by Jen Calonita
“I do, but…” I falter.
“You can multitask,” Mom says. “We can squeeze in both, and you can do sci-fi and work toward Oscar glory. Sweetie, I want you to have it all.”
Laney looks at her plate. Seth looks annoyed. Matty seems a tad jealous. Everyone seems to think this is a bad idea except for Mom. I know it’s Eastwood and Clooney, but Seth makes the schedule sound like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I’m intrigued, but how am I going to do it all? I think of what Nadine said. “I don’t want to be worn out before I even begin work,” I say gingerly. “The second season of the show, should we get one, is so important. Maybe I should only pick one film.”
“Kaitlin.” Mom’s smile fades and her voice sounds strained. “You don’t have to pick one. Didn’t I just explain how this would work?”
“Yes, but doing both feels like a lot.” Suddenly I feel very small.
“It’s not a lot!” Mom’s voice is shrill. “You can do it all! I can do it all! I manage you and your brother, and I’ll persuade Nancy about the Daisies. If I can do it, you can too.”
“But…” What if I don’t want to do it all? What if I want a life too? That’s what I’ve always wanted—work and a real life and to keep them both separate. But I don’t say that part. I’m too afraid of upsetting Mom and making her turn into a female Hulk.
“Sweetie, maybe you should go freshen up,” Dad suggests and puts his hand on Mom’s shoulder.
“Yes, I could use a spritz of Evian.” Mom is trancelike. “I’ll be right back.” We watch her walk away.
“I’m sorry,” Dad apologizes to the table. “She’s been under so much pressure lately. With Matty taking off and Kate-Kate doing so well, it’s a lot.” He wrings his hands hopelessly. “I don’t know what to do. She won’t let me help, and I’ve got enough time on my hands.” He laughs sort of bitterly. I don’t like the mood my parents are in one bit.
“I’m sorry Meg is overwhelmed,” Seth says gingerly, “but that shouldn’t affect Kaitlin. I’m her agent, and I don’t think doing both projects over hiatus is in her best interest. If I can move one…”
Dad shakes his head and looks at me with sadness in his eyes. “Your mom always does right by you, Katie-kins. If she thinks you can do both, I’m sure you can. But the decision lies with you.”
“Yeah, right. Mom will make her do it even if she says no,” Matty mutters and takes another bite of his thirty-nine-dollar Kobe beef burger.
Matty’s right. When Mom gets something in her head, there is no changing her mind. She’s going to push and push till I say yes to both movies. Why not save myself the headache and just say yes now? Maybe if I psych myself up the next few months, when the hiatus rolls around I won’t even notice the extra workload.
I’m lying to myself already. I’m definitely going to be overworked.
I think of Mom again. I’ve never seen her so close to the edge. She’s my mom. I can’t let her down as much as this schedule might kill me. I’ve done worse, right? I’ll survive.
I hope.
“I’ll do both,” I say reluctantly and Seth looks pained. “Set up meetings with both directors.”
Saturday, November 7
NOTE TO SELF:
Book Mom spa day.
Read scripts by Monday.
Find time to read scripts by Monday.
Have Nadine read Eastwood while you read Cameron. Hopefully have time to switch.
DMV test: Less than five weeks away!!!
SIX: A Slice of Real Life
Forty-five minutes after Mom’s mini meltdown, I’m sitting snugly in a corner booth at A Slice of Heaven, my favorite pizza place. Well, everyone’s favorite pizza place. Austin, Josh, Trevor, and even Sky are pretty hooked on it too. It’s nothing much to look at—checkerboard tablecloths, old chairs, a linoleum floor that has seen much better days, and the requisite faded posters of Italy on the walls—but the pies are just as good, if not better, than the ones I had in New York last summer. That might be because Antonio ran a restaurant there before he moved to Los Angeles. Because it’s so late, we pretty much have the place to ourselves. Antonio let us change the satellite radio station to my current favorite, Arcade Fire.
“I cannot believe you’re going to work with James Cameron!” Liz screams after I’ve finished telling them about the two projects I’m considering. “James Cameron! Kates! This is HUGE!” As soon as I sat down, I had to spill what happened at dinner. I was so excited and confused, I was going to burst. Everyone has been debating which film I should take since. They don’t know I’ve, um, committed to both if my standard meet and greets with the directors go well next week.
“The other offer with Clooney, Eastwood, Roberts, and that vampire guy sounds like gravy too,” Austin says with a grin as he dives into another slice of pizza. Liz just put in an order for her and my specialty—a pie with extra cheese, peppers, and broccoli.
“She’s not doing both,” Sky interrupts, sounding a twinge annoyed. “She can’t! We don’t have enough time off. Your mom is nuts to consider it. But”—she smiles slyly—“you could pick one and give me the other offer.”
“Ah, the truth comes out,” I tell her and pour myself a glass of Sprite from the giant plastic pitcher in the middle of the table.
“I’m just saying.” Sky picks at her salad pizza, overflowing with walnuts, cranberries, endive, and blue cheese. “I was probably first on their list, but then they heard I already had a project for hiatus.” Trevor nods supportively. “Working with Jason Reitman is nothing to sneeze at.”
“Absolutely not,” I say with sincerity. “Up in the Air is still on my top ten list.”
“I turned down Steven Weitzman’s new one.” Sky blots her mouth delicately with a napkin. “I so don’t want to be part of a project with a release date that gets delayed twenty-three months.”
“Hey, that was one movie,” I point out. “You don’t know that it will happen again.”
Sky shrugs. “Why chance it?”
HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER SIX: Movie release dates get pushed back all the time. It shouldn’t be a huge deal, but it still is. When you hear about a delay, some people in the industry immediately think it’s because the movie is a bomb, or it wasn’t finished on time and it needs costly reshoots. Those could be the reasons, but there are legitimate excuses for moving a film release date too. Sometimes two big movies are booked for the same opening weekend, and one moves to avoid getting thumped by the other at the box office. When Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince moved from a November release to a summer release, there were no other major movies coming out for the Thanksgiving holiday. So Twilight was bumped up from a December release—where there were plenty of other movies coming out and providing competition—to a Thanksgiving release so that it could snag the box office glory. Smaller films have issues too. They might be waiting for a distribution deal at one of the film festivals, where someone offers up the money to get into theaters. Whatever the case, delays make actors nervous. They don’t want to see a movie they made three years ago show up on theater screens after another flick they’ve made more recently. It just looks bad.
“So?” Sky prods, touching one of her emerald earrings. Her green Stella McCartney top looks a bit dressy for a pizza place, but then again, we all look overdressed, having come from the Turkey Tasters event, and me having changed for dinner at the Polo Lounge earlier. “Which movie are you going to take if you get them?” Sky emphasizes the if.
Everyone looks at me expectantly, and instead of answering straight away, I take a huge gulp of my Sprite then quickly mumble the answer into my napkin. “Both.”
“Did you just say both?” Liz drops her current slice back onto the plate. “Kates, are you insane? This totally goes against your work and real life separation thing.”
“Separating life and work is impossible for actors,” Sky interrupts. “I keep telling you guys that. You can’t split yourself into two people. You are who you are and you make it work.” Sky
wags a fork holding walnuts at me. “But I do agree with Liz—are you insane? You can’t do both. There’s not enough time, and both of those directors are perfectionists and immersive-type workers. You can’t switch between the two. Unless you want to put out two mediocre performances and screw up the second season of Small Fries when we go back to work in late July.”
I look to Austin for support, but he seems as shocked as the others. His face practically goes as dark as the navy polo he’s wearing. “Burke, they’re both killer offers, but it seems like overload.”
“It isn’t,” I insist, launching into a sales pitch. “Seth and Mom will work out an agreement with the studios, and I will do one day here and one night there and split days and weekends and…” I trail off and my shoulders slump. “Who am I kidding? It’s just not possible! I don’t care if Mom has a coronary. I have to say no to one of these, right?”
“That’s what I said five minutes ago,” Sky says lightly. “Now you’ve wasted five minutes of my night off. Thanks.” I give her a look.
“You know, up until this film-offers fiasco, I’ve been loving the newfound freedom I’ve got thanks to Mom being tied up with Matty’s blossoming career,” I admit. “But now that Mom is back on my case, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed again! She’s trying to make sure she gives equal time to both of us, but instead of having Mom-and-Kaitlin quality time, like she promised, she’s just overbooking me and piling on the press.”
“I’m sorry, Burke. Things were going so well.” Austin puts an arm around me and rubs my right shoulder.
“She’s not going to stop pushing till I sign on the dotted line for both movies,” I say sadly. “There’s no fighting her. I’m just going to lose.”
“I told you,” Sky interrupts. “Do what I did. Fire her.”
“I should fire her,” I blurt out. My eyes widen and I slap a hand over my mouth. “I didn’t just say that.”
“Whoa,” Trevor and Josh say at the same time, actually taking a break from wolfing down garlic knots long enough to join in the conversation.
“Yes, you did.” Liz points at me accusingly before fixing her purple headband. Her pink-and-purple Pucci print dress is as fiery as her temper at the moment. “Finally!”
“I don’t know, it’s just that…” I feel so flustered. “I don’t want to have no relationship with her, but I’m sick of her bullying me into things that my agent thinks is a bad idea.”
“So you do want to fire her,” Sky says, her eyes lighting up. “Good, because I think I found the perfect manager for us both.”
I picture myself giving Mom the heave-ho, and then I see her crushed face. The same one she had at the Polo Lounge when I lightly mentioned her taking a step back. “Forget I said anything. I can’t do it.”
“Baby steps,” Austin says gently. “No one says you have to fire your mom…”
“I do!” Liz and Sky say at the same time.
Austin gives them both a look. “We just want you to be happy,” Austin says delicately. “If your mom is one of the things making you unhappy, then maybe you have to change your relationship with her. But not tonight.” He looks at the others. “Why don’t we talk about something else?”
“I decided to add Berkeley and Penn State to my college applications list,” Liz offers excitedly, sounding like she’s been holding this in all night.
“How many schools does that make now, Lizzie? Fifteen?” Josh tries to keep a straight face.
“There is no cap on the number of schools you’re allowed to apply to,” Liz tells him and grabs a slice of the hot pie that just arrived—our favorite. She quickly slides one onto my plate too. After what happened with Mom at the Polo Lounge, I barely touched my dinner. Now I’m starved, but I hope I don’t get grease on my plum sateen top. It’s Aryn K!
“I know—you’re keeping your options open,” Josh finishes and winks at her. “So you keep telling me.”
“Is that why I got an application from Berkeley today?” I ask, rubbing my fingers on my napkin to get rid of the grease on my hands. “That’s the fifth application package I got this week. Mom freaked when she found the ones for UCLA and Boston University.” I cringe at the memory. (Mom actually yelled, “BOSTON? THEY DON’T SHOOT MOVIES IN BOSTON! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?” They do shoot movies there, but I didn’t want to argue with her.) “Did you have the school send them to me?” I ask Liz.
Liz shakes her head. “I don’t have time to get you applications. I barely have enough time to finish my own.”
I look at Austin questioningly. “Same here,” he says. “I’m up to ten schools myself. ”
Sky rolls her eyes. “I don’t get the point of college. If you know what you want to do, just go do it.”
“If you can find a lawyer who doesn’t have a law degree and you still want to use him, let me know,” Trevor argues.
Sky glares at him and looks at me instead. “K, you’re not getting wrapped up in this nonsense too, are you? I don’t need our show taking off and you disappearing on me, between school and the three billion projects your mom is twisting your arm about.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her, blowing on the hot cheese. “I don’t know why I keep getting these applications. The only one I got on my own is University of Southern California. Nadine wants me to apply.”
“Are you going to?” Austin asks.
“Please don’t,” begs Sky, tugging on my sleeve with her greasy fingers. She should know better! Trevor nudges her. “What? K is a good actress. Well, not as good as me, but…” She looks at me with laser-sharp, dark eyes. “You don’t need college. You already have a career. You know what you want.”
“Sky, zip it,” Liz warns her. “If Kates wants to go to college, she should go to college.”
“But she has a career already!” Sky sounds exasperated. “You know you want to be an actress, right?”
I stir my Sprite with my straw, staring into the bubbles. “Yes,” I say slowly, “but I still think it’s smart to study other things. Making a career choice at the age of four is pretty much unheard of. ”
“I always knew I was doing what I was meant to do,” Sky says, her chin held high. “I can’t imagine sitting at a cramped little cube, listening to people drone on and on about their problems over the coffeemaker.” She shivers. “No offense.”
“None taken,” says Josh. “I’m itching to have a cube someday. Not.”
“K, why do you seem so wishy-washy about this?” Sky looks suspicious. “You wanted this TV show!”
I sigh. “I know. I love TV! It’s just…” Maybe it’s just the shock of Sky firing her mom. Or how tired I am after three events in six hours. Or how drained I feel from dealing with my mom’s recent mood swings. Whatever it is, I’m in a reflective mood. “When I walked into A Slice of Heaven tonight, it made me think of the past. Lizzie, we sat in this booth the night I came up with the Clark Hall idea, remember?”
“That was here, wasn’t it?” Liz smiles and plays with one of her hoop earrings. “God, that seems so long ago.”
“Even though Sky outed me”—I give her a look and she just shrugs—“I loved being at Clark. I think I finally learned a little about having balance. Maybe that’s why I still crave it. I like being an actress, but I like having a life too. I’ve managed to have both up until now.” I rub my temples, not caring if I ruin my foundation. “Just thinking about working twenty-four/seven during hiatus makes me tired.”
“I know one thing no one is making you do,” Josh says with a wink. “Take your driving test—that’s all you, Kaitlin. It’s about freakin’ time.” Liz hits him in the arm.
“Kates likes to take her time with things,” Liz says in my defense, “and I can’t think of a better time to get your license than on your eighteenth birthday.”
Eighteen. I can’t believe I’m going to be eighteen in just a few weeks! Austin turned eighteen in October, and we went out for sushi to celebrate. I also bought him the latest version of Rock Ba
nd even though the company that makes it keeps offering me copies for free. I just feel like it isn’t a gift if you don’t buy it yourself. Matty took them up on it, though, and got one for his dressing room. I hear his room has become the place to be on the Scooby set when people aren’t filming.
“If K fails she’ll ruin her birthday,” Sky says, chewing happily on a cranberry from her salad pizza. The whole table gives her a dirty look. “What? I’m just kidding! K is going to pass! She’s out in the studio parking lot with Rod-O practically every afternoon doing those three-point-turn thingies.”
A slow song by Taylor Swift comes on, and all this college talk, mommy drama, and DMV stuff is forgotten. Liz and Josh, and even Sky and Trevor, get up and dance in between tables. I’m so deep in my own thoughts I don’t realize Austin and I are the only two left in the booth.
“What are you thinking about, Burke?” Austin asks after a while. He slips his warm hand into mine.
“I’m been thinking about that University of Southern California essay question.” I look at my friends on the dance floor. “‘Do I change my own life or does my life change me?’”
Austin nods. “I’ve been struggling with that essay too.”
“I didn’t know you were applying there.” I feel a surge of hope at the thought of Austin staying close to home rather than moving three thousand miles away to go to college in Boston like he’s always wanted.
Austin shrugs. “I guess I’m like Liz. I’m trying to keep my options open. Plus I spoke to the lacrosse coach there, and they have a killer team.” He smiles. “Maybe they’ll offer me a scholarship. I could use one. Besides, the school looks awesome, and they have a good education program.” Austin is thinking about being a P.E. teacher, which he would be incredible at.
“We can work on the application together,” I suggest. Maybe having Austin in the room with me is just the push I need to actually do it. Wouldn’t it be cool if we went to USC together? Walking to class, studying in the library, getting matching USC sweatshirts…