by Heather Beck
As silence filled the classroom, Anastasia realized that no one else had seen what really happened, or if someone had, they weren’t going to speak up. Defending herself was pointless; she knew that the more she talked, the guiltier she would appear.
“You’re no longer allowed to participate in the lab experiments, which means you’ll lose marks,” Ms. Stevenson informed Anastasia. “Now excuse me while I call the janitor. He has a mess to clean up.”
As if timed perfectly, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. Anastasia mustered all her confidence as she walked out of the classroom with her head held high. However, inside she felt like crying. She was undeniably angry at the false accusation, but it was more than just that. Anastasia wanted Cedar Falls to be her fresh start; instead, it was starting to feel exactly like Toronto.
The cafeteria was bustling with upbeat, noisy students who were enjoying their sixty minutes of mid-day freedom. It was exactly the type of environment Anastasia wanted to avoid. Everyone seemed so happy and carefree, and that alienated her since she wasn’t in the same state of mind. Unfortunately, she’d made plans to meet Chloe in the cafeteria, and she knew that ditching her to eat alone in some hallway corner wouldn’t help in her attempt to be perceived as normal.
In search of Chloe, Anastasia scanned the crowd. She finally found her sitting at a prime location table which had a great view of the trees outside and just the right amount of sunlight streaming onto it. However, her heart sank when she saw who she was sitting with – it was the queen bee she’d seen outside the school earlier that day. There was another girl with them, and she too looked perfectly primped and rich. Believing that befriending the popular crowd would only draw unwanted attention and segregate her from the majority of students, Anastasia prepared to leave. Whenever she saw Chloe next, she’d have to make up some excuse about getting lost and being unable to find the cafeteria. After all, she didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“Anastasia!” Chloe called, waving to her.
Cringing, Anastasia waved back and slowly made her way toward the table. She could feel people watching her as she went, probably wondering what she’d done to deserve such an honor. Quickly, Chloe pulled out a chair and smiled widely, obviously delighted to see Anastasia. She just couldn’t help but ponder why; surely she realized that Anastasia didn’t belong there.
“Ladies, this is Anastasia Lockhart,” Chloe introduced her. “She’s a childhood friend of mine.”
“Hey,” Anastasia greeted, trying to sound as friendly as possible.
The two girls smiled at Anastasia. One of them looked sincerely interested in meeting her, but there was something about that queen bee which seemed rather cold; not that Anastasia was surprised.
“This is Marissa Brookes,” Chloe said, gesturing toward a girl with chin-length strawberry-blonde hair, light freckles, sparkling blue eyes, and a tiny, perfect nose. Marissa definitely had a unique look, but she was charmingly beautiful.
“And this is Kate McKinley,” Chloe continued, smiling at the queen bee. Kate looked even more beautiful up-close. From her skin to her posture, everything about her appearance seemed flawless. However, behind those pretty hazel eyes was a challenging stare.
“Welcome to Cedar Falls,” Kate said in a dignified tone, as if it was her right to decide who enters the town.
“Anastasia is from Toronto, but she’ll be staying here for a while,” Chloe informed them.
“I love Toronto!” Marissa exclaimed. “My family and I go shopping there every spring. I’m addicted to their clothing boutiques. They definitely have a better selection than Cedar Falls.”
Not completely sure how to respond, Anastasia merely smiled at Marissa. She knew little to nothing about Toronto’s fashion scene, but she didn’t want to say so.
“Fashion’s my thing,” Marissa continued with a sweet smile, almost as if she could sense Anastasia’s slight unease. “I immediately noticed your outfit. It’s so chic and modern.”
Kate snorted and then said bitchily, “In a gothic sort of way, I suppose.”
Anastasia looked down at her clothes. She wore a black knitted cowl neck sweater, dark blue skinny jeans, black boots, and some jewelry that consisted of an antique-looking key pendant necklace and a chunky charm bracelet. Her outfit didn’t differ that much from what the other students were wearing.
“Is black nail polish fashionable in Toronto?” Kate asked with wide, not-so-innocent eyes. “I’d love to know. It’s important for me to keep abreast of developing trends.”
Kate’s tone was filled with sarcasm, but she smiled as she talked, making it seem like she was being sincere. However, Anastasia knew better, and she wasn’t about to let Kate get away with talking to her in that manner.
“Yes, everyone’s wearing it,” Anastasia lied, while proudly showing off her nails.
“Black can be classic or daring,” Marissa informed them. “One can never go wrong with it.”
Anastasia couldn’t have cared less about the color of her nail polish. What she did care about, though, was that she’d stopped Kate from visually dissecting her. By the sneer on Kate’s face, Anastasia knew that she was expected to bow down to her. Well, that certainly wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.
“How are your classes so far?” Chloe asked Anastasia, most likely noticing the growing tension.
“Horrible,” Anastasia replied honestly as she unwrapped her club sandwich and began to eat. “Do you guys know some hormonally-charged couple named Jack and Jill? They were practically rolling on the science floor – it was disgusting! They’re also such liars. You wouldn’t believe what they said about me.”
Kate cleared her throat loudly. “As a matter of fact, I do know Jack. He’s my cousin.”
“Oh,” Anastasia muttered, casting a glance at Chloe and Marissa, who looked sufficiently awkward.
“He’s also a preacher’s son,” Kate snapped. “So, I highly doubt he’s capable of lying.”
There was so much irony in Jack being the son of a preacher that Anastasia hardly knew where to begin her mockery. She quickly bit her tongue, though, and decided to keep her less-than-stellar opinions about organized religion to herself. Cedar Falls was a very religious town, and the church had a large following which included her grandparents.
“So, your last name is Lockhart,” Kate began, as if preparing for another attack. “Is that right, Anastasia?” She continued quickly, not waiting for a response. “That must make you Kendall’s daughter.”
Blood rushed to Anastasia’s cheeks. The thought that some of her mother’s former friends would recognize her and ask a lot of prying questions had crossed her mind. After all, the physical similarities between the two of them were very pronounced. However, she’d never expected anyone who was her own age to start inquiring about her mother.
“You know my mother?” Anastasia asked, pretending like it was no big deal.
“Her reputation precedes her,” Kate answered smugly. “This town never forgets.”
“Then what a petty town this is,” Anastasia said through clenched teeth and in a tone that was barely audible.
Of course, Kate heard her and was more than happy to respond in a sweetly insincere manner. “Don’t fret about it. Cedar Falls has many other conversation starters – for example, Frost. Now there’s a real freak story.”
Marissa, who had looked confused for the last minute or so, suddenly seemed alert. Chloe, on the other hand, still appeared uncomfortable. Although they’d never talked about her mother when they were young, Anastasia knew that Chloe would’ve heard the scandalous details from her parents.
“What’s Frost?” Anastasia asked, desperate to have the negative attention taken away from her.
“Not what – who,” Chloe replied.
“Frost is so cute,” Marissa gushed. “He’s got this totally sexy bad boy thing going on,” she added to Anastasia.
“Be quiet,” Kate hissed. “Never let anyone hear you say that. It’ll perman
ently destroy your reputation.”
“Sorry,” Marissa muttered as she concentrated on eating her lunch in an obvious attempt to conceal her embarrassment.
Kate shook her head in disapproval as she spoke to apparently anyone who would listen. “Frost is such a loner. He acts different from the rest of us, like he doesn’t even want to fit in. It’s so strange, but I guess I shouldn’t complain. After all, a guy like that has no right to be a part of this town. It’s best for everyone if he just stays away.”
Anastasia was taken aback by Kate’s harsh bigotry, especially as she continued to insult Frost in an almost rant-like state. Although she had a lot of nasty things to say about him, she never actually explained why she disliked him so much. Anastasia thought this was very odd, and she assumed that there was more to the story than Kate was willing to reveal. Regardless of what was going on, she wished that Kate would shut up. After all, she’d just learned the hard way that it was never a good idea to talk poorly about someone, even if they did deserve it.
When lunch finally came to an end, Anastasia couldn’t get out of the cafeteria fast enough. Although Chloe had insisted that Anastasia join them again tomorrow, there was no way she was going to suffer through another lunch like today. Somehow, she’d just have to make her own friends.
As Anastasia walked through the school’s Humanities wing in search of her English class, she noticed that the hallways were a lot busier. Even more prominent was the impoliteness of many of the students. One girl had allowed a door to slam shut in her face, while another had bumped into her and not apologized. Being treated this way by strangers gave Anastasia a new vantage point in regards to her own recent behavior. In Toronto, she used to hurry through her days, not truly caring about other people. Instead, she spent her time dwelling on her seemingly meaningless and hopeless existence. It was a selfish and ugly way of life, and she didn’t want to be that kind of person anymore. Starting today, she decided to take small steps in the right direction. She held doors open for other students, and she didn’t yell at the girl who’d bumped into her.
Anastasia’s good behavior seemed to reap immediate rewards as she suddenly saw Gorgeous walking straight toward her, almost like he’d appeared out of nowhere. As he drew closer, her heart beat faster, and it felt like her body was starting to melt. His smile was perfect, his intense eyes were locked on hers, and she couldn’t help but fantasize about the chiseled body that was likely underneath his jeans and dark blue sweater. Everything about him, from the slight stubble upon his face, to his self-assured yet humble demeanor, made him appear more mature than the other boys at Cedar Falls.
He was now only a few feet away from Anastasia, but his smile had faded and it looked like he’d lost his confidence. He cast a somewhat timid glance at her and then disappeared into a classroom. Anastasia was disappointed that he hadn’t spoken to her, and she was even more upset to learn that her classroom was right next door to his. Couldn’t karma have helped her just a bit more and put them in the same class? At this rate, she’d never get to know him. Not that it would make a difference, though. He was probably one of the most popular boys at Cedar Falls, and that meant he’d be interested in someone like Kate – not her.
Sighing, Anastasia hurried into her English class. By this point, she wasn’t surprised to find yet another disappointment awaiting her. In the middle of the class sat Jill, and it was clear from her expression that she wasn’t ready to play nice. Quickly, Anastasia found a seat at the front of the class.
“Good afternoon,” the teacher greeted as he entered the classroom and began unpacking today’s material onto his desk. He was probably in his mid-thirties, and with light brown hair, green eyes, a good physique, and a sexy Irish accent, he was very eye-catching. “Welcome,” he said, turning his gaze to Anastasia. “According to my records you’re Anastasia Lockhart.”
“Yes,” she said quietly, wishing that he hadn’t said her last name out loud. If Kate knew about her mother, then maybe other students did, too.
“I’m Mr. O’Donoghue,” he said, offering his hand to her. “I’m sorry to say you’ve picked quite a time to join us. We’re half-way through Milton’s Paradise Lost, and we have a test scheduled for next Monday. I’m sure I’ll find a way to get you caught up, though.”
“That’s okay,” Anastasia said, after releasing his hand. “I read Paradise Lost when I was twelve, but I still remember it well.”
Mr. O’Donoghue was impressed, but a few students laughed. Anastasia’s face reddened slightly. It probably wasn’t the best idea to add that it was one of her favorite classic novels.
“You’ve humbled me,” Mr. O’Donoghue admitted. “I didn’t study any of Milton’s work until university.”
Mr. O’Donoghue stepped away from Anastasia’s desk and began presenting his prepared material. He was a talented, lively lecturer, and it was apparent that he was passionate about his job. After just forty-five minutes in his presence, it was clear to her that his greatest skill was making literature accessible, especially for such a challenging book.
“So, that brings me to the question of how do we read these characters,” Mr. O’Donoghue said, bringing his lecture to an end. “Let’s start with the character of Satan. How does Milton represent him and why is it significant?”
“Satan is the representation of evil,” Jill answered without raising her hand. “There’s no good in him, so he must be destroyed.”
“That’s a good start,” Mr. O’Donoghue said generously, “but is there any other way Milton portrays him, and why does he do so?”
The class fell silent, and no one raised their hand.
“Anastasia, you look pensive,” Mr. O’Donoghue noted. “Mind sharing your thoughts?”
“I think Satan is the most complex character in Paradise Lost,” Anastasia began. “He’s portrayed almost human-like because of his jealousy, anger and drive. That’s what makes him the most relatable character in the whole book. Also, he’s the first one to be introduced to the readers, and he has a goal that he’s determined to achieve. According to most epics written during Milton’s time, wouldn’t that make Satan the protagonist?”
“Excellent observations,” Mr. O’Donoghue complimented. “Can anyone respond to the question Anastasia has raised?” When no one spoke up, he faced her once again. “Care to answer your own question?”
“He’s both the protagonist and antagonist because he started as an angel but then succumbed to his jealously for God’s Son. He had a choice, but he made the wrong one. Milton wrote a cautionary tale. Since we possess traits similar to Satan’s, we too can fall from grace.”
“That’s a very insightful interpretation,” Mr. O’Donoghue praised Anastasia, before addressing the whole class. “If everyone wrote with that level of analysis, you’d all be getting A’s.”
The bell rang, and for the first time that day, Anastasia didn’t want the class to be over. Reluctantly, she placed her notebook and pen into her backpack. That’s when she experienced a creepy feeling, as if someone was breathing down her neck.
“Satanic bitch,” a female voice whispered in Anastasia’s ear.
Tears instantly stung Anastasia’s eyes. She didn’t need to turn around to find out who had spoken. The voice unmistakably belonged to Jill.
“Anastasia, can I see you for a moment?” Mr. O’Donoghue asked.
After her nasty comment, Jill had been one of the last students to leave the classroom. Anastasia and Mr. O’Donoghue were now alone, and as she walked toward his desk, she had to force back her tears. She was neither Satanic nor a bitch, but being called such things hurt very deeply.
“I’m confused,” Mr. O’Donoghue began in a serious tone. “I have your mid-term English grade from the last school you attended. Either you’re failing or one of their administrative assistants is prone to typos.”
“I know I’m failing,” Anastasia said quietly.
“From what I saw today, you have the potential to be an outstanding
student,” Mr. O’Donoghue said, instead of prying any further into her previous academic mishaps. “I run a literacy group that meets three times a week during lunch. Basically, we get together to discuss books, but we also offer tutoring services and often organize literary events in the community. I think this would be a great opportunity for you, especially since you’ll be getting extra credit.”
“Sign me up,” Anastasia hurried to say. Joining the literacy group was a no-brainer; it would allow her to pass the class, while giving her a legit excuse as to why she could no longer have lunch with Kate. Anastasia smiled at Mr. O’Donoghue. He had no idea how much he was really helping her.
The school day had come to an end, and Anastasia was now walking down a deserted snow-covered road. The bright sun still shone in the spotless blue sky, and as she looked at the cedars which lined the road, she noticed how the snow fell like confetti every time a slight breeze stirred the branches. It was a beautiful mid-afternoon, but Anastasia was beginning to feel uneasy. She’d been walking for too long, and her surroundings were no longer familiar. Somewhere along the way, she must have made a wrong turn, causing her to become lost.
Anastasia was embarrassed to admit that she needed help, especially since she’d been so adamant about walking home. Nonetheless, she retrieved her cell phone, knowing that she’d have to call her grandfather. She tried dialing, but the call failed immediately – she wasn’t getting any reception out here. Realizing that she could be in serious trouble, panic seized her.
“I’m going to get through this,” Anastasia whispered to herself. Those were the words she’d often used for comfort whenever she felt sad or scared. Right now, though, she knew that she had to think rationally. Although a car hadn’t passed for the last twenty-five minutes or so, there was a set of tire marks on the road. She could follow those tracks, hoping that they’d lead to some type of help, but turning around and re-tracing her steps seemed like a better option.
Anastasia hurried in the direction she’d come, praying that she would be able to find her way back. If she didn’t arrive home soon, her grandparents would start to worry. They had always been overprotective, insisting to know where she was at all times. Her grandparents were the exact opposite of her mother; she never seemed to care where Anastasia was or who she was with.