by Renee Rose
I remembered a time I thought I would for sure die. I had taken a bullet in my stomach and suffered in my sister’s arms waiting for death to take over. I had looked into her eyes, with the soft hue of pink from her lifeblood surrounding me in warmth, and whispered goodbye. Trinity didn’t allow it. She yelled. She shook me. She demanded that I didn’t give up. I was a soldier. I was her Lifeblood Twin, and nothing would defeat me. Over and over, she lectured while she held my wound closed with her hand. She would not allow fear to win. And she most certainly wouldn’t allow death to take me away.
Fight.
Win.
Battle the odds.
These were her words.
I needed to remember that day, and pull from her strength. I needed to remember those words. She would want me to fight. She would not want me to beg and plead. I could almost hear her firm but loving voice now. She would tell me to hold my shoulders back, head up, and leave the brothers without ever looking back. March on, sister. March on.
Yes, that is what I would do.
I wasn’t surprised when Cross entered my room—without Pike—with a sullen look upon his face. He quickly walked up to me and pulled me into his arms. It took him several minutes to speak, and all I could hear was the sound of his heart as my face rested against his chest. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you when we reach Canary. It will be the hardest thing I will have ever done, but it has to happen.”
I pulled away enough to look into Cross’s eyes. “I will say this one last time. My only wish, my one true desire, is to be the slave you and your brother want to keep. That you both won’t decide to deliver me. But I also understand that you both have your orders. I am cargo. Our fates are sealed.”
Cross placed a simple kiss on my cheek. “You are so much more than a slave to me. And whether or not Pike will admit it, you are more to him as well.”
I shook my head sadly. “No, Cross. I am just a Pallid Slave. The day my sister died, I knew that wishes did not come true. I wished for her back, just as I wish to stay with you and Pike. Both will never happen. I’ve accepted my imminent death when I get off this ship.” Though dramatic, my soul spoke and I had no desire to hold it back any longer. Especially to spare Cross’s feelings. Let him know he was sending me to my possible death. He was. Let the guilt of that eat away at him every single day that I am gone.
“Never! Do not assume you will die. Do you understand?” Cross boomed as his eyes turned black in fury. His loving demeanor quickly changed. “You are a Unin warrior. You are a soldier born to battle. Do not accept this as your fate.”
I shook my head as I tried to control the tears from falling past the rims of my eyes. “Cross, I stopped being a soldier a long time ago. The drive for fight died the day my sister did. I am a beaten down, captured slave just like the others you transport.”
Cross took a calming breath and caressed a finger underneath my eye to catch an escaping tear. “Truth, I love you. I love you, but your freedom is something I cannot give. It is not possible to give.” He paused to kiss where the tear had once been. “These slaves my brother and I deliver have always been faceless, nameless, and have never held a second in my heart. You, on the other hand, do. I will never treat you or put you in the same category as them.” Cross placed a soft kiss on my pouting lips. “Do you understand?”
I shook my head in denial. My tears continued to fall. I didn’t want to cry or seem weak, but I could no longer hold in the pain. I wanted Pike, and his constant refusals broke my heart. I wanted Cross, and his inability to stand up for our love and me crushed my soul. I wanted both brothers so desperately, but the fates blocked it all.
“Truth…if I could. I promised myself on the day I first made love to you that I would protect you to the best of my ability. I would shield you from pain and danger. I wake every day with the one purpose to provide for you. But the harsh reality is I can’t give you the traditional. I can’t give you the normal. I can’t give you the type of love affair you deserve.” Cross kissed my forehead before continuing. “Pike is my brother and is not capable of giving that part of him. It is locked up. He is my twin and is a vital part of who I am. I can’t separate from him. Every part of my being won’t allow it. Pike and his aggression is not good for you. I don’t think you are safe around him and it worries me. But I can’t choose between you and him. It’s not physically possible for me to leave him.”
I knew what he spoke of. It was only death that could have separated me from Trinity. Nothing or no one would stand between us if she still lived. I understood completely that Cross could never be without, or go against, his twin brother. It was impossible.
“Pike would never hurt me. I know this.”
“How? Pike is not like you and I.”
“You are right on that, but I feel something from him. He wouldn’t hurt me. At least not really hurt me.”
“Do you hate me?” Cross blurted out with sadness in his voice. “Should I have done more to stop him? Should I have done more to fight for you?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“I hate myself.”
I reached up and lovingly stroked his face. “Don’t. Please know that I understand. I understand completely the pull of the Lifeblood Twin. I understand our situation and our future. I do not hate you at all. I will miss you so very much, Cross. Your gold light will always be a part of me.”
“If I could give you my lifeblood, I would. If I could save you from this fucked up universe, I would. I wish I were stronger. You deserve that. For the first time in my fucking life, I wish I were Pike.”
I looked into Cross’s eyes, wanting one last kiss, but was interrupted by Pike entering the room before I could say anything more.
“Enough. We cannot allow emotions to take over, Truth,” Pike said. “I will no longer allow you to continue this conversation. We have landed and it is time for you to leave.” Pike walked to where I stood embraced in Cross’s arms and tilted my chin so I was clearly staring into his eyes. “You need to accept what I say. You need to stop with the idea that you, my brother, and I can live this fairytale you paint in your head. Accept us for how we are and how we will stay. It is important for you to be strong. Do not, I repeat, do not allow emotion to take over. Do you understand?”
I nodded with the heavy feeling of defeat in my heart. “Yes. I understand.”
“Then it is time to go.” He grabbed me by the hand and led me to the cargo hold. The sound of our footsteps bounced off the metal walls, and I looked around one last time knowing I would never see this ship again.
“There have been reports of mutated canaries overpowering several mines on the planet.”
“Meaning?” I asked. Was he trying to scare me so I would get the spirit of fight to replace the sadness threatening to drown me?
“Meaning that mutated monsters that won’t hesitate for a moment in killing you are running free. Canary is more dangerous than ever before. They kill, they eat, they will tear your body into a million pieces. Do not, I repeat, do not let one near you. A canary will kill you without the slightest hesitation.”
“Serves the planet right. These miners are the cause of this to begin with. Hopefully, if I mutate, I will kill every miner who forced me to inhale the toxic gas to begin with. Vengeance.”
“Truth,” Pike said in a warning voice. “Do not focus on defeat. Focus on survival.”
I had nothing more to say and simply walked beside him, hearing the footsteps of Cross close behind us.
As the door slowly opened, he turned to me and said, “There will be two men waiting for you. Walk up to them, and right before you get there, make a hard left and run as fast as you can. Run toward the foothills of the east. They will have guns, but they won’t want to risk announcing to all the nearby canaries that they are here. And I seriously doubt they will want to waste any of their bullets. From what I have heard, it’s nasty out there. But if you have any chance of survival at all, it is on your own. Do you hear me?”
/> I stared up at him in shock. Was he saying what I thought he was?
“Truth!” he said above the loud sounds of the cargo opening. “Do you understand what I am saying? Escape. This is your one and only chance.”
Pike was trying to help me. He cared. He did.
“And do what?” I asked. “Take my chances with the mutants? Live and die alone while I wait to have the flesh torn off my bones?”
“Survive god damnit! Do whatever you have to do to stay free and survive. Do not go with those men. I know you can do this. I know it. Run.”
I nodded and turned to look at Cross one last time. Tears welled in his eyes as he mouthed goodbye, turning his back so he didn’t have to see me leave. I looked back at Pike and smiled.
“Run, Truth. Run.”
I nodded and walked slowly toward the men waiting to take me off to the mines of Canary. When I disembarked off the ship, I followed Pike’s command, pivoted on my heels, and ran as fast as I could.
Goodbye Pike.
Goodbye Cross.
Goodbye.
Chapter Nine
I hadn’t bathed in weeks—not since escaping from the fate of becoming a canary—and I’d be damned if I’d spend another night choking on my own musk. I raised my arms, flipping my tangled white hair into a loosely wound topknot. Piss yellow stains crusted in the pits of my fitted white t-shirt. I blinked as if sensing something rumbling through the tall grass. I knew standing around too long was asking for a world of trouble.
I had seen the canaries first hand. Not all of them were killed at the mines when the mutation occurred. In fact, many had clearly overtaken the miners, killing all and now free to roam and cause death and destruction throughout the planet. Only a day after Pike told me to run, I’d stumbled upon a mine and was shocked to find chewed, bloody, half-eaten bodies all around. Signs of a battle were evident, but clearly the canaries had won. And in the far off distance, I could hear a sound that would forever be ingrained in my head.
Teet, teet, teet, teet. The call of the canary.
I didn’t know if I was safer on my own on a canary-infested planet, or risking my chance with the toxic gas and seeing if I became a mutated canary. Regardless, I was alone to roam with the creatures who were caught in the vicious cycle somewhere between life and death. It didn’t take long since arriving on Canary for the soldier part of me to take over. Goodbye Pallid Slave, hello Unin soldier.
I heard the faint rippling water even though I couldn’t see it yet. After walking further into the trees, I saw it. I hadn’t seen crisp clean water in so long, the whole thing felt slightly dreamy. I unraveled my laces, kicking my boots to the side. Smooth rocks were scattered on the damp edges of the bank. With no one anywhere to be seen for miles, I slunk out of my shirt and shimmied out of my filthy pants. Water squished between my toes, and I’d never felt more alive. If being chewed to death by rotting cannibals was the best I could hope for—I reasoned—what’s left to lose?
Cupping water into my hands, I poured it slowly over my ivory hair. It dribbled down every crease and curve before zigzagging down my thighs.
Teet. Teet. Teet. Teet.
Suddenly, I narrowed my eyes. I picked up my crumple of clothes, my soggy hair swinging in my face. If the mutated canary found me, it would only take seconds until it gored through my pasty flesh and gnawed on my bones. My neck craned at an angle. I needed a quick plan—the faster the better. Out in the clearing, I saw a gray structure sticking out like a knife. After promptly jumping onto the bank, I turned. Dark moody eyes greeted me. It began moving toward me. Teet. Teet. Teet.
Drooling. Spitting. Gnashing.
No way out.
Worse, I had only one chance to make a break for it.
“Fuck it,” I mumbled under my breath.
I fled barefoot, jamming one leg at a time in my pants. The canary lurched after me, crunching dead detritus under his gnarled feet. I hooked a left, rustling the leaves on the trees.
Oh God, oh God, oh God!
I saw other staggering figures along the way, lumbering in my direction. For the next few seconds, I pictured the end of my life. I could hear Pike’s voice in my head. Run!
Finally, I neared the shimmering pewter-colored structure, an old mining station. Small. A gleaming handle caught my eye, and I clung onto it with both of my hands. Hearing scuttling noises close at my back, I frantically jerked at the door, but the damn thing didn’t budge.
Teet. Teet. Teet. Teet.
Almost paralyzed with fear, I pulled back and kicked the handle with all of my weight. It remained stuck for what felt like endless minutes. Until finally, a low-pitched creak echoed from the hinges of the door. I turned, sweating and retching at the musty stench.
A head full of snapping teeth thrust right for my neck. I reared back. The canary’s drool curdled down its maw like a thick black gravy. I shambled away, walloping the canary with a chunk of dead wood. It grunted, wildly clawing bleeding grooves in my arms. I slammed at its head again. Bits of brain and jellied blood sprayed on my lips. I pushed the brain-crushed canary away with a manic guttural sound. Glancing over my shoulder, other canaries teetered right for me. From what little I could see inside the mining station, an oil thick darkness awaited. I took a second to consider—but not too deeply—whether if hunkering down inside was a good or a shit idea.
Canaries surrounded me, blood oozed from their shredded flesh. I latched on the swinging door handle, sprinted inside, and slammed it right behind me.
Panic sparked in my gut.
No light.
It was cold inside. Freezing.
A mining station with no power. Figures. The canaries stood maybe a good twenty feet from my door. My first instinct was to slide my hands along the walls, hoping to find a fuse box or at least anything useful. The metal walls felt cool underneath my fingertips. Every few seconds my nails would scrape on narrow grooves. I fumbled like this until something landed on my feet with a soft nearly inaudible thud.
I kneeled down slowly, patting my hands on the floor. Something long and smooth found my hand. It took me a moment to grab it, and a sudden flash of weak dim light flickered from the laserlight I found on the ground. With a swift wave, I aimed it at the floor. Five stiff, dead fingers had dropped on the tips of my bare feet. With flustered kicks, it flung up and out of my way. I swung the light, making out a silhouette in the dark. I looked across the room and caught a glimpse of a frozen pair of eyes. The slack-jawed corpse slumped against the wall. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled until I fought to put myself at ease.
It’s not like I hadn’t seen a dead body before. Just the opposite. Death was not new to me.
I eyed it briefly, and then turned my head away. No matter how much I fished deep in his pockets, I came up with nothing—other than pocket lint and a rusty razor that was balled in the other hand. Maybe the poor bastard intended to kill himself, or attempt to fight off the canaries to no avail?
The body itself was surrounded by a halo of dead flies. With no food or water, I’d practically climbed in my own coffin. I had a good three days until I’d die of thirst. Either that, or the hellfire of hunger in the pit of my belly would do me in first. I slid my back against the wall, hugging my knees. I needed a solution, but couldn’t think of a single one.
Every once in awhile, I had a pretty good idea about things. This was not one of those times. A rush of blood gushed through my heart as it pulsed to the rhythm of its beat. It thudded loud and hard like the hammer of a sawed off gun. Carefully, I eased open the door to take a peek. That’s when I saw the fuse box, right before the tree line. I had to make a break for it. Otherwise, the feral horde of snapping canaries would flay my skin right in broad daylight. I pulled back, setting myself in a running stance.
“Fuck…”
I stepped out with the blunt end of a laserlight like a plastic samurai sword. I charged forward at full speed, enraged, wide-eyed, arms above my head and shrieking at the top of my lungs.
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br /> I smashed the flat head of my laserlight like a sledgehammer, deep in their pocked and scarred faces. I dodged their clawing gangly arms. Another canary swiped at my thigh, I pivoted slightly and at once, shoved the handle into its gurgling gullet. A tidal wave of black mucusy pus exploded on my shirt and ratty hair. Immediately, I stepped back smearing off the reeking goo, frantically checking for my own wounds. I didn’t once take my eyes off of the fuse box, storming right for it. Canaries sputtered in my face, chomping as they chased me in a possessed rage. I shuffled a few steps, banging on the metal fuse box and grabbed a fistful of rainbow colored wires.
Groaning, snarling canaries ambushed me in a corner. I muttered to myself, plugging in wires every which way. An electric zip surged through the power line as shockwaves of pure energy reached the core. I didn’t have the words to express my breathless joy when the light above the mining station door flickered bright. But over the course of the next few seconds, I observed the sprawl of canaries flanking me from all directions. My heart skipped a beat, and I drew in my arms.
“This isn’t happening, is it?” I asked in a dead tone. With a plague of the mutated tottering lock step and shoulder to shoulder, I didn’t even have a chance. Mortified, I crouched down with my knees and my arms drawn into my chest awaiting to be wholly gobbled in a bloody hemorrhaging mess. Even now, I couldn’t sob or shed a tear.
I glanced up nervously when a white, hot light exploded and vanished in the air. The throng of the desecrated corpses parted right down in the center. The shimmering tip of a gun caught my eye first.
A second blast sent fleshy fluids soaring into the sky. I inched up and froze where I stood. Canaries gagged, stampeding each other to hook their rotting teeth into the gun toting assailant’s neck. After walking a few paces, someone extended me a hand, and I heard a familiar voice. Pike. Pike!