by Aileen Erin
Finally, Dastien turned to back me. The sunlight shone around him, giving him a glow. A curl slipped free from behind his ear, and he shoved it back. “I think we should finish bonding before Luciana attacks again.”
I licked my lips as I processed his words. I didn’t want to upset him, but he had to be kidding.
“That was the last thing I saw before—” Why would he want to risk it? It was like taking one more step down the road that led straight to both of us dead. He had to be overstressed or he never—ever—would’ve suggested it.
I stood up, swiping my hands down my butt, but then gave up, and started marching off—not even sure where I was going.
“Tessa, wait.”
I spun to him. “No. You wait.” My vision changed everything. Everything. For all we knew, going through with the ceremony now—before we defeated Luciana—was exactly what got us killed. “You talk about changing the future, and that’s what we’re trying to do. Staying away from Orangina is easy enough, but what if I find myself in the conference room? We have no proof that anything has changed. Bonding now could send us straight to our deaths in that church.”
His eyebrows rose as he took in my anger. “I disagree. You’re putting way too much stock in the vision. You can’t let your fear of the future rule your life.”
My breath came in sharp pants, and fur rippled along my arms. Shifting now wasn’t a good idea. We had to talk this through. Which meant that I needed to calm down, but the fear of what might happen was so overwhelming, I could barely think straight. “You don’t get it. I saw you die and it was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. After what happened at the compound, that’s saying something.” My hands shook, I was so scared what might happen. “If we end up there, I’m going to do my best to keep you and everyone else alive, but I won’t do anything that could push us closer to that happening.”
Dastien’s face flashed from pensive to angry to sad. “Non.” He grabbed my shoulders and a burst of power followed his word. “You think that if we end up in the church you’ll have to save me? If we end up there, it will be our responsibility. We can fight better as a team. That’s why everyone is so jealous that we’re True Mates. We’re far more powerful together than we are apart. Remember?”
I’d spent so much time alone that I was used to it. I knew we were a team, but knowing it and being it were two different things. Now doubt niggled at me. What if delaying our bonding was weakening us? “But what if it sets off a chain reaction that ends with you dead? It would be my fault for not stopping it now and then I’d be alone. Without you. I don’t know that I can survive that.”
He drew me against his chest, and his heart thumped steadily. I closed my eyes as I relaxed against him. “There’s always a chance that something could happen to one of us. That’s part of being alive. But none of that will ever be your fault. I didn’t mean to bite you, and I take responsibility for that—but it happened. If I’d done it a different way, could that have changed Luciana’s reaction and everything that happened since? I don’t know, but if I thought that way, it would be easy to say this is all my fault.”
I wanted to argue his logic, but I couldn’t. If I tried to accept blame, then he had some, too, and I didn’t like that. Not one bit.
“Something tells me that Luciana has been going down this road for a very long time, and nothing anyone could’ve done—not you or me—would’ve stopped it.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “No matter what happens, you have to place blame where it belongs. On Luciana. She’s the one who cast the spell on Meredith. Who attacked us. Who drained your powers and murdered her own coven. You didn’t do any of those things. Accepting blame for any of it is crazy.”
“That doesn’t change my mind about bonding. I know you want it—and believe me, I do, too—but we have very compelling reasons why we shouldn’t go through with it right now.”
He cupped my cheek. “Fighting Luciana is going to be hard, especially now. We need everything we can get. Being a full unit, thinking like one, can only help us in a fight.”
“But we’d bonded in the vision, and we still died.”
“Did you see that part happen? You said in the vision that you couldn’t find me for a second. If we were really bonded, you could never lose me.”
Technically, I hadn’t seen us go through with the ceremony. I’d just assumed. We’d been here, on our land. I was wearing white, but maybe it wasn’t what I thought. The only thing I’d really seen was us kissing. “I just assumed since I was in a white dress and you were in khakis and we were here, that it had to be because we were bonding.”
“See. Anything could’ve happened. What if we’d only been here for date? What if we started to bond, but something came up again?” He shook my shoulders. “You’ve got to stop thinking the worst is destined to happen.”
I couldn’t hold his gaze. “I’m scared. Like really, truly terrified.”
“That’s understandable. I’m scared of what might happen when we face Luciana again. But not living our lives because of what might or might not happen? That’s not okay.”
He was totally right. This was crazy, but he was right. Maybe what I saw in the vision was going to happen. Or maybe it wasn’t.
If I cut myself off from him because I was scared, then I wasn’t really living. I was getting by.
And if I really thought about it… If the worst happened, I’d regret not doing this and I’d forever wonder if completing our bond would’ve made a difference.
“Okay,” I whispered the word.
“Yes?” His eyes flashed brighter, glowing amber.
“Okay. Yes.” I said it a little louder this time.
He swept me up, and my feet hovered above the ground as he spun me in circles. I couldn’t help but laugh as the world blurred around me.
When he set me down on my feet, I leaned into him. He cupped my face in his hands. “We’re going to have a long, happy life here. In the house we’re going to build. With the kids we’re going to have. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. We’re going to get through this, and then we’re going to have the most amazing life.”
I sighed as his conviction washed over me. I hoped he was right. I wanted it so badly I could taste it, but we had so much to get through before we got there. It seemed almost impossible.
But none of that changed how I felt about him. “I love you.”
Dastien pressed his forehead against mine. “Je t’aime, mon amour. Toujours.”
Half of me couldn’t believe I was agreeing to this. The other half was one hundred percent, totally all-in. “Okay. Let’s do this. What do we need to do?”
“Let’s go back to campus to avoid any cross-over with the vision. Then we’ll figure out what Lucas and Claudia did, and we’ll do it. Now.”
“Right. Because Luciana could attack tonight.”
“No.”
“No?” Did he know something I didn’t?
“No. If the past few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that life is precious, and I can’t stand wasting another minute. I want to be with you. I want to be your mate. Your husband. Your partner. I want it all. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want something else to come up. I want us to take the time we deserve and do this just for us and no other reason.”
I wasn’t sure how he managed to surprise me… But he had. He took my breath away. I couldn’t even think. Instead of trying to find words that would never say enough, I opened my side of the bond as wide as I could, letting him see exactly how I felt about him.
One of us moved, and suddenly I was kissing him. My fingers in his soft curls. My legs wrapped around his waist. I couldn’t get close enough. I growled as he tugged on my lip. Fire licked through my body and he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. There were no more questions in my mind. As our breath mingled, I knew what I wanted.
“Not one second more.” He panted the words.
I grinned so big my cheeks hurt. “Not one second more.”
No matter what happened, we’d be together. We had some big obstacles in our way, but in that moment, I didn’t care. All I wanted was to be with Dastien.
Chapter Fifteen
We decided to meet in the clearing where the pack meetings were held. That way, there’d be no overlap with my vision. Just because this was happening, didn’t mean that anything else would.
Dastien talked to Lucas while I changed and caught my breath, but we decided it was going to be just us. I was too paranoid that someone would barge in again. The last Full Moon Ceremony hadn’t gone as planned. Not even close.
Instead of the white dress—which I was sure I didn’t own—I put on a pair of jeans and a blue Helio Sequence T-shirt. Dastien had been wearing a similar one the first time we saw each other. It seemed fitting for today. Although anything was better than the Weres’ white ceremonial robes.
According to Lucas, all we had to do was make a promise—an oath laced with magic—and bind it with our blood. The bond would click into place. Just like that.
It seemed so easy—so different from the ceremony of last time—but I didn’t need all that. I didn’t want any of it. If there was one thing I hated, it was being center of attention. Especially these days.
Dastien wanted time to set up something at the pack site, but I was ready and antsy as I paced my room.
Are you ready yet? I asked through the bond. Waiting around was driving me slowly insane.
Go ahead and come. I should be done by the time you get here.
What are you doing? He’d been at it for over an hour.
You’ll see. And no peeking through the bond!
I laughed quietly to myself as I headed out of the dorm. I wanted to be annoyed, but I totally wasn’t. It was really nice that he was going through all this trouble. Although as much as I appreciated the thought, he didn’t have to worry. No matter how it happened, it was going to be special.
Butterflies filled my stomach as I walked across campus and made my way into the forest. I passed a few Cazadores and some classmates along the way, but I didn’t really see them. If they said hello, I didn’t hear them. I was focused on where I was going. This was it.
I smelled the fire first. The cedar gave a spice to the air that I loved. I breathed it in deep as I wove through the trees. The sun would be setting soon, but for now, the sunlight cut through the leaves.
When I got to the pack circle, Dastien stood in front of the fire. A thick blue blanket was spread under his bare feet. A picnic basket sat to the side of the blanket, and more blankets and pillows were piled on top. He wore his usual worn-in jeans—thankfully not the khakis from the vision—and the exact same T-shirt as me.
I laughed. “We’re the biggest dorks ever.”
He actually blushed a little as he grinned at me. I’d coordinate outfits all the time just to get that look on his face. “I guess we’re already in sync.”
That was true. So what would it be like when we were bonded? How much closer could we really get?
He reached out to me, and I took his hand, kicking off my shoes before moving onto the blanket. He sat, and I did the same.
How did we start? There was no dearly beloved here. No priest. No minister.
“What—”
“I—”
We laughed as we talked over each other. I could feel his nerves through the bond, and that made me relax a little more. It was a big deal. This was a big deal. But as I stared into his eyes, my nerves turned into excitement.
“Before we do this, I wanted to say that I love you.” Dastien squeezed my hand. “I know we’re young, and this probably seems crazy to you, but I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for forever. I was nervous before, but now I’m just excited.”
“Me too.”
“I don’t want you to be afraid of this because of the vision. If I thought bonding would make that future happen, then we wouldn’t be doing this. I promise. This will only help us.”
“I hope so, but right now—” I let go of all my worries and focused on him. Only him. “I just want to be with you and forget everything else.”
He grinned. “Me too.” He reached behind him and pulled something out of the basket. “Lucas told me the words he used to bond with Claudia, but first…” He held a knife out to me. “I know you didn’t like the idea of biting me. Instead, we can cut ourselves and mix our blood.”
This just kept getting weirder. Although I had to admit, making a little cut on my hand would be easier than biting him. The idea of hurting him—even for a good cause—turned my stomach a little. “So we’d be like blood brothers?”
Those stupid dimples dented his cheeks as he laughed. “Kind of. What would you rather?”
“I’d rather not do either.” For real. What was the deal with all of the biting and cutting? Couldn’t we just make the promises already?
“Tessa.” There was a hint of warning in his voice.
“But—if I must—I think I’ll take the knife.”
He held the handle out for me. “We have to move fast once we make the cuts. It’s not a supernatural wound. It’ll heal quickly.”
“Right.” I blew out a breath as I took the knife from him. “Does it matter where I make the cut?”
“Lucas didn’t say it mattered, but they used their hands.”
“Works for me.” I held the knife above my left palm, and paused. “Oh man. This is a real pain in my ass.”
Dastien gave me a fake growl. “I’ll show you a pain in your ass.”
I gave him a wicked look. “Promises, promises.”
He laughed. “You’re killing me. Just do it.”
“I think I need a countdown.”
“Like when you get a shot?” His eyes glittered in the firelight. “Just make cut, Tessa.”
Okay. I can do this. Just slice this super sharp knife over your palm.
I squealed, a very uncool, high-pitched noise as I ran the blade over my palm. A drop of blood dripped onto the blanket. I dropped the knife, but Dastien caught it. “Shit. That fucking hurts.” I closed my hand holding it against my heart. “Hurry up. I’m not doing that again.”
Dastien slid the knife along his hand like it was nothing.
“Show off.”
“Give me your hand.”
I reached out, and we joined our hands together.
Dastien’s power hit me and I felt like I was drowning.
I gasped. “Oh God.” It was overwhelming. For a while, I’d thought I was more powerful than him. More alpha because my bruja blood gave me an advantage. But I was wrong. So fucking wrong. Dastien was powerful. He had so much more in him that I’d thought. How did he keep it tampered down?
“What’s mine is your and yours is mine. From earth to air to fire to water. Moon and sun. I will be yours to the end of time.” Dastien’s words rolled through me, and our bond flew open—wider than it had ever been before. All I could see was white as a vision flashed before my eyes.
A man that looked like Dastien, only older, stood before me. His father? I’d seen a picture before. It had to be.
He sat in a field, playing blocks with a little boy, maybe two or three years old. Dastien. He giggled and I laughed, too.
He was so adorable. He must have his parents wrapped around his little finger.
A castle loomed behind them. Bright white stone and a dark black roof with spires reaching up into the sky. Little square windows dotted the outside, almost too many to count.
As they played, a woman ran to them; her long, blonde hair flowed down her back like golden silk. She said something in French, and the boys laughed. When she started running back to the castle, the little boy jumped up with a squeal to chase her.
Another wave of Dastien’s alpha power rolled through me, pulling me out of the vision. “Knowing what I have to offer, will you accept me and this bond?”
“Yes.” I managed to say the word before then another flash of white sucked me into a vision.
Dastien was a t
eenager. His hair was shorter, and his shoulders weren’t as full.
He sat in the breakfast nook in Mr. Dawson’s cabin. The kettle whistled and Mr. Dawson got up to fill two mugs.
“You have more power than any wolf that I know, but you’re young. You have to learn to control it or you’ll never be able to leave St. Ailbe’s. I won’t be able to allow it.”
Dastien threw his mug across the room, but Mr. Dawson didn’t flinch.
“I’m trying, but I… What am I going to do? Who can be with me? I’m dangerous.”
His pain was so deep that it caused a stabbing ache in my heart.
“No.” Mr. Dawson leaned across the table. “You’re not dangerous.”
“But Rupert said—”
“He’s wrong, and he’s jealous. There will be someone for you. A good match. But it won’t be Imogene. She’s trying to manipulate you.” He crossed his arms, giving Dastien a fierce stare down. “She’s a waste of your time. There will be someone for you. She’ll be your perfect match. You just have to wait here.”
“Wait here? But I’m graduating in two years and I have to decide if I’m bonding with Imogene—”
“No. You’re not allowed. As your guardian, I don’t approve the match.”
With that, Dastien’s pain vanished. A slow smile broke out across his face. “You don’t?”
“No. I’ll get you a cabin. You stay on here and—”
Another wave of alpha power hit me, pulling me back to the present. “With these words the bond is complete. I share all my power with my mate.” Dastien’s words held power. My soul ignited, and as the bond cemented, I saw so many things. Dastien’s life passed before me. I knew him. Things he’d gone through. How he thought. Felt. All his hopes and dreams.
It was interesting and invasive and crazy. There was so much there that I hadn’t been seeing before—that I didn’t know about Dastien—and as the visions slowed, I realized how right Dastien was.
We were infinitely more powerful together than we were apart.
Beyond our bond, I felt the pack. The web of ties that linked us all together was much clearer than before. I could draw power from the bonds so much easier with the two of us tied together. Before, it’d been a reach. Now, the pack was just there.