by Casey Dawes
“Mmm,” she hummed against his lips.
“I’d like to stay,” he said, “but we’re short-handed at the bookstore this morning. Sunshine had to take care of her mom.”
“What time is it?”
“About nine.”
“Wow. I never sleep this late.”
“We had an active night.”
“Mmm.” Annie circled her arms around his neck for another kiss. “I’ll go make some coffee.” Reluctantly, she let him go.
“I’ll be in as soon as I get dressed,” he said.
She slipped on her chenille robe and warm slippers and went to the kitchen, humming as she made the coffee and set out the mugs. Should I feed him? What do I have? She started opening cupboard doors. Nothing. She opened the refrigerator and stared for a while. Milk for cereal and that was about it. Neither she nor David were big breakfast people.
“Hi.” John, freshly shaven, seemed to take up a lot of room in her small kitchen. “Can I do anything?”
“I’m afraid all I have to give you is coffee. I could run out and get something.”
He shook his head. “Coffee’s fine. If I get hungry later, I own a café.”
“Oh. That’s right.” She felt awkward all of a sudden.
He came over and wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you,” he said, “for being you.”
Annie smiled up at him. “Yeah,” was all she could manage to say. Her eyes were filling again, this time from happiness.
“When can we do this again?” he asked.
“Sleep together?”
He laughed. “Well, yes, but I want to see you again, too. I mean to court you, Annie Gerhard. I’m going to make myself so irresistible that when I ask you to marry me you won’t have any choice but to say, ‘yes.’”
Marry him? Wasn’t he rushing things? But then she realized he wasn’t. He was letting her know that he was serious; that it wasn’t a one-night stand.
“It’s a package deal, you know,” she said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll include David in the courting. He’ll probably be easier than you are.” He kissed her, a long, lingering kiss that tasted of spearmint.
“Coffee?” she asked after he released her.
“Sure.” He lowered his lanky body into a kitchen chair. Annie could feel his eyes as he followed her around the room. She poured the coffee and sat down across from him.
“What are your plans for the day?” he asked.
“I have to pick up David at the county dump at noon. He’s doing his service up there. He took a bus this morning, but I promised I’d get him and feed him. He’s always hungry these days.”
“Teenage boys are. How’s he handling the punishment?”
She shrugged. “Okay, I guess. It’s been a little difficult around here lately. He’s doing everything he can to let me know he doesn’t want to move to New Jersey. And, now that Fred’s sober, I’ve got two of them against me.”
“Are you still planning on leaving? I’ll have to tighten up my courting plan.” He grinned.
“Honestly? I don’t know. I saw a few jobs online a few days ago and applied for them.” She stared at his rugged face. “I don’t want to leave either, so I need to find a way to make it work.”
He nodded. “I respect that. Much as I’d like to sweep you off your feet and take care of all your problems, I don’t think you’d be comfortable with that.”
She shook her head. “Not yet. Maybe someday.”
“I’ll work on that, too. Speaking of work … ” He stood up and put his mug in the sink. “I have to work late tonight. Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Why don’t you come for dinner?” Annie impulsively asked. “Nothing fancy — roast chicken.”
“Nothing fancy works for me. I’ll bring the wine.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek and left.
There was one more thing she wanted to do before retrieving her son.
“Hi, Mom,” she said when her mother picked up the phone.
“Well, this is unexpected. You don’t call too often. Is that Beverly bothering you?”
Her mother would never change. “I called to say ‘thank you.’ Thank you for protecting me.”
Her mother was quiet for a moment. “You’re welcome.”
Chapter 23
David was excited when Annie picked him up at the dump on Dimeo Lane a few miles north of Santa Cruz. “I’ve only got one more week!” he said. “Then I can go back to soccer.”
Annie glanced over at him. “And you’re never going to get in trouble again?”
“Not if I can help it,” he said. “This was so dumb.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I wasn’t thinking.”
She tousled his hair. “It won’t be your last mistake, but that’s all it was, a mistake. As long as you learn from it and don’t keep repeating it, it’ll be fine.”
“I won’t do this ever again, Mom.”
“Thanks.”
They drove through farmland for a few minutes before he spoke again. “Does that mean we can stop for pizza?”
She laughed. “I guess so.” That would give her an opportunity to tell him about John.
Once they had their slices and were settled at a booth at Pizza My Heart, she tried to figure out the best way to introduce the subject. For once, David seemed happy. He’d found some “cool” machines at the dump — machinery used to sort recyclables and dispose of toxic waste.
“It’s kinda like that stuff that Sarah’s learning about,” he said. “Maybe I should do that, too, when I go to college.”
He tore off another bite. “So are you going to take that job with the bookstore? That’d be crazy. Maybe we could get discounts or something.”
Ah, the perfect opening. “Well, there’s something we need to talk about.”
“It’s okay. I know we’d have less money. But I’d help out — get a job or something.”
“Remember the guy who came to the house to offer the job at the bookstore?”
“Uh-huh,” he mumbled around another bite of pizza.
“Well, we went out on a couple of dates together.”
“I know.” He went silent for a few minutes.
She concentrated on her pizza. One of the things she’d learned from her coach was that silence was a very effective way of communicating.
“I guess that’s okay,” he finally said. “He’s not moving in, is he?”
“No.” John had said he was going to court David and she was going to rely on him to do it.
“I suppose that’s okay, then. What’s Dad going to say?”
“I don’t know. But we’re not going to get back together. You know that.”
“Yeah.” He was silent again.
“Do you think we could still get discounts from the bookstore guy?” He flashed her the grin that had won everyone over when he was younger.
“We’ll see. You can ask him yourself. He’s coming to dinner tomorrow night.”
“Okay.” Her son went back to shoveling pizza in his mouth.
Annie looked at him. He was growing up. Soon he’d be on his own. She hoped she’d raised him right — that he’d be happy and do well with his life. But it was pretty much out of her control now.
It was time for her to move on.
• • •
By four-thirty Sunday afternoon, Annie had trussed the chicken, de-stemmed and washed the spinach, and peeled and quartered the potatoes. It wasn’t a meal Weight Watchers would approve of, but she wasn’t feeding dieting middle-aged women. She was feeding a growing teenage boy and a tall, lanky cowboy.
Her cowboy. All right, he was masquerading as a bookseller, but he looked like he belonged on a
horse riding the plains chasing cows. Or maybe taming a bucking bronc.
I’m getting carried away.
She giggled.
When the doorbell rang an hour later, she raced down the stairs to open it. She paused a moment to take a breath before she opened the door.
“These are for you.” John thrust a bouquet of spring blossoms into her hands. He gestured to the cloth shopping bag he’d hung over his shoulder. “I stopped at Staff of Life on my way here.” He stepped inside, leaned down, and kissed her.
A door opening from the downstairs hall made her step back from his embrace. “David,” she whispered.
“Hi,” John said to David as her son emerged from the hall.
“Oh, hi.” David straddled the two steps between the hall and the landing and put out his hand. “How are you?”
“Good. Looking forward to some good home cooking.” John smiled at Annie.
David looked at his mother. “Tell me you’re doing something normal for dinner.” He turned to John. “Sometimes when we have guests she decides to experiment. It doesn’t always turn out too well.”
She poked her son in the ribs. “Is roasted chicken, stuffing, spinach, and mashed potatoes normal enough for you?”
“W-e-ll, maybe not the spinach … ”
“David!” She laughed. She loved her son when he was like this — playful and teasing.
“I thought it was normal except for the potatoes,” John added. “Isn’t there a law somewhere that you can’t have potatoes with stuffing?”
“You guys,” she said with a grin. “Okay … I’ll eat it all myself!”
David leaped past her and raced up the stairs. “Not a chance!”
Annie laughed with pure joy and John joined in. Then he brushed her lips with his. “Got to get this in when no one’s watching.”
Dinner continued with light-hearted banter and conversation. David and John were easy with each other and her meal, complemented by John’s local Pinot noir, was a success.
“Come on, David,” John said after dinner. “Show me where things go in this kitchen so we can clean up. Then I can find out where your mom hid the ice cream I brought.”
Annie started to get up.
“Sit,” John commanded. “You cooked, we’ll clean. Of course, it may take you days before you find everything when we’re through,” he added as he went into the kitchen.
Annie picked up her wine glass, went to the living room and gazed out the window. It was staying lighter later every evening. They only had a few more months of nice days before the coastal fog settled in for the summer. Suddenly a cloud passed over her mood. She had to go into work tomorrow to find out what Randy wanted. What was she going to tell him?
• • •
Annie drove over the hill to San Jose the next morning with mixed feelings. She’d been doing this commute for ten years. It was tiring, but it was routine. Routine had been her lifeline — an antidote to the chaos of living with Fred and single motherhood. Was she ready to take a risk again?
As she made her way to her office, she absently waved to co-workers. She’d come in a little early for her meeting with Randy so she could finish packing up her things. She’d taken most of her personal belongings home weeks ago. She found herself staring out the window at the almond trees and green hills. Soon, summer valley heat would turn the fields brown, leaving the live oaks dotting the hills as the only visible evidence of life.
Glancing at her watch, Annie shook herself from her reverie and tossed the last few binders into the cardboard box. Then she picked up her notepad and walked to Randy’s office.
“Shut the door,” Randy told her when she walked in. He didn’t give her time to sit before he started in. “What did you do in New Jersey? It was your one chance to keep a job. You were a perfect fit.”
“They aren’t making an offer?” she asked.
“They haven’t made up their mind. They want to see you again. Next week. You’re to be personally interviewed by a director — Conrad somebody.” He leaned over his stack of paper. “You’d better get there next week and make it right. You’re running out of time. There’s nothing else — the economy sucks and you know it.”
“I’ll take the layoff.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Annie repeated. “I’ll take the layoff. I don’t want to move to New Jersey. The job’s impossible, Conrad’s behavior is borderline sexual harassment, and my life is in California. I’ll find something else.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“You always thought so.”
“Your funeral. Pack up your things and let me know when you’re done. We’ll finish the paperwork and you can leave.”
“I’m already packed.”
The next hour was one of the most humiliating in Annie’s life. She was stripped of her company ID, computer, and codes. She signed paper after paper. Finally, Randy took her to the corporate gate as she balanced her last boxes of personal items in her arms.
“Good luck,” was all Randy said as the metal gate slammed closed behind her.
Annie drove out of the compound on autopilot, her thoughts going a mile a minute. She’d spent over a decade at this place. It had been good to her. But she was never more certain in her life that she was doing the right thing. She was making a change for herself — not for David, or John or Fred, or her parents. Just for her.
Cranking up the music, Annie sang along to Peter, Paul, and Mary. Tears ran down her face as she shouted the words to familiar songs.
• • •
When Annie reached the fishhook, she turned north on Highway 1. At a music store near the university, she found what she wanted. Her small purchase fit easily into her purse.
I suppose I should be miserable. I just threw away my security.
Annie laughed. Her feelings were as far from miserable as they could get. Spring was in full force in the city of Santa Cruz and in her heart. Even the run-down houses along Mission Street had flowers bursting from struggling gardens while the handful of boldly painted old Victorians splashed their floral displays. She began to sing a half-remembered song from a favorite Broadway show.
She sang her way down to the bookshop, making up words when she couldn’t remember the originals. By the time she got to the parking garage, she was at the end of the song, singing at the top of her lungs.
A smile on her face, she waltzed into the store. She spotted John almost exactly where she’d seen him the first time. Once again, he was struggling with a load of books, his shirt stretched taut against his back. But now she knew exactly what those bare muscles felt like under her hands.
He looked up as she got closer and a smile matching her own spread across his face. He dumped the books on the nearest table and came to her.
“You look so happy,” he said, and gave her a light kiss on her mouth.
“I guess you’re not going to keep our relationship a secret.”
“Hell, no,” he said and kissed her again.
“I quit my job.”
He put his hands on her shoulders and stared down at her. “For real? No going to New Jersey? No job?”
“Nope. I’m staying right here where I belong.”
“That’s wonderful!” He drew her to him in a bear hug. “I still have an opening at the bookstore,” he murmured to the top of her head.
Laughing, she pushed him gently away and took his hands. “I may take you up on it, but I want to wait until I hear from the consulting firms. Let me see if I can find something in my field first.”
“Got time for coffee?”
“I have all the time in the world.”
“Unfortunately, I’ve only got fifteen minutes,” John said as he escorted her back to the café. “I have to warn you — the boss in this pl
ace is a slave-driver.”
Twenty minutes later Annie was driving south. She shook her head in wonder. She’d never felt better in her life. It was as if a straight highway had opened up in front of her. If there were obstacles, she felt confident she could overcome them. It was exhilarating!
“Hi,” she called as she bounced into Elizabeth’s store. “I quit my job!” she yelled.
Her friend emerged from the back of the store, a toothpick in one hand, a pair of tweezers in the other. “Shhh!” she stage whispered. “I almost dropped hot wax on Sheila Abernathy’s nose!”
She gave Annie an awkward hug and looked at her questioningly. “You quit your job? Without having another one?”
“Yep!”
“How’s it feel?”
“Great!” It was Annie’s turn to look at her friend. “Where were you this weekend? I tried to call you, but you never answered. I wanted to tell you about my date with John.”
“How was it?”
“Fabulous.”
“I can’t wait to hear more, but … ” Elizabeth gestured to the back room. “I’ve got to go. Call me later? Better yet, come see me.”
They hugged and Elizabeth scurried back behind the curtain.
Annie pulled into her driveway a few minutes earlier. Her euphoria wouldn’t last too long, she realized. Soon the reality of bills would crash down on her. But for now, she wanted to be on top of the world for however long it lasted.
She brought her office boxes into the garage. She couldn’t imagine where to put the company awards that had once seemed so important to her. As for her technical books, they could stay here until she needed them for the next job.
Once her cup of tea was made, Annie took the package out of her purse and grabbed the guitar she’d dragged out of the garage weeks before. She restrung her old Martin and tried out a few chords.
After supper that night, she told David her decision to quit. “I’m not sure how long it will take me to get a job or consulting assignment, so things will be a little tight around here for a while. You’ll need to make your cleats do until fall.”