DANA BROWNE: I am aware of that, and four men is enough.
MILES HAZE: (Sighing.) Very well. Lead me to him.
(The Colonel orders Casey and Ethan to remain in the meeting room. Colonel Haze, Branden, and myself follow Dana to another room in the warehouse.)
DANA BROWNE: I’d like to introduce you to a friend of ours, Lisa.
MILES HAZE: Hello, Lisa. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m the acting commander of the C.V.P.M., Colonel Miles Haze.
LISA: Nice to meet you, too… (Trails off, confused.)
DANA BROWNE: Lisa, would you be willing to go ask Will if he has found whatever it was he was looking for? He asked me for help, but as you see, I’m busy.
LISA: I suppose… (Exits.)
DANA BROWNE: Meet Joey. He killed Bruce.
JOEY: (Mumbling, pointing at the Colonel’s pistol and imitating the sound of gunfire.)
MILES HAZE: I see. What is wrong with him? I’m having a hard time believing this.
DANA BROWNE: Well, Joey was suspicious of Bruce, and we ended up in a scuffle. When Bruce came in, all he wanted was a place to stay so the rest of the group didn’t have a problem with it. Even Branden was all right with it. (Laughs.) But Joey didn’t want to let a stranger in and shot the guy. That pissed everyone off, and in the heat of the moment, we smacked him up a bit but took it too far. He fell off the loading ramp onto his head. When he woke up, he was all scatterbrained like this. Lisa’s been taking care of him since.
MILES HAZE: I see.
DANA BROWNE: Since this is your guy, feel free to take him, I guess. He won’t do you much good, unless you take ‘em to your one place for experiments.
MILES HAZE: This again?
DANA BROWNE: No, no, no. I don’t mean it like that. I understand now, really. It just sucks that stuff like that is happening. But if it moves us forward, it has to be done. All he’d do here is eat someone else’s meal, and I really can’t think of a better way for Joey to contribute something to the world he’s leaving behind.
MILES HAZE: Well said. Private Martin, let’s take him outside.
(Everyone steps outside and heads toward our truck to complete the transaction, per se.)
MILES HAZE: We are all set. My men will move themselves in, so you don’t need to help. They will begin tomorrow.
DANA BROWNE: Oh, Miles? One more request: I need a car.
MILES HAZE: (Laughs.) We’ll see.
DANA BROWNE: Do you think I’m joking? I need a car.
MILES HAZE: I didn’t say that you were.
DANA BROWNE: So, can I get a car?
MILES HAZE: I’ll have to ask.
DANA BROWNE: Ask? (Dana draws gun, points at Miles.) You’re telling me, Mr. Top Dog of the C.V.P.M., that you have to ask? (Laughs.) Ask who?
(The following dialogue is pulled from the memory of the Colonel, Private Martin, and two other witnesses.)
MILES HAZE: That’s not what I meant, I don’t know if there is a car on base.
DANA BROWNE: (Laughs.) First you have to ask permission, now you don’t know! (Laughs.) I’m beginning to doubt who you are, Colonel.
MILES HAZE: It’s not what you think.
DANA BROWNE: (Yelling:) Where is the Colonel? Someone bring me the real Colonel!
(Serviceman uses truck radio to make a call.)
DANA BROWNE: Someone get this little pup outta here! I want to talk to the Big Man. (To Miles Haze:) I thought you looked a little young.
(Second C.V.P.M truck arrives; the others get the Colonel from the back, and he speaks to Dana.)
DANA BROWNE: Finally, someone who can get things done. (Lowers gun.)
(C.V.P.M. remain ready to fire.)
COLONEL WITCOMB: Tell me why I’m dragged out here, will you?
DANA BROWNE: Let me answer that. I just caught on that Miles here isn’t who he says he is, and I’d rather be talking to you.
COLONEL WITCOMB: Very well, what did you want to discuss? I’m certain you understand why I have Miles playing emissary here today.
DANA BROWNE: Yes, sir, I do. I just wanted the chance to say this to you directly: If you do anything at all, I will kill you. If one of your men gets a little trigger-happy and kills the wrong man, I will kill you. Do you doubt that I will?
COLONEL WITCOMB: (Laughs.) I don’t doubt you’ll try.
DANA BROWNE: That’s good. Also, I’m serious when I say I need that car. (Walks inside.)
End of Record
An Excerpt Written by Dana
Just met with the C.V.P.M., and it went very well. I noticed a few things about them through our conversation:
They don’t have as many men as they would like the public to think. I figured this out by the overall intentions of the C.V.P.M. They are forcing Casey to stay in the warehouse, that’s a big sign. If they wanted to sentence him to prison time, they could easily move him elsewhere. They probably have some kind of cell on their base, but instead they’re making him protect the warehouse.
Dictatorship. They want to form a militaristic dictatorship. The fake Colonel Miles said something about the C.V.P.M. recently taking control of some housing in town. Their interest in making the warehouse a community storage area solidifies this idea.
Day Twelve
Well, it sounds like the C.V.P.M. is moving in. Also, Casey isn’t leaving. Nothing will ever be the same around here. Casey and his men will probably try to create a plot to push the C.V.P.M. from the building. But in order for them to do that, they would have to have backup. More specifically, they would need Branden, Dana, Will, and me to help them do it. I’m not up for that. I’m also certain that Casey and his men would hold a grudge against anyone who refused to help them. Add the servicemen’s probable hatred and distrust for any armed men other than their own and that makes this place quite hostile.
I woke up this morning still dwelling on what Dana told me last night. I don’t know what to say, other than it was a heat of the moment decision to kill Bruce. I still regret it, but I do understand that we couldn’t trust him. It was very odd for a man to just walk in and lie about being armed, and I do believe the outcome was unavoidable. It may have been rash and heartless, but it’s just like Dana says—it needed to be done.
I am surprised and thankful that I live with the people I do. I don’t know if I could expect anyone other than that ass of a man, Dana, to lie to the C.V.P.M. and get away with it. I’m honestly grateful that he did and that he is a part of the group. The more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe he is an okay guy. He’s just another person who fell victim to his circumstances and I shouldn’t hate him for that. It wasn’t his fault all this happened. He’s just better at surviving than I am.
Lisa is pissed off, of course. Obscenities, something I have never heard come from her mouth, were commonplace in her dialogue when we revealed to her what happened to Joey. She called us “cruel, immoral people” and made sure to tell us that what we did was wrong and that we were likely going to hell. She does have a point, just like Dana has a point. However, I’m beginning to fully understand that sometimes there is no other choice than taking care of yourself. You can’t fight for everyone—you’ll end up caught in the crossfire, or a situation that ends up taking you down with it. Distance, it seems, is the only real form of safety.
With all of this being said, it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t feel comfortable with all the change. Even having nearly tripled the amount of men in the Warehouse, I still feel unsafe. While I feel safer from the dangers present outside, it’s the ones inside that I’m worried about. Casey is a ticking time bomb and the C.V.P.M. are going to be lurking about and waiting for someone to make a mistake.
All it would take is one slip of the tongue and I’d be called out for killing Bruce. Very unlikely, I know, but not impossible. I don’t think I can truly feel relaxed knowing that at any time I could be uprooted from the Warehouse and taken by the C.V.P.M. if they ever found out that I was the one who killed Bruce. The worst part is
that I can’t do anything to stop that from happening. Everyone who knows the truth already knows not to speak about it, but accidents do occur. Another day, another danger, I suppose.
I can’t stop thinking about Miranda either. I feel guilty about the stance I took at the beginning of all this. While I did try to find her at first, I can’t help but think that I could have looked longer. I figured it would be better for me if I didn’t know what happened to her. In that action of not acting, I deemed myself more valuable than her. That in and of itself is a betrayal to the entire purpose of our relationship. Granted, I had nothing to go on. I was almost out of gas and had little food. I couldn’t have rationally gone on a chase to unknown places so unprepared. I had to find a safe place and the only one I could think of was further away from Readlyn. I’ve said this before, I know, but that doesn’t change the guilt that I feel.
At this point, it’s far too late in the game to go out searching for her now. I think that Branden realized this the other day with his missing son, Christian. Mid-search, he lost the will to continue looking and has yet to bring up the idea of another search. It’s pointless now for Branden or me to look for our loved ones. We can only hope either that they died quickly or that they are doing more than surviving. In regards to Miranda, I truly hope she is somehow thriving.
I started off the day with a few pre-packaged lunchmeat-and-crackers meals. Could have probably picked through for some still-good apples or some other fruit. But I have eaten nothing but fruit and salads and drunk nothing other than juice for the last week. I needed the change. We’ll have to throw all of the produce out soon anyways.
I walked up to the roof to see who was up there and found Will. We casually greeted one another and I surveyed the surrounding area, as I occasionally like to do. While my head was in the clouds, Will spoke to me again.
“Do you think that we’ll be all right? Like in the long run?”
I tried to find the words that felt logical to me. “Honestly, probably not.” I smiled.
“That’s not what I was hoping for you to say.”
“Eh, I know. But it’s true. I feel like this place isn’t quite as safe as it was. Something about having two new,” I thought for a moment, “entities in the building doesn’t sit right with me.”
“Yeah, I agree,” Will said sullenly.
“You know, I am sorry, Will.”
Will gave off a single airy laugh. “Why do you say that?”
“You are right about Dana. Branden and I did just let him muscle his way in and get everything he wanted. I apologize for that.” I tipped my head down to look at the roof, sighing, and continued, “I could have stood up for all of us a bit more and kept Dana in line.”
“It’s all right. I don’t think Dana is the kind of guy that you can keep in line.”
“Don’t get me wrong, even though he is probably insane, he has been beneficial to have around.”
Will furrowed his brow.
I went on to explain, “He has been highly reckless, and he is a complete asshole sometimes, but he has saved each of us at least once. That can’t be ignored. I’m not saying he’s a saint or a good guy; I’m saying that he seems to be loyal.”
“But doesn’t that seem odd to you? He just shows up, completely out of his mind on narcotics, and goes to all of these ends like he’s been here forever. Like he knows us when he doesn’t. He makes so many calls, it’s disgusting.”
I shook my head. “Dana is the kind of guy that we will probably eventually become anyways. I think the biggest difference between Dana and us is that he already lives like his past is gone. He takes what he can while he can. He can’t be blamed for that, and we should probably do the same.”
“Are you promoting that we go around pointing guns in people’s faces? That’s probably his best tactic, at least in my opinion. Honestly, I’m surprised the guy hasn’t been shot yet!”
“Will.” I looked straight at him. “It is what it is. If you don’t like it, either leave or kill him yourself.”
Taken aback by my comment, Will stuttered and shifted his weight. I was a little ruthless, yes, but I wasn’t incorrect. I think that Dana’s all right. While assuredly not my favorite person, he is tolerable. As if on cue, Dana arrived on the roof.
Both Will and I nodded in affirmation of his presence. Will walked away without speaking. With the conversation and my scenery viewing completed, I began walking toward the access door to the roof. As I reached out to open the door, Dana called out to me. I turned to him and heard him say, “I need to talk to you.”
Curious as to what it was about, I obliged. “What’s up?”
“Well,” he scratched his head, “I’m thinking about hitting the road.”
“What? Why?”
He shrugged and said, “I miss my wife and kid.”
“Have you told anyone other than me?”
“Oh, no. I wouldn’t anyway; I don’t care what they think.”
“Why don’t you care what they think?” I paused and then added, “Why do you care what I think?”
“The way I see it is that everyone here is on their own path. They’ve got their own ambitions and, in the end, don’t much care about anyone else’s. Their goals are all here. Branden wants his son, and Will just wants to survive without taking risks. I have a feeling that you, on the other hand, don’t really want either of their paths.”
I chuckled. “Oh? Are you saying that I don’t want to survive?”
“No. I’m saying that you go to such great measures to satisfy other people’s goals. That’s all you’ve been doing.” He studied my facial expressions. “And that’s all you will do if you stay here.”
I hummed in thought since words couldn’t reach my tongue.
“Is that really how you want to die? For other people?” he asked.
“Maybe I do,” I said. “Maybe I don’t. The problem is finding how I want to die.” He sighed, and I continued, “Dana, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know that I really should want anything. Because in the end, I’ll probably just end up disappointed.”
It took him a moment to say anything else, but he eventually replied, “Chester, why don’t you come with me? To California, that is. It’ll be a ‘there and back again’ kind of trip.”
I laughed. “You just said that all I do is satisfy other people’s goals like it’s a bad thing, and you want me to go with you?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not telling you this for the reason of getting you to help me. I’m trying to offer you some time to get away from this place.”
“No, thanks.” I half-turned and nearly tripped over my own two feet when Dana spoke again.
“You sure?”
“Yep.” I proceeded to keep walking away and yelled over my shoulder, “I’m probably gonna die soon anyway!”
The air in the Warehouse was full of tension. I overheard Casey and Ethan talking about how shitty everything was and how the odds were stacked against them. Welcome to the club, guys. Been there, done that. Stressed out twenty-four-seven and always on guard. Granted, it had been easier to relax for a while there. Then Taylor passed away, and the Triple B.F.C. came here. Now I don’t think things will ever calm down.
It all makes me think about this existence, this life I have now. It’s only been twelve days, but goddamn, it feels like I’ve been living like this forever. Every day just drags on. I suppose I should make a correction on that statement: it’s been longer than twelve days. I didn’t record dealing with the Silence and the obstacles I had to overcome to try to keep my family and myself fed, which was honestly just about as shitty. Having the constant feeling of not being good enough to provide was stressful enough.
Over these past two days, I’ve come to realize something. Upon that realization, I’ve also come to a conclusion, or reached an analysis of myself. Things will never go back to the way that they were. I’ll never crack another energy drink and unwrap a fast food burger on a park bench with Miranda. I’l
l never get to toss and tumble with my brothers. My revelation, you might ask? After seeing all the things that I cared about die in one way or another—Mom, my siblings, and Taylor physically, Miranda emotionally—I don’t care if I do die.
The Book of a Few Page 18