by Shelly Pratt
‘Don’t put that but in there.’
‘There is a but; there’s always a but.’
‘I’m going to do whatever it takes.’
‘He won’t stop, Grayson. He’ll come after me. He’s got plans for me.’
‘Plans? Well, I’ve got plans for him.’
‘You don’t understand how powerful he is. He won’t stop until I’m dead. Even then he won’t stop. He’ll kill my parents and anyone else I’ve ever loved just because that is what gets his rocks off.’
‘I’m playing for keeps, baby. I guarantee when I’m done with him, he’ll be more than happy to let you go.’
I’m not convinced because after spending what seems like a life time with an abuser like Alex, I know the extent of his will.
‘I can’t stay here. Not now. There is nowhere for me to hide here.’
I quieten for a minute, letting my words sink in. He has to realise that this is not the end, it’s only the beginning. I need a new life, a new place, a new start. And I can’t do it here. Not with him. I need to leave and never come back. I need to become invisible and find a place where I can call it home.
‘You can’t leave, Evie.’ He practically chokes the words out, not wanting to face the truth.
‘I have to. If I want to live, I have to. It’s the only way I’ll ever have a chance at being safe.’
A single tear slides down his face.
‘I’m not giving up on you, or us, but I’ll get you out of the country for now because I understand that is what needs to be done to keep you safe until I fix things here, okay?’
I nod, my heart feeling heavier than it’s ever felt. Just then, Callum comes running into the room.
‘Callum? You’re here, too?’
‘Hey Evie, rough night?’
‘I’ve had better.’
Next to us Alex stirs. I physically recoil, remembering his hands on my throat just moments ago.
‘We’ve got to get moving, guys. The arsehole in the stairwell won’t be out for long.’
‘Quickly help me tie this guy up,’ Grayson motions towards Alex. ‘Evie, go pack a bag. Grab your passport and some of the money out of the safe.’
‘Okay.’
I leave them to Alex, thankful to be as far away from him as I can. I hurry to the bedroom, switch on the wardrobe light and jump up to grab a suitcase off the top shelf. Several items fall down on me as I yank it free, but I’m oblivious to the blows. Nothing can hurt me anymore, because freedom is so close that I can taste it for the first time in years. It’s time to be reborn, time to find out who Evie really is.
I’m a little daunted that I’m leaving my parents behind, but I have to have faith in Grayson—faith and trust that everything will work out for the best. I try not to cry anymore, but the tears at the thought of leaving him after finding him have my heart ripping in two. As I pack clothes in the case, tears spill down to be packed away. It’s killing me, this process of readying to leave, but I know if I stay, I’m as good as dead anyway.
While I’m in the bathroom grabbing the toiletries my reflection stares back at me in the mirror. I can see the dark red finger marks on my neck. It’s not a pretty sight and speaks volumes about the kind of man I’m married to. He wasn’t just an abuser, he was a killer. He may not have got there just yet, but it was only going to be a matter of time. I quickly pack the toothpaste and make-up before grabbing a silk scarf out the top of my dresser to hide the marks he’s left there.
There’s no room for fancy dresses or lovely shoes. It doesn’t matter. The new Evie doesn’t like those things anyway. She only wants for a safe place where falling love doesn’t cost you to lose your soul in the process. Grayson interrupts me with his urgent words.
‘Beautiful?’ I look up to meet the eyes of my saviour. He really did salvage what was left of my heart before it was too late.
‘I’m almost ready.’
‘We have to move now.’
‘I just need to grab some cash.’
‘Okay, but hurry.’
He takes my bag for me and leaves me to ransack some of what’s left in the safe. I secure the cash in my handbag and reach for my passport. Alex’s is right there next to mine. Without hesitation I take it as well, not wanting to leave him any quick means to leave the country.
In the living room, the guys are standing over a visibly angry Alex. He’s woken up, and is more pissed than I’ve ever seen him. He’s trying to scream, but the gag isn’t letting much out. His face is beet red and sweat is running from his hair down the sides of his face. Hands and feet are bound, no chance for much movement. His murderous eyes drink in all of us. I can see revenge plotting in his head. I will never be far enough from him. Never.
‘Evie, is there a back way out of the building?’ Grayson asks, startling my attention away from my husband.
‘Yes, if we take the elevator down to the first floor there are stairs that run out of the fire exit to the street behind the apartment block.’
‘Great, that should offer us a bit of privacy.’
‘For what?’
‘Getting this prick out of here,’ says Callum.
‘We’re taking him with us?’ I screech in disbelief.
‘What’d you think we were going to do? Leave him here?’
‘I don’t know…’
‘Don’t worry about him, Evie, we’ll sort him out after,’ promises Grayson.
‘Come on, we’ve been here too long. Evie, can you carry your bag so Grayson can help me with him.’ He nods towards Alex.
‘Why don’t you let him walk?’
‘Better this way, love, that way he won’t be awake to make any noise,’ grins Callum, reaching for a bottle of scotch in the cabinet next to him. Alex’s eyes go wide right before Callum connects the glass bottle against the back of his skull.
‘There, that should keep him quiet for a while.’
‘Fuck, man, I think you just split his skull open.’
‘Well, I wasn’t about to pussyfoot about it,’ Callum smirks.
‘Let’s go before you cause more damage,’ replies Grayson.
I pick up my bag and let the guys grab either end of Alex’s limp body. I wait until they’re out in the corridor before locking the front door shut. We all fit into the lift awkwardly and I press the button for the first floor.
At the rear exit I play look out while Callum brings the car round back. Grayson has Alex’s body propped up against the wall, just out of sight in case any people should happen to pass by. They don’t, luck on our side for a change. As soon as the car pulls up, Callum pops the trunk for us. Grayson gets Alex’s body in a fireman’s hold and carries him down the few steps towards it. He dumps him in without care and shuts the lid like he just took out the trash.
Grayson dumps my case in the front passenger seat and slides in the back with me.
‘Go straight to the International Airport,’ he instructs Callum.
‘You got it.’ He focuses on driving and nothing more. He doesn’t speed, nor go too slow, because right now, the last thing we want is attention from the cops while we’ve got a body in the trunk of our car.
Grayson turns to me, his lips finding mine in the dark. I’m so close to exhaustion, yet not even that will stop me from kissing him back. I cling to his neck as his mouth slowly starves me of oxygen. His tongue finds mine and our passion collides. We are not alone, but it does not put the brakes on the intensity of our kiss. Finally, reluctantly, miserably we pull apart.
‘We don’t have long, Evie. I’ve got no idea what flights are leaving this early in the morning but you need to get on one. Any one will do. You’re not going to be able to tell me where you’re going, but that’s okay, because I will find you.’
‘I can’t ask you to leave your life for me, Grayson. That’s beyond selfish. What about Jean?’
‘She’s a survivor, remember? And I told you, you are my life. I’ll find you. I’ll always find you.’
‘Should I cal
l you?’
‘No, it’s better if you don’t. We don’t know how things with Alex are going to play out just yet. I’m not saying I’m gonna kill him, but fuck me, if I’m honest, I just might. Then again, if I let the little shit-stain live, I don’t want you getting in contact with me until I know it’s safe for you to do so—do you understand?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘He or the cops could end up keeping a close eye on me. I’m not going to be reckless and give anyone the chance to get to you.’
His hands grip mine and he squeezes them for reassurance. I turn over his wrist and gently rub the tattoo that’s branded on the inside.
‘Why this?’ I ask of the clock tattoo branded there.
‘It’s infinite. Perpetual. It means that time is endless, inexhaustible… no limits. I got it after I recovered from my addiction and finally got over my heartbreak. I got it, because I was determined that the next girl I fell in love with would be mine forever. I’d love her always, and she me. It would be endless, just like time.’
‘That’s beautiful,’ I whisper.
‘You’re beautiful, and I’m yours, forever.’
‘Then that’s how you’ll find me. It’ll be a clue of sorts—your tattoo. Come looking for me and I’ll leave you a trail of crumbs like Hansel and Gretel.’ I trail my finger along the tattooed hands of the clock that both point to the twelve.
‘I’ll find you, I’ll never give up,’ he says as the car takes the ramp for the airport.
We’re silenced by the inevitable. I have to leave him with only the unexpected to face. It’s daunting to suddenly leave the only life I have ever known. With no friends to speak of or home of my own. I’m comforted that sometime in the future, Grayson will come for me. It will give me something to look forward to, something to build a life on. I have no doubt that he will keep his word.
After all the years of feeling hurt and anger over my parents’ betrayal, I can finally see how my dad made the decision he did. Now that I’m faced with the same choice, it’s really easy to let go of the family you’re supposed to love when your survival depends on it. Oh heck, I know it’s not really the same, but I suddenly can’t bring myself to care enough about them to stay. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve already felt so let down by them or if I’m confident enough that Grayson will find a way for me to see them again in the future. Maybe then we can start to be honest with each other and find a way to rebuild our relationship with each other.
In the meantime, I need to live.
Callum manoeuvres the car towards the departures terminal and pulls into the drop off bay. At the end of the terminal is a cop car with its lights flashing silently, disturbing the normalcy of the night. With all the security cameras about and the police presence, there is no way I want Grayson hanging around—especially with the body of my concussed husband in the boot. That would be a little hard to explain. I know I must leave him, and quickly, for his sake and my own.
‘Grayson…’
‘It’ll be okay, Evie. I’ll find you, no matter where you go. Once I know things are safe here, I’ll come looking you, and don’t worry about your parents. As much as I think they don’t deserve shit from you for what they put you through, I know that you still care. I’ll make sure they’re okay.’
‘Promise?’ I cry.
'Promise.’ He kisses me desperately, his body not so willing to let me go as his words are.
I break away from him before I change my mind and stay with him regardless of the consequences. I shut the door on the man who I love more than my own life. For him, I would have died just to keep him safe. I’m floored that he’d do the same for me.
I reach into the front seat and take my bag, dropping it on the concrete path before leaning over the passenger seat and giving Callum a peck on the cheek.
‘I can’t thank you enough, Callum.’
‘Hey, the minute Grayson rocked up with you I knew you had to be special to him. You make a friend of mine that happy then you’re our friend for life too.’
‘That means more to me than you’ll ever know. Please tell Kirima I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.’
‘You got it, kiddo. Now scoot before anyone starts asking too many questions.’
I nod, words failing me when I want to say so much. I can’t look back at Grayson for fear of changing my mind. I pick up the handle to my suitcase and start walking, one foot in front of the other. I pass through the glass sliding doors of the terminal and let them swallow me and my luggage.
There are few passengers milling about the airport. I ignore them and make my way to the nearest ticket counter to purchase my ride out of the country. I’m asked where I want to go. I tell her I’ll take whichever plane leaves first. The lady in her smart uniform seems surprised I’m paying cash, but stranger things have happened. She tags my baggage and hands me a boarding pass. I accept, the symbolism meaning much more than it does to most.
As I walk away, she watches me go, no idea that she has just handed me my freedom.
Twenty-Nine
GRAYSON
‘Well that can’t have been easy,’ says Callum as we drive off.
‘Not even by a long shot. I feel empty—hollow. She’s been gone all of five minutes but the distance feels eternal.’
‘Don’t worry, mate, we’ll get things figured out.’
We can hear the banging in the boot from inside the car. In the early hours of the morning the traffic is quiet, leaving us to drive back towards the city mostly unobserved.
‘So, what’s next?’ Callum asks, staring out at the road as breaking dawn filters the sky.
‘We need to go back to the apartment, there’s a few things we’re gonna need.’
‘Do you think that’s wise considering we left the other guy in the stairwell?’
‘Probably not, but either way, I have to go. You just circle the block for fifteen minutes while I’m up there. With him kicking around in the trunk, you don’t want to be parked stationary on the curb in case someone walks past and hears his carry-on.’
‘You’re right about that.’
‘Besides, I don’t think that guy would have stuck around. I’m sure he doesn’t want a run-in with the police, either.’
We’re silent for the rest of the trip, both of us on high alert and still a little strung out from earlier. My mind is going crazy, running every single scenario around and around, wondering what in the hell I can possibly say to Alex to convince him that going after Evie is not something he wants to do. Just threatening him won’t do. He needs to believe that his life is in real danger should he decide to pursue that line of thinking.
And Evie, how in the world am I going to find Evie? I promised her I would and I’m not about to break that promise, but I get the feeling things are going to be even more difficult than I was imagining.
I’m distracted from my thoughts by the sudden influx of vehicles surrounding us. The early morning city traffic consists of ladder-climbers and CEOs, desperate to get their prime parking spots before the masses descend upon the city. We follow them like ants to the nest, all in a neat little line along the bitumen roads. Eventually we pull away from them, taking the riverfront street where Evie’s apartment is—was located on.
Callum pulls around to the back of the building, discreetly dropping me off before heading back into traffic. I scour the area before making my way back around to the front foyer, pleased that this time around I’ve at least got the keys to the place.
The building is quiet on the ride up, the normal hum minimised by sleeping tenants. I slip unnoticed out of the elevator and into the apartment. The evidence of our earlier scuffle is scattered across the floor. Broken bits of glass, upturned tables and littered cushions are scattered about the entry way. I ignore the mess and hurry back to the main bedroom. It’s hard to imagine that Evie ever had a life here with that guy. There is nothing personal to say she was ever here at all, despite this being her prison for many years.
In the closet, the safe is still open. There are no feelings of immorality as I go through its contents. I start pilfering items I think will be useful, and of course, those that won’t. I’m sure with everyone else taking wads of cash out of there, Alex won’t miss one more. This is my insurance to make sure that I can keep my promise to Evie; that I will travel to the ends of the earth to find her. Artists slash baristas don’t make much money, ya know?
From my raid in the bedroom I don’t find what I’m looking for, so I head out to scour the kitchen drawers. Third drawer down I hit jackpot. It’s an address book. Flicking through its contents I can see a list of people and their details, all written in Evie’s neat script. I pocket that as well before carefully locking up behind me. I don’t bother to check the stairwell on the way out because it’s locked from the inside. The guy who we trussed up in there would have had a very long walk down to the ground floor, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have stuck around to see if we were coming back.
There’s no sign of Callum’s car on the street, so I decide to keep moving and head down towards the next block where he’ll be cornering shortly. Sure enough, Callum makes the turn just before I do, but almost misses me because he’s not expecting me to be waiting there. I wave him down, and luckily he catches sight of me before it’s too late. I hop in the passenger seat, out of breath from my exploits.
‘You get what you were looking for?’
‘Yep.’
‘Okay, where to?’
‘You still got that rig you made for the tinny?’
‘The one for hauling up a big catch without tipping the damn boat?’
‘That’s the one.’
‘Sure I do. What’d you have in mind?’
‘Let’s go fishing.’
I can see the cogs turning in Callum’s head, trying to catch up with me. He takes the exit onto the highway as he catches my drift.
‘Ho, ho, ho! Seriously Grayson, you’re a little bit more badass than I ever thought you were.’
‘Yeah? Well, you mess with my girl, you’re gonna know just how far I will go to play the game until the end.’