by Casey Dawes
A knock at the door awoke her. “Come in.” Elizabeth may not like the unlocked door, but there didn’t seem to be any way around it.
She was surprised when her seventeen-year-old half-sister, Alicia, walked in, her pregnant stomach leading the way. Since she’d moved home, Sarah had avoided her mother’s spa, not willing to spend time with her father’s daughter. Nothing Elizabeth could say would change her mind.
Sarah didn’t understand how Elizabeth could accept her husband’s disloyalty and its evidence on a daily basis. “Oh. Hi.”
Alicia had a pink Gayle’s box in her hands. “Your mother has sent me with a peace offering,” she said. “Shall I put it in the kitchen, or do you want me to serve some now?”
“What did she send?” The conversation couldn’t get any more awkward if Sarah tried.
Alicia smiled, the grin lighting her face and reminding Sarah of her father. Her heart ached with the betrayal.
“She sent bear claws and some mini-Danish. Smells great.” Alicia waved the box under Sarah’s nose.”
Sarah’s stomach obediently grumbled and she had to chuckle. “Sounds like now would be good. Why don’t you join me? I think the plates are in the cupboard on the far wall. There’s still coffee in the machine. Help yourself.”
“Do you want any?”
Sarah shook her head. “It’s caffeinated. I’ll take a glass of water if you don’t mind.”
The thick walls masked whatever noise Alicia was making in the kitchen. Sarah stared at the ceiling, trying to think of safe topics of conversation. The dark wood wainscoting and emerald wallpaper didn’t reveal any secrets for success.
“How much longer?” Sarah gestured to Alicia’s round belly when she returned with the food.
“About six more weeks. I can’t wait.” Alicia lowered herself into one of the armchairs. “I’m sorry you have to have bed rest. That would have driven me crazy. I like to be moving all the time.”
The silence lengthened as they took the first bites of the pastries.
After taking a sip of coffee, Alicia put her hands on her knees and gazed steadily at Sarah. “Look, I know I make you uncomfortable and I’m sorry for that. But it’s not my fault.”
“I know that.”
Alicia licked her lips. “You sound so cold when you say that Sarah. We are sisters. In my culture, family is important and you are my family, no matter that we’re from different sides of the sheet.” She gestured at the chaise. “This can be frustrating. Some of my cousins have had to do this. I would like to help if I could.” She smiled. “I’m good at making things pretty. I could help you decorate the rooms with knickknacks, flowers, maybe even some painted flowers on the upper walls.” She stood and began to walk around the room.
“I really can help you. We can find style you want on the web and then I can make it happen.” She crossed to Sarah. “Please. I want to be closer to you.” She gestured to their stomachs. “Our babies will be close in age — cousins. We must make our peace so they can know their whole family.”
Sarah looked away from the young woman’s earnestness. “I’ll need to think about this.” She turned back and smiled at Alicia. “Thank you for the offer. Really. I appreciate it. I’m … I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“I see.” Alicia’s face shuttered. She pulled a piece of paper from her purse and scribbled a number on it. “My cell. If — when — you change your mind.”
Sarah took it.
“I think I will go now.” Alicia picked up her dish and coffee cup and brought it back to the kitchen. When she came back out, she said, “Oh, I almost forgot. Your mother asked me to give this to you. She said you needed it.”
“Thanks.” Sarah took the small rectangle, edges bent from use.
“Bye.” Alicia let herself out the door.
Sarah looked down at the card.
“Carol Eos, Life Coach.”
Sarah groaned. Her mother was being pushy, but given Sarah’s kiss with Hunter at the hospital when she was supposed to be reconciling with Rick, talking to someone was probably a good idea.
She opened up her laptop, found the coach’s website, and made an appointment for the following afternoon when Mandy and Hunter would be at work.
Daisy barked her approval.
The next afternoon the phone rang promptly at two. “Carol Eos here. Is this Sarah?”
“Yes.”
“Good. How can I help you?”
“My mother suggested I call you.”
“Elizabeth?”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“She’d mentioned you once or twice. I don’t have many clients in California, so it’s a quick process of elimination.” The woman’s deep chuckle rumbled over the line. “What can I do for you?”
“Well. I’m pregnant.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks, but that’s the problem.”
“You didn’t want to be pregnant?” Carol asked.
“Well, no, actually I didn’t. But I am and I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m looking forward to holding my baby in my arms.” Sarah surprised herself, discovering as she said it that it was true. She was looking forward to her baby’s arrival.
Silence.
“The problem is,” Sarah continued, “I’m not sure about the father.”
“You mean you don’t know who he is?” The voice was kind, without judgment.
“Not that at all.” Sarah shifted in the chaise’s confines. “It’s just … ” She spilled the story to the coach of the accidental pregnancy, Rick’s reaction, the inn, and Rick’s attempt to get back in her good graces.
“Did you ever love him?”
Carol’s question took Sarah aback. “Of course I did.” Had she? What did she know about love anyway. “I think I did.”
“How long had you been together?”
“A little under a year before I got pregnant.” Sarah stared at the wallpaper flocking. “I changed my whole life to be around him. It was the right thing to do,” she hastily added. “I’m much happier being an innkeeper, well, almost innkeeper, than an environmental scientist.”
“They’re quite different. What made you choose science?”
“My friends in high school were worried about the environment and got me hooked. I mean. I wanted to do something important for the planet. Being an innkeeper doesn’t even come close.”
Sarah heard the disappointment in herself. She’d given up her dreams for a man and look where it had landed her.
“But you’re happier.”
“I think so.”
Sarah could almost hear the gears turning in the coach’s head.
“You know,” Carol finally said, “providing food, shelter, and a warm surrounding is also important to the planet. When people are together in a relaxed setting, they can have conversations that they wouldn’t ordinarily have. There’s a reason world leaders go on retreats to hash things out.”
“Oh.” Sarah hadn’t considered it that way before.
“What do you want?” Carol asked.
“An intact family where I’m in love with my husband. A job to keep me interested, yet allow me time to be with my baby. Security — financial, emotional, physical.” She’d said the same thing so many times she didn’t need to think about it.
“Do you think Rick can partner with you to get that?”
Did she? Sarah sank back into the pillows and shifted her gaze to the ceiling.
He had to. He was the baby’s father. Otherwise, she’d be another single mother — like Alicia.
“My half-sister is pregnant,” she announced.
“How does that make you feel?”
Feel? “I don’t know.”
“Are you pleased?”
Sa
rah snorted. “Not hardly.”
“So not happy for her.”
“She’s going to be a single mom at seventeen. How can she know what she’s doing?”
Yet Alicia seemed to know her future more than Sarah did. Alicia had determined right from the beginning she wasn’t marrying her baby’s father, a gang member in Los Baños.
Sarah couldn’t make up her mind between two men.
The silence lingered. Why isn’t the coach talking?
“Okay. I’m angry,” Sarah finally said.
“At your sister?”
Tears started falling from Sarah’s eyes. “No! At the whole situation. My father’s affair that produced Alicia, Rick wanting me to get an abortion, my mother’s constant interference, and Hunter — ”
Oops.
“Who’s Hunter?” The coach was quick.
“My handyman.”
The coach chuckled. “Did he put a pipe in upside down or something?”
“No. He’s a veteran with a prosthetic leg, but more capable than Rick ever was. Did I mention he’s my live-in handyman?”
Drat. She hadn’t meant to say that either.
“I see.”
“I’m glad one of us does,” Sarah said. “Can you explain it to me?”
Carol laughed. “I can help you explain it to yourself, which is even better.”
Sarah frowned. “If you say so.”
“I have some assignments for you. First, get a journal … ”
Sarah had heard about the dreaded assignment of writing in a journal first thing in the morning from her mother and Annie. Her assignment came with a twist, though. She had to write about how it felt to be pregnant.
Right now? Boring.
• • •
Hunter was gone by the time Rick arrived on Saturday, but Mandy was still in the kitchen, sworn to secrecy about Hunter’s living arrangements.
Rick was all smiles when he came in, loaded with bags, leafy greens once again escaping from the tops. “I’ve got chicken for pot de feu. You’ll love it. I think I’ve finally mastered the technique.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Hello, darling. How’s the baby? How are you?”
“We’re good.”
A pot clanged in the kitchen.
Rick straightened up. “Who’s that?”
“Mandy.”
“Is she going to be here all weekend?”
“She does live here.” Sarah tried to hold her temper back. “She’ll be out most of the evening for work, if that helps.”
He started toward the kitchen. “I’ll put these away.”
The murmur of voices came from the kitchen hall and Sarah longed to be a fly on the wall in that sunny room. If she went by the increased noise, however, things weren’t going well.
Mandy came down the hallway and shouted over her shoulder, “The kitchen’s all yours until Monday morning, Rick. Nice to meet you.”
She frowned at Sarah and ran up the stairs. The door slammed a little harder than needed.
Sarah sighed and picked up a mess of yarn from her lap. In January she’d decided it was time to start making things for the baby and ordered what was billed as a “simple crochet blanket” from the Internet. The directions may have been simple for some people, but as she examined the stitches, Sarah realized her third attempt was going to need to be pulled out too.
Rick came into the living room. “Why don’t you come into the kitchen while I make lunch?”
She gestured to her makeshift bed. “You’ll have to wheel it in.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“The doctor said bed rest. That’s how we’ve been coping with it around here.”
“Can’t you at least get out of it before I wheel it in?”
Sarah sighed. “Can you give me a hand?” She reached up and Rick took her hand to help her.
They stood for a brief moment before Rick leaned in and kissed her.
Nothing.
His lips were moist and clammy. Whatever spark there had been was gone. Could they get it back?
She forced herself to respond and when they broke, Rick smiled. “That’s better.”
She was a fraud.
The chaise bounced against the wall as Rick pulled it down the hall. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s awkward.”
“That’s okay,” she said, glancing at the thin scratch in the wood. Hopefully, Hunter would be able to cover it up.
“Your throne, madam,” Rick said with a flourish of his arm.
She smiled, sat, picked up her crocheting, and began to rip it out.
Rick bustled around the kitchen, pots and pans clanging. “When did you say you were getting the kitchen redone? It could really use an upgraded dishwasher to save on washing pots and pans.”
“I’m bringing the kitchen up to code, but I don’t think it’s going to be the gleaming, state-of-the-art place you have in mind. Not in the budget.”
“Oh, yeah. Of course. What is your budget? Where are you getting the money?”
“My dad left me a trust fund and I’m using that. Don’t have the numbers right now.” And I’m not sure I’d tell you if I did. His question bothered her, like an itch between her shoulder blades that she couldn’t quite reach.
“Well, the kitchen’s the heart of the inn, you know, so this is the best place to spend your money.”
Sarah finished pulling apart the blanket and began to rewrap the yarn in a ball. “I’m not sure I agree. People are going to come here for an experience. Food’s part of it, but not everything. The gardens, the appointments in the rooms, the service — those are just as important.”
He put down the pot he was holding and faced her. “That’s not what we planned, Sarah. We were going to create a destination restaurant with a few rooms, not an inn with a few meals.”
“But this inn isn’t set up that way.”
“Well, then, we need to change it around.”
If she could have stalked out of the room, she would have. “This is my inn, Rick. I made my decision after you told me you wanted nothing more to do with me or our child.”
“I thought we were over that. I’m trying to make amends and you’re not giving me a break.”
“I am giving you a break by even seeing you.” She took a deep breath. She needed to bring this conversation down a notch before they had another big explosion. “But I had to make decisions at the time with what I knew — you, the chef, weren’t in the picture.”
By Rick’s clenched jaw, Sarah knew he was trying to get his emotions under control, too.
“I see. But what becomes of our plans if we get back together?” He pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table.
“What do you want for our future?”
“Same thing I always wanted — make a destination restaurant.”
“Then what?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. You think about these things too much. I thought that was a big enough goal.”
“What about a family?”
He gave her a wry smile. “Well, I seem to be getting that fairly soon now.” He put his palms on the table. “Look, Sarah, I’m not a plan ahead kind of guy. I know what I want to do next, but then?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to be open to opportunity. Sail the Pacific in a boat, open the first sustainable restaurant in Kenya, whatever.”
“Tough with a family.”
“Sarah, you and I never talked about kids before this. I’m an only child. So are you. Why do we need a lot of rug rats under foot? One baby will be fine. She — or he — will learn to adapt. Any more?” He shook his head. “That’s nowhere in the cards for me.”
Until that moment, Sarah hadn’t thought about the type of family she wanted. She th
ought of Alicia, also an only child, who wanted to be closer so their children could grow up together. Maybe she’d been so busy running away from Costanoa that she hadn’t stopped to figure out how to get what she did want.
“Oh,” was all she said.
“Sorry to disappoint you.” Rick stood and went back to cooking.
Sarah picked up the crochet pattern, hook, and yarn. Consulting the directions one more time, she began to create a chain for the first row. As she looped the yarn, she realized she was as rudderless as Rick was.
Chapter 16
“How are we getting this in here?” Paul asked Hunter a few days later.
Hunter examined the secondhand gas stove Mandy had managed to snag at the auction and visually measured at the back door to the kitchen. They’d already eliminated the front door as a possibility. Too much chance for damage.
“I think if we take off the doorjamb, we can just squeak it through.”
“If you say so, boss.” Paul grinned at Hunter.
Hunter smiled back, glad he and Paul were getting along so easily. Moving anything was a pain, and doing it with a partner who wasn’t able to cooperate made it a bigger problem.
Carefully, Hunter removed the door and the pieces surrounding it.
“Good thing Sarah can’t see this,” Mandy said from the kitchen.
“She sleeping?” Hunter asked.
“Yes. She seems to be doing a lot of pondering and writing in her journal and I think she’s worn herself out.”
“What’s she thinking about?” Paul asked as he maneuvered the final bit of the stove into the kitchen.
“What every woman thinks about — men.” Mandy cracked an egg into a bowl. “Omelets okay for lunch? The neighbor’s hens have been laying and they’re drowning in eggs.”
“Why do women think so much?” Paul asked. “Just go after what you want. That’s my motto.”
Hunter glanced up in time to see Mandy stare at Paul with an expression between a glare and curiosity.
So that’s what’s up.
He’d caught an undercurrent of feeling between the two, but hadn’t been able to figure out what it was until now. “Just go after what you want.” Hunter’s thoughts drifted to Sarah and their aborted date. His feelings hadn’t died, but he’d kept them hidden.