by Pene Henson
Lien considers her and grins. “Well, no, you have to like parties and people.”
Claudie flushes. She’s stung. “I like people. I used to like parties, too.” It’s mostly true.
Lien holds up her hands. “Sorry. That, no. That wasn’t really what I meant. But—I guess. You’re happy with your own company. I don’t see that a lot back in Sydney. Most of my friends are out all the time; we’re always busy at parties and surrounded by people. Everything’s done fast or not at all. In Sydney it’s strange to have time that’s quiet. But here all your time is quiet. And somehow you don’t seem lonely. You seem certain of yourself, here or wherever you are.”
“It’s lonely sometimes,” Claudie admits.
“Do you have to stay here?”
“I guess not. I signed a contract for one year. That’s been over for more than two. But I stayed.” She thinks. “I could go if I wanted to.”
Lien’s direct. “Do you want to go?” She studies Claudie.
“There are good things. It’s a good life. I’m still here so I guess I don’t.”
They watch one another. Claudie can’t look away from Lien. Her eyes fix on Lien’s throat, then her wide mouth, her dark and brilliant eyes.
Oh.
She swallows with difficulty. She can’t kiss Lien; she rescued her. It’d be taking advantage of the fact that they’re trapped here. It would be exploitative. She’s not that woman.
Lien moves closer. The sky is bright blue and silver-gray behind her. Her tongue flicks out to touch her lip.
Claudie shifts away. “I need to go and um—take a look at the roof. From indoors.” Her voice croaks.
Lien blinks. She freezes. “Of course. No, sorry. Of course.” Her cheeks are red.
“It’s not that I don’t—Sorry.” Claudie goes into the house.
After a few minutes Lien follows. This situation is not going to suddenly be less awkward. Even if she never goes back inside and stays standing here on the deck until she can get out of here, she’ll still be embarrassed.
Inside, Claudie’s putting away the plates and cups. Lien goes to help. The space in the cabin is cramped. It’s always been small, but it hasn’t been impossible. Now Lien tried to kiss Claudie; now Lien has to shrink into herself so she can move past Claudie without brushing against her.
But when Lien can look at Claudie again, Claudie’s blushing too; her cheeks are pink under her tan as she turns away from Lien. However much Claudie rejected Lien, the electricity between them is not one-sided. At least Lien hasn’t made a complete fool of herself over someone who hasn’t even noticed her.
They don’t have much to do in the cabin, definitely not enough to fill all the space they’re keeping between them.
It’s still daylight when Claudie steps into the kitchen to cook. She sighs, her head half in the pantry. “What can we make this time? We have a tin of beans and tomatoes—”
“Sounds like about half of a recipe for chili,” Lien says.
“That’ll work. That okay with you?”
“Of course. Hey, you know I’m gonna pay you back for all of this. Once I’m out of here.”
Claudie nods slowly. “Okay. Thanks.”
Claudie throws everything together in a big heavy pot and turns on the gas. “Best if it cooks for a while,” she says. “Hey, I’m going out to check on the generator. If the water’s gone, I can get it back on.”
Lien watches from inside as Claudie stands on her toes to flick a switch at the power box thing above the door. Nothing happens. Claudie opens the door and grabs her tool kit. She pulls on her boots and heads out. After a few minutes, the light in the living room sputters and comes to life. The refrigerator clunks twice, then hums.
Claudie walks back in.
“You did it!” Lien says. She bounces across the room and grabs Claudie in a tight hug. “I can’t believe it.”
Claudie’s eyes are bright. She’s smiling. “I couldn’t get to it before. There was too much standing water. It would have been really unhelpful to have electrocuted myself. But there was nothing much wrong. A circuit had blown. Stupid system. Do you want the first shower?” she asks. “It’ll be hot in about half an hour.”
“Oh, my god.” Lien catches her breath. “Oh. No, you have it first. You fixed it, you deserve it.”
“I think you’re missing showers a lot more than I am,” Claudie says. “Maybe more than any human.” Her lips are pressed together, and her eyes twinkle. The certainty and fondness make Lien’s heart pause.
“Thank you,” Lien says.
Half an hour later she’s standing under the flow with water rushing over her head. She’s warm and soapy. The water pressure’s not great, which makes sense. The plumbing probably trails from the tank up the hill. It hardly matters. Every second Lien spends under the warm flow makes her more herself.
She wraps herself in a towel. It’s nerve-racking walking across the room, but Claudie keeps her eyes turned to the floor. “I got you some clean clothes if you want them,” Claudie says.
Claudie’s given her running shorts and another band T-shirt. As she walks into the bedroom to dress, she’s pretty certain Claudie’s eyes are on her back.
7
The night’s crept up. Lien’s ready for bed. She brushes her teeth and beams at herself in the bathroom mirror. The room’s tiny enough that she could touch both walls from the toilet. She spits and rinses her mouth. Her hair is a dark shining sheet. Finally it’s clean. Claudie’s Silverchair T-shirt is soft from wear. It hangs loose about Lien’s body. Lien hitches up the neckline, but it’s not much use. She is going to have to let go of the fact that she looks like a Flashdance backup dancer.
She walks into the empty living room. “Come out here,” calls Claudie from the deck.
Claudie’s leaning on the railing looking over the vast expanse of nothing. “Come and stand at the edge here,” she says. “It’s like the edge of the universe.”
It’s dark; there’s nothing out there. The world smells rich and wet. Lien holds herself still and looks out with the cabin lights behind her.
“Wait a sec,” says Claudie.
She steps back toward the house and reaches inside the cabin door. Everything goes dark.
“Hey—” Lien can’t see a thing. They haven’t had lights in days, and now Claudie’s turning them off. The blackness seems complete.
“You’re okay,” says Claudie. “It’ll take a moment for your eyes to adjust. I figured—It’s been raining so much. You haven’t had a clear night up here. I wanted to show you.” She moves beside Lien against the railing.
And as Lien’s eyes accustom themselves to the dark, the sky opens up above them. The Milky Way sweeps a path of light across the great black bowl. Around that the night extends from one clear horizon to the other, lit by a thousand layers of stars on stars, dazzling bright in the dark.
The universe goes on forever. It’s huge, and Lien’s tiny and breathless in front of it.
In that moment nothing is worth thinking about beyond that sky, nothing but the huge universe and Claudie’s hand, steady and close beside Lien’s on the railing, Claudie’s warm body so near. Lien twines her pinkie around Claudie’s. They stand under the stars, still and silent.
When Lien turns, Claudie’s cheekbones are traced in blue-white and her eyes reflect a thousand pinprick lights. She’s beautiful. She’s from a whole other world.
Their kiss is inevitable. It’s soft, on an exhale, careful lips against lips with nothing else touching but their fingers tangled on the railing. Claudie opens her mouth to Lien. Lien doesn’t take a breath. She doesn’t think to hold back. She turns to face Claudie, lifts herself to her toes and presses her tongue between Claudie’s lips, catching Claudie’s voiceless moan. She presses her body against Claudie’s chest and breasts, needing more and closer. Claudie draws her in and wraps
her arms around Lien’s shoulders.
They break away. The whole world is stretched out around them.
“Oh,” Lien says. She wants to laugh or cry or maybe stop breathing forever just to kiss Claudie like that.
“Okay.” Claudie’s voice shakes, but she meets Lien’s gaze and smiles a private smile. Her eyes are asking a question. Lien nods and Claudie bends, still smiling, to kiss her again and again.
Lien is compact and breathless against Claudie. She’s up on her toes and kissing back, so intently kissing back. Claudie didn’t plan to kiss her. Honestly, using star gazing as an opening is a shameful cliché. But that shame that doesn’t seem to matter to her body, which has entirely excised her brain.
Claudie holds on tight. She lets herself go. Her heart beats fast and hard in her chest.
When Claudie shifts back, Lien’s brow is drawn into a tiny furrow. Her lips are pink and soft. She’s too pretty to take in. But Lien grins brightly and comes after Claudie. They kiss again, slower. Claudie’s mind is full. She slides her palm upward from Lien’s hip and slips it under her own T-shirt to press her fingers in at Lien’s waist.
“Can I take you to bed?” Claudie asks, speaking too quickly and keeping her voice low so it doesn’t echo over the treetops.
“God, yes. Absolutely,” breathes Lien almost before Claudie’s finished speaking. Lien’s voice holds a laugh, as though she’s amazed there’s any question.
Claudie presses Lien against the cabin wall before they go inside. They kiss again and again, open-mouthed and eager. They’re rushed. Lien’s injured knee is more obvious as they go through the door. Claudie narrowly avoids kicking her. She’s clumsy, foggy with desire. Lien steadies her with a hand on her arm. They kiss again.
In the tiny bedroom, Claudie turns on the bedside light. Lien’s eyes flick to Claudie. Her cheeks are flushed and her pupils are wide and black, confirming Claudie’s welcome. Claudie moves the mosquito netting aside and lowers Lien across the foot of her bed. The bed is low to the floor, and Lien drops back hard onto it. Claudie helps to tug Lien up onto the pillows. They’re not exactly graceful, but the netting drops around them as a veil and makes everything secret and enchanted, the two of them in all the world. Lien looks up from the bed covers; her gaze glints through her black lashes, both bright and dark.
Claudie holds still. “It’s, uh, it’s been a long time since I’ve—” She hesitates. Claudie’s spent three years in the bush. She hasn’t touched anyone except herself. And here’s this gorgeous, polished girl, who’s used to other polished people and so in control of her own self.
“I’m pretty sure you haven’t forgotten anything. Please, Claudie. Come here,” she says. Her soft voice breaks over the words. She reaches for Claudie, and that makes everything easier.
Claudie exhales as she moves forward. “Okay.”
The rain has stopped. Even the birds and animals are quiet, save a tiny peep of a happy frog or the far off shrill of a cicada testing its wet wings. They can hear the sweeping wind in the treetops.
Claudie stretches her body out along Lien’s and supports her head on one hand. Lien reaches out and cups Claudie’s face, and Claudie bends toward her easily, kisses Lien again, and her tongue traces Lien’s parted lips. She runs her hand from Lien’s shoulder over Lien’s chest. Lien’s back arches, pushing her neat breast up into Claudie’s hand. Her nipple is tight under the T-shirt. Claudie buries her fingers in the soft not-even-a-handful flesh of Lien’s breast and kneads.
“Oh.” Lien mewls at the back of her throat. Her hips roll upward against Claudie’s.
Claudie moves closer, hovers over Lien, and supports her weight on her arms. Lien wraps one leg around Claudie’s hip. Her heel smacks against Claudie’s upper thigh. She tightens her grip and drags at Claudie, pulling her down so she lies heavily against Lien. They grind together through layers of clothing.
Lien’s breath is tiny eager pants in Claudie’s ear. It takes will power for Claudie to pause at all.
“Hold up,” she says. She could come far too easily just rubbing herself against Lien’s mobile body. Lien’s moan is mostly a grumble, and Claudie smiles into it, but sits up.
Claudie runs a finger around Lien’s waist, stretching the waist band of her own running shorts which have been dragged low on Lien’s hips. Claudie’s hand slips into the space between the pants and the warm skin of Lien’s belly. When she looks back into Lien’s face, Lien’s lip is caught between her teeth, biting hard.
Claudie trails her fingertips over the soft strip of Lien’s pubic hair, then lower. She presses gently, dips into warmth and wetness there. She doesn’t breathe as Lien drops her head back, mouth open but noiseless, throat bared. Lien’s hips rock upward against Claudie’s hand.
Claudie buries her fingers deeper into Lien and runs circles into the softness, tracing over the nub under Lien’s skin, then dipping farther into Lien’s slit to wet her fingertips. Lien twists under her touch. Claudie runs her wet fingers in tight circles, rubbing harder. Lien arches up again. One of her hands drops to cover her eyes as her body writhes deliciously.
Claudie slides her free hand up Lien’s body to cup and knead her breast. She rolls the nipple between her fingers, and Lien’s head turns to and fro on the pillow with her hand fluttering to cover her eyes; she’s lost in two sensations. Claudie’s heart pounds. Her breath is rough to her own ears. She can’t resist rolling her body to rub against Lien’s thigh.
There’s no one here, nothing to worry about. And they have all the time in the world. Claudie’s groin coils with pleasure, but she holds back.
“Tell me what you want,” Claudie says. She might not have done this in a long time, but she knows what to ask. She can read a body, she prides herself on that, but she doesn’t know Lien well enough to read everything.
“Oh. I don’t know. Keep going.”
“Hey,” Claudie cajoles. “Tell me.”
“I don’t, um—”
“More of this?” Claudie is direct in the face of Lien’s shaky breathing and unexpected reticence. “Or do you want my fingers inside of you? Or my mouth on you. Or something different—”
She stops speaking as Lien holds still. It’s awkward, asking, and maybe Claudie’s got this wrong. Maybe women these days don’t talk about the specifics of what they like in bed. Claudie shakes herself. She’s not that old.
“What do you want?” Lien asks.
Claudie narrows her eyes. “I am very into all of that.”
Lien releases a breath. “God. I mean. Me too. All of that.”
“All that at once?”
“Hush.”
Claudie lets it go. She sits up a little to pull her running shorts down from Lien’s hips. The half-light from the stars traces Lien’s belly.
“Please,” says Lien.
Claudie settles on brushing her fingers over Lien’s clit, then rubbing around and around. She doesn’t slide down Lien’s body. She can read Lien’s response better through her fingertips and by watching Lien’s face, even though Lien has a hand half covering her eyes. Lien’s thighs tighten. Her breathing speeds.
Claudie kisses Lien again, then curls her body to take Lien’s nipple in her mouth. Lien’s exhale is shuddering and sweet. Claudie wraps her tongue around Lien’s nipple and suckles, keeping her hand moving tightly between Lien’s legs. Lien’s hips buck upward; her body goes rigid. Claudie pulls off her nipple to watch her face. Lien’s mouth is open. Her body thrusts up. She drops her hand from her face and meets Claudie’s eyes. Lien’s eyes are frozen on Claudie’s face. She cries out, then bites her lip to choke off anything further.
Claudie holds Lien close as her breathing slows. She tries not to grind against Lien. Lien turns her head and kisses Claudie, deeply and with intent.
“Let me,” she says. Her fingers fumble to unbutton Claudie’s jeans. Lien sits up and grapples to
pull them down. Claudie lifts her hips to help. Lien’s so polished and lovely. Claudie’s been up here in the rough for years. But as Claudie’s pants slip over her hips, Lien devours Claudie with her eyes. Claudie’s too brightly turned on to be shy.
The next afternoon Shelley’s voice crackles through the radio. Claudie climbs out of bed to answer while Lien stretches out on the sheets.
“How you doing, sis?” says Shelley.
“Yeah.” Claudie clears her throat. “Yeah, good.”
“Hey, I’m sorry to do this to you when things are quiet, but the rain brought down a bunch of trees and some power lines. I’ve got the SES checking down this way but no one can get in to the upper roads unless I hire a Caterpillar.”
“Right.” Claudie glances back at Lien. “You want me to check on the power lines up here.”
“Have you got something better to do?”
Claudie exhales. “No.”
Claudie drives out alone. There’s sweetness in leaving someone in her cabin—no, not just any someone. There’s sweetness in leaving warm, dazzling Lien in her bed. Usually Claudie leaves her cabin locked and empty, with everything switched off. Now the place is filled with Lien.
Claudie focuses. The rain’s stopped. As soon as the water subsides, Lien will be gone.
Claudie finds debris on a roadway. She clears it off and drives up the road, making similar stops several more times. When she’s finished, she parks on the dirt driveway and walks to the cabin.
She smiles at Lien; she couldn’t not smile. “I’m famished,” she says.
Lien steps closer and kisses her. “As it happens, I’ve got an early dinner ready.”
Claudie keeps smiling but her smile freezes. She might like the idea of Lien in the cabin and in her bed, but she’s not so excited about Lien’s habit of taking over the place, hunting through cupboards that aren’t hers and cooking as though she owns the place. Claudie takes a breath and thinks. She doesn’t mind Lien being in her space. Worse, she likes it. She doesn’t want to consider how worrying she finds that. She could definitely eat dinner. “Okay. That’s—you’re too good.”