No Greater Love

by Susan Rodgers

  As Deuce let this sink in, the fact that this last attempt to win over the woman he loved was irrevocably failing, Jacob slid on his stomach along the dirt behind Jessie. He could hear the other vehicles approaching now, and he knew there was not much time. That dagger was poised by McCall’s shoulder, and the man was clearly thinking about his next move. It seemed like an eternity but was only the briefest of moments.

  Jessie screamed when she saw something change in Deuce’s eyes, in the instant before the arm gripping the knife went up, up, up and then down, down, down on a curved descent towards Josh’s white T-shirt, towards a high spot in his left abdomen that was exposed and accessible because his arms were tied behind his back.

  Jessie saw Sandy there in front of her, another boy she loved with hair she once savored with her fingertips, a cheek and a neck she adored nuzzling her lips into, a body that fit so perfectly into hers it seemed made for her pleasure alone. A gift from the Gods.

  Returned to the Gods. That’s what she’d thought after Sandy’s death – for the infinite powers of the universe could giveth, and they could taketh away, and that seemed to be the course she was on yet again, for the knife was now being yanked heartlessly out of Josh as he cried out in agony. Then it was being raised high again on an upward journey that would also come down, hard, and again tear open the flesh of the man Jessie loved from the moment she found him in Charlie’s garbage.

  Suddenly she was lunging forward as she screamed, and she could hear Ulysses cursing loudly somewhere oddly off to her right; later she found out he was frustrated because he couldn’t get there fast enough, because he hesitated after seeing Jacob lying in the dirt with the gun aimed at the crazed scenario in front of him.

  The sharp blast jolted all of them when the gun’s piercing dispatch abruptly reverberated through the bleak hollow. Jacob squeezed the trigger when Deuce’s arm was raised, a second later than he intended to fire, for he – like Ulysses – had paused. Initially Jessie was far enough away for Jacob to have a clear shot at Deuce, and Jacob had enough target practice behind him to be confident in his ability. But suddenly the conspiring Gods awarded him a great opportunity – for what did Jacob want most in the world? He knew Jessie thought it was music, but Jessie was wrong. He wanted her. Jacob wanted to keep her, to feel her fingers on his shoulder blades as she caressed his own cross, to play music with her and to feel the magic they created in his soul and spirit for eternity.

  Jacob’s adversary was not Deuce McCall, in fact in some ways they shared a common need. They could defeat him; he knew he could kill McCall now. But in front of Deuce was Josh Sawyer, and he was the man who stood in the way of Jacob’s future with Jessie. And Jacob had him – squarely, completely – in the gun’s sight.

  The cars were squealing in behind them then, and after the skidding stopped in the dirt there was a sudden distant haze of male yelling and cursing, and then somewhere high and above all the cacophony were Jessie’s agonized screams, jarring Jacob.

  It came to Jacob then, what love really, truly is.

  And so Jacob forced back a sob of his own before letting his hands shift the gun just the slightest bit to the left, and he fired.

  Love is letting go. Love is giving the greatest gift you have to give.

  Jessie got to Josh in time to shoulder the burden of his body as he collapsed onto the ground and then Jacob, whose first shot caught Deuce in the hand, sending the dagger on a flying wraithlike arc across the dirt road, fired again. This time the frame of vision was empty apart from Deuce, and so Jacob finally rid them all of the menace who had targeted and damaged Jessie for so many years, and he found himself thinking Deuce loved her too, and now he is free of that agony, whereas I must carry on.

  But Jacob had something Deuce did not. He had a second all consuming love – music. He heaved himself up to a kneeling position and watched Deuce fall, in some ways envying him as the southern gentleman’s excruciating burden was finally released. Dragging his own body on all fours towards Jessie and Josh, like an exhausted child playing one last game before bedtime, Jacob settled a few feet behind the bizarre tableau and let the surreal night play itself out.

  He could hear the activity around him more clearly now, other vehicles sliding to a stop, doors slamming, and still the incessant screaming, but he was numb. He sat back on his haunches and watched Jessie as she half lay beside Josh and ran badly trembling hands over his body, his face, his hair, his shoulders, his back, his stomach, then back to his face again. As she shoved Josh’s hair away from his blackened cheek, Jacob wondered blankly whether the mark was a bruise or was it dirt residue? He also caught himself thinking from somewhere deep inside, sickeningly, morbidly – maybe she can still be mine. But he let the pistol drop from his fingers at that thought, because all of a sudden he didn’t want the responsibility of it.

  Then Jacob was grabbed roughly from behind and hauled up to a standing position. Photographs were snapped around him, and a guttural voice assaulted his ear, trying to awaken him.

  “Son, I’ll have to ask you to come with me.”

  Of course. He would be detained for questioning, and likely this whole incident would have to be written up and sent to the Crown Attorney for judgment. He, Jacob Ryan, had just shot and killed a man.

  As he backed away and was placed in handcuffs, Jacob ached to go to Jessie. But then Matt was there, grabbing her and pulling her away from Josh, but it was no easy task – both Dan and Ulysses had to step in as well, and hold her. She was writhing and fighting them, but the paramedics had found the desolate road at the bottom of the mountain, finally, and needed access to their patient, for they had to ascertain whether the man lying face down in the dirt was alive or dead.

  The screaming finally made sense. In the eerie haze of his mind Jacob knew it was coming from Jessie, but he wasn’t prepared for how much it hurt him to hear her cries. He closed his eyes and let the policeman do his job as tears finally leaked from the corners of his eyes. He leaned his forehead against the RCMP cruiser and co-operated fully, sobbing, trembling uncontrollably as he was shaken down for more weapons. The last thing he remembered seeing before being escorted into the back seat of the cruiser was the image of Jessie fighting Matt, and then finally succumbing to overwhelming grief in his arms.

  The last thing Jacob remembered hearing were the anguished words of Jessie’s pain.

  “No, please no, not again, please no I love him! I love him! Please God, no!”

  It was a while before the cruiser pulled away, but not once did Jessie look for Jacob. Not once did she miss him, even as Matt silently urged Big Dan to pick her up and carry her towards the Audi.

  Jacob hung his head in shame. The Gods knew what he had been thinking, what he had almost done. And already they were crying payback.

  ***

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  At ten the next morning Jessie prepared to leave the sanctity of her building and steer her way to the hospital. She couldn’t wait any longer. The pull to be near Josh was overwhelming, the wait for news on his condition interminable and unbearable. Charles’ private physician had been over to the condo at midnight the night before and given her a sedative to mercifully help her sleep, despite protests that she wanted to be at the hospital with Josh. But Charles and Dee knew better, and so did Matt and Steve and Charlie and everyone else. Despite the recent break-up, Michelle was called, and the media would be there in hordes. The Keatings didn’t want Jessie anywhere near the place so, with the promise to let her know of any developments, they demanded she stay at home, at least for the night.

  So far, Josh was hanging on. He endured a difficult surgery after laparotomy testing revealed severe trauma to his spleen. Hoping they could save the organ, the doctors considered a partial splenectomy, but the gash in Josh’s spleen was too severe, and so there was no other option - the entire spleen was removed. Now, he would be monitored for infection and shock. The first twenty-four hours would be critical.

  Now, stubb
orn as ever, Jessie stormed past Dee and sank against the back wall of the elevator.

  “I just need some time, okay?” she said, her face a pinched mask.

  Dee stuck her hand in the door to prevent it from closing. Inside, Jessie hunched down further, shoved her hands into her jeans pockets and stared miserably at the carpeted floor.

  “Okay, Jessie. Well, I’m off to La Casa to see Charles before he leaves for the police station to check in on Jacob.”

  Closing her eyes with a moan, Jessie shifted her stoic glance to the side wall. Jacob. She felt sick.

  Dee didn’t elaborate. Maybe that was where Jessie planned to go – to the jail where Jacob was being held for questioning. She had been asked to give a statement at some point today, anyway.

  “Honey, you’re to take Susanne with you. Okay?”

  Dee moved sideways and eyeballed Susanne; the calm bodyguard meandered inside the elevator and took up a position next to Jessie who, surprisingly, didn’t protest. As the door closed, Dee hesitated before collecting her purse and texting Charles to tell him she would be leaving the condo momentarily.

  They took the Mustang. Jessie needed the comfort and familiarity of her beloved car, an object that carried her where she wanted to go without question or complaint. While she drove, Susanne made calls to clear a path for her at the hospital, and a discreet entrance at the back was secured.

  Once inside, Susanne tailed Jessie at a cautious distance. Other members of the Keating security team had enabled only those they knew – Zach, Hilary, Kayla and Paul – to enter the secure wing where Josh was being closely monitored. Michelle had arrived earlier in the morning, and Sue-Lyn and Maggie were on their way. Jonathon and Giselle were present, and Wes Sawyer was supposedly flying in from some distant location - Africa, Jessie thought.

  Stephen of course was there with loyal Sophie at his side. The couple spotted Jessie just after Michelle did and kept a wary eye on the two women as the dimpled brunette, on her way back from the cafeteria with a coffee, angrily stopped in her tracks and stared down Jessie.

  Michelle jumped on the singer before Jessie got anywhere near Josh’s room.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Michelle strode heatedly towards Jessie, the coffee gripped tightly in her hand, eyes red rimmed and puffy. “Who the hell do you think you are, showing up here?”

  Eyes wide, poised for a fight, Jessie stood her ground. “I just want to see him, Michelle.”

  “Why, to make sure he’s not dead yet? After what you did to him? You knew all along it was going to be him, didn’t you, Jessie? That Deuce was targeting him. You have a lot of fucking nerve.” Then, to drive her own knife deeper, “You are at the wrong institution, Jessie. Why are you here and not at the jail?”

  Suitably reproached, Jessie cast her eyes downward and studied her feet.

  Stephen and Sophie eased up a little closer, soundlessly.

  Michelle continued. “You know something, Jessie Wheeler?” She spit out her name spitefully, with distaste. “Without music, you have nothing.”

  Defiantly raising her head to stare down Michelle, Jessie replied, “No Michelle. Without music I would have everything.”

  Music - in so many ways – could be such a curse to her. A yin and a yang. She no longer wanted to hide behind it. Jessie was as out in the open now with her past, at least to the people that mattered to her, as she would ever be.

  Behind Michelle, Steve smiled quietly at Jessie. He knew. He rested his hands on Michelle’s shoulders. “Go,” he said. “Rest.”

  Before she turned sharply on a stiletto heel Michelle had one last thing to say. “Just in case you’re wondering,” she gathered her wits before she was able to continue, “I’m not going back to him. We’re not getting back together. I love him enough to let him go.” Her voice cracked on the last statement.

  Jessie took a moment to gather her senses before she responded. “So did I. Once.”

  Michelle stood there and pondered Jessie. Suddenly, in her own pain, fear and loss, a door opened and she saw beyond the singer’s brick wall. There, in front of her, stood a woman who had given up everything for a man Michelle knew deserved nothing but the best. Despite her lingering sorrow and an everlasting jealousy, Michelle saw something singular - and maybe even extraordinary - about Jessie Wheeler. She also saw common ground.

  Then Michelle was gone, escorted by Sophie back to a stiff chair in the busy waiting room where she could sip her mediocre coffee in peace.

  Steve stood before Jessie and quietly stared down at her. “Some party I missed last night.”

  She nodded, eyes filling with unshed tears. “Yup.”

  “Tell me about it some time?”

  She searched for her voice. “Not today.”

  “Okay.”

  Jessie twiddled her fingers in her pockets. “Can I see him?” she pleaded earnestly.

  Steve looked down the hall towards the waiting room, where the others were hidden from view around the corner. “I don’t think it’s a good time, Jess. Nobody has had time to process how they feel about all of this yet.”

  At that, she bit her bottom lip and he could see she was struggling with this, that according to most of the gathered family and friends she did not belong here on this grey day.

  “Okay,” she whispered, slumping. “Fine.”

  He stepped forward and spoke softly to her. “I can do you a favor though, Jess. If you’ll let me.”

  Hopeful, curious, she looked up, hands still buried in the pockets. She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head at him questioningly. Steve glanced around to make sure nobody was watching and then he pulled something out of his pocket. It was her engagement ring, still on the leather thong.

  “Can I give this to him?”

  It took her a moment to respond. She lifted a hand from her pocket and wiped a finger along her top lip, pondering the ring, her sweater as usual pulled down over trembling fingers. She reached out and touched the exquisite ring, felt the energy it had provided for so long during her self-imposed exile.

  “Is he awake?” she asked tenderly.

  “No. Not yet, kiddo. But he will be.”

  “Okay then,” she said. “Okay.”

  Stephen smiled and stretched both arms around her shoulders. He squeezed tight. “I’m glad it’s over, little girl,” he whispered into her neck. “You did good.”

  “Not so much,” she answered, stifling the threatening tears as she hugged him back.

  “Go see Jacob,” he told her, chiding, as he let her go. “I’ll call when Josh wakes up.” There was no room to consider any other option, that Josh might not wake up.

  She nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Going there now.” Pausing before she left, she asked, “Steve? He is going to be okay though, right?”

  “Sure,” he said. “Of course.” But she could see the fear in his eyes.

  Jessie turned then and, accompanied by her ever-present shadow for the day, Susanne, forced herself to walk away.

  ***

  Thankfully, Susanne was a good driver. She was one of few people Jessie allowed behind the wheel of the red Mustang. On the way out to the parking lot, as they walked side by side behind Dan in a dark basement corridor, Jessie asked her to drive.

  “I can’t seem to focus,” she said, holding a shaking hand in front of her so Susanne could clearly see her plight.

  The security gal recognized Jessie’s anxiety as extreme – no wonder – and she resolved to apprise Matt the first chance she got. Everybody thought Jessie was holding up remarkably well given the circumstances, but Susanne sensed a deep despair.

  Deuce McCall was dead. Susanne wondered if Jessie had even digested that yet, whether she had looked over at his crumpled body lying in the dirt at the base of the mountain, just to confirm it, to make his death final, to believe he was actually gone. The man with an inability to comprehend the suffering of his victims had caused years of angst and agony for Jessie. And now he was no longer. Would she look over he
r shoulder her entire life, out of habit? Would she learn to relax and enjoy her success? Her friends and family?

  Susanne eyed her carefully. In a short time she had grown to quite like the singer and actor. Yes Jessie was troubled and, from the briefing Matt and Dan gave Susanne, it was apparent the girl had overcome many odds to succeed in the entertainment business. Although she was distant and detached, Jessie was obviously kind and loyal. Yet to Susanne it was clear Jessie was riding a bumpy road towards a mental breakdown. All people have breaking points, and this girl had already removed herself once from security, safety, and family in order to preserve her sanity on some level.

  The return of McCall, although expected, was climactic, tragic, and final. Josh was still in critical condition. Add that Jessie was not yet welcome with open arms around his family as they processed the previous night’s tragic events, and what nearly transpired…and still could…well, it was easy to see why Jessie’s hands were trembling. Susanne felt it was actually a miracle the girl was walking at all, given her past histories reacting with tragedy. She would watch the singer closely.

  “I would be happy to drive,” she told Jessie. “How about we get some coffee on the way to the station?” Not that caffeine was the best remedy, but sometimes victims of crime just needed something normalizing to hang onto. Susanne had taken Jessie to Rebel on a Mountain Coffee in the past – she would swing by there and grab the girl one of those lattes or flat whites she liked.

  Since they were currently in the city instead of in North Vancouver, where the RCMP policed, a Vancouver City Police cruiser along with Big Dan followed close behind just to make sure the paparazzi left Jessie alone. Dee and Hilary Sawyer had gotten together with the publicist, Janet, and hammered out a statement early in the morning. It was vague, stating Josh Sawyer, Drifters star and feature film actor, was a victim of a stabbing and was now recovering from surgery in hospital - his condition was listed as stable. The family was asking for privacy until such time as they felt ready to offer more news publicly. Singer / Actor Jessie Wheeler and her boyfriend, singer Jacob Ryan, were cited as present at the stabbing, which occurred on a desolate road in the District of North Vancouver. Both were uninjured but were presently recovering from shock. The aggressor – listed as a businessman from Charleston, South Carolina, his name withheld at the present time – was killed during the altercation.