by Helen Brooks
They arrived at the hospital without having spoken another word and Katie felt her stomach chum at the prospect ahead as Carlton parked the big car and cut the engine. He took her arm as they entered the building and she forced herself not to flinch from his touch although her nerves reacted violently to his closeness as he drew her into his side.
'A smile might help,' he said softly as they came to the door of her father's room. 'If you can't quite manage the dewy-eyed bride approach.'
She flashed him a glance of pure venom and then stitched a smile into place as he opened the door, his mouth twisted with cynical amusement.
She was amazed at how well things went—mainly due, she had to admit, to Carlton's easy mastery of the situation. David was delighted, transparently so, at their news, although there was one nasty moment when Carlton left them alone at the end of the visit.
'Katie?' Her father took her hand in his, the first time she could ever remember him voluntarily touching her. 'This is all very sudden, isn't it?'
'Dad, we're two grown adults, not a couple of teenagers,' she replied carefully. 'There's no need to wait if we're sure, is there?' She looked into the eyes of this man whom she had always loved but had remained steadfastly remote from her since the death of his wife, and forced a smile from somewhere. She hadn't really expected him to question her; she hadn't thought he would care that much.
'And you are? Sure, I mean?' he asked urgently, his pale blue eyes searching her face. 'Don't get me wrong—I like Carlton. In fact he's one of the few men I like as well as respect. When he makes a commitment to anything or anyone it's made and that's rare these days, but…' He paused, his face thoughtful. 'You're young and your heart rules your head. You aren't doing this out of some sort of misguided gratitude because Carlton helped us find a loophole, are you?'
She forced an easy laugh from somewhere even as it registered that he was still holding her hand tight and that the soft light in his eyes was something he hadn't allowed her to see in a long, long time. 'As if I would…'
'Oh, you would, Katie White, you would,' her father said quietly. 'I know you, lass. You're too like your mother in the things that matter. I was always glad I'd met her almost before she was out of pigtails so that I could protect her from herself,' he added with a flat, hard pain that caught at her heartstrings.
'Were you?' Something of her utter amazement must have shown in her face because he shook his head slowly, shutting his eyes as he lay back against the pillows and letting go of her hand as his face flushed a dull red with hot embarrassment.
'I'm tired, Katie.' It was the normal sort of brush-off she had received over the last thirteen years if she ever tried to break through his hard outer shell, but it still hurt. She stared at his lined face for a long moment before rising from her chair and placing a careful kiss on the side of his cheek.
'OK, Dad.' The years of training kept her pain from showing in her voice. 'I'll call in later.'
'No need.' He opened his eyes, his face straight and his eyes veiled now, the softness gone. 'Jennifer is coming this afternoon, so I understand, and no doubt there'll be other visitors. Enjoy the day with Carlton.' The withdrawal was complete.
She smiled but said nothing and left quietly to join Carlton who was waiting in the corridor outside. 'OK?' His eyes were piercing on her face. 'No problems?'
'Not really.' But her mouth was tremulous and the dark grey eyes missed nothing.
'He didn't buy it?' Carlton asked quietly.
'Yes, yes, he did.' They began to walk towards the lift some yards away and she lowered her head in the gesture he was beginning to recognise.
'Katie?' Just before they left the warmth of the centrally heated building he took her arm, turning her to face him, his eyes searching her face. 'He cares very much for you, you know. He just finds it hard to express it.'
'Does he?' She wasn't going to crumble, she told herself tightly as the unexpected sympathy constricted her chest.
'You don't know him like I do, Carlton; you don't understand.'
'Perhaps you know him too well. Sometimes an outsider can see things more clearly,' he said with a gentleness that made her instinctively gather her defences before she crumbled in front of him.
'Sometimes,' she agreed bitterly, forcing the weakness aside.
'But not in this case?' he asked carefully.
'Definitely not in this case.' She shook off his arm wearily and opened the door to the blast of arctic air outside. 'But he likes you, Carlton; he likes you very much indeed,' she said quitely as they walked towards the car. 'You're very like him, you see; he understands you.'
'And that's another black mark against me.' Her eyes snapped up to his face then but she could read nothing from his expression to indicate how he had meant the cool statement.
'No, of course not—'
'You don't lie well, Katie, like I said before, so just stick with the big whopper for now,' he said grimly. 'I'm aware that you disapprove of me and I don't altogether blame you so let's leave it at that for now. Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to eat?' he asked abruptly as he opened the car door for her.
'I—n-no…' The change of conversation had her stammering like a schoolgirl, she thought with a sudden burst of anger that banished the ache in her heart over her father. Why did this man always reduce her to a quivering wreck anyway? It just wasn't fair. She wanted to be cool and calm and in control.
They lunched at an olde-worlde pub that was all horse brasses and copper warming pans but the food was surprisingly good and Carlton proved to be an entertaining companion when he set his mind to it, with a sharp, slightly cruel wit that had her laughing more than once, even though she slightly resented the fact without understanding why. But she did understand that he was dangerous, she thought to herself as she watched him return with their drinks, after they had walked through to the bar from the charming little dining-room. Dangerously attractive, dangerously male, dangerous. And she was going to marry him.
'Have you a date in mind?'
'What?' It was almost as though he had read her mind, she thought faintly as he sat down beside her at the little carved wooden table, depositing her dry white wine in front of her with an easy smile.
'For the wedding.' The black eyebrows rose fractionally. 'And do you want all the trimmings? A white dress, bride-maids and so on?' he asked with indulgent easiness.
'I haven't really thought about it,' she prevaricated quickly, mortified at the touch of colour she could feel in her cheeks.
'Then think.' He was still smiling but there was a touch of steel about his mouth now. 'I thought the beginning of June would be suitable. That will give you a few weeks to fuss about your dress and all the other details and we could have a month's honeymoon at my villa in Northern Spain and get to know each other.' She blushed bright red now at the immediate picture in her mind, but if he noticed he didn't comment on it. 'Later we could perhaps take a cruise, spend the winter abroad if you would like that?'
'I—' She was floundering again and hated herself for it, but the careless ease with which he spoke of their future plans left her breathless. 'I don't mind. Whatever you think.'
'Submissive as well as beautiful?' The dark voice was both amused and mocking and grated on her nerves like barbed wire. What did it matter what she thought anyway? she asked herself painfully as she averted her eyes from his. She was nothing to him beyond a body in which to nurture his precious heirs; he had made that perfectly clear, and she would have to come to terms with that.
But somehow… Somehow, the more she got to know him, the harder that became. She wanted him to see her. The self-knowledge was frightening, opening her as it did to a vulnerability that she was sure he would capitalise on if he sensed it.
But he couldn't read her mind. The thought enabled her to raise her head and smile with a composure she was far from feeling. 'But of course.' She took a sip of her drink and carefully placed the glass back on the table, pleased to see that the trembl
ing inside was hidden and that her hand was perfectly steady. 'You are paying a great deal for me, Carlton. It's only fair that I give value for money.'
As his mouth straightened into a thin line and his eyes took on the consistency of splintered glass she realised that she had gone too far, but there was no way she could take the words back. They had been a defence, a desperate cover for her bruised feelings, but she hadn't liked their ugliness and she suspected that Carlton liked them still less. But it was too late now. There was nothing she could do but brazen it out.
'Is that how you really see things?' he asked coldly after several seconds had ticked by in deathly silence.
'What other way is there?' she asked dully.
'Dammit, Katie!' The explosion was sudden and frightening but even as she shrank back from him and the heads of the only other couple in the bar turned their way the perfect control was back in place, the only betrayal of the rage burning inside in the glittering darkness of his narrowed eyes as they fixed on her white face.
'You're making this harder than it needs to be,' he said quietly. 'You do see that? If you give yourself half a chance you might even find you like me.'
That's what terrifies me, she thought painfully. She had gone through the whole gamut of emotion since the first moment she had heard his voice on the day her father collapsed, but none had been as frightening as the one that was creeping insidiously through her veins now.
She knew he was like her father—cold and austere and devoid of normal human warmth. She knew that he was ruthless, that he had had lots of women—hadn't Jennifer confirmed that very thing? He would find it easy to mould her to his will, to pick her up and drop her whenever he felt like it She had seen her father do it time and time again with different females since her mother's death. She knew all that. It was a solid weight in her chest that was there night and day.
So why, knowing it, did she still have the urge to reach out and touch his face and ask if they could begin again as though the last few days had never happened? To beg him to look at her, really look at her, and see her for what she was rather than the future mother of his children?
She had spent thirteen years trying to win her father's love and approval; she couldn't spend the rest of her life trying to win Carlton Reef's, and for that reason she had to keep herself detached, remote from this thing that was going to happen to her. It would be hard, but the alternative was unthinkable.
CHAPTER SIX
The next few days rushed by at breakneck speed, for which Katie was thankful. It gave her less chance to think and that way she could function on automatic. She explained to the headmaster at the school that it would be necessary for her to leave after Easter, and although he was reluctant to see her go he was more than understanding about the position she was in.
'We shall miss you, Katie, but I didn't think we'd hang on to you this long,' he said warmly as she sat across the desk from him in his small office. 'And you know that there's always a place for you here.' The brown eyes smiled with real friendliness.
'Thank you.' His kindness had touched her. 'And I'll always be available to help out now and again once I'm married if anyone is sick. I'll let the office have my new address and telephone number.'
'That'd be useful but we know you've got a lot on your plate, what with your father and all.' Mr Mitchell patted her arm as she rose to leave. 'But if you wouldn't mind doing the odd bit of supply teaching in the future it would be a great back-up for us. Your fiancé wouldn't mind?'
'No, no, of course not.' Would Carlton object? she thought as she left the orderly little room and walked back to the general staffroom. She had no idea. She stopped still in the corridor as the full enormity of it all swept over her again. She didn't know him, what he thought, how he would behave as a husband…
She pushed the whirling thoughts back into the box she had kept them in for the last few days and closed the lid firmly. She wouldn't think about it now. All that would have to wait Just getting through each day was enough for the moment, what with the host of arrangements and plans to discuss each night and with her father expected home at the end of the week.
Carlton insisted on coming with her to fetch David the following Friday evening and she was glad of his hard male strength as they wheeled him to the Mercedes outside the main hospital doors. 'Damn fuss!' David White was red with anger at the ignominious position he had been forced into. 'There's nothing wrong with my legs.'
'It's not your legs we're worried about,' Carlton said mildly as he opened the passenger door and helped him into the car. 'And stop acting like such an idiot, David. You've had a couple of major heart attacks in as many days and you either knuckle down to good advice or you break your daughter's heart Which is it to be?'
Grey eyes met pale blue ones and neither was prepared to give an inch. As Katie watched them she felt a bubble of laughter for the first time in days. It looked as if her father had met his match at last The thought sobered her instantly.
Once he was home, Mrs Jenkins fussed around him, patently ignoring his baric and avoiding his bite, helping to establish him in his study, which she and Katie had converted to a bedsit over the last few days. Katie sat on the end of his bed while he ate a light supper.
'You do see it's better for you to avoid the stairs for the time being?' she asked him warily as Carlton walked in with a bottle of Scotch that made David's eyes light up. 'And this room is huge, and it looks on to the garden, and the cloakroom and loo are right next door—'
'All right, all right, all right…' He raised a hand in protest. 'I give in—for the moment,' he added quickly.
'And you promise you'll take your pills and rest?' She thought she might as well press the point while she had Carlton for back-up. 'It's important Dad.'
'He knows that.' Carlton had poured two hefty measures of whisky into two tumblers as she had been speaking and handed one across to him with a wry smile. 'He might be a cantankerous old so-and-so but he's not stupid.'
'Well, thank you.' David's voice dripped sarcasm. 'I was beginning to wonder if everyone thought my brain was addled as well as my body.' But he accepted the whisky with a nod as Carlton sat down on an easy-chair by the side of the bed and stretched out his long legs.
'Should you have that?' Katie asked anxiously but as both men gave her a withering glance she acknowledged defeat, took her father's tray from the bed and left them to it.
Much later, after a short phone call to Jennifer, who was back in her flat in London and preparing to dash off the next day to the wilds of Scotland on some story or other, and after checking the guest list for the wedding, Katie was sitting finishing the wedding invitations when Carlton walked into the drawing-room. 'He's asleep.'
Ignoring the tightening in her body that his presence always induced, she lifted what she hoped was a calm face and smiled carefully, but it was hard not to betray what his big body, clothed casually in jeans and a black sweatshirt, did to her nerve-endings. 'Thank you for staying with him tonight, Carlton.'
'No problem.' He shrugged as he flung himself down in a chair opposite the large sofa, where she was sitting with the invitations spread around her. 'I thought he needed some sort of normality after all those days in hospital so we chatted about business and so on.' His eyes were fixed on her face. 'He's totally accepted our explanation, by the way, even congratulated me again on acquiring you for my future bride. He hoped I realised that I was the luckiest man this side of heaven.' Her eyes shot to his face and Carlton smiled easily.
'Did he say that?' she asked with a painful casualness that wasn't lost on him.
He nodded slowly. 'That he did,' he said softly. 'Do you want to know how I replied?'
The room had become still, very still, and she found she was holding her breath as she looked into the dark, handsome face opposite her. 'I—' But then she jumped violently at the shrill intrusion of the telephone ringing loudly at her side and lifted the receiver to the sound of Carlton's muttered curse in the background.
'Yes.'
'Katie, is that you?' It was Joseph's voice. 'Is Carlton still with you? There's some emergency or other with his American office.'
'Just a minute.' As she handed the telephone to Carlton she rose quickly, scattering invitations over the floor. 'Would you like a coffee?' she asked quickly.
'Fine,' he nodded before speaking into the receiver and she left the room quickly as though the devil himself were on her heels. There had been something in his face during those last few seconds, something dangerously hypnotising. Was that how he looked at his other women before he made love to them?
She found that she was clenching her hands tightly against her side and forced herself to relax them slowly, finger by finger. But he'd said that once married to her he would be faithful. Did she believe that? She toyed with the question as she busied herself fixing the coffee. She really didn't know. What if he fell in love with someone else? The thought caused her heart to jump violently. What would he do then?
'Why such a deep frown?' She nearly jumped out of her skin as his voice sounded just behind her, and turned to see him leaning in the doorway, his hands thrust into his jeans pockets and his dark eyes glittering as they wandered over the soft gold of her hair.
'Carlton, what if—?' She stopped abruptly. She had almost been going to say 'you'. 'What if either of us falls in love with someone else?' she asked quickly, before she lost her nerve. 'What happens then?'
He straightened, anger darkening his eyes and stiffening his body as he moved to stand in front of her 'Is this a rhetorical question or is there something you're trying to tell me?' he asked softly as he lifted her chin to look into the soft greeny brown of her eyes, his mouth hard.
'No, I'm not trying to say anything,' she protested quickly. He smelt good; he smelt so, so good. 'I just wondered—'