by K. C. Enders
“Lisbeth, what? What’s wrong?” Aidan’s fork clatters to his plate as he reaches for me.
A hot flush climbs up my neck, setting my cheeks on fire. “I can’t see that woman, Aidan. I won’t do it. Not yet.”
His roaring laughter snaps my attention.
“What the fuck is so funny about this?” I’m seething.
“Lis, no. Give me some credit, I’m not that daft.”
I’m not so sure.
“I want to take you to Howth, a fishing village up north—to feed the seals. Sammy’s a local celebrity, loves getting a fish head thrown to him, waving at all the pretty girls. He’s quite a flirt.” He gazes at me over his pint glass, and I’m not sure if he’s being flippant.
His eyes go dark then, intensely serious—dangerous.
“Then I’m going to take you to spend the night in a castle and remind you—repeatedly—how much I love you.”
Oh.
Chapter 43
Aidan
Over and over and over again.
I show her how much I’ve missed her. How much I love her.
I drink in every single moment I can with Lis, savoring the time we have. I don’t want to spend even a minute sleeping.
Her laughter as she fed the seals was musical. Hearing my name on her lips as she comes undone, is something I will never get enough of.
The pale light of early morning filters through the castle window, highlighting Lis’ kiss-swollen lips, and her messy hair.
I don’t want to let her leave.
I check my watch and think of how little time there is until we have to leave for the airport.
I have her. But I have to let her go.
I still have to say goodbye.
“Hey, you let me fall asleep.” Lisbeth’s voice is raspy from sleep. I feel her graze my neck as she runs her finger down to rest over my heart. “I didn’t want to miss out on any time—I didn’t want to waste this, any of it.” Her warm palm rests on my skin and her fingers toy absently with my nipple.
“What’s…what’s the plan? How are we going to do this, until you get back?” And there it is. Her need to know and my complete and utter lack of answers. It could be weeks, yet. It could be months.
Sifting my fingers through her hair, watching the light play with the silken strands, I press a kiss to her forehead. “We’ll do whatever we need to to see each other. I’m going to bust my arse to get everything taken care of here as quickly as possible, but…” I move her on to my chest, needing to have her closer, hating the words that hang between us, “…but it could still be some time. Are you going to be okay?”
I search her face, cradled between my palms needing reassurance that this will work. That we’ll be okay.
“I will be. I’m going to dive into my classes, get lost in studying for the nursing boards. I’ll be busy, but I will miss you every single moment.” Lis leans forward brushing her lips across mine in a slow sensuous kiss. One full of all the emotions that neither of us seem to be able to put into words.
I roll us gently so I’m braced above her, breaking the kiss only enough to whisper against her lips, “I love you, Lisbeth. Don’t want to imagine being without you.”
I want her, but more than that, I want her to know it’s with my heart—not just my cock.
She shifts beneath me, pulling me closer.
“I came here to say goodbye. To be done with us, to move on.” Lisbeth slides her hand down my torso, fitting it between our bodies. She wraps her long slender fingers around my cock and strokes me gently. “I never imagined that we would be here. Together but still saying goodbye.”
I kiss a trail down her neck, across her collarbone, tasting her, breathing her in. Memorizing every detail until we are together again. There’s nothing between us, not a fucking thing. No history, no past, no misunderstandings.
“Not goodbye. This isn’t goodbye, Lisbeth. This is forever.”
She gasps as I slide into her, twining her legs around me. With my heart beating against her hand, I hold the other one above her head, my thumb rubbing circles on her wrist. Each of us feeling the pulse of this love that neither of us expected to find.
I rock slowly, not wanting an inch of space between us. Wanting to draw this out as long as possible. Wanting to stay here forever in this perfect bubble and never let her go. I suppress every primal urge to mark her as mine for all the world to see.
Instead, I love her, worship her body, and thank God she’s given me another chance.
Lis’ gasps mix with mine as we move against each other—with each other. Climbing. Building. I want to touch her everywhere all at the same time, desperate to show her how much I love her, how she owns every piece of my heart.
Slowly, we reach the top of the wave, our orgasms thrumming reverently through us. The world falling away leaving only the two of us, nothing else.
We’ve delayed it—we’ve actively avoided it.
And now we’re late to the airport.
“Ohmygod ohmygod… I’m not gonna miss my flight, am I?” Lis is frantic, bouncing and shifting in her seat. “Aidan, I cannot miss this flight. My classes start tomorrow.”
Her eyes are wide and pleading, all the serenity from the hours of losing ourselves in one another, gone.
I whip the car into a spot blessedly open in the front row of the car park. Lisbeth jumps out and meets me at the boot of the car.
I grab her bag and her hand and we run like mad for the terminal.
“You won’t miss it. Boarding isn’t ’til half ten. You’ll”—I glance at my watch and grind my teeth—“you should be okay.”
Hands clasped, we weave and dodge through the crowds of slow-moving people—people who actually showed up on time. People who are on holiday. People who don’t have to put half of their heart on a plane across the ocean not knowing if it will be two weeks or two months until they can be together again.
We’re both panting, breathing heavy as we skid to a stop at the airline desk.
“I-I need to check in for a flight to New York?” Lis is digging through her purse for her passport spilling bits and things onto the desk and floor. “Um—sorry, I know it’s here. Aidan? Where did I put my—oh God, here it is. Sorry.”
“Well. You are cutting it close, then. Checking any baggage with us today?” The attendant is obviously put out by our tardiness.
“No. I just have a carry-on.”
“Gate 414. Security is to your left. You’ll want to hurry.”
This is the part I’ve been dreading. The line through security is short, almost nonexistent.
I want to beg her to stay. And I absolutely can’t. Instead, I walk with her as far as I can, clinging to her hand, spinning my ring around her finger.
When I’ve gone as far as I can, I turn her so that she’s facing me, mere inches between us.
I’m stalling.
Time is running out, and all the things I couldn’t find the words for earlier, are fighting their way to the surface. I open my mouth and close it again. There’s too much to say and not nearly enough time.
“You’ll call, yeah, when you land?” I pull the lapels of her jacket together, not wanting to let her go. “When you get back to the flat?”
I’m fighting to be strong for her, fighting to keep my tears at bay.
“I will. I promise.” She settles her hands on my forearms, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You’ll come back to me soon?” Her eyes overflowing with emotion.
I swallow hard and nod, echoing her words. “I will. I promise.” I kiss her thoroughly, tasting the salt of her tears, only letting go when I absolutely have to. With whispered I love yous, our fingers slowly sliding apart, I watch Lisbeth—my entire world—walk through security and away from me. I watch her as long as I can, until she disappears in the sea of people. Only then, when she’s no longer visible, do I let go and let the tears stream freely.
LIS
Once I’m through security, I do my best to get lost in t
he throngs of bodies moving toward the departure gates.
I need to catch my breath.
I need to talk myself into getting on this plane.
I need to see his face one last time.
Twisting to look over my shoulder, I see him. I see the moment he thinks I’m gone, consumed by the crowds.
My tears matching his, flow down my cheeks.
Leaving Aidan like this is the hardest thing I can imagine. The only thing making it bearable, is knowing that our love is strong enough to endure whatever gets thrown our way.
Epilogue
Gracyn
Lis stumbled through the door late this morning, arms full of pies and wine for Thanksgiving. She practically dropped everything trying to get her boots off. I had to hide in the kitchen, slugging back the rest of my mimosa afraid of what would come flying out of my mouth.
She bitched at me for not helping her. Laughed at me for trying to pull off Thanksgiving dinner. To be fair, I don’t know what I was thinking. I figured fried chicken was close enough to turkey and we’d make it work, but Kate vetoed that and went on a cooking spree. Food was never the point of today anyway.
Lis wanders back into the kitchen as Kate takes the turkey out of the oven. “Smells amazing in here. Kate, what can I do to help?” Neither of us did much cooking when we lived together, but Kate is ah-freaking-mazing.
“Nothing, really. Gracyn just needs to set the table and we should be ready pretty soon. Wait, can you open the champagne I have in the fridge?”
Lis goes to the fridge digging around for the bottle I hid behind every available condiment jar.
I check the big clock over the bookshelf and grab plates and silverware, hurrying out to the table we set up behind the couch.
The cork makes a deep satisfying pop and Lis brings the bottle out setting it on one end of the table. “Are we—is there someone else coming?” she asks as she scans the table set for four. “Oh shit, is Kate still on that dating site? Do we finally get to meet one of them?”
Kate slides out of the kitchen, leaning a shoulder on the wall, not wanting to miss anything.
“We do have someone joining us, but it’s—”
And right on time, almost like we planned every little detail, the door swings open.
It takes all of four strides for Aidan to cross the room, weave his fingers into her hair and kiss Lis silly.
Aidan asked me to help him surprise Lis when he got his visa mess fixed. He wanted this to be a special moment. One that will become so much more.
And by the shock on her face it looks like we did it. This is worth all the planning and lying and scheming I’ve done over the past three weeks.
Their love is palpable, seeing them finally together after so long. Lis touching his face, his arms, his chest like she can’t believe he’s really here.
Aidan beaming at her, his fingers threaded through her hair, pulling her in for a kiss that promises so much more.
I drag Kate into the kitchen, feeling bad, like we’re intruding, giving them a little privacy.
No one deserves this kind of love more than Lis. She’s been through enough and seeing her happy makes my heart swell and my eyes leak.
Someday, I want what they have—the kind of love they share.
I brush at my tears, stowing my emotions quickly, trying to keep my thoughts from running straight to Gavin. This moment is all about Lis.
I love it.
Love her being in love.
Love the ring I know he has in his pocket.
Love that she’s going to say yes.
Acknowledgments
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you that have touched my life along the way. You all mean the world to me.
Kate. This would have never happened without you. You’re the other half of my brain—probably the better half.
Lynsey. Your inspiration and input are what started this mess. Credit or Blame…it’s up to you.
Marisol, Kate S., Shawn, Chad B., and Chelsea. Your support, encouragement, and feedback have made this book what it is. Thank you.
The ladies in McBride’s on Main, A Novel Bunch KC, and all the real-life bartenders at Cinder Block Brewery, thank you for the words of encouragement, your enthusiasm and the pints poured and endured while I wrote at the bar. Someday I’ll try to figure out the bottles of bourbon and the barrels of beer that went into the writing of this!
When everything started to crumble and the world demanded I quit this crazy adventure, thank you for seeing me through to the finish.
About the Author
Writer and reader of all the books.
Her words are fueled by craft beer, good bourbon and of course, coffee.
She’s married to her best friend and the love of her life, proud mom to two amazing men—who know how to cook, clean, and always open doors for ladies. You’re welcome. And then there’s the three dogs she lovingly rescued and introduced into a cushy life of leisure.
Karin is a New York girl living in a Midwest world.
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