She couldn’t help but feel like their roles were switching. She was now the positive one while Alexander reflected negative emotion.
“Is this how I always sound? So gloomy and doubtful? It’s weird to be on the other side for once,” her mind wandered.
The thought made her regret all her self-loathing and emotional moments around him, she had never wanted to be a burden. And she certainly did not want him to feel obligated to deal with her baggage out of duty because he was her Guardian. Yet, she knew exactly why he had put up with her negativity and offered continual support and it had nothing to do with job occupation. It was the same reason she now did the same for him. They loved one another, and part of being in a relationship meant sharing burdens and being strong when the other experienced times of weakness.
It meant lifting each other up, always building toward a common goal. It was certainly a mature philosophy for a girl her age, but she’d learned these things from watching her parents. Those timeless truths were deeply ingrained within her.
She’d also learned a relationship was rarely fifty-fifty, with both halves giving equally. It was usually more like a seventy-thirty split, or even ninety-ten. At one time or another, one person was usually giving more or bearing more weight. The secret was to pass this percentage back and forth. This was what she felt was going on at the moment.
Alexander was there for her when she struggled. Now it was her turn to do the same for him. She actually liked the thought of finally being able to offer him something. She’d often felt like their relationship was the ninety-ten split with her only offering up the meager portion.
Alexander gave her a rueful smile. “Then what do you want to talk about? Would you like to discuss this?” He leaned over, sinking his arm deeply into the water and then flinging a bucket-like load onto her.
Emily squealed with laughter, returning the attack by kicking water in his direction.
Water sprayed everywhere, landing unnoticed on the stone around them, their vision blinded by the water rockets created in the air.
Emily changed her plan of defense and started using her hands to frantically fling water directly at his face. She was successful in completely soaking his head before he grabbed both her wrists in an effort to stop her attack.
His dark hair now looked entirely black, as loose locks covered his forehead. It was the first time Emily had seen his hair out of place. She laughed between gasps for air as Alexander did the same, holding her hands so as not to let her splash anymore.
Their laughter soon quieted and she continued to breathe deeply through her nose. She’d exerted all her energy.
Then she noticed Alexander examining her hands; turning them over, to inspect her palms and fingertips.
“What, what’s wrong?” But she knew what he was hunting for.
“Did you cut yourself or just prick your finger?” he raised his critical eye to assess her face.
She hadn’t expected him to bring the subject up and certainly not like this, in the middle of their much-needed respite.
“I cut my left palm,” she anxiously threw her head to the side, tossing her dripping hair over her shoulder to lay in a mess on her back.
“There’s no wound, no scar?”
“I was pretty shocked, too. Aldara said the water was giving back to me. I got something in return,” she smiled, a sense of satisfaction causing her facial features to lift.
“Hhmmm.,” Alexander gave a forced grunt from his chest letting go of her.
She turned back to stare at the water in front of her, imagining the water she’d recently come from. Its purity called to her even now, and she enjoyed the thought of going back every day, even when it meant a momentary flare of pain. It felt so good and refreshing to be a part of something spectacular, something that would benefit others. It wasn’t a foreign feeling for her as most of her life had been spent aiding her father with his charity work but this time was different. This wasn’t her father’s work it was hers; she had found her own ‘charity’ to serve.
She placed her hands in her lap, only to realize her gown was completely soaked. Although it was not translucent she was suddenly uncomfortable. The material clung too closely to her body. She instinctively crossed her arms over her chest.
“I’m too wet.” Emily swiftly pulled her legs from the water.
After only a few steps her foot landed in a discreet pool of water created from their splashing game. As soon as she felt the coolness it was gone as her feet flew out in front of her. Throwing her hands back she braced herself for the fall, but she didn’t feel the hard marble floor like she expected.
Instead Alexander’s warm soft hands cradled her head and back; he had caught her.
Emily remained still for a moment embarrassed for multiple reasons, now she looked like a klutz.
“Careful” Alexander cautioned as he raised her to a standing position. “We wouldn’t want the Elder’s prize possession damaged would we?”
Possession? Emily’s thoughts were stuck between gratitude for his help and insult from his comment. She wasn’t anyone’s possession or prize and she could hardly believe Alexander had referenced her as such.
“They don’t own me Alexander, no one does.” She said firmly and then turned and walked over to the vanity where her robe waited, draped across the chair.
Swinging the cloak around her back, she struggled to get her wet arms through the sleeves, as they protested against the material.
She heard wet heavy footsteps quicken behind her.
The weight of the robe was then lifted as Alexander held it by the neck for her to more easily slip into. Once she freed her hands of the tangled mess of sleeves she wrapped the front closed and held it tightly.
“That was embarrassing,” Emily thought to herself. She was about to turn around and thank him for his help but she stopped.
Alexander had moved in a little closer, his chest now almost touching her back. She felt his hands lift her soaked hair, pulling it from the entangled mess beneath her robe. He ran his fingers through it a few times, combing out the knots. He then draped it over her shoulder to the front, exposing her neck on the left side.
“Thanks,” Emily whispered. It was a kind thing for him to do but at the same time it seemed oddly intrusive.
“You know…” his voice was suddenly deep and indulgent.
There was no mistaking the sudden shift in mood. It was eerie and uncomfortable. A feeling she never expected with him.
“We all belong to someone, Emily. No one is really completely free of the ties that bind them.”
“I don’t agree,” she countered, silently hoping the prickle which had begun to run down her spine was from being wet in the open air.
“Just think about it, when you say yes to someone, either to do them a favor or help them, you give them your time, thoughts, talents, emotions. So in essence a piece of yourself for however long you allow it, therefore they own you, even if it is only a small piece.”
“I suppose if you look at it that way,” Emily’s response was unsure and timid. The alarm sounding in her head distracted her from any rational thought or argument she might have. It was the same signal she got the other day in the meadow, although this time it was much stronger.
“But love is different,” Alexander closed the few inches between them pressing his chest to her back and placing his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t think it deals with ownership, I think it has to deal with acceptance. Fully accepting one another, just the way they are.”
The rattling beat of Emily’s heart began first in her ears, but not for the usual reason. The feelings emanating from him were palpable.
She froze, not ready to say something fearful she might make wrongful assumptions about his intentions and insult him. But Alexander moved his lips closer, almost touching her ear. “Do you accept me like this?”
A few small droplets of water fell from the loose strands of his hair, landing on the patch of exposed skin on
her neck. The water was no longer warm but had grown cold, as it gathered in Alexander’s hair trickling down like water from icicles.
Emily shivered, but she wasn’t sure if it was the tiny splash of water or Alexander’s words which caused it.
What is he doing? He can’t possibly be implying what I think he is.
This wasn’t like him; in fact it was the complete opposite of his usual, chivalrous behavior. What she thought he was now suggesting didn’t match the qualities he’d always shown, indeed the very chaste characteristics she knew he possessed.
She swallowed hard. “That’s not very funny,” she tried to force a halfhearted laugh but it came out like a nervous cough. Afraid turning into him would imply consent; she kept her eyes focused forward.
“Who said I was trying to be funny?” Alexander whispered directly into her ear. He raised his fingers and slowly pushed the robe over one shoulder and wiped at the water beads still present on her skin. The soft caress of his fingertips spoke volumes.
There was no way to deny his intentions now. The room began to spin, her breathing became labored and she felt like she might hyperventilate. Never had she thought a bold pass like this would happen with Alexander. What would drive him to act like this?
Of course, Emily was like most young women and the thought of being intimate with him had crossed her mind. He was beyond attractive and quite irresistible; but she’d pushed those feelings away, refusing to get lost in her desires. It had always been fairly easy because he had never made her feel as though he was advancing past her limits. No, their parameters were clear from the very beginning and now he was blatantly crossing those lines
Part of Emily wanted to give in, just as she’d wanted to in the meadow when he had kissed her so passionately. But she fought the urge, knowing each moment she let things progress would make the next harder to resist. And, in the end, two things she hated most were breaking a promise and regret. This was a situation she knew involved both.
“Alexander… don’t.” Emily wanted to sound determined, authoritative. Instead it came out as a soft plea.
His hand pulled back. She no longer felt his breath on her neck. The unmistakable sound of a backward step brought instant relief, although now she feared the awkward moment which was bound to come next.
“Alright.” He peered at her reflection in the mirror fastened to the vanity.
Emily was squeezing her eyes shut, trying to block out the moment. She finally glanced at the glass and met his gaze.
Alexander’s green eyes looked so cold and flat she forgot to breathe. Those eyes were not the ones she knew and loved. That gaze was not the one which had mesmerized her so many times before.
Confusion flooded her thoughts and fogged her mind. Tears threatened to trickle. Her throat felt constricted as she held back the urge to cry.
“This is not supposed to be happening,” Emily silently chanted to herself.
She refused to speak, she couldn’t.
Their eyes stayed locked for a few moments, then Alexander vanished.
She glanced around, searching her room. But she could feel his absence. He was really gone. She’d grown accustomed to the feeling of his presence, whether he was in human form or not she’d learned to sense him.
She made her way over to the bed, slipping down onto the soft velvet pad. She attempted to sort through her thoughts, but it was like snatching at pesky flies zipping in and out of her head. No one emotion was dominant; instead there was a flood of mixed feelings. It was all too much and the tears began to spill freely over her cheeks. A few sobs escaped her throat, allowing her airways to expand again.
The event was more than a mere seductive moment. It was more evidence Alexander was changing. Something inside him was different. The cause was unknown to her; she speculated it had to do with the meeting in the Great Hall over a week ago. That was the first she’d seen of Alexander’s irrational behavior. Yet the change in him went deeper. The Alexander she knew would not be so affected by a simple disagreement with his Elders. No, his very will was changing and it frightened her. She needed to talk to someone and it needed to be as soon as she could gather her wits and emotions.
Xavier might be able to help her. She decided to search him out first thing in the morning. She needed to get to the bottom of everything before things got any worse.
Chapter 11
Emily asked Olivia to make her excuses to Damarus for the day. She wasn’t sure how long she would be and didn’t want him to wait for her. Training would have to be postponed until tomorrow. Besides, there was no way she could have dedicated the attention needed to her exercises, not after last night.
Making her way past the Gathering Stone she tried to appear calm and collected. She smiled and acknowledged every Guardian she passed, not wanting any of them to sense her distress. Olivia told her she believed Xavier could be found in the west gardens near the men’s quarters. He and a few of the other Guardians often playfully sparred there in the morning for exercise.
As soon as Emily found herself alone on the cobblestone path she picked up her pace. She’d agreed to wear a long dress instead of her training tunic and now she wished she hadn’t. It was hard for her to grow accustomed to the clothing choices in Eden. They resembled garments worn in ancient Roman or Greek times and though she had to admit there was a little girl inside her that still delighted in playing dress up, the fact was the more formal clothing could sometimes get in the way. Just like it did now as she tried to move quicker and the reams of material thwarted her hasty steps.
Coming around a long wall of shrubs, Emily halted her jog when she saw a cluster of twenty or so male Guardians. Loud laughter and shouts rang sporadically through the group.
It was hard to discern exactly what was going on because the men had formed a tight circle. Most of them stood tall, but a few were crouched down on one knee, slapping the ground and yelling excitedly.
Emily approached the group, jumping and ducking to get a peek at what was going on inside the circle and to see if she could spot Xavier. When she eventually found a small gap in the crowd to squeeze through it was no surprise to find him in the center of the circle, wrestling.
Xavier circled his opponent in a crouched manner with his arms stretched forward. The other man had a similar posture although he kept one leg far back, as if anchoring his stance. Xavier shot in low, successfully locking his arms around the other man’s upper thighs, immediately driving his momentum forward, causing them both to crash to the ground. It was a scramble from there and Emily was having a hard time keeping up with their movements. Both men were quick and agile and she wondered if it was possible for either of them to overpower the other. It seemed an equal match.
None of the spectators noticed her at first as they all cheered and coached the two Guardians. Soon a few eyes fell upon her and the shouts began to die down. Both wrestling Guardians looked up when the crowd finally fell silent.
She felt quite out of place as every green eye fixated on her. Xavier immediately released his grasp on the other man.
“Hey, Em. How’s it going?” Xavier threw his hand out to the side catching the shirt another Guardian tossed him. The cotton cloth covered his deeply tanned skin as he pulled it over his head. His blonde hair was tied back but now after his wrestling match, numerous loose locks escaped the leather band. He certainly fit the stereotype of a California surfer. Even his relaxed and goofy personality matched.
“This is what you all do for fun?” Emily teased. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. I should expect this by now.” She was trying not to immediately assault him with her numerous questions. They needed to talk in private and right now everyone’s attention was still on her, it was important to appear relaxed despite the pressing sense of urgency she felt.
“Yeah, well, boys will be boys, right?” he shrugged.
There was a lot of truth in Xavier’s statement whether he meant it to be profound or not.
“Was that what
last night was? Alexander was just being a boy?” Emily knew desires coursed through men and women. She was not entirely naïve nor did she think it was wrong for people to be attracted to one another in such a way. What was wrong about the situation was for the first time he had failed to exert self-control over those natural desires, something she never expected from him.
Emily snapped back to the present. “Uh, I was wondering if you could escort me to the Library. I have some questions and Olivia is busy for the moment, as is Alexander.” Speaking his name only fueled the fire burning inside her. Where was he? It felt so weird to not know and to have no idea what state of mind he might be in.
Everyone knew she was supposed to be training with Damarus and Alexander rarely, if ever, left her side, although the tally marks for him disappearing on her were growing rapidly. She dropped her head not wanting to meet questioning stares from any of the Guardian who still lingered.
“Yep, sounds good. Alexander told me he would be busy today and wanted me to look after you. I would have come earlier but I got distracted. Lexington challenged me to a match.” Xavier pointed to a Guardian who was readjusting his own shirt after pulling it on. “I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to beat on him a bit,” he winked.
“Sorry about that, Emily. If I had known you needed Xavier I wouldn’t have detained him,” Lexington spoke up.
She noticed his hair was a similar color to Xavier’s, yet not as light. He wore his much shorter, practically shaved to the skin. His eyes were the usual green but she caught a glimmer of blue in them just like in Damarus’. It amazed her how many shades of green existed where Guardians eyes were concerned.
“That’s okay, there’s no rush,” Emily lied as she acknowledged Lexington’s apology.
“Well, shall we?” Xavier gestured at a path to their left indicating the two of them could take their leave. “I’d be happy to take you to the Library.”
Emily was relieved. She could tell he knew something was up. Hopefully this would save her an uncomfortable and, long explanation.
Daughter of Earth (Tales of the Guardian) Page 9