Bailey
A soft noise pulls me from the show I’m watching. I turn my gaze to the side of the room and see Reed standing by the doorframe. His lean sculpted body is resting against the wood. One foot is propped behind him and his arms are crossed against his chest. A smoldering gaze locks with mine. My lip tightened offering him a timid smile.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. I’m not sure why I ask since I did tell Leah I wanted to see him and say goodbye. “I mean… I mean…” God, why am I so nervous? “What are you doing here so soon? I wasn’t expecting you for a few hours.”
His gaze continues to unnerve me, my heart pounding in my chest, waiting for him to speak.
“As soon as I could get away from what I was doing, I came. Hope that’s okay?” His eyes bore into mine. It unnerves me.
“Yeah, of course.” I bite down on my lower lip. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course, Bailey. I told you, if you needed me, I’d be here.”
“I know. I just—”
He raises his hand to stop me from speaking. “You didn’t think after what went down I would still come? Of course I would, Bailey. I love you.”
His admission knocks the wind out of my lungs. Breathing becomes more difficult as I try to think of a response.
“I know things happened. I know you don’t know what to believe. I get it. I know it’s no secret I slept around, and even that I used to fool around with Monica. I wasn’t looking for anything before I met you, and I haven’t been with anyone since we’ve been together. What you saw was Monica throwing herself on me. I know your sister told you this, but I wanted you to hear it from me. I love you, Bailey, and I would never do that to you.”
“I know. I know that now.” A tear falls down my cheek. “Reed, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for not trusting you, for finding Jace. God, I’m so sorry for hurting you and making you relive…” Dampness continues to slide down my cheek and I swipe away at it, drying my face.
“Lexi.” He finishes my sentence for me then looks away. A fine line forms between his brows as he gathers his thoughts. His left hand starts to run through his hair, then he pulls his hand away and covers his eyes.
“Yes, Bailey and that’s why as much as I love you, I can’t do this anymore. I wanted to save you, but I will always fail if you can’t save yourself.”
My eyes blink rapidly as I think of what he just said. Sadness courses through my veins, killing any joy I had moments ago. What does this mean? Have I lost him forever? Will he ever want to try again? But no matter what I feel and how miserable these unknowns make me, I know he is right. Everything he says is right.
I inhale deeply and after a series of breaths, I finally gather the strength to speak.
“I understand that now. I know I need to get better.” I look up and find his steely blues looking intently at me. “I’ll get better for you.”
“No, Bailey. Get better for you. If you do this for me, you’re only setting yourself up for failure. Setting yourself up to relapse again. Only for you, okay?”
“Okay, Reed. You’re right. I’ll get healthy for me. But then what? If-when I get better?”
“I don’t know, Bae. I really don’t know.”
The uncertainty in his voice is my undoing and I burst into sobs. He crosses the room quickly and takes me in his arms.
“Shh. It’s going to be okay. You are going to be okay.”
I want to plead with him not to let me go. To stay with me. That I love him, but I hold it all in. Reed has already done so much for me. I can’t burden him with anymore. I have to leave and heal myself, and this is the moment when I’ll start. This is the moment I will change my life.
His hand reaches under my eyes and collects the wetness gathering with his fingertips. My gaze focuses on the ceiling, willing the tears to stop falling. When I know no more will fall, I cast my eyes back to his. His gaze is hollow and raw. This is not the same man I met that first day at the club. I need to be strong for him…
No.
I need to be strong for me.
After a few minutes of Reed holding me, I feel him place a gentle kiss on the top of my head and pull away.
“I have to go, Bae. You can do this. I know you’re strong enough.”
“Bye, Reed,” I whisper. My mouth is dry from the emotions chocking me.
“Goodbye, Bailey.”
I watch as he gets up.
I watch as he walks toward the door and walks out of my life.
Reed
Broken.
I feel completely, utterly fucking broken. Saying goodbye, whether it be for the short term or the long haul, was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time.
As much as I’d like to say I was being selfless, that’s a fucking lie. I was being the most selfish bastard I’ve ever known.
I can’t do it. I can’t be around while she tries to get better. I can’t save her and I feel helpless, which means I can’t do it anymore.
I get into the car and pound my fists into the steering wheel. A growl breaks through my throat as I release frustration like I’ve never felt before. Agony that I didn’t know could exist.
I love her. I am 100% in love with that girl, and to not be able to have her is excruciating.
I pull myself together and drive to L.E.X. I have business to attend to. My life has to move forward, and the steps I’ve put into place are just the beginning.
As I walk through the door of the club, the realization that this will likely be one of the last times I do so hits me hard. It’s not that I will miss the nightclub. It’s the fact that everything changes.
I see my staff sitting around, and can only imagine the speculation circulating through the place. They were told that an emergency mandatory meeting was being held, and that if they didn’t make it, not to come back. It’s no secret about what went down with Bailey and Jace. Everyone knows. I’ve heard some of the rumors and I know everyone is scared.
“Relax,” I say with a smile. I’m hoping this helps to ease everyone’s worries. When I see a few shoulders sag in relief, I know it worked.
“I can see you all know something is brewing. Let me just tell you it’s not bad. In fact, I believe the coming changes will make L.E.X. better. I also know these changes will benefit all of you.” The silence is so thick, it’s palpable, but I continue.
“As of midnight tonight, L.E.X. will be under the ownership of a real estate developer by the name of Tanner Marshall.”
There is a collective gasp and the room fills with murmurings and panic. I raise my hands to hush the crowd.
“You guys, give me a minute to finish.”
The room slowly quiets and all eyes turn to me, beckoning me to continue.
“Tanner is a private investor and he has been seeking out space to start his own nightclub. Guys, he’s savvy and has unlimited funds. The money he’s looking to invest is leaps and bounds what I possess. If we were to go toe to toe with his club, we’d go under or, at the very least, feel a significant cut in business. By making a deal with him and selling this club, I saved all of your jobs and prevented competition.”
Hands fly into the air. Everyone has questions, which I anticipated, but this level is beyond my scope. This is a club. These jobs should be stepping stones. Looking out into the faces of my employees, I see that this is so much more to them.
I point to one girl. “Yes, Amanda?”
“When you say you saved us our jobs, do you mean that we won’t be let go?”
“Yes, that’s what I said. Tanner and I negotiated the terms that every single one of you will keep your current jobs at the current pay rate. As long as you do your job well, you won’t be going anywhere. Fuck up and you’ll be out. It’s as simple as that. Tanner Marshall isn’t where he is today by being a pushover, but he’s fair.”
Hands begin to lower as the elephant in the room has already been addressed. I answer a few more questions mainly involving working conditions etc. Until Damon�
�s hand goes up.
“What will you do, Reed?”
I contemplate his question. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”
Looking out at the club I’ve built from the ground up, the sentimentality hits me. This is it. It all ends tonight. The more I think about that reality, the lighter my chest becomes. It’s strange. It’s as if I can feel the weight of each and every brick slowly release me from the spot they’ve had me pinned to. This place wasn’t what I really ever wanted. It was a prison sentence I imposed upon myself. It was the constant reminder of what I allowed to happen to Lexi. But after everything with Bailey, I now realize that it wasn’t my fault. I can’t be held responsible for the decisions they made. With that realization, I feel free.
I smile a genuine smile, which elicits a confused look from Damon. “Whatever I do, you can bet your ass it’s going to be huge.”
I stick around to receive well wishes and answer any lingering questions before heading to my office to finish clearing it out.
This place holds such a battery of mixed emotions for me, but one thing’s for sure, at the end of the day I won’t miss it. The cold stark walls of this place hold nothing for me anymore.
For the first time, I’m in love and I can’t enjoy it. I can’t have the one thing I want more than life, because no matter how strong that love is, it can’t be. Not now, and possibly not ever, and that realization sucks.
I finish packing the last of my stuff and head down to illicit some help from the bar backs. When I get to the bar, Damon and Austin are going on about something.
“What’s up, guys?”
“Not much. Just don’t go into room four. They are definitely fucking. I walked in and right back out.” Damon is nonplused but I’m majorly disgusted. Doesn’t surprise me, though. I’ve been there, done that in another life.
“Jesus, well make sure to sterilize the shit out of that room before tomorrow.” Shaking my head, I look to room four just in time to see the culprits walk out while adjusting their clothes. It takes a second for everything to register but when it does, I see red.
Cal Loche, Leah’s fiancé, is the culprit along with someone other than Leah. I don’t even think. I just stalk toward him and grab the collar of his shirt. I’m up in his face before he can even register me.
“What the fuck, Reed? Get your fucking hands off me.”
“You son of a bitch. Leah’s off taking her sister who almost died to rehab, and you’re out fucking around? You’re a piece of shit.”
“Like I care about her druggy sister. I’d have left her to die.”
My arm flies up and my fist connects with his nose, sending blood splattering all over the whore who is just standing there idly watching. She screams as the first drops hit her.
“Fucccckkkk. What the fuck, Reed? You fucking hit me!”
“If you ever talk about Bailey like that again, you won’t walk. Are we clear?” He doesn’t say anything. “Are. We. Clear?”
“You have some balls, man. I’ll press charges.”
“Good luck.”
The girl finally speaks. “Excuse me, but you owe me money. I did my job, now I want to go home.”
“Shut the fuck up, slut. I’ll pay you when I’m good and ready. You’ll stay put until I tell you otherwise.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He’s spending his time with a prostitute.
At those words, Cal’s head jerks to me with eyes wide as saucers. “Reed, man, you can’t say anything. My parents, they’ll cut off my trust if they find out.”
“Break it off. I don’t care what you need to say, but you and Leah are officially done. You get back together and this whole interaction will be plastered on every tabloid in New York. You feel me?”
“Reed. I-I can’t. I love Leah. I just sometimes need to switch it up. I’ll change. I’ll be good to her. I can’t break off our engagement.” He’s hysterical at this point and I love being in control.
“Take it or leave it. Mommy and Daddy take the trust, or you man up and let Leah be happy with someone who deserves her. Your call, but you better make it quick.” I pull out my phone and act like I’m dialing.
“Okay-wait. Fine. I’ll-I’ll do it. Shit. This is going to break her.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you fucked around with a whore.”
“Hey, I’m right here,” the prostitute says from the side.
“Get out of here, and if I see you again, I’ll call the police and turn your skank ass in myself.”
She huffs off leaving me with the sniveling Cal. With his head hung low, Cal says, “I’m going to go call Leah now.”
I watch him slug off in satisfaction. Leah may hurt for a while, but in the long run she’ll be much better off.
Bailey
Leah and I arrive in Arizona on Friday afternoon. The heat is sweltering, and I hope to God that this place has air-conditioning.
As we pull up, I see that Reed spared no expense. I can tell this place is amazing and I haven’t even walked inside yet. He clearly forgot I am a commoner. It looks like it was made for Hollywood royalty. I can’t imagine many people could afford the opulence of Helping Hands.
“Wow,” Leah says beside me. “He hooked you up.”
“He sure did. This place is incredible.” My gazes lingers across what will be my home for the next sixty days. A large coral terra cotta house spans the distance, stretching out against the Arizona horizon. Cactuses and flowers that I imagine are indigenous to the locale are scattered across the property to make up the peaceful ambiance.
Leah squeezes my hand lightly. “Come on, let’s see what this paradise has to offer.”
And that’s just what this is—paradise. Paradise hopefully not hiding the hell I imagine rehab should be.
We begin to push open the dark mahogany door when a friendly man offers to take my bag. This place really seems more like a fancy spa. Walking through the door, we are instantly greeted with a serene and calming atmosphere. Candles line the walls, and soft classical music plays over the surround sound.
As we walk further into the lobby, a tall lithe blonde woman graceful strides over to us. “Hello, you must be Bailey. My name is Harmony.”
Of course it is. She’s probably the holistic life coach on staff. I want to roll my eyes, but I refrain. I need to be here. So instead, I lift my hand to meet her already extended hand.
“Hi, Harmony. This is my sister, Leah.” I step back, allowing Leah to reach out with her hand.
“It’s a pleasure meeting you as well, Leah. I’ll be giving you both the tour of the property, and then I’ll show Bailey to her room. ” She starts to walk toward a set of double doors that must hold the treatment facilities.
“So here at Helping Hands, we have a much different approach to healing. We treat the underlying issues that lead to your addiction, rather than just the substance that brought you to us. Ultimately, our goal while you are here is to find the root of the problem and focus there.” Her lip turns upward and her eyes crinkle as she smiles.
“That makes complete sense. It’s pretty pointless just to put a Band-Aid on it,” Leah agrees as she nods repeatedly. Harmony points to a room on the right as we continue our way down the hall.
“That way is our state-of-the-art spa. Inside, you will find every amenity your heart could desire, as well as a full staff including estheticians and a masseuse. Anything you need is at your disposal.”
My mouth drops open. Wow. Reed really spared no expense. My heart tightens in my chest about how wrong I was. How I had let a misconception crush me. How I didn’t have enough trust in him to seek the truth before I succumbed to my usual self-destructive tendencies.
“If you would like to see the spa now, it would be my pleasure.” I shake my head no, so we continue our path. “Right over here is the art studio. We find art is a great way for our guests to outlet their emotions.”
She pushes open a large glass door and we step inside. The room is large and sp
acious. There is a scattering of easels facing the glass retracting walls the face the outside patio. Through the glass, I can see more easels with an unobscured view of the mountain in the distance. It really is perfect.
Harmony leads us out onto the patio. In the distance, I see a group of women doing yoga. “We also hold daily workout classes outside, as well as mediating sessions. We have a full gym off of the spa. We highly suggest that every guest takes a mediation session every day.”
“That sounds wonderful. Doesn’t it, Bae?”
I just nod, not able to voice my words as I’m to overcome with emotions. I still don’t understand what I did to deserve this. If anything, Reed should have written me off completely and told me to fuck off. But instead, he has given me all the tools to heal myself, and for that I will be forever grateful.
“How about therapy? Also, is Bailey allowed phone privileges?” Leah asks as we walk back inside to continue our tour.
“Great question. So each day, you will have one group session as well as a one on one. They are held in whichever location you feel the most comfortable. We feel that being connected to the outside world is essential to having long-lasting success, so we allow and encourage it. We find that if a problem arises, we are here to help. If we keep the guest cocooned in a bubble, the moment they reenter reality, they are often not equipped to handle the new pressure and have a tendency to regress.”
“Perfect. That makes complete sense.”
We continue our tour of the facility, and I’m floored by how perfect it is. Once we arrive in my private suite, my shoulders have finally loosened. This is going to be good.
“I’ll give you to a chance to say goodbye, and I’ll return in an hour to see how you’re adjusting. It was a pleasure meeting both of you.” Harmony steps out of the room and Leah turns to me.
“Wow. That’s all I can say.” She laughs.
“I know, right? This is crazy nice. I feel like I don’t—”
Leah lifts her hand to cut me off. “Stop that thought right there. You need this and no questioning anything past that, okay?”
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