I laugh, glad for the comic relief. I’m so glad to have made a good friend here.
She seems to think he wanted to be with me but that I didn’t want it, yet every time I press, asking if she knows anything, she says no, of course not. Part of me hopes he has confided in her, but apparently, he has not.
And why would he? It would be very unprofessional for him to divulge his private life to the firm receptionist, especially when that private life involves his having had sex with a female employee. I guess I still had hoped he might have, because he didn’t seem to make the best professional decisions.
I convince myself that it’s not to be, but I can’t believe how easily he seems to have gotten over me. It’s like in high school when you finally sleep with the jerk and he never calls, but this wasn’t high school. We are both adults. Still, I assure myself it’s for the best.
I wish I could talk to one of my other new friends about the situation, but I’m afraid of their reactions. I don’t want to get Garrett in trouble, even accidentally. Plus, they have bigger news to pay attention to. Ruby has had her baby.
I call and congratulate her, and she sounds tired, like all new mothers probably do.
“Thanks, Carolina,” she mumbles, sleepily. “We’ll have to catch up soon.”
“Of course,” I tell her, knowing that my issue with Garrett takes a seat on the far back burner compared to her new arrival.
Every time I see Madilyn and Katie, they’re talking about Ruby’s and Cameron’s baby: telling me what the little one is up to and how long labor took and a bunch of other facts that scare me. Sure, I’m happy for Ruby, but I’ll be even happier once my period comes, as I can’t even imagine going through all of that.
***
As another week passes following our encounter, I try to immerse myself into my work and I refuse to think about Garrett in any way but professionally.
He doesn’t make that an easy goal. I sometimes find him sitting at his desk with his office door open, gazing at me as I sit at my desk with my office door open— which is the way I usually have it unless I’m on the phone or in a meeting, in case he needs anything— typing briefs or making phone calls.
If I meet his gaze, he turns away as though he hasn’t just been staring at me. Yet, when I’m near him, whereas in the past he had joked around with me and been friendly, he is now professional to the point that it’s painful.
Finally, after another week of trying to decipher his odd behavior, I can’t shake the feeling of humiliation. I’m so embarrassed that I’d had sex with my boss and now he’s ignoring me. I forward my resignation to Katie, since she’s in charge of all the staff, and I BCC Erin, with whom I’ve been discussing this decision.
She says not to do that— that he’s in love with me but doesn’t know how to show it. But I’ve had enough of playing the in between game. I quit, not even able to face Garrett to say goodbye.
Chapter 23 – Carolina
The day after I quit, Erin calls me at home.
“Girl, you have got to be kidding me. I can’t believe you really went through with quitting. You were so wrong about him. He can’t concentrate on business or anything. I overheard him talking to his brother Bob— actually, don’t tell him, but I patched in to listen.”
I can’t help but laugh. Typical Erin.
“Bob, his brother, stopped by, and I listened in like in a conference. Bob told him he needs to get over you. He said that he should be happy you left and to let it go, that it could be a case for sexual harassment, blah, blah, blah.”
I can imagine Erin tapping her long red fingernails on the reception desk as she says this. By now, Claude is on the secret—we can never keep anything from him for long—and I’m sure he’s in the background shaking his head, saying, “You straight people. Just talk to each other already.”
I can’t believe how much I already miss working at the firm. But I had to do what I did; it was for the best.
“Bob kept saying, ‘Let it go. Thank your guardian angel that she left with peace and on good terms. And you are a handsome dude. You never have a problem with women.’ Or something to that effect,” Erin continues. “‘There are other fish in the sea,’ blah, blah, blah… And that he never had any problems, Garrett didn’t, catching any before you.”
My eyes squint in anger, wishing I could tell off this brother of Garrett’s. How dare he not recognize how important and unique I am?
But Erin goes on, and I let her because I don’t want to sound pathetic. Plus, I want to hear what else had happened.
“Bob then gave Garrett a bit of a lesson,” Erin says. “He was all, ‘Look at the bright side bro, you will have learned your lesson not to mix work with pleasure the next time.’”
Now, Erin’s full on talking like Bob and Garrett, using different tones of voice to express how each one talks, and I’m having trouble hearing her over my own laughter.
“Finally, Bob insisted to a silent Garrett, ‘Look, I’m warning you. Don’t chase after her or you will be in even more trouble with the partners. You’re smarter than this, man,’” Erin continues. “All I could hear from Garrett was a lot of groaning, like he didn’t want to hear what Bob was saying. Honestly, I know I’m not an expert on men, since I can’t even find any worth my time to date, but I think he might be in love with you, Carolina.”
I sigh, but I’m not sure I believe her.
Still, over the next several days, despite how much effort as I put into it, I could not forget Garrett. My focus is in the right place. I’m consumed with finding a new position.
Thankfully, the partners and Katie said a reference would be assured. They didn’t ask why I had left, and I didn’t offer a reason. They might have correctly assumed the situation, and if so, they’re probably glad I left without drama. Garrett might not care about me, but I care enough about him to not endanger his job.
Dread is beginning to set in, as well as feelings of stupidity that I had once again left a job without any other income. How foolish could I be, quitting without having something else lined up after working so hard to start my new life?
Then, just as I’m losing all hope, Garrett calls. As if reading my mind, he tells me to come in because he has a friend who would like to hire me. He says he would be willing to introduce me.
I’m in no position to turn him down. Even as I weakly resist the offer, he says he had decided to help me get a new job because it was the least he could do. I mean, truly, how can I argue with that?
Then, he says, “I wish we could be together. I miss you so much, Carolina. I wish it was meant to be. But I know it’s impossible. Still…”
I cry silently, just like I did on his chest in his office, but this time I don’t let on.
He’s right. We just aren’t meant to be. It’s time to move on with my life.
Chapter 24 – Garrett
It’s been agonizing, not having Carolina around. I miss her scent, the sound of her voice, her laughter. I honestly miss her help. A floater has been filling in for me, but it’s not the same.
One by one the partners come to my office— except for Cameron, who is out on paternity leave. Ruby just had a baby and he’s at home taking care of both of them.
I can’t help but wonder what that would be like. I came so close to accidentally getting Carolina pregnant. In hindsight, it was such a stupid thing to have happened. I know to keep a condom on me at all times. Even though I hadn’t been playing the field since I met her, it hadn’t been that long that I’d been out of the game.
Perhaps, I wonder, the way that all happened was my way to try to keep her forever, as mine. It makes no sense, but a baby ties two people together for all eternity. I’ve never been much for words, but maybe the universe was trying to put into motion that which I wasn’t strong enough to fucking do on my own.
“It’s good that Carolina left without making a fuss,” says Asher, as he comes to my office. “It would have been a lot for the firm to deal with.”
“You said in your text that you knew Madilyn was the one,” I tell him. “And she was your subordinate. Why couldn’t Carolina have been the one for me?”
“Oh Garrett, don’t talk like that,” he says, rolling his eyes and insulting me even more. “It was different for Madilyn and me.”
“How so?” I demand.
“Well, Madilyn and I are still together, for one thing,” he shoots back at me, and he does have a point. “If you and Carolina were meant to be, wouldn’t she still be here?”
I shrug, and I don’t think of the perfect comeback until Ron is on the phone.
“Hey, I just wanted to let you know I feel you on what you’re going through with Carolina,” he says, a baby wailing in the background. “Even if I can’t be there to support you, I’m thinking of you from home.”
“No sweat,” I tell him, and then I realize that what Asher says doesn’t always apply. “But Ruby left when you two were dating, right?”
“Sure,” Cameron sighs, and I know he’s going to tell me the same thing that Asher had just told me. It’s different for them. It’s always different for everyone else.
“How did you know to go after her?” I ask him. “How did you know she was the one?”
“When you know, you just know,” he says, and then he seems to catch himself. “I sure never would have let her quit without going after her.”
His unspoken accusation hangs in the air.
…Like you did with Carolina.
So because she didn’t stay, and because I didn’t go after her right away, I guess they’re saying we weren’t meant to be. But I feel that they’d throw up some obstacle or excuse or roadblock, no matter what. They just want to make sure I’m done with her and the firm is safe.
Even my dad stops by my office. His senility has advanced to the point where I’m surprised he even knows where it is.
“Good job, Son,” he says, patting me on the back. “I knew you wouldn’t let some broad come in between you and this amazing career opportunity.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I say, and he smiles, not paying any attention to my sarcasm.
That’s when I decide to hook Carolina up with another job. If I can’t have her, it’s not fair to make her suffer. I have the power to give her a smooth career transition and that’s the least I can do, since she moved out here to work for me and I’ve gone and fucked that up.
My dad’s right. I can’t jeopardize my career, especially not when I’m unsure how Carolina feels about me. If she was as into me as I am her, she never would have quit.
So I call up my friend and get her another job. It’s time to move on and stop moping. This is not the Garrett Mack everyone knows and loves. I’ve got to get him back, even if that means forgetting about Carolina Abbott. If such a thing is even possible.
Chapter 25 – Carolina
The following Monday, I go to Garrett’s office dressed in my best suit. The new job is going to be mine if I have to steal it. Garrett looks amazing. I hadn’t expected to be so affected by seeing him, but my reaction is instantaneous and visceral, and I have to fight back tears.
I remain stoic as he introduces me to the female lawyer who is hiring an assistant at her small firm. Honestly, I hear nothing but “You can start next Monday,” and I shake her hand and exhale.
Garrett looks relieved.
“Listen, I am happy for you,” he says, giving me a pat on the shoulder. “Karen is a top-notch attorney. You’ll enjoy working for her, and she’s lucky to have you as part of her team.”
But he looks sad, and it does feel like the end of a chapter, if not an entire book.
“And hey, it’s close to dinner. Can I buy you buy some grub? No funny business— just friends. Let me take you for some quick nosh. Come on, you need to celebrate.”
I’m so relieved, so I say, “Okay, why not?”
And honestly, it isn’t like it mattered any more. But just as we sit down at Casa Rosarita, I feel the spark. It had not gone anywhere. In fact, it had grown more intense. I could deny it all I wanted, but I still feel something for him, and I now I feel like a fool.
He grabs my hand across the table. It’s light. We’re joking. By the end of the dinner, he’s more fearless now, kissing my neck.
Suddenly, he says, “Look, we may as well go for it. This is probably the last time we’ll see each other. And it’s not like anyone can say I’m screwing my employee any more.”
I laugh, but when I don’t say yes or no, he tries another angle.
“Every couple needs to have farewell sex, right?”
I laugh again.
The next thing I know, we’re at Hotel Albuquerque and he’s tearing my clothes off. He lays me down on the bed and his tongue makes circles around my nipple. Then he moves to the other nipple.
He heads down to where my legs part anxiously for him, while his fingers still play with my nipples, stroking and rubbing them. I lift my hips up and allow him to devour my pussy, his tongue darting in and out of my hole and then all around my clit as he fingers me.
“Oh, my God, that feels so good,” I tell him, so glad to be reliving what we did on our very first sexual encounter. “I’m coming. Garrett, I’m coming.”
He picks me up and carries me out onto the balcony. He sets me on the railing while my legs stay wrapped close around him. The sensation of feeling as if I could fall, combined with wondering if anyone can see us, is arousing. I realize it’s the first time we’ve ever had sex somewhere besides his office.
He grabs ahold of my ass and pushes his cock into me. Neither of us even mentions a condom this time. I guess our relationship has progressed passed that point: we’ve been there, done that, and still feel the embarrassment to prove it.
He stretches me out over the night sky, pulling my hair back so that I’m looking up at the stars as his cock juts in and out of me. I hold on tight to his legs with mine, as his free hand grabs my ass.
Then he pulls me back up and plays with my clit again, making me come all over his hand and his cock. He grunts, saying, “Carolina, I love… the way you make me come,” as he shoots his cum into my pussy.
I hold tight onto his neck as he carries me back into the bed. Time had frozen for a second, as I truly believed he was going to say he loved me.
But it doesn’t matter, it’s still a lovely time we’re having together. The night turns into morning and we spent it having sex numerous times, drifting off to sleep off and on. He doesn’t come close to saying he loves me again, and I being to wonder if it was all in my imagination. If this was our last time together— make that multiple times together— I guess we insisted on making it memorable.
The next day we go our separate ways, and I know we both feel satisfied about the encounter. We’re ending on a much higher note than we had before.
I have no regrets, but there are things I wish I had said to him that I can’t. Such as the fact that I think both of us are being stupid for not just saying what’s on our mind. The whole thing never had to end this way. But if he feels the same, he doesn’t dare bring it up, and neither do I.
The score is even now, and we’re both losing. But we’re losing a little less than the last time we parted.
Chapter 26 – Garrett
I can’t get enough of Carolina. I can’t let this be the end. I have to take her one more time. Or two or three.
I follow her and she pulls over once she notices me signaling wildly to her.
“What?” she says, rolling down her window on the side of I-25 and laughing.
“I need to see you again,” I tell her, shouting out to her in her car.
“When?” she asks.
“Right now! We still have the room until check out at noon. Let’s make good use of our goodbye time.”
It’s a chickenshit way to say it. Really I don’t want to say goodbye to her at all. But I’m just trying to get her to say yes to being with me a little longe
r.
“That’s what all your crazy waving at me was about?” she asks. “Why didn’t you just call or text me?”
I hadn’t even though about that. I am so out of sorts when I’m around her.
“I thought it would be funnier this way,” I tell her, because I don’t want to admit the truth.
She laughs and says, “Okay, let’s go back, then.”
Yes. We head back to the hotel room, her car following mine, and I want to do a victory dance, but I refrain.
I know I looked pathetic chasing her down like that, but I can’t help it. She makes me do crazy, senseless, out of my normal mind type of things. And I don’t even care because I love the way she makes me feel.
I’m so glad to be back with Carolina again, free of workplace expectations or office policies. I no longer care about anything except having her in my arms.
Being around her intoxicates me, enthralls me, turns me on in a way I'd never known before. Now that we’re in the hotel room, I can’t wait to do everything and anything I want with her, including making passionate love to her. I just want to ravish her to my heart's— and my cock's— content.
After we’ve had sex several times, I wait until I’m ready to go again. Then I pick her up and carry her to the bed, but instead of laying her down on it, I turn her around and place her on her hands and knees, her beautiful ass in the air.
I remove her clothes until she is only wearing her heels and her panties. This is exactly how I always imagine and remember her in my fantasies, how I used to wish she always could have been at the office.
I squeeze her ass and admire its perfectly round curves. Then, I look down at my cock, which is standing at attention for her.
I pullher panties to the side and shoved my fingers deep into her pussy.
“I can see that you’re still dripping wet for me,” I tell her.
Take Me, Boss: A Bad Boy Office Romance Page 61