I led Jake to the dance floor and we started to dance. Jake was really touchy-feely tonight and he pulled me close to him, grinding his hips into mine, “I really want you again tonight.” He said, “I’ve missed being in you.”
I blinked. Jeez. He was being a bit vocal about things tonight, “Yeah,” I agreed, “I’ve missed you being in me.”
He pulled me close and smashed his mouth against mine in a claiming kiss. Just what the fuck was he trying to prove? I pulled away from him slightly and smiled. Leading him to the middle of the dance floor, I pressed myself a little closer to Jake.
River would no doubt clock us there sooner or later – and two could play at his game of simulating sex…
It was really easy to get Jake in the mood to dance dirty. He was as turned on as the rest of the crowd watching River and Alfie eating each other’s faces off and rubbing their crotches together for all they were worth.
I kept watching River to see if he’d noticed us. He hadn’t up to now, making me feel as if I was showing myself up for no good reason. Still, Jake was totally enjoying himself and that made me feel pretty good about myself.
“I’m gonna fuck your brains out when we get home,” he murmured in my ear as we danced.
I nodded, “Yes, you are.” I agreed, “I want your dick deep inside me. I still want to be able to feel you there when I’m working tomorrow.”
He growled, “Oh, believe me, you will.” He said, “I’m gonna make sure you can feel it for days.”
My dick twitched, but not at his words. River had finally seen us and the look on his face was the way I imagined mine had looked when I’d first seen him and Alfie going at it. Well. Serves you right…
I averted my gaze and looked Jake right in the eye, “Kiss me.” I demanded, “Show me what you’re gonna do later with your dick.”
He grinned delightedly, “You’re very demanding tonight.” He said, “I think I like it.”
I raised an eyebrow, sure he wouldn’t go for my next demand, “I want your arse,” I whispered in his ear, “I’m gonna fucking own it.”
He shook his head, his eyes clouding a little, “Nope.” He said, “You know I don’t do that.”
I sighed, suddenly frustrated and hurt that he always wanted to fuck me but he wouldn’t allow it the other way around, “I’m not your fucking bitch, man.” I said, “I have needs too.” I shoved him away from me, “I’ve had enough dancing.” I added grumpily, “I’m getting a drink.”
I left him in the middle of the dance floor, with a rather prominent erection and a face like thunder.
He joined me at the bar a couple of minutes later, “What the hell was that all about?” he asked, “You’ve never been bothered before.”
I shrugged, “Maybe talking to River has made me want to try new stuff.” I said cagily, “He’s comfortable doing both – I feel like I’m missing out on something… Something that you and he know and enjoy and I’m like a little kid that doesn’t know.”
He gaped at me, “I’ll buy you a stroker – it’s not so different.”
I rolled my eyes, “Fuck off!” I said, “I can buy my own fucking stroker – I want to feel the heat, man – I want to know it’s your muscles squeezing my dick and I want to hear you screaming my name as I slam into you.” Shit, I’d better shut up before he starts thinking I have actually done it before…
He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “I had no idea you felt this way about it.” He said, sounding stressed, “I won’t bottom, though Jodie – so if this is gonna be a problem, maybe we should re-think things.”
I looked at him in shock, “You’re breaking up with me?” I asked.
He shrugged, “If I’m not making you happy – not fulfilling you…”
I found myself getting angry, “You’re just trying to find a way out – you’re fucking that Steve guy aren’t you?”
He emphatically denied it but I was in no mood now to be rational about anything much. I just wanted to be in a towering temper – about everything.
“I’m going home.” I shouted in his face, “You stay here and get laid by someone who actually wants to be topped.”
I marched out of the bar and was heading for the taxi rank when he caught me up, “Jodie, wait.”
I turned, expecting him to apologise and to gather me in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be okay – the way he always did – but this time, he didn’t…
“I called Steve.” He said, “He said I can go and stay with him for a couple of days – it makes sense to be closer to the job.”
I gaped at him, “But it’s Christmas next week – will you be coming back for that?”
He nodded, “Oh, sure.” He said, “But I think we need to think about what we’ve said to each other tonight – I need to get a little perspective and I’m guessing you do too – I think we need to decide what we really mean to each other.”
I sucked in a shuddery breath. He really was thinking about finishing with me – and if River was right about Steve – he was playing right into his hands. “I guess I’ll see you next week then – what day will you be back?”
“We break up on the twenty-third,” he said with a sad little smile, “I’ll be back with you for Christmas and we can talk things through then.”
I nodded, “I guess I’ll see you then.”
Chapter 38 – Commitment...?
River
It was a shock to see Jake dancing with Jodie. Jake had never really been one for displaying his sexuality for all to see but the way he was dancing with Jodie was really quite an eye-opener.
I glanced at Jodie who seemed to be staring straight at me. His eyes were blazing and his whole demeanour told me that he was seriously pissed off with me.
But why, when he was grinding up against his boyfriend for all he was worth? He surely couldn’t be feeling jealous? He was the one that wanted to stay in his ‘committed’ relationship instead of taking a chance on me. He was hardly being fair…
Alfie was grinding up against me and I was distracted momentarily when I felt his hard dick against mine. That was hot – and the wad of twenties in the waistband of my shorts wasn’t to be sniffed at either. Alfie and I worked the crowd to our advantage and went home with more money than any of the other guys put together.
I pushed him away slightly, “I just need a minute,” I said, “Drink break.”
Alfie smiled and nodded, “Cool.” He said and turned to show the guys behind him how aroused he was.
I hopped down and headed over to the bar. I found Jake alone, “Hey, Jake.” I said, “How’s it going?”
He shrugged miserably, “Jodie and I had a big fight.” He said dolefully, “He said he was going home. I think we need a break.”
My heart took off. It was everything I’d been hoping for. “Why?” I asked, trying to keep the delight out of my voice.
He shrugged, “Seems we want different thing – I thought he was cool with things the way they were but…” he trailed off.
I racked my brains trying to work out what he was talking about and then I remembered that Jake didn’t like to bottom – but I was fully aware that Jodie really liked to top… Hmm.
“I’m gonna stay at Steve’s for a few days – give him time to cool off and work out if he wants me or not.”
I was about to open my mouth and insist that I was sure that he did – but suddenly I wasn’t all that sure anymore. Maybe I’d given him a taste of something better. I nodded, “Sure – will you back for Christmas?”
He nodded, “I’ll be back on the twenty-third,” he said.
I nodded. That gave me four days…
*
By the time I got home it was well after midnight and I figured that Jodie would have long been in bed but I was wrong. He was waiting up for me.
“Hey,” I said softly as I walked into the living room to find him sprawled on the sofa watching some god-awful rerun on one of the crappy channels.
; He flicked the button on the remote, turning the TV off and turned to me, “Hey yourself.” He snapped, scowling up at me, “Good night, was it?”
I raised an eyebrow, “As it happens, yes it was – I made a fortune in tips.” I threw the wad of twenties down on the coffee table in front of him. There had to be in excess of six hundred notes there.
His eyes widened, “Wow,” he murmured, “You really must have put on a good show – sure you didn’t fuck him?”
I snorted, “Yeah, right – course I did.” I scoffed.
His face showed how upset he was. “It was really difficult for me to see you up there playing tonsil tennis and grinding up against him.”
I raised an eyebrow, “How the fuck do you think I feel when I can hear you two going at it like a pair of fucking rabbits when I’m in the next room? Kettle calling teapot, dude?”
He sighed, “Yeah, I know,” he said, “I realise that I’m being unreasonable.”
I nodded, “It’s my job – it means nothing to me or Alfie. All it does it get him riled up for his boyfriend. He doesn’t want me,” Nobody wants me. “He’s with that Lionel guy now,” I didn’t much care for his new boyfriend. I totally got the feeling that Alfie was high sometimes when we danced together and he’d never been like that before he’d started dating his new boyfriend, but it wasn’t any of my business. “– and I’m not with anyone… as you well know.” Since you only want to be with me when you’re drunk.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered.
I sighed, “Yeah,” I said, “I know you are.”
“Jake’s gone.” He said, “He left an hour ago.”
I nodded, “Yeah – I spoke to him at the club – he’s staying with that Steve guy.”
Jodie rubbed his eyes, “He’s screwing him, isn’t he?” he asked.
I shrugged, “I don’t know.” I said with a sigh, “Maybe you should ask him. I’ll see you in the morning dude, night.”
“Night,” he mumbled.
I headed off to bed, hoping like crazy that he’d follow me and ask to share my bed – but it would be out of anger at his boyfriend’s behaviour – and anger at himself for feeling jealous of me dancing with Alfie. It wouldn’t be for the reasons I wanted him to share my bed. I wanted him to be mine – exclusively. We’d had two drunken sex sessions and a very passionate kiss in the shed at the allotments. The next time we had sex – I wanted it to be because he was in love with me... Anything less than that was just intolerable.
Chapter 39 – Carelessness...
Jodie
I don’t think I’d ever felt more awkward about myself in my life. I’d behaved like a petulant child last night. I’d riled Jake up and then got all stupid and bitchy with him – just because he’d wanted to have sex when we got home. I didn’t deserve him as a boyfriend. I was suspecting him of having something going on with this Steve guy – but even if he did – I wasn’t the innocent party. I’d had sex with River twice now – once could be called a mistake. Twice was just carelessness.
And my behaviour towards River wasn’t any better. Dancing provocatively just to get a reaction? What the hell was that all about? I should have been leaving him alone. But I did get one. He’d definitely been jealous... and that had made my heart soar...
My phone rang. I looked at the screen. Jake.
I heaved a sigh and then answered the phone.
“Oh, Jodie.’ He said, “I’m so sorry I ran off – I don’t know what I was thinking. I talked it all through with Steve and...”
I bristled at the thought of him discussing our love life with this Steve guy.
“What did he have to say about it?” I asked sharply.
“He thinks I should come back and we need to work things through.”
“Did you tell him that you don’t bottom?”
There was a beat of silence and I knew then that he was lying, “No.”
“Liar.” I said and ended the call.
I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. What the hell had happened to me? I would have never considered cheating on Jake in a million years if I’d never come here.
I’d had my head turned by a pretty-boy dancer and I’d turned into some sort of a wanton...
And before I met him, I’d never really considered whether I preferred to top or bottom. It had never really occurred to me. The more I analysed why I’d never been bothered, the more I realised that it was because I hadn’t really been thinking about how exciting my sex-life could be with another guy.
With Jake it had been comfortable and sweet and nice – and yeah, I’d been satisfied – well, satisfied enough for what I already knew, in any case...
But with River it was something else entirely – exciting and dirty and sweaty and intense. And I’d loved every fucking second of it.
River knocked on my door at that moment. I sat up, my head swimming a little, “Yeah?”
He popped his head around the door, “Ready for work, mate?” he asked.
I jumped up, “Fuck.” I said, “Sorry – I was miles away...”
River smiled, “On a beach in the Mediterranean?”
I smiled back at him, “I wish.”
He grinned then, “Maybe we could go together sometime.”
I nodded, “Yeah,” I agreed, “that would be lovely.”
Chapter 40 – Fairy tale ending...
River
No good was ever going to come from imagining that Jodie and I could ever have a future together. I could tell myself this a million times a day but it never stopped me hoping.
I wanted him to be mine. I wanted to have the fairy tale ending with him – but it was never going to happen.
Jake was my best friend.
I was in love with his boyfriend.
It had disaster written all over it.
Fuck.
I glanced across the dining room towards Jodie’s section. He was taking the order from a couple of well-to-do looking women and smiling and laughing with them. My heart swelled with pride. He was brilliant at this.
The next second my attention was attracted by one of my own diners and I went to see what they needed. By the time I looked back across towards Jodie, he’d disappeared.
I sighed. I needed to talk to him. Maybe I could talk to him tonight. Tell him that I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him properly.
We’d have to tell Jake together and hope for the best.
I finished my shift, feeling a little lighter of heart that I’d made a decision. It wouldn’t be easy confessing to Jake that I’d fallen in love with his boyfriend – but it had to be done. Only then could we all move on without carrying around this unbearable weight of guilt...
Jodie was quiet on the way home. He was clearly brooding about something. Should I tell him that I’d come to a decision? Well, I guess I had to since it involved confessing that we’d both cheated on Jake...
I took a deep breath, “I want to tell Jake what’s been going on.”
His head swivelled around on his neck so quickly, I was amazed he didn’t suffer whiplash, “What?” he cried, “Why?”
I faltered. He really wasn’t on board with this, “I uh, because...” No. He really wasn’t on board with this. My heart sank. He clearly didn’t feel the same way. I’d imagined everything. Sad bastard... “Nothing,” I said, “Forget it – I was just feeling guilty. I’ll keep your secret – our secret.”
He eyed me nervously, “Are you sure?” he asked.
I nodded, “I promise.” I said, “It’s better all round if he never finds out.”
Jodie nodded, “Damned right.” He muttered.
As I pulled into the drive, I was a little shocked – and a little pissed off – to see Jake’s car parked in what had become his spot. “Your boyfriend’s back.” I murmured.
Jodie nodded. He had the door open and had shot up the path as fast as his legs could carry him.
I followed slowly. The last thing I needed was to see those two making up.
I didn’t have to watch – they’d shot off straight to their bedroom instead.
I put some music on. I really didn’t want to listen to their grunts and cries of passion either, thanks.
Jake was the first one to re-appear.
I looked at him, “All sorted out?” I asked.
He smiled and nodded, “I think so.” He said, “I hope so...”
I nodded. I hoped not...
Chapter 41 – Past conquests...
Jodie
“Right.” I smiled at Jake who was still lounging in bed even though it was almost eleven in the morning. “I have to get going – no rest for the wicked – I have the lunchtime Christmas rush to contend with.”
He frowned at me, “Who’s in today?”
I shrugged, “River, me, Peyton’s covering the front desk, Luca, Sam... Franny and Mandy...”
His frown turned to a scowl, “Is the bodyguard gonna be around?”
I grinned, “Which one – Kody or his actual bodyguard?”
He snorted, “The one he’s fucking – but then, he’s probably fucking both of them – he seems to want to surround himself with past conquests...”
I frowned. Past conquests? What was he trying to say? “What are you on about?” I asked.
He blinked, “Well, Sam for starters – and River...”
My jaw dropped, “Peyton and River?” I asked. My heart started to thump and I felt as if my blood was humming in by veins all around my body. “Are you sure?”
He nodded, pulling a disgusted face, “It was how River got his job at the club.” He said, “Hasn’t he ever told you that?” he sounded surprised.
I shook my head, “No,” I said, “But then – why should he? It’s none of my business.” He’s a free agent...
Jake just narrowed his eyes, “No reason, I guess.” He said.
*
I was furious by the time we got to work. It was irrational. Of course it was – it had happened long before we’d even met. But I couldn’t help feeling as if he’d deliberately kept this information from me when he’d introduced me to Peyton and I’d been interviewed without knowing the full details. Would it have made any difference to me? Would I have still taken the job...? Well, yes. I probably would have, but still...
River... Redeemed (Studs & Steel Book 2) Page 15