“There you go.”
“Sorry,” he said, angry at himself.
“Why? You make mistakes, you learn. You have to expect that, seriously. So don’t apologize to me, as long as you’ve done your best and tried your hardest.” She tried to lighten the mood, and he tried to let his anger go. “And I will know if you are trying your best. I do not go easy on slackers.”
She folded her arms, and he lay looking up at her. Hot damn, she was beautiful, her breasts full, her face round, with those sparkling eyes set into it like the most precious jewels.
“I will always give you a hundred percent.”
“That’s all I ask. Now, do you want me to help you? I don’t bite.”
He sighed. She was right, he was tired; months of inaction had made his muscles weaker than he was used to. He couldn’t wait for the gym equipment to get here. At the hospital, he hadn’t bothered, after the first few tries. Couldn’t see the point, but now he did. His upper body strength had to be maintained or he would become permanently dependent on other people.
“Yes, please.”
She looked stunned, but covered her reaction quickly. “Let’s start with your shirt.”
Her hands tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, her knuckles grazing his skin, causing him to inhale sharply as a shock of recognition coursed through him. He was sure her breathing altered too, as if she knew what he was thinking, of how he wanted her to take her clothes off and lie next to him, skin against skin.
Lifting his arms up, she tugged his T-shirt over his head and stood, looking down at him. Then she reached out and ran her fingertips over his chest. His nipples hardened as arousal flooded his body. She let her fingers trail lower, stroking his stomach, and then lower still. He closed his eyes, fighting the need to reach out and pull her to him. Would he be able to satisfy her with his hands and his mouth? If he pulled her down on the bed next to him, would he be able to finish what she was starting?
“Can you feel my fingers?” she asked, her hands stroking his thighs.
He opened his eyes. “No. Nothing.” The mood broke, and so did his heart. “I can manage the rest.”
“Jordan, I’m sorry. I…”
“Good night, Skyla.” She walked away from him, looking confused. “And thank you. For today. For every minute of it.”
“Tomorrow we hunt for that bear of yours,” she said, and before he could tell her no, she had closed the door, leaving his words unsaid.
Chapter Nine – Skyla
“Ruin your career, why don’t you?” she said to herself as she undressed, pulling on her least sexy nightshirt. What had she been thinking?
That she would elicit some reaction from him, that she had a magic touch where he was concerned that would spark his legs back into life.
“You stupid idiot!” Climbing into bed, she lay still, trying to figure out if she would be better to tell Jordan he should find someone else to be his caregiver. It might make things easier if she handed in her notice, rather than making him ask her to leave. Her behavior had been wholly inappropriate, and she would tell him first thing in the morning.
Stupid. She had teased him and called him a child, yet her behavior was so immature, it was unbelievable.
Tears pricked her eyes. She’d wanted to come here to Bear Bluff so much; when she had been asked to come live here, it had felt like fate. But that fate was not exactly how she had imagined it. If Jordan reported her, there was a chance she would be looking for another career change. She wouldn’t be able to work with vulnerable people again.
These thoughts whirled around in her head. Sleep fought her, remaining always out of her reach, as the hours drifted on. The sounds of the mountain drifted in to the room, sounds of an owl hunting, of a horse calling in the distance and she was sure she heard the sounds of a bear roaring, but that might have been her imagination as she dozed on and off, never actually sleeping.
There in amongst it all was the sound of a man crying out. He was hurt, terror filling his voice, before it changed, replaced by the voice of a man who had lost something.
Wide-awake, she sat up. “Jordan.”
Slipping out of bed, she dragged on her robe and ran downstairs, the voice louder, more urgent. Into his room she burst, to find him tossing and turning the bed covers off his legs. Which were moving.
In shock, she stood and stared. Skyla had to be sure it wasn’t some kind of trick in the dim light. No, they were moving, and not just twitching, but as Jordan thrashed around in the bed, as if fighting off some terrible beast, his legs were kicking.
His cries pulled her out of her thoughts, out of her circling questions as she tried to reason out what was going on with Jordan. She would have preferred to stand and watch him, to try to fathom out why he could move in his sleep, but not when he was awake and conscious. But she couldn’t leave him to suffer in his internal anguish.
Her one question to herself as she gently grabbed Jordan’s shoulders and shook him awake, was should she tell him? What would this mean to his mental state if she told him with certainty that there was no physical reason his legs didn’t work, that it was all in his head?
As Jordan opened his eyes, and stared widely around him as if looking for something, she decided that this was one part of his recovery that was going to take some careful consideration, and at least for now, she would keep it to herself.
“Jordan. Jordan, look at me.” His eyes rested on hers, the wild look in his eyes slowly slipping away, to leave him confused. “Are you OK? You had a bad dream.”
His breathing was ragged and it took him a few deep breaths before he could talk. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
Not the answer she expected. “It’s OK, that’s what I’m here for. Do you want to talk about it?”
He shivered, the sweat on his body cooling now that he had stopped moving around. Instinctively, she pulled the covers up around him, shifting her weight before sitting back down next to him.
“I can’t remember it all.”
“Do you want to tell me what you can remember?” she asked, the chill air making her teeth chatter, or maybe it was the lack of sleep and then the shock of having to get up so quickly.
“The fire. It’s always the fire.” He brushed his hand through his hair. “In the hospital they gave me sleeping pills, so I wouldn’t dream. Now I know why.”
“You’ve had this dream before?” she asked.
“Yes.” He placed his hand on hers. “You’re cold.” He lifted the blankets, and she slipped inside, knowing it was the wrong thing to do, but doing it all the same.
“Did the pills stop the dream?” she asked, sliding closer to him, her body needing his warmth.
“They didn’t stop it.” His hand rested on her shoulder, stroking it as if this was the most natural thing in the world. “I had forgotten the dreams, the pills must have dimmed them enough for me to forget each morning. But they were still there.”
“The crash?”
“Yes.”
“And your bear.”
His hand stopped moving, his fingers resting lightly on her skin. “Why do you ask about my bear?”
“Because you were calling as if you had lost something.”
“He is lost.”
She sat up, and looked down at him. “I have an idea of how we might find him.”
“He’s dead. I told you.”
“You said you didn’t know that for sure,” she said.
“No. Not for sure,” he admitted sourly, “but the longer I’m without him, the more plausible that seems.”
“Then let me help you. Please. Trust me and we’ll see if we can find him. Together.”
He lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. “You know I’d do anything you asked of me.”
Her throat constricted and she didn’t know what she was supposed to say. “Then let me help you,” she said feeling lame.
“OK,” he agreed, his hand dropping back to rest on the bed. “I need to know once and for all if he’s g
one. If you have an idea, I’ll go along with it.”
“Good, then you should get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a busy day.” She moved to slip out of the bed, her aim to go back to her own cold bed.
“Stay.” He gripped her hand, not harshly, but with an urgency that set her body on fire. This was dangerous; she was already too close, and they hadn’t known each other for a whole day yet. Donnie’s face flashed in front of hers, the words he’d said about the bond, the need to be near your mate, to be with them, close to them. She knew Jordan was her mate, that they were supposed to be one.
It might not have been the same shock of instant attraction, she understood that. Yet it was still there, in the way he looked at her, in the way he touched her, in the shock of recognition as skin touched skin. Maybe it was the accident, maybe the loss of his bear, or maybe he was trying to protect her, from what? A life with a man who loved her.
From a life with a man who loved her so much he didn’t want to inflict his broken body on her. Of course!
As she lay down beside him, her head resting on his pillow, she placed her hand on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart, and willed him to know she didn’t care about anything. If they were meant to be together, if the bond between them was true, all that mattered was the two of them, and the life they built together. For better or for worse.
Chapter Ten – Jordan
“This is your big idea?” he asked.
“Yep,” Skyla answered.
She had gone off early in the morning, he thought she had gone for more supplies; instead, after a hurried phone conversation he didn’t hear, she had shot off out the door, with a call of be back soon.
She kept her word: she was back, too soon to have been into town.
He had heard the sound of the engine coming up the drive, had known it wasn’t the car, and experienced a brief rush of panic that he was here, helpless on his own, followed by a what if something had happened to Skyla, the woman who had held him through the night, and who had chased the bad dreams away.
“And what exactly do you have in mind?” he asked, looking at the ATV, with its four big wheels. This quad was the kind of vehicle he would have found exhilarating to ride—if he still had full use of his legs
“We ride it.”
“In case you missed the memo, my legs still don’t work.” He tilted his head to one side, not knowing whether he should be angry, or call Ben to tell him his caregiver was insane.
“The controls are worked by your hands.”
He sighed. “We have a car. We don’t need this.” He looked at her closely. “Where is the car?”
“Over at Dylan’s yard, we can pick it up when we return.”
“Return from where?” he asked.
“The mountain.”
“OK, that’s it, I thought I was the one with brain damage.”
“You don’t have brain damage and neither do I. It’s simple. You go in front; I slip in behind you and make sure you don’t fall off.” That wasn’t such a terrible idea, but he wanted to hear the rest of her plan before he agreed to it. “You know the mountain, so you take us where the bike can go.”
He looked at her and then back to the bike. “You really are serious, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Absolutely.” She walked past him and into the house. “I think I can just about scrape enough food together to call it a picnic.
Jordan stayed outside looking at the ATV, and then turned his attention to the mountain, trying to figure out a route they could take. The more he thought, the more his memories filled with his life here in Bear Bluff returned to him. His memories of the accident began to shift and blur, no longer being the point when his life began.
He grinned. He must be the luckiest man alive to have a mate who was so clever. He’d have to be careful; she was sharp enough to outsmart him without even trying.
***
“I have ridden one of these before,” Jordan said after Skyla explained to him one more time how everything worked.
“Just trying to keep you safe,” she said, her body rubbing against his as she sat behind him and tried to get comfortable. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist, not because she was scared, but because there was no way she was going to let him fall off.
“Are we ready?” he asked, eager to get going. He had plotted the route he wanted to take, it was all in his head; he could picture the dips and valleys in the lower slopes, and had recalled the paths that were wide enough and not too steep for the ATV. “This is going to be fun.”
She gripped him tighter, her body pressing against his. “I hope so. I’m beginning to think this was not one of my better ideas.”
“It was, believe me,” he said, throttling forward, sending them shooting up the drive. Skyla let out a yelp, and he smiled, the rush of adrenaline coursing through him. “Hold tight.”
She said something he couldn’t hear, but he suspected she was cursing him. His grin widened. As if he would do anything to put her in danger! She was the most precious thing in his world, more precious than his own life. He loved that she cared about him, and cared that he should be reunited with his bear. Considering she wasn’t a shifter, he was so very grateful she still understood what that part of him meant to Jordan.
Turning left, he headed along the road, before veering off to the right, and guiding the quad up a rocky track, which narrowed and became more rugged. Expertly handling the bike, he took them up the first steep incline, and then zig-zagged his way up the next. Skyla leaned forward, using her legs to keep them both balanced.
Then they broke out onto the open meadow, and with a yell, he throttled forward, making the bike race across the ground. The wind whipped his hair, the cool air making his eyes stream as if he were crying tears of joy. On and on they went, until he saw the path they needed to take. He had overshot it and turned them around one hundred and eighty degrees in a spin before shooting off, dodging trees and undergrowth.
This path was steeper and he slowed, taking it carefully, gaining the momentum they needed for a turn before slowing to a crawl, the tires spilling rocks over the edge to drop away into the emptiness. This was more dangerous than he had remembered; it was one thing to climb this on four paws, another to climb it on four wheels.
Then they crested the ridge and he eased the throttle forward, going at a slower pace so Skyla had a chance to admire the view from the top of the Bluff. There he stopped, and was immediately hit by a tirade from his beautiful caregiver.
“What the hell do you think that was?” she asked. “You could have killed us.”
“I was in control,” he said, half turning, but he was stuck in position between the bike and Skyla’s strong thighs.
“One slip and we would have fallen over the edge.”
“It was steeper than I thought. I’m sorry, I know a different way back down.”
“Please don’t be reckless.”
“I won’t. I promise.” He chuckled. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it, having to hang on to me to keep yourself safe?”
“Is that what you think?” she asked, but her hands stayed tight around his waist. “And there was me thinking I was the one who was keeping you safe.”
“If I had my legs, you would always feel safe with me.”
“I do feel safe. It’s just that heights aren’t exactly my thing.”
“I thought you came to Bear Bluff for the mountain?”
“And the bears.” He felt her turn her head and look out at the view. “But this makes it worth the fear. It’s like we’re on top of the world.”
“We are on top of the world. Our world. This is where bears rule.”
She tapped his stomach. “Then let’s go find that bear of yours.”
“I don’t know where, it’s not as if he’s going to be hiding in a cave or anything.”
“I figured he was hibernating, that’s what bears do, right?”
“Real bears. I’m not a real bear.” He thought f
or a moment; saying he wasn’t a real bear was like saying he wasn’t a real person. “Not in the sense you mean, anyway.”
“Let’s go see if we can find him anyway. I want you to take me to a place where you feel the most connected to him. Is there anywhere you used to come up here that was your favorite place?”
He thought for a moment. The whole mountain was alive with memories of his bear, of running free, but there was one place that was his favorite place of all. All the kids from town used to come up here and play when they were younger, skinny dipping in the pond. But sometimes he would come up here as his bear and swim. Diving deep into the water like a polar bear to catch the big plump fish that swam deep under the water. It was his party trick, one he used to impress the female bears.
Going slowly, he picked his way through the large boulders strewn across this part of the mountain. They used to imagine rock giants had thrown them down from the higher slopes in a fit of rage.
Life was so much simpler then. He wished he could turn back the clock. No, no, he didn’t. He would not wish Skyla out of his life, but he wished he could bring his bear back into it.
Chapter Eleven – Skyla
He took her to a lake, it looked freezing, but this was where he said he felt most connected to his bear, so she would have to work with that.
Flexing her legs to get them working again—they had been clamped so tightly around Jordan, they had frozen in place, she shifted around before lifting her leg behind her and slipping off the ATV to stand beside him.
“This is beautiful,” she said, stamping her feet to rid herself of pins and needles, while still holding on to Jordan in case he fell sideways.
“I love this time of year. The trees are all turned, the colors so vibrant, a sign that the snows will soon be upon us, and I cannot tell you how cool the mountain is when it’s covered in snow.” His cheeks were flushed from the cold air, and he looked so natural sitting astride the ATV, as if he would get off and stand beside her, then take her in his arms and kiss her. “But the spring is my favorite time of year, so fresh and new.”
Black Bear Down: BBW Bear Shifter Paranormal Romance (Return To Bear Bluff Book 3) Page 5