by Gini Koch
“Yet. The Lizzie-Bots are heading for everyone. But it’s worse. I think there’s a Kitty-Bot of some kind loose inside the school. I need you to find it and destroy it before it does any more damage.”
“We can’t leave Jeff here.”
“You can and you will. This is a job for you guys—you know I’m outside. No one else does. Take Manfred and Kyle and get going.”
“I don’t think the three of us can defeat a Bot with the weapons we have.”
“Then take Naveed, Joseph, and Rob with you, too. Take whoever other than Lizzie, Wasim, Paul, and Jeff. If you see a Kitty or a Lizzie, kill them without hesitation. That’s a direct order. The flyboys would follow that order—will you?”
With that I hung up. Called Christopher. “Where are you?” he asked without preamble.
“Outside, where I think you and Team Tough Guys need to be. The Lizzie-Bots are going to overrun the Science Center and the school. We need the Flash. And get the flyboys into the air shooting every Bot they can find. There are hundreds of them.”
“The Bots can’t get inside.”
“Yes, they can. I’d thought they’d brought a suction tool with them, but I think they have suction cups on their hands and feet. It’s how they’re climbing like creepy spiders right now. We have at least one inside and, crap! Gotta go. Do what I said!” Hung up and grabbed Mossy. “We have to get to that open door.”
He turned back into a Turleen Pod, I jumped on, and we raced off, zooming around the corners at top speed. This would have been totally fun if we weren’t in a life-and-death situation. Which was, basically, my statement for most of the things that had happened to me since meeting my first alien. Good thing said first alien was both the hottest thing on two legs and confirmed to be unharmed.
Reached the open door just before a set of Lizzie-Bots got there, made sure none were inside that I could see, and slammed the door shut. And now it was the fun of hand-to-hand combat against things that appeared to be quadruple-jointed and I knew to be hella strong and close to impossible to destroy without a rocket launcher. Which I didn’t have. Could ask my purse for it, but that seemed iffy, and Mossy would absolutely notice.
“Get out of our way,” they all said in unison. Yep, regular people unison would never really bother me again.
“Nope.” Saw an explosion in the distance. Sincerely hoped the Turleens had brought the missile down before it hit anything or anyone. Then I was swarmed by Lizzie-Bots and was too busy fighting to pay attention to too much else.
CHAPTER 56
MOSSY AND I did our best to keep our backs to the door—protection for us and it kept the Lizzie-Bots out. For now.
But these Bots didn’t fight as I was used to. They didn’t fight like Lizzie fought, either. They were jerky and smooth at the same time and I wasn’t getting their rhythm. Even though I was actually moving far faster than the Bots were, I wasn’t connecting with them, but they were certainly managing to hit me.
My music changed to Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5” and before I could even question why I actually started moving to the beat because it was so darned peppy that I couldn’t help it. And dodged several hits. Listened to the lyrics—jumped, ducked, stepped right or left when the song said and, voila, missed more hits.
Chose not to ask why. Clearly the Bots were programmed to fight in a kind of double syncopated rhythm, which pretty much no human or A-C would normally do and, as the song rolled into repeat, realized it was also a lot like the beats when you were riding a horse.
Mossy saw that I was having results and he imitated my movements. It was like we were in a competitive dance and fight competition. Dancing with the Killer Bots. If you didn’t get a good score from the judges you’d be destroyed by the Bots. Maybe it would catch on.
The Bots weren’t programmed to switch it up, or else they didn’t realize we were fighting them more successfully than we should be able to. Of course, we were mostly in defensive mode, but the song was really great for this.
Turleens returned, saw what was going on, landed, and started fighting. Only they didn’t have the song in their ears or me right next to them to watch. Heard the music go louder somehow, and suddenly the other Turleens seemed to catch on. Risked a look into my purse—yep, my iPod was going and the speakers were on high. Lou Bega’s only hit was working its magic once again, and my phone and iPod were, thankfully, synced so the beats didn’t change for me.
The other Turleens got into it in a big way and were working in groups of two, three, and four. Time for team synchronized dance-fighting! Sincerely hoped for two things—that we’d manage to stop all these Lizzie-Bots and that no one would see us.
Some of these Lizzie-Bots tried for leaping up onto the walls and climbing, but the Turleens beat them down by landing on the Bots’ shoulders and then hopping in time to the song’s beat. Then, once those Bots were on the ground, the Turleens kept on dancing on their backs. It seemed to work. At least, those Bots didn’t get up again.
Muddy landed on my other side from Mossy. “Interesting choice,” he said as we all did the steps that got us out of harm’s way and then were able to hit our opponents.
“Dude, I live my life by one code and one code only—whatever works.”
“I thought it was going with the crazy,” Mossy said, as we all did the roll your hands over each other while bending down and stepping forward move that meant the Lizzie-Bots’ hits went over our heads but we were able to hit their torsos with our shoulders.
“Not my fault the crazy is what always seems to work.” Did rising elbows when Bega sang the word “trumpet.” Knocked two Lizzie-Bots back. This song was great. Realized it had been far too long since Jeff and I had gotten to go dancing. Then again, it was rare for the President and First Lady to get to get down and boogie. Decided to do my best to enjoy this.
More Bots came around the two corners. Well, presumed that’s where they’d come from. The building was so huge it was hard to be sure. But they seemed to be on the run. Not a problem, Kitty and the Turleens were showing off their smooth moves. We just added in the new Bots to the program without a lot of issue.
My phone rang. Was truly thankful that the iPod was going. “What? Kind of busy here.”
“Where are you?” William asked, thankfully foregoing titles. “Our agents can’t get through these Bots to get to the school. We’re taking a lot of hits. We’ve managed to keep them from getting inside the Science Center, but that’s about it.”
There was nothing for it. “Um, put Lou Bega’s “Mambo Number Five” on the sound system and blast that sucker as loudly as you can. If you can pipe it into or at least around the school, do so.”
There was silence while I did a sweep in time to the music. Anything worked, as long as I could keep to the beat. “Excuse me? Kitty, are you alright?”
“Yes, I am, and the Turleens and I are kind of winning our particular fight. William, just do it, that’s a FLOTUS order and all that jazz. And do it fast. I know you have the music, I programmed my iPod to update into the Science Center.” Because I never wanted to be without tunes and we had the capability to do this. I might not know how the gates really worked, but if it related to the ability to have music with me at all times, I was the go-to girl. And right now, the go-go girl, too.
“Yes, ma’am.” Heard the music come blaring out what sounded like all over, meaning William had managed to get the song to play at the school as well. And since I knew Algar had taken the wheel, the song started up perfectly with what was coming out of my purse.
“Now, tell the agents to move to the beat. If they can possibly not move to this beat.”
Heard William share that order. “It’s working!” He sounded totally shocked. Not that I could blame him.
“Don’t film this.”
“I’d imagine that’s too late, since you have press at the school.”
“Super. Then don’t allow anyone to share the film. Gotta concentrate,” Bega had just told me to put my hand on the ground and I didn’t want to miss my cues. “Call if you need me, otherwise, make sure that if anyone finds a Kitty in either building that they get rid of her as fast as possible. I’m outside, in case you weren’t sure.”
“Got it and on it.” William disconnected. My music started up again.
The Turleens were really quite good at the mambo. Wondered if I could send a tape of us to Kenny Ortega for consideration in his next musical production but figured that I didn’t need any more impetus for anyone to think Code Name: First Lady was a good idea. Though the Mambo Turtles had a cute ring to it.
Bots were down and staying down. Sure, we had lots more, but any down was a good thing. And still we mamboed on.
A thought occurred. Probably should have occurred to me sooner, but hey, I was busy dancing to save the world. “Muddy, we need to be sure that these Bots aren’t making it over the glass walls.”
“They aren’t. I checked before I came to assist you. Most of them diverted when people came out of the Science Center. Though I don’t understand why.”
“I do. They have a Kitty-Bot inside the school. This is all distraction.”
“It’s effective. Why aren’t you inside?”
“I delegated.”
“You’re capable of that?” He sounded like he was about to tell me to pull the other one.
Was about to give him a snide reply when the doors opened, shoving the three of us to the sides. Jumped back to stop whoever from doing whatever, but, happily, it wasn’t a Kitty- or Lizzie-Bot that had opened the doors.
It was Jeff.
Jeff grabbed my hand and swung me out of the way of a Bot hit. To the beat. “I see we’re doing things a little differently today.” He grinned and spun me, which moved me out of the way and his free hand into the face of an attacking Bot.
We mamboed together side-by-side. “Where are the kids?”
“They’re locked in with Paul, Naveed, Jenkins, and Dion. I know you suggested Naveed go help hunt down infiltrating Bots, but he refused to leave Wasim and, under the circumstances, I had to admit he was right. The others have orders to kill anything that appears to be you or Lizzie and they’re on the hunt.”
“Richard isn’t with the kids?”
“No, Missus Martini, because I, too, enjoy dancing.” White came out mamboing all the way and took out two Bots at once.
“Mister White, it’s good to be boogying with you.” Now we all did the hand roll, bend, and hit with the shoulder thing. “I’m amazed you guys know these moves.”
“We watched you,” White said. “The school and the Science Center both have perimeter cameras.”
“Ah.” What else, really, was there to say? Presumably William hadn’t mentioned it because he was planning to sell the footage or something. Or else realized it didn’t matter. Had to vote for the latter on that one.
“You’re getting results, baby, and that’s what matters. I don’t even want to know how you thought of it, but it was inspired. It was interesting to see Christopher, Buchanan, and Siler doing this. Kevin and Wruck are naturals, though.”
“Good to know. I wish James was here. He’d be awesome at this. Tim, too. Though you two are really representing.”
“Thanks for that. And don’t worry. The flyboys never got off the ground, and all five of them are making you proud around the front of the school.”
“How did they get there?”
“Christopher took time out from his learning of this new dance craze to get them over to where they were requested,” White said as we all put a hand on the ground and sent rising kicks up into Bot stomachs.
“What about the others?”
As I asked this, Adam, Raj, and the Kristie-Bot appeared, moving immediately into their team mambo routine.
“What are Adam and Kristie doing here?”
“Helping,” the Kristie-Bot said. “And, this is going to be a great scene when the movie series gets to it!” Had to give her this—she was enthused, and that was indeed something.
The reinforcements helped a lot. The Lizzie-Bots were leaping for the walls, but the Turleens knocked them down and the rest of us mamboed them into submission. In less time than I’d have thought we had the last Lizzie-Bot trampled on the ground.
“Where are Len, Kyle, Joseph, Rob, Manfred, Mister Joel Oliver, and Gadhavi?”
“Hopefully destroying whatever infiltrated,” Jeff replied.
The song ended and the music stopped. “I guess we stopped all the Bots.” Or someone had stopped the music because it was helping us. Was about to suggest we get inside and start searching pronto, when something rolled out through the doorway.
A severed head.
CHAPTER 57
EVERYONE JUMPED as the head rolled quickly, bounced twice, and came to a stop at my feet. It was my head.
Or, rather, my robotic head. The neck had wires hanging out of it and the eyes were definitely glassy, as in made of glass or some other silica that resembled human eyes.
“And that is how we deal with those who oppose us,” Gadhavi roared as he barreled out, robes flying, waving a crowbar around like it was a sword.
Len and Kyle were right behind him. They each had a Bot arm and leg. He tucked the crowbar into the belt around his waist as the boys tossed the Bot limbs onto the ground, then high-fived both of them at the same time. Joseph and Rob came out carrying the rest of the Bot body. They tossed it onto one of the many Bot piles. Then they, too, got high fives from Gadhavi.
Manfred and Oliver arrived now. “The rest of the facility is secured,” Manfred shared, which earned him his Gadhavi High-Five.
“And press is contained as well,” Oliver added, presumably to ensure he didn’t miss out on his high-five, which he did not. “As are the visiting dignitaries.”
“Well done everyone,” Gadhavi roared. He was clearly having a great time. So were the other guys with him. Obviously this had been a much needed and happy team-building experience for all. Actively chose not to notice that they’d team-built by destroying my effigy.
“Um, go you guys and all that. But where did you find this Kitty-Bot and how are you sure all’s secured inside?”
“We’re secured because William sent all the Field agents in the school to guard all the outer doors,” Manfred shared. “Even though the doors open out, we have other ways of locking and barricading the doors so that they won’t open no matter what. The Field teams got those locks and barricades in place, then stayed there, to ensure that nothing could get in. Several teams were just in time, but there were no breaches other than this door.”
“Great news. Is that how you found this particular Kitty-Bot?”
“We found her exactly where Mister Joel Oliver expected her to be,” Gadhavi shared. He looked to Oliver expectantly.
Oliver gave Gadhavi a little bow. “Once Mister Gadhavi made the good point that the many Bots were likely there as a distraction, I assumed that the goal would relate to some form of sabotage and takeover versus destruction. President Martini shared that you’d found an opened door that led to the Operations area. And Mister Parker shared that you hadn’t found the infiltrator. Meaning she was looking for something and it wasn’t in the Operations Section.”
“Makes sense. So where was she?”
“With the press and the rest of the visiting alien and human dignitaries,” Oliver said, as if this was obvious. “Nothing says ‘don’t trust anyone from Earth’ like the First Lady murdering important people in front of the press corps at the Intergalactic School on the first day of school, when all the offspring of every alien who’s come to Earth are hundreds to thousands of miles away from their parents and others from their race.”
“Wow. So, she was there?”
“Yes, and just about to s
tart mayhem when we arrived. Mister Gadhavi was quite impressive.”
“I’ll bet. Where did you find that crowbar?” I asked him.
Gadhavi shrugged. “Each section has a small Operations and Maintenance area. We checked the one nearest to the stairway we used to get down from the roof. There weren’t a lot of options for weapons, but crowbars are effective in many ways.”
“True enough. So, did you beat her to death, so to speak, in front of the press?”
“No,” Len said. “She ran. Mister Joel Oliver and Manfred stayed to explain what was really going on. The rest of us took off after her.”
“The Bots don’t have hyperspeed, which has always been a freaking blessing. But they’re fast.”
Kyle gave me the “really?” look. “We’re agents, Kitty. All of us. And Mister Gadhavi keeps in shape, trust us. Len’s the fastest of us, he got to her first and did a great tackle. Especially for a quarterback.”
Len grinned. “Kyle’s a lot faster than he looks, too.”
“Then it was a matter of all of us getting her contained,” Gadhavi said.
“We each grabbed a limb and pulled,” Joseph said.
“That’s the approved Bot Destruction Method I believe Wruck, Nightcrawler, and I perfected during Operation Madhouse, yes.”
“Then Mister Gadhavi beheaded her with the crowbar,” Rob added.
“Well played. So, she was running for the exit she knew about?” They all nodded. “Why? Why not try to blend in?”
“Because she’s a robot,” Oliver said. “You’re thinking of a human response.”
“An android would have tried to blend, too.” Yet more circumstantial evidence that suggested that the Christopher-Bots, both First and Second, were not actually sentient but had been programmed to do exactly what they’d done and said. And yet, the Kristie-Bot was doing things that indicated total free will, meaning that the Rattoppare Cyborg Method might honestly be as advertised.
“True enough,” Oliver said. “But that’s why Manfred and I were here so shortly after the others—we took another educated guess for where to go.”