‘Wh-what are you doing?’
‘What do you think?’ His breath was warm on her mouth as he bent towards her.
‘Do…do you think it’s a good idea?’ she whispered, almost groaning out loud at her tongue’s perversity. She didn’t want to argue! She wanted him to kiss her! So what was going on?
‘Probably not. But let’s live dangerously, shall we?’
His lips touched hers, skated across their surface, then moved away. Meg opened her eyes, not sure when she had actually closed them. The kiss had been too brief for conscious thought so unconsciously she must have reacted to it.
She bit her lip as she saw the heat simmering in Jack’s eyes and knew what it meant. He wanted to kiss her again—a real kiss this time, not that teasing taster which had left her aching for more. But was it wise to let this happen when she wasn’t sure why he’d kissed her in the first place?
‘Too dangerous for you, Meg? Afraid that you’ll regret it in the morning?’ He shook his head so that a lock of crisp black hair fell onto his forehead. ‘That doesn’t seem like you. Last night I’d have said very little would scare you.’
‘That was last night and it was different then,’ she muttered.
‘Different…how? You kissed me then, granted, but it was just as…effective.’ His smile was gentle, relaxed and at ease, yet it was so out of character for him to behave this way that she couldn’t accept it at face value.
‘Yes, I kissed you, but I soon realised that all my good intentions had been completely misconstrued!’
‘Good intentions? Mmm, that sounds ominous. Here was I thinking that you’d been overcome with desire, and all the time it was your good intentions which had prompted you to do it.’
There was a slight grate to his voice and a tiny flaring of his nostrils which hinted at the fact that the idea didn’t please him, and she hid a smile. What a typically male reaction! It was all very well if he’d kissed her as some sort of punishment but something else entirely that she might have had another agenda than the one he’d assumed.
‘That’s the sort of caring person I am, though, Jack.’ She shrugged, rather enjoying the fact that she could pay him back just a little for all he’d put her through. ‘Seeing you like that made me want to do something to shake you out of it.’
‘Like what? What was I like?’ He sat back and folded his arms, his body language telling her that he wasn’t pleased by her revelations. Meg experienced a momentary qualm but all day long she’d wanted to get this out into the open and talk about it. Now was her chance to do exactly that.
‘All turned in on yourself, of course. All your emotions buttoned up and locked away. You can’t live like that, Jack. It isn’t right.’ She turned to him beseechingly. ‘You have to let yourself feel otherwise you aren’t really alive!’
He gave a short, harsh laugh which made her flinch because she could hear the pain it contained. ‘I tried that, thank you. I felt every emotion under the sun when I was married to Briony and I think I’ll pass on that sort of experience again. I try not to repeat my worst mistakes.’
He stood up abruptly but Meg leapt to her feet as well, plonking herself directly in his path when he tried to walk away. ‘That’s a coward’s way out, Jack Trent!’
‘So what if it is? At least it means that I can direct all my energy towards things that matter. Love takes a toll on you, Meg, if you haven’t found that out for yourself. It saps your will to get on with your life.’
It was such a stark idea that she felt her eyes fill with tears. ‘That isn’t true! OK, so you’ve had one bad experience but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again. It’s like…like falling off a horse and refusing to get back on in case it happens a second time!’
‘Mmm, probably a bit more painful than that, although I appreciate what you’re trying to say. It’s just a pity that I have no intention of taking your well-meaning advice. Love isn’t for me, Meg. I’ve had all I want or need of it to last me a couple of lifetimes.’
Meg couldn’t stop the tears from flowing then. She knew she was making a fool of herself but she couldn’t help it. She heard Jack mutter something as he drew her into his arms but she wasn’t sure what he’d said.
‘Don’t cry, Meg. It’s not worth crying about, believe me. It’s over and done with and that’s the end of it.’ His tone was rough yet strangely gentle at the same time, and somehow it made her cry all the harder. She heard him sigh as he held her closer. ‘Shh, now. Don’t be silly.’
‘It’s…not…silly,’ she gulped between sobs. ‘It’s…it’s…Oh, I don’t know what it is!’
She tipped her head back so that she could glare at him, and saw his eyes darken as he took stock of her tear-streaked face. A look of indecision crossed his face before he suddenly bent and his lips were so tender when they found hers that Meg’s heart seemed to stop.
He gave a husky murmur, although whether from pleasure or regret she wasn’t sure, before he suddenly deepened the kiss and she was lost. The whole world seemed to tilt on its axis when she felt the burning assault of Jack’s mouth as he kissed her with every scrap of emotion he’d held back before.
Meg’s head was reeling from the aftershocks as wave after wave of emotion flooded through her. Every single human emotion seemed to be encompassed in the kiss—from passion to hatred, from anger to desire. Yet slowly they all receded like a high tide after a storm until there was only one left, perhaps the most precious of all. To have Jack kiss her as though he cared for her was the most shocking, the most sensual, the most wonderful feeling of all!
He let her go, slowly, reluctantly yet with deliberation. In the pale, hazy moonlight his face was just a shadow. Meg could feel her heart drumming inside her and knew that he could feel it as well. Maybe his was making the same sort of racket but she couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than her own feelings at that moment.
Jack brushed her mouth with his knuckles in the lightest of caresses, yet she almost cried out at the sensations it aroused in her. ‘If I was going to let myself fall in love again then I think it would be with someone like you, Meg.’
Her eyes blurred but she wouldn’t cry, not again. ‘Thank you…I think!’
It was such a pitiful attempt at humour but Jack smiled all the same. Maybe he sensed how much it had cost her and was grateful that she’d made the effort and hadn’t made a scene. ‘You’re welcome. Now I think it’s time we got some sleep, don’t you? We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.’
She almost broke down at that point—almost, but not quite. Any dreams she might have harboured as a result of that kiss hadn’t had time to settle in her mind, she assured herself. They were still at the what if stage, the hazy wouldn’t it be nice level, and that wasn’t enough to start making plans on. Yet even knowing that, it didn’t make it easy to dismiss what had happened. It took an awful lot of courage, plus a big dollop of pride, to feign indifference.
‘We certainly do. I’ll see you in the morning, then, Jack. Sweet dreams.’
The last bit came out before she could stop it and she saw him stiffen before he walked over to the Land Rover where he would be spending the night. Meg had opted to sleep in the hut to be near the little girl and she was glad that she had. She doubted that she was going to sleep much after what had happened, so it would be good to have something to occupy her mind.
The idea that Jack could—maybe, possibly—have loved her if the circumstances had been different was going to take a lot of getting used to!
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE little girl’s name was Katu and she was an orphan now that the grandmother who had cared for her had died. Meg listened sadly as Ben Lister, a volunteer who’d been working in the area for several months, explained the child’s background to them the following morning. He was one of the group who would be in charge of sinking the bore hole and he’d recognised the little girl as soon as he’d seen her.
‘She and her grandmother lived in the next village. I’d
heard that the old lady had taken the child to visit some of her relatives.’ Ben took off his spectacles and cleaned them abstractedly on the tail of his shirt. He had just finished university and was doing overseas aid work in a gap year before finding a job.
‘The old lady knew that she wouldn’t be around much longer, I imagine, and wanted one of her relations to take care of her granddaughter, but it looks as though they must have refused. You can’t blame them, really. Having another mouth to feed when you’re barely getting by isn’t something anyone would willingly opt to do.’
‘Well, at least it means that we won’t have to get anyone’s permission to treat her.’ Jack sighed as he looked at the child. ‘Not had much of a start in life, has she?’
Meg heard the sadness in his voice and hurried to cheer him up, wondering why she felt this need to comfort him all the time. Surprisingly enough, she’d passed a relatively peaceful night and hadn’t lain awake, worrying about what had happened.
Apart from getting up several times to check on Katu, her sleep had been uninterrupted by any soul-searching. Jack had kissed her, told her that if he’d been in the market for another love affair then she would have been top of the list, and she had slept the sleep of the just. There simply wasn’t any accounting for the way her mind worked, it seemed!
‘Maybe her luck is going to change from now on. After all, she must have someone on her side to have survived such an ordeal.’
Jack smiled thinly but there were dark circles under his eyes which told their own tale about the kind of night he’d had. ‘Ever the optimist, Meg?’
‘Better than being a pessimist, though,’ she shot back, inwardly groaning as she wondered if they were going to have round two that morning. Was she going to be made the scapegoat every time Jack gave a little and showed he was human? No way!
She treated him to her most chilly smile. ‘Right, I’m going to give Katu a bed-bath then I’ll be ready to help you. Is that OK?’
‘Dare I object?’ His grey eyes sparkled with sudden laughter and Meg relented. She smiled back at him with a lot more warmth and saw the flicker of emotion that crossed his face before he abruptly turned away with the muttered proviso that he wanted to get the show on the road in the next half-hour so she’d better hurry up.
Meg sighed as he and Ben went to round up the villagers. One step forward and half a step back. It was definitely slow progress, building up a relationship with Jack Trent! Maybe she should concentrate on making sure that his professional opinion of her stayed on the plus side and forget about anything personal.
That idea lasted as long as it took her to collect a bowl and pour some bottled water into it. Foolish or not, but she wanted Jack to think well of her in every way, although what she was hoping to achieve she wasn’t sure. Still, she would worry about that if and when the time came to make it necessary.
Katu was awake but obviously still very traumatised by her ordeal. She made no murmur when Meg gently washed her thin little body but her black eyes were enormous as they followed Meg around the hut.
Meg had no idea if the little girl could understand her. Some of the older Oncamban people had learned English at the mission schools which had been run by various Christian denominations in the past. They had been shut down during the previous ruler’s reign when the country had been off limits to foreigners.
The schools were gradually being set up again but whether Katu had been able to attend any of them was open to question. However, Meg didn’t let that deter her as she chatted away. Maybe the child couldn’t understand what she was saying but the tone of her voice would at least make it clear that there was no need for her to be frightened.
‘Now, I’m just going to check how your leg is doing,’ Meg explained, smiling at the little girl. ‘It won’t hurt, I promise.’
She gently peeled the dressing off the wound and was delighted to see how healthy the exposed tissue looked. Jack had been right to say that it would need a skin graft to heal completely, but that was something they would be able to consider once the little girl was stronger.
Ripping open a fresh packet of dressings, Meg re-dressed the wound. Katu solemnly watched what she was doing then held out her hand when Meg went to throw away the packaging in which the dressing had been wrapped.
‘Do you want this, sweetheart?’ Meg smiled as she handed the crackly paper to the child and watched her eyes light up. Katu crumpled the empty packet in her hand then smiled delightedly when it sprang back to its original shape the moment she released it.
Meg ran her hand over the little girl’s tight black curls and sighed softly. How many children would be fascinated by a bit of paper? she wondered. It just seemed to emphasise what a huge rift there was between the children in her world and the Oncamban children.
Katu was well enough to sip a little bottled water and some of the high-protein drink Meg had mixed for her. The child’s lips were so cracked and sore that Meg had to give her a straw to use, and once again Katu was fascinated by something she’d never seen before. Consequently, it all took some time, but when Meg went to find Jack she was feeling far more confident that the little girl would recover eventually.
‘How is she?’ Jack looked up when he heard her approaching. His face was in full sun and it was even more obvious how drawn he looked. There were deep lines grooved on either side of his mouth and knitting his brows. Meg felt suddenly impatient with him.
All right, so maybe he did regret kissing her last night and probably regretted opening up even more, but it wasn’t the crime of the century, for heaven’s sake! Yet he seemed intent on giving himself a hard time just because he was human!
‘Meg? Nothing’s happened, has it?’ He straightened abruptly, a look of concern crossing his face as he stared towards Katu’s hut. ‘She is all right?’
‘Yes, she’s fine. I’ve just given her something to eat.’ She sighed wearily, realising that Jack had misinterpreted her scowl. Suddenly she couldn’t face another day of pussyfooting around the issue which was uppermost on both their minds.
‘Look, Jack, about last night…’ she began but got no further before the sound of engines suddenly disturbed the peace and quiet. They both turned to see what was happening then Jack’s face suddenly broke into a huge smile.
‘Richard!’
Leaving Meg standing there, he strode over to greet the tall, handsome black man who jumped down from the cab of the lead truck. He was followed by half a dozen armed guards who quickly surrounded him, but he waved them back as he stepped forward to shake Jack’s hand. They spoke together for a couple of minutes before Jack brought the newcomer to meet Meg.
‘Meg, this is Richard whom I’ve been telling you about. He’s the reason why we happen to be here!’
‘I only made the request for help. You are the one who got things moving, Jack,’ Richard declared. He held out his hand, his face breaking into a warm smile. ‘I’m delighted to meet you, Meg. I want you to know how grateful I am to you and the rest of the people who have spared the time to come to my country and help us.’
‘It’s a pleasure,’ Meg replied sincerely, taking an immediate liking to him. He was as tall as Jack was, with gleaming black skin and a wonderful smile. He was dressed for work in no-nonsense chinos and a bush shirt, and couldn’t have looked less like her idea of the man in charge of the whole country. It was obvious that Richard preferred a hands-on approach, she decided bemusedly as he graciously excused himself and set about supervising the unloading of the machinery that would be used to dig the bore hole.
There was no time to return to their previous conversation as people were starting to arrive for their clinic by then, so Meg decided to put it on hold until later. They divided up the patients, with Jack taking the more serious cases so that he could assess who would benefit from surgery.
Meg dispensed tetracycline ointment and advice, explaining repeatedly how important it was that hands and faces were washed to avoid cross-contamination within families. Ben L
ister proved himself to be a great help by interpreting for those villagers who had trouble understanding them.
After they had seen all the people actually suffering from trachoma, Jack gathered the whole village together and went through the hygiene routine one more time. Every household had been asked to provide an old tin or plastic container with a small hole bored in it. When water was poured into the leaky tin, the trickle that emerged was sufficient to wash the hands and face with, as he demonstrated to everyone’s amusement. With water being so scarce, that was the biggest problem and this method, simple though it was, created very little wastage.
Meg was fascinated by it all and said so when Jack had finished. ‘How did you think up that idea? It’s brilliant!’
‘I can’t take credit for it, I’m afraid. I read about some trials that have been carried out with the Masai and took it from that. Evidently, it’s been extremely successful in cutting the number of cases of trachoma that occur within their community. Obviously, it needs follow-up care—someone to administer the antibiotics and keep a check, and so on—but that won’t be a problem here because Ben has volunteered to do it,’ he explained.
‘And once the villagers see the results for themselves, they will be all the keener to continue the routine?’ Meg said thoughtfully.
‘Exactly. Not to mention that the situation will ease a lot once that bore hole has been dug. When you live in England, you don’t realise just how precious water is!’ he added ruefully, making her laugh.
‘Mmm, I’ll remember that the next time we have an English summer!’
‘Count your blessings, Meg,’ Jack said lightly, gathering up his equipment to pack it away.
‘I will if you will.’ She wished she hadn’t said that, but it was impossible to take it back. Jack’s brows winged upwards.
Touched by Angels Page 11