For the Sake of Love

by Chrissie Loveday

  ‘I’ve never really spent time looking at painting before,’ she said as they wandered round the National Gallery. ‘There are so many wonderful paintings, it completely blows the mind.’

  ‘I always plan to look at France’s amazing galleries but somehow, there is always something else to do. Besides, it’s so good not to have people recognising me all the time. I am known in France and so I don’t have the same sort of freedom.’

  ‘I’ve noticed people looking at you here. But I think that may just be because you are so worthy of being looked at.’

  ‘Thank you but perhaps it is simply that they are jealous of me.’

  Sometimes, he spoke lovingly of his home in Provence. She had never visited France, other than Paris, when she went on a school trip. Her experiences abroad largely consisted of regular trips to Spain to see her parents. They had moved there a few years ago, when she had left her own home to live in London. Though she missed them at first, it had its compensations. She always had somewhere warm to go for holidays and her own life had become filled with so many things since she began her job with Personal. She managed to talk to him about her parents and tell him something about her life here. But she was constantly on guard, wary of discussing anything connected with her work. She was too afraid of ruining everything to dare to say much. But he seemed happy enough to talk about his own life.

  ‘Our vineyard is in a small village overlooking the Rhone Valley. It is very beautiful there and warm of course. The wine we make is mostly a rich red, typical of the area. Not dissimilar to Château Neuf du Pape. Most people have heard of that one.’ He spoke of it all with such affection that Amanda wanted to be there.

  ‘How did your parents meet?’

  ‘My father was a wine buyer for a large company in Britain. My mother had taken over the business when my grandfather died. She was an only child and a girl at that, so she had to fight many prejudices. At that time, women in wine did not go down too well. But, they fell in love and pouf! that was it. They were married very quickly and my father had a new wife, a home and family and new job. He loves it there and never had any wish to return to England.’

  ‘So, it runs in the family does it?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Finding love in another country and getting married on impulse?’

  ‘You don’t regret it do you? You don’t want to change your mind?’

  ‘Of course not. I love you Sacha.’

  ‘Et moi aussi. Je t’adore.’

  ‘You make it sound so much more glamorous. I shall have to learn some French, if only to compete.’

  ‘What do you want to do with the rest of today?’

  ‘Let’s go to the zoo. I haven’t been since I was a kid. I just loved it then. Oh and there are the museums. Science and Natural History.’

  ‘I vote for the zoo. We’ve done lots of things indoors and it’s a nice day.’

  ‘This has been such fun. I’ve lived in or near London for years and with you, I’ve seen things I’d never seen before. Maybe we all take the things that are nearby too much for granted. It’s amazing how much we’ve been around and never seen anyone we know. Our secret has been kept safe.’

  The week was ending and suddenly, it was the day before the wedding.

  ‘Will your parents forgive you for not inviting them?’ he asked.

  ‘Probably not. My mother will be hurt that she didn’t get the chance to make plans and buy a lovely big hat. But what about your parents?’

  ‘They will feel the same. Do you mind? It will be a very simple affair. Just the two of us and probably unknown witnesses.’

  ‘As long as it’s you and me, I don’t need anyone else. Except the registrar of course.’

  ‘Then tomorrow it is. I still feel a little guilty not to give you the wedding of your dreams. I know that all girls want a church and a white dress. Flowers, friends and family making a big fuss.’

  ‘When we tell everyone, we can have a party to celebrate. Our parents can all join together and share that if they want to.’

  ‘That will certainly be some occasion.’

  They collected the licence and checked on the booking for the following day. It was such a strange feeling to be facing possibly the biggest event in her life without anyone knowing anything about it. Jenny would be terribly hurt. Probably never speak to her again.

  ‘No regrets, my darling?’ he asked as they were saying goodnight. ‘Our last night of being apart.’

  ‘Of course not. Well, sort of. You’ll be travelling a lot, so there may be many nights of being apart. You’re leaving again on Monday anyway, so we have only two more days and nights together.’

  ‘I know. After this summer season, we can confess it all. The media can have their fun and I can show off my beautiful wife to the whole world.’

  ‘I’m still not sure why it has to be so secret.’

  ‘Fredo has worked to get me a sponsorship deal and the contract does not allow me to be married. Evidently, I’m less attractive to them if I have a wife.’

  ‘I hope it doesn’t spoil anything for you. But, secret it is. The most wonderful secret. I still can’t believe you could love someone like me.’

  ‘You are extraordinary. You are honest. Beautiful and not just wanting me because I may be rich and well known one day.’

  Amanda blanched. He was totally wrong about her. She was a liar and had only met him in the first place because he was a minor celebrity. How he would despise her if he knew the truth. She loved him far too much and dared not risk losing him.

  ‘I want to marry you so very much, Sacha. I want to love you forever and ever and be your wife for always.’

  ‘I promise to love you forever. Goodnight, ma cherie. A demain.’

  ‘Till tomorrow.’

  Alone in her flat, she pondered over her dilemma. Could she go through with this wedding with a lie as the only basis? How could she not? It was much too late now for confessions. She had her small suitcase ready packed. They were going to stay in a hotel for the weekend. Her new pale blue dress hung ready for the ceremony. Blue because Sacha had asked her to wear blue and to have her hair loose. She spoke to no one, not even her parents. There was no hen night. No great celebration. But that could all come later. Sacha had promised they would have a big party at the end of the season, when they could make it public.

  * * *

  Her taxi stopped outside the registry office just before ten o’clock. There he was. Waiting on the steps, holding a box. He was wearing a light grey suit and looking so perfect. She rushed up to greet him with a loving kiss. He gave her the box, containing a delicate orchid. She felt tearful but his warm hug soon settled her nerves.

  ‘I have asked for someone from the registry office to join us to be a witness. We couldn’t ask anyone we know because . . .’

  ‘It’s all right. I know. As long as we are legal, nothing else matters.’

  It was a blissful weekend and everything they both hoped marriage could be. In a lovely but discreet hotel, they had shared what they termed their honeymoon, though Sacha promised her a more exotic one after they announced their marriage.

  ‘I almost feel as if it was a honeymoon sharing so many outings this week. But this has been truly wonderful, Sacha. Thank you.’

  ‘I’m so lucky to have such a beautiful wife.’

  All too soon, it was Monday morning again and Monsieur and Madame Manon shared breakfast for the last time before he had to leave for France and more of his punishing training schedule. Somehow, he had managed to keep Fredo away from them without him knowing anything about the events of the week. Amanda packed her bag and decided to take it into the office. She could always claim she had been to stay with her parents when she faced the inquisitive Jenny.

  ‘Au revoir, ma cherie. I’ll call you later and tell you of my safe arrival. Don’t worry. I shall not be away for long. Two weeks. Three at the most.’

  ‘I shall miss you. It’s been a wonderful week.
’

  ‘An even more wonderful weekend.’ They kissed as her taxi arrived. He stood on the pavement watching as it drove off, his hand raised in farewell.

  * * *

  It was a dreamlike day. Once more it was impossible to concentrate and Amanda feared Penelope’s wrath if she didn’t perform to her usual standard. Somehow, the foolish gossip she was obliged to write seemed even more tawdry than usual. She made up her mind that she should look for another job as soon as possible. Not yet, however. She needed to keep working to try to make the days between Sacha’s visits fly. How her life had changed. She had her shiny new wedding ring on a long chain round her neck and took peeks at it when she was certain nobody was watching.

  ‘So, how was the holiday?’ Jenny demanded as soon as she had time.

  ‘Excellent. Did me good. I feel like a different person.’ She smiled inwardly, knowing she was speaking the truth.

  ‘And Mystery Man? How’s he? Where’s he?’

  ‘He’s gone away again on business. Now, if I don’t pull this article together, I shall be in deep trouble.’

  ‘Poor Amanda. Trust you to find a perfect bloke, I assume he’s perfect? Only to find he’s a frequent flyer. Well, not to worry. We’ll get ourselves out somewhere exciting tonight and see what we can find to cheer you up.’

  ‘Forget it. I have endless catching up to do at home. Washing, cleaning, work. I did nothing most of last week so I need to come down to earth and get back to normal.’

  It was a hard decision, she decided when she finally returned home that evening. She looked around, thinking how small it was. Sacha hadn’t even visited it last week so he had no idea of her simple lifestyle. She felt uncertain about everything now. The rush and excitement of the wedding and the bliss of being with Sacha had allowed her to forget about the next stage in their relationship. It was a terrible anti-climax. Somehow, she still had to confess about her real job. Unless she could give it up and find something else very quickly. But that would be impossible in so short a time. Finding a new job in the magazine world was never easy and it was really all she knew. Her phone rang and she saw his name on the screen of the phone.

  ‘Hello? Sacha? I hope you had a good journey.’

  ‘I’m missing you so much. I need to touch your hair again. To kiss you. To be with you. This is going to be much more difficult than I ever believed. I think you may have to come over to join me in France. Can you come at the weekend? I can’t come back yet. There’s a tournament Fredo has entered me for.’

  ‘But won’t that be too obvious if I turn up in Paris? I mean how will you explain me to Fredo?’

  ‘We can spend Saturday together. I have to practise on Sunday. Please say you will come.’

  ‘We’ve only been apart for one day.’

  ‘I know. It’s dreadful. I hope you’re missing me as much as I miss you.’

  ‘Of course I am. I’ll see if I can make it to Paris. I can come on the Euro Star on Friday night maybe.’

  ‘I shall be waiting for you. In fact I’ll book you a seat right away.’

  ‘Thank you, Sacha. Not before six o’clock though. Speak again soon.’

  He called her back a little later to say it was booked. This was going to be a difficult time to keep her secrets. Perhaps she should tell him the truth at the weekend. Whatever happened, they were so much in love that he must accept it. It was a risk but one she should take if their marriage was truly to be long term. They talked long into the night on the phone. It was something to hold on to. She had never known anyone else with whom she could talk for so long.

  It was only the second time she had been to Paris and never before with someone who knew his way around.

  ‘We have two nights in a little hotel near to Notre Dame. It is a small place but discreet. Much nicer than my rented apartment, which is always shared with others. I hope you don’t mind but I did not want to be seen in one of those fashionable places. I am better known in France than England.’

  ‘Anywhere is fine with me as long as you are there.’

  It was another wonderful time spent together. At the top of the Eiffel Tower, he pointed out city landmarks and some places she might like to visit on her own on Sunday morning before she left for home.

  ‘It’s so beautiful. The whole city like a map so far below us.’ She turned and kissed him, thrilled by the place and his company. There was a flash as someone took a photograph. ‘I hope that wasn’t us they were filming.’

  ‘I don’t know. Perhaps it was just a picture of the view or something. Don’t worry.’

  That evening, he took her to a small restaurant full of students from the nearby Sorbonne University where they ate kebabs, listening to loud music.

  ‘Great atmosphere,’ she shouted above the noise. ‘And great food.’

  ‘One of my favourite places. A throw back to my student days.’

  On Sunday morning, he left her after breakfast and once more they had to part. It had been such a short time for them to be together.

  ‘I hope the effort of travelling here was worth it.’

  ‘Of course it was. How could you doubt it? I’ll see you soon again.’

  ‘A bientôt.’

  ‘A bientôt,’ she repeated, wondering exactly what it meant. It sounded good and he looked so pleased that she was trying out the language.

  This was clearly going to be a very difficult few weeks. Nor had there had been any opportunity to make her confession. Perhaps she might, after all, find another job with a less intrusive magazine before he came back to London again. Halfheartedly, she looked around one of the art galleries before leaving to catch her train back to London. At least the train was all much easier than having to fly backwards and forwards. But for how long would this travelling and secrecy have to go on? It was all too much, she thought, as her eyes were filling with tears.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Anti-climax was depressing her like crazy at the start of the next week. A couple of days later, Jenny dragged her out to lunch, refusing to take no for an answer.

  ‘Right now, Amanda. You’re going to tell me the truth. You went to Paris at the weekend. Why do you look so miserable now? How exciting and why did you go? And what’s more, how could you go there without telling me? That’s such a mega thing to have done. I thought I was supposed to be your best friend.’

  ‘You are my best friend. But how on earth did you know about Paris?’

  ‘You left a Euro Star ticket stub in the waste bin. So why does my so-called best friend keep something like that from me? It’s mega news. Headline stuff.’

  ‘I can’t tell you. Not yet.’

  ‘It’s Mystery Man isn’t it? He lives in Paris. Oh yes. I’m right.’ She clapped her hands together gleefully. ‘Amazing. And you went to see him didn’t you?’

  ‘This is a secret. Promise you won’t tell anyone. I mean it Jen. Nobody.’

  ‘But it’s so romantic. You can’t possibly keep something like this to yourself. Why would you?’

  ‘I have to. You have to.’

  ‘I don’t see why. What’s so special about you going to Paris with a bloke? Oh, I get it. You don’t want anyone to know that little Miss Goody Two Shoes has finally succumbed to a man’s charms.’

  ‘No. It’s all a private affair. Between me and . . . well him. It’s really nobody else’s business.’

  ‘And where’s the gossip writer in you? Gone by the sound of it. Gone. Caput. Oh my god, I get it. He’s somebody famous isn’t he? When did all this start? It’s the tennis player you were sent out to stalk.’

  ‘I didn’t stalk him. That sounds terrible.’

  ‘So I’m right. It’s a tennis star. Who? Which one?’

  ‘Nobody you’d know. You’re even less of sporty soul than I am.’

  ‘Oh Manda . . . this is so exciting. Bags I write up the story.’

  ‘You mustn’t. You can’t. Promise me you won’t even think of it. He hates gossip magazines. Hates the intrusion into his
private life.’ Jenny stared at her friend, her jaw dropping in horror.

  ‘Oh, Amanda. He doesn’t know what your job is. That’s awful.’

  ‘I’d have lost him right at the start if he knew. I love him too much to risk losing him.’

  ‘But you can’t keep pretending for ever.’

  ‘I know. Every time I’ve got close to telling him, I’ve flunked it. But I really want to try and get a job somewhere else. Somewhere that doesn’t deal in gossip and the sort of rubbish we’re producing.’

  ‘Pays the bills though, doesn’t it? And you must admit, it can be a really fun job. You used to think so.’

  ‘I know.’ Her woeful face finally got to her friend. ‘It’s just that I’ve just realised how intrusive it is into people’s lives.’

  ‘Price you pay for getting into the limelight in the first place.’

  ‘But not everyone seeks out such attention. Lots of people just get caught up in publicity. Think of all the people whose lives have been ruined by tabloid attention and gossip magazines. Why are the public so keen to know all the details of someone’s life? Don’t they have lives of their own?’

  ‘Maybe you’re right but I’m not about to give up my job because of some sense of ethical correctness.’

  ‘Fair enough. But you must promise me to keep my news to yourself.’ She wrapped her arms round herself and grinned. ‘I love him so much. I still can’t believe that someone like him can love me.’

  ‘Nonsense. You’re gorgeous and he’s lucky to have you. It’s okay, love. I won’t say anything. Course I won’t. But you do realise that this is probably the hottest story of the year? Do you think he’s really as serious about you as you are about him? Has he said anything about a long term thing?’ Amanda looked away. She was blushing furiously and knew she couldn’t look her friend in the eye. Her hand went towards the chain and her wedding ring hidden away beneath her clothes. ‘He has hasn’t he? More juicy gossip. It’s all too much to keep to myself.’

  ‘Yes, it’s a forever thing. But I can’t say any more. Really I can’t.’