It explained so much that had confused her in the past few weeks, from his animosity when they’d first met to the way he’d seemed to respond to her that night. But maybe it had all been a sham, a mockery. Jack hadn’t been reacting to her, Meg Andrews, but to the memory of his ex-wife!
‘I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!’
Jack’s expression was thunderous as he stared at her. Meg didn’t care. She was too hurt to worry about angering him.
‘No? Then think about it. Work it out, Jack. After all, you’re a highly intelligent human being so it shouldn’t be that difficult!’
‘I have never, ever compared you to Briony!’ he snapped. Catching hold of her arm, he steered her round the front of the train, away from the open doorway.
Meg twisted her arm free and smiled coldly at him. ‘No? Well, then, that’s OK, isn’t it? Obviously I’m mistaken. Still, I’m usually in the wrong so why worry, eh?’
He uttered what sounded like a curse under his breath. ‘You would try the patience of a saint at times! I have never compared you to Briony and that’s the truth whether or not you choose to believe it.’ He gave a harsh laugh. ‘I wouldn’t insult you by making such a comparison. You’re worth ten of my ex-wife, Meg!’
‘I am?’ She swallowed hard, feeling the anger drain from her. Jack gave a weary sigh as he looked down at the dusty ground.
‘Yes. I made a mistake by marrying Briony and I don’t deny it. I fell in love with an image, you see, not with a real woman. By the time I found out how foolish I’d been it was too late. We were already married by then and I knew that I had to try to make it work.’
He looked up and his eyes were empty all of a sudden. ‘I’d taken my marriage vows in good faith, Meg. I wanted to keep them.’
‘Only it wasn’t possible to do that?’ she asked quietly, her heart aching at the thought of what he must have been through.
Jack shrugged. ‘No, not at the end of the day. There’s a point in any relationship when you have to take a long, hard look at what’s really happening. The reality was that Briony and I were two people with completely different goals in life. We had nothing in common once the passion died, which it did very quickly. Everything she held dear I considered unimportant, everything I felt was of value meant nothing to her. We were chalk and cheese in effect.’
‘And you had no idea before you married?’ Meg couldn’t help asking, even though she sensed that it was something Jack had never spoken about before. She didn’t want to hurt him but she needed to understand how his marriage could have gone so drastically wrong. Jack was so perceptive that she couldn’t understand how he could have made such a huge mistake…
Unless it had been the passion he’d felt for his ex-wife which had knocked him off balance. The thought of him desiring the other woman to such an extent hurt so much, but she couldn’t let him see how she felt.
‘None whatsoever. I thought that Briony felt the same as I did about so many things that are important to me.’ His tone was emotionless as he explained—he might have been discussing someone else rather than himself. Maybe that was the only way he could deal with the memories, Meg wondered, and that thought hurt as well. To know that his marriage still had the power to hurt him wasn’t easy to deal with.
‘Briony and I met when she agreed to do a modelling assignment for the aid agency. We organised a fashion show to raise funds and a lot of celebrities gave their support. Briony seemed fascinated by the work we did—she asked a lot of questions, offered her help if we needed it in the future.
‘She phoned me after the show and we went out to dinner. One thing led to another and before long we were planning on getting married. She seemed so caring and concerned, so committed to everything I believed important.’
‘But it was all an act?’ Meg suggested softly.
‘No, I don’t honestly think it was deliberate. Briony is the sort of person who gets carried away by new ideas. She’d got it into her head that she wanted to become involved in helping the underprivileged and was simply swept along by her own enthusiasm. However, the reality came as a huge shock to her.’
Jack laughed softly, with a hint of bitterness. ‘I should have realised it would, but I wasn’t thinking too clearly at the time, you understand.’
She did. She understood only too well and her heart ached even more. How she hated the thought of him loving the other woman to such an extent that his judgement had been impaired. However, there was nothing she could do to change what had happened in the past.
‘When you mentioned the reality being different to what she expected, did you mean that Briony went on an aid trip with you?’ she asked instead.
‘Yes. I was due to go overseas a month after we were married and Briony begged me to let her go along. I was beginning to realise that I’d made a mistake by then but I thought…hoped…that it might help bring us together.’
He looked up at the sky and sighed. ‘I thought there was a chance that she might come to understand why my work was so important to me but it was a disaster from the start. Briony couldn’t cope with the heat, the dirt, the disease, the sheer ugliness of poverty. She stayed less than a week then returned to London. It was just a question of how long our marriage would last after that.’
‘It must have been…painful for you,’ Meg observed softly, wishing there was something she could say to take away the sadness from his expression.
‘It was. It was also a salutary lesson.’ He took a deep breath and his tone grated. ‘I wouldn’t ask any woman to share my life again. It wouldn’t be fair on her.’
She knew what he was saying, that he was warning her they had no future, yet she couldn’t let it go without trying to make him see that he was wrong. ‘Not all women would react like Briony did, Jack.’ She took a quick breath. ‘I wouldn’t.’
He smiled and there was tenderness in his eyes when he looked at her. ‘I know that. However, it isn’t a risk I intend to take ever again. The kind of life I lead isn’t conducive to a healthy relationship. The constant separations would put a strain on it for starters, and no woman would choose to be constantly travelling the world from one disaster area to another. I won’t put myself or any woman in that kind of situation again.’
What could she say when he’d made up his mind? Nothing. There was nothing she could say or do and the futility of the situation was more than she could bear.
Meg turned and walked away, uncaring where she was going or the fact that Jack called her name. She couldn’t run from the pain she felt because it was locked deep inside her; she just couldn’t bear to add to it. Jack had said that he hadn’t compared her to Briony but he was still judging her by the other woman’s actions!
A bitter laugh rose to her throat, grew bigger and bigger until it felt as though it would choke her. What a good job she hadn’t told Jack that she loved him! At least her pride wasn’t now in tatters along with her emotions. It was the only consolation she had.
CHAPTER TEN
RORY arrived back just as everyone was finishing lunch. Meg heard the Land Rover arriving and went out to meet him. She hadn’t bothered with lunch because she hadn’t been able to face the thought of seeing Jack. She needed to know that her emotions were firmly in check before she saw him again. However, as she left her compartment, she couldn’t help wondering if it would be possible to control this pain she felt.
‘Howdy, folks!’ Rory climbed out of the Land Rover, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I have a surprise for you.’
He opened the passenger door with a flourish. Meg frowned when she saw a slim, dark-haired young woman get out. It was obvious that Rory had been referring to his passenger, although she had no idea who she was.
‘Yvonne!’ Lesley supplied the answer as she let out a joyful shriek of welcome. Both she and Kate ran to meet the newcomer and were obviously delighted to see her.
‘What are you doing here?’ Kate demanded. ‘You were supposed to be sick!’
‘I
was.’ The young woman shrugged. ‘But I’m feeling a lot better now, so when this job came up I volunteered for it.’
She smiled at the two women then suddenly caught sight of Meg. She came forward and held out her hand. ‘Hi, I’m Yvonne Fleming. You must be the poor soul who got commandeered at the eleventh hour to replace me. I bet you’ve been cursing me roundly!’
‘Not at all!’ Meg denied with a laugh as she shook Yvonne’s hand. ‘I’m glad it wasn’t anything too serious that stopped you coming on this trip, though.’
‘Thankfully not.’ Yvonne’s smile wavered as her gaze was suddenly drawn to someone behind Meg.
Meg glanced round to see who Yvonne was looking at and realised that Richard had come to see what was happening. There was a short, uncomfortable silence before he spoke.
‘Hello, Yvonne. It’s good to see you again.’
‘And you too, Richard.’ Yvonne’s expression said everything she obviously had no intention of saying out loud. Meg felt her own heart ache when she saw the sadness on the other woman’s face. That there was a lot of painful history between Yvonne and Richard was blatantly obvious and yet, oddly, none of the others appeared to notice anything amiss. Maybe it was just she who had homed in on the undercurrents because her own situation made her receptive to them.
Her gaze drifted to Jack, who had gone to introduce himself to the other occupant of the Land Rover, a man in his late forties who had to be the replacement driver. She felt a sharp pain assail her and turned away before anyone noticed there was something wrong with her. However, it struck her how difficult it was going to be to act normally around Jack in the coming weeks. Knowing that she loved him and that he would never love her was going to put an intolerable strain on their working relationship.
‘Right, come inside and have a cuppa before you do anything else.’ Lesley linked her arm through Yvonne’s and steered her towards the steps. Kate and Rory went with them, Rory complaining bitterly that he was famished as he hadn’t eaten for hours. Jack had taken the new driver to meet Sam, and Richard had disappeared somewhere or other.
Meg took a deep breath then determinedly made her way back on board. The only way she was going to get through the coming weeks was by concentrating on work so she may as well make a start right away.
She went to the hospital bay to prepare Bill and Katu for the drive back to the plane. The return flight was scheduled for the same day as there was no point in delaying. However, when she reached the hospital, she discovered that Bill was taking a shower and that Richard was sitting with Katu. The little girl was chattering away to him, obviously delighted to have someone to talk to. She’d learned a few English words in the short time she’d been on board, mainly their names or the names of various things she wanted, but it must have been very hard on her, not being able to communicate in her own language.
Now Meg smiled when she saw how animated the child looked as she went to join them. ‘It’s lovely to see her smiling like that. It must be great for her to have someone to talk to.’
Richard made a determined effort to smile back but Meg could see the shadows in his eyes. ‘She’s a very brave little girl. Having to cope with what she’s been through would be hard enough for an adult.’
He broke off as Katu said something to him. The child was holding a picture she’d drawn and obviously wanted him to relay what she was saying to Meg.
Richard nodded in agreement then turned to Meg. ‘Katu wants you to have this picture. She said to tell you that you are the lady in it.’
Meg took it with a smile. ‘Thank you, sweetheart.’ She glanced at the brightly coloured drawing and laughed gently. ‘Is it my imagination or do I have wings sprouting out of my back?’
‘You have.’ Richard pointed to a small figure in the drawing. ‘That is supposed to be Katu herself when she was lying, injured. She said that she was so scared and then suddenly you came along, like an angel, and saved her.’
Richard’s laugh was tender when he looked at the child. ‘She was touched by an angel, she claims, and that angel was you, Meg.’
‘I don’t know what to say…’ Meg’s eyes filled. She quickly bent and gave the little girl a warm hug. ‘Thank you, poppet. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.’
Richard relayed what she’d said to the child, who smiled happily. He stood up as Katu picked up her pad and began drawing another picture. ‘Jack told me about her grandmother dying and that she has no other family who will look after her.’
‘That’s right.’ Meg sighed as she glanced at the picture once more. ‘I’m hoping that we can make some sort of arrangements for her long-term care after she’s been treated, but I’m not sure what we’ll be able to do.’
‘I can help out there.’ Richard shot a look at the little girl and his face was so sad that Meg’s heart ached for him. ‘I shall make sure that she is taken care of. There is plenty of room in my house so I shall arrange to have her flown back to Oncamba and live with me. I might never be lucky enough to have a family of my own so it will be good to know that I can help a child who needs it so much.’
He gave Meg a last sad smile before he left. Meg sighed as the door closed. Did Richard believe that he would never have a family of his own because the woman he loved, Yvonne, wouldn’t be willing to make that kind of commitment?
She suspected that was the explanation and it was so sad. Being in love certainly wasn’t easy, as she knew to her cost.
Richard left a short time later, claiming that there were matters that needed his urgent attention. Although Meg didn’t doubt that was true, she guessed that his abrupt departure owed itself more to the fact that he found the situation between himself and Yvonne too painful to deal with.
Yvonne was conspicuous by her absence when everyone gathered to wave him off. Nobody commented on it, although Meg suspected that they all knew what was going on. When Jack announced that he would drive the party to the airfield and would like to leave straight away, there was a chorus of agreements. Meg guessed that everyone was keen to get on with the job they were there for, although for very different reasons.
Bill was hugged and kissed before he left, but it was Katu to whom everyone paid extra-special attention. Meg hadn’t brought much in the way of jewellery with her but she had a small silver locket which her mother had bought her one Christmas. She knew her mother wouldn’t mind in the least if she gave it to the little girl and was so pleased that she had when she saw Katu’s face light up.
‘You be a very good girl, now, won’t you?’ Meg hugged the frail little body to her, feeling tears burning her eyes. She laughed as she realised that the child had no idea what she was saying, but it didn’t seem to matter. ‘God bless, sweetheart.’
She kissed Katu on the cheek and received a hug in return which made her eyes fill all the more. She stepped back, trying to smile as Kate and Lesley came forward to kiss the child.
‘She’ll be fine, Meg. Promise.’
Jack’s tone was so tender that her tears overflowed. She heard him sigh softly before he drew her aside. The Land Rover was parked close to the front of the train and he steered her across the track, out of sight of the others.
‘Richard has promised to look after her, if that’s what you’re worried about,’ he assured her gently.
‘I know. He told me.’ Meg sniffed back her tears, feeling like a fool. The problem was that it wasn’t just Katu’s departure which was so upsetting, but also everything else that had happened of late. It was as though a huge lake of emotion had filled up inside her and was starting to overflow.
‘Then you should know that there isn’t anything to get upset about.’ Jack’s tone was curt all of a sudden. He turned to go back and join the others but Meg stopped him, a puzzled frown darkening her brow.
‘What’s wrong now?’ she asked. She shook her head when he opened his mouth to deny the accusation. ‘No, I can tell something is wrong, Jack. I know you too well by now not to know when you’re annoye
d.’
‘I’m not annoyed, Meg.’ His tone was icily contained. Any trace of tenderness had dissipated like melting snow in the sun. ‘I just hope you realise that Richard has a lot on his plate at present.’
‘A lot on his plate…’ She stared at him in confusion before it hit her what he meant. Suddenly she was so angry that she wanted to spit. She felt both furious and hurt by his refusal to see what was staring him in the face.
‘Thank you for the warning, Jack. I’m sure you only wanted to save me from getting hurt. However, I’m not the least bit interested in Richard in that way, as I’ve told you before.’
‘No?’ He gave a bitter laugh. ‘I know what you said but it doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing!’
‘Then maybe you should get yourself a pair of glasses.’ Meg tossed back her hair and glared at him. She was too incensed by the unjust accusation to care what she was saying. ‘It couldn’t be that you’re jealous, Jack? Of course not! After all, you aren’t interested in forming any close relationships, as you told me yourself, so why should you care what I do?’
‘I care if it could create a problem within the team,’ he snapped back, his eyes glittering warningly. However, Meg refused to heed the warning, even though she knew there was a strong chance that she would regret not doing so later.
‘Ah, yes, the team. And that’s all I am, of course. A member of this team. I’m nothing special to you. I’m not even a substitute for Briony, or so you claim, although I have my doubts. Was it really me you wanted to make love to the other night? Or was I really a substitute for her? You certainly seem determined to judge me by your ex-wife’s standards all the time, despite your assertions to the contrary!’
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