stood on the grassy bank at Gurrawang Bay, a backpack at their feet, watching the turquoise ute bump away up the track.
‘Uh,’ Josh said, scanning his schedule, ‘it says we’re here for two hours. Is that a misprint?’
Amy read over his shoulder. ‘So it does.’
It was way more time than they needed, which Carmen would know. The choreography had evolved so that Josh only appeared near the end of ‘(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life’, magically emerging from the crowd and acting surprised as she flew toward him, so the ensuing lift seemed unplanned and spontaneous, with Harry and Cody acting as spotters while looking like they’d been casually hanging around. After that, they were all abandoning their partners to pull in other guests to dance (Amy’s brilliant idea) as the medley segued into the next song.
‘Where shall we start?’ Josh said, folding the itinerary and sliding it into
a backpack pocket.
Amy rubbed her belly, which had gone all fluttery. This was the first time she and Josh had been alone together since they’d walked back from the bachelors party.
‘By trying to wave down Sophia?’ Amy said as the ute disappeared over the hill. No mobile coverage. No wi-fi. Short of smoke signals or writing ‘S.O.S.’ on the sand, they were stuck.
‘It’s not so bad, is it?’ Josh sounded offended. ‘We get out of wedding prep and get to hang out in paradise. Let’s get this over with so we can chill and have a swim.’ He walked to the edge of the grassy bank and jumped onto the soft sand. ‘Down at the water’s edge, where the sand’s flatter?’
After a few seconds’ hesitation, Amy followed. Out to the southwest, a charcoal-blue squall was rolling in, blotting out the national park on the mainland, while in the foreground, the bay glowed lurid turquoise. She and Josh could roll around kissing in the shallows and it’d be the full From Here to Eternity.
Wait. Didn’t everyone die in that movie?
They decided to first try the lift from a stationary position, to get the balance right, which somehow made the prospect more writhe-worthy because Josh had time to position his hands with more calculation—splayed flat across her boardies.
‘You want your hands to cover as much space between her hips as possible so you’re lifting her evenly across her hip bones,’ Rosa had said a few days ago, placing his hands where no mother should place a man’s hands. But this was Amy’s mum, who had the personal-space filter of a gynaecologist. ‘Don’t grip her around the sides of her hips or her butt. It’s not about using brute strength to hold her in place, but about balance—yours and hers. Because if you lift her like this, your thumbs will press into her ovaries.’ Rosa had moved his hands to the wrong position to demonstrate, and lightly tapped his thumbs over Amy’s ovaries. ‘And I want more grandchildren one day.’
Amy had died a little on the inside.