Anneliese glared. “I’m not the enemy. I don’t know what’s going on with other Earthlings, but I know what’s going on with me. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
Nex sat with her, close enough that their bodies touched. Anneliese stifled the urge to lean into him as he said, “Anneliese, you don’t have to argue your case to us.”
“No, I need to prove my case to the others, the ones who have decided I’m guilty through association. It’s just like Earth.”
Salno did gaze at her then. “How do you mean?”
“All you have to do is have a certain look or belong to a certain group. If a member of your particular bunch does a wrong thing, everyone who looks slightly similar must be guilty. Same planet, different day.”
“It still doesn’t answer what angrily confronting your challengers will accomplish.”
“I can’t be expected to sit there and accept accusations of being in league with the Monsuda.”
“No one specifically accused you.”
Anneliese wished she could walk. She wanted to go over and shake Salno. The torment of her knee was a stark reminder she could not.
She covered by concentrating on something she could rail against. “Didn’t you see the way the men looked at me? They were charging me, all right. Maybe they didn’t come out and say something, but they were pretty obvious about how they felt.”
Salno blinked at her and went back to making tea. “Again, you would accomplish nothing by calling them out on it, would you?”
Nex shifted, as if uncomfortable with the discussion. “Salno, it would be best to let this go for now.”
Anneliese disagreed. “It needs to be addressed. I have a stake in this. I need to know if someone from Earth is in league with the Monsuda. I can’t do that if everyone believes I’m working with them too!”
“‘Everyone’ does not believe you’re part of a conspiracy, Anneliese. You must stop thinking in absolutes.” Salno came over with a couple of cups, which she gave to Nex and Anneliese.
Anneliese stared into the green-colored beverage, fighting the irrational urge to fling it at the Risnarish woman. She considered Salno a friend. Salno meant no disrespect. She was genuinely trying to understand her frustration—an emotion Anneliese doubted Salno had ever experienced in her sheltered life.
How did a dragonfly explain soaring in the air to a flower?
She tried again. “If your people start treating me with suspicion, it could hamper my efforts to discover the truth. If I do find out what’s going on, they might not believe me. It’s not a matter of my pride this time, Salno. I should have defended myself to the others in order to protect both Risnar and Earth from whatever is happening.” She looked to Nex, hoping for some help. “Am I making any sense here?”
He gave her a rueful shrug. “I understand what you’re saying. I’m just not sure those who need convincing are willing to hear.”
“Well, we’ll never know, will we? I missed the chance to set them straight.”
Salno sat on her pallet, her legs bending to the sides like Vs. The pose was painful for Anneliese to look at. “Arguing your case would have harmed your standing, in my opinion. When great emotion is involved, I’ve noted that disagreement only makes each side entrench itself more in its beliefs. Insisting you are innocent of wrongdoing may have made those opposing you certain of your guilt.”
Anneliese set the unwanted tea on a shelf. “Do you think I should run off with my tail between my legs? Let them think the worst of me until they talk themselves into believing it to be true? I’m not able to accept that.”
“Fighting is not the answer. I don’t understand how it can be.”
Anneliese stared at the woman. Salno sat there, serene and untroubled while the world crashed down around her.
Salno accused Anneliese of picking fights, while Salno ignored the battles that should be fought. And why shouldn’t she? The warriors would march off to fight to maintain her safety, risking death to protect her. Men who now argued to remain at Cas instead of racing to Yitrow’s rescue.
All to keep her safe and secure. Fighting for the rest is what a soldier does. How can she not see that? It’s like she’s being willfully blind. Refusing to see what’s right in front of her.
It was more than Anneliese could take, especially with pain riding her so hard. Shaking her head in disbelief, she said, “Nex, take me to your home, please.”
A line appeared in the yellow of the bridge of Salno’s nose. “You should stay here, near the medical facility.”
Fortunately, Nex agreed it was time to go. He set his cup next to Anneliese’s and stood. “It’s all right. I’m a medic, remember? She’ll be fine at my dome.”
“You are unhappy with me,” Salno said to Anneliese. Her voice held a note of dejection.
Anneliese ignored a throb of conscience at having hurt Salno, retreating behind her own offense. “Yes, I am. But to show how reasonable I can be, I’m leaving before you give me any more motivation to tell you off.”
Let her meditate on that.
Chapter Fifteen
Nex grimaced the entire minute he flew Anneliese in the dartwing to his dome. He couldn’t help but wince at the pain she must be in, squashed within his vehicle’s confines. His assumption was proven when they reached their destination. She hissed in pain as he extracted her from the craft. He winced in sympathy and mumbled soothing noises, as if anything would help.
Mindful of jarring her knee, he carried her into his bright and cheerful sunlit home. Her forehead creased in a scowl, and his own stubborn streak rose. Anneliese would take it easy until her body recovered. He vowed to himself that he’d tie her down if that was what it took. Which, in any case, wasn’t such a bad idea.
With that in mind, he told her, “You must rest. No argument.”
“Or what? You’ll muzzle me?” Her tone strove to be lighthearted, but her dark eyes held a challenge.
Nex narrowed his gaze at her. He cautioned himself against reminding her of what was best, since she already knew. He believed a lot of her angst came from the pain she was in.
He lay her in his bed. Using his most diplomatic tone to give her the measure of authority she craved, he said, “You know what works best when the hurt gets bad. Tell me what will make you as comfortable as possible.”
She set the pillows against the iron railing at the head. “More of these, please. I need to prop up my back to about a 45-degree angle. I also have to elevate my knee.”
Nex went around his dome, collecting pillows and cushions from chairs and benches. While he did so, he gathered other things. Those items he kept hidden from Anneliese. He managed to drop them by the bed out of her sightline as she claimed the pillows she needed from him. The edge of the linens puddled on the floor, and he kicked his surprises beneath them as he helped her arrange her supports. She settled in. Though she made no sound or overt indication, Nex noted that some of the lines on her face eased. He relaxed. She’d found some relief.
To make sure, Nex said, “Is that good?”
“As good as it’s going to get without heavier pain meds.” Anneliese smiled at him.
“I do wish they’d allowed something stronger than just to take the edge off.” He grew an extra thumb and used it to rub gently between her brows where a line of tension remained.
She brushed his jaw with the back of her hand. The simple but sweet contact warmed Nex’s chest. She said, “I’ll try to keep the whining to a minimum. Thanks for bringing me here, Nex. I adore Salno, but she’s just so different from me. I didn’t want to wreck things by losing control of my frustration with her.”
“She has a point, but it was not the time to make it. No one wants to hear any argument, sound or not, when they’re in physical agony.”
“Am I unreasonable? For wanting to help find out what is going on with my people and th
e Monsuda?” Anneliese’s jaw was set, as if to say she was sure she was not in the wrong. Nex saw concern in her gaze, however.
“I find it understandable. However, you do have an aggressive style of debate that will not win you support. Salno has that part correct.”
Anneliese scowled. “I don’t know if I can be any other way.”
“With people like mine, you need to find a way. Particularly with the women.”
“Ehar most of all, since she rules the roost.” Anneliese huffed impatiently. “Which I respect, but I can’t have people running over me.”
“Even if it’s for your own benefit?”
Her gaze shifted. She didn’t answer him, choosing to test another front. “It sounds as if we don’t have long to figure this stuff out. What’s the name of that place that’s calling for help?”
“Yitrow.”
“Yeah, the seat of your government, right? We should discover what’s what before they come under attack.”
“We the Risnarish should,” Nex corrected in a mild tone. “You, however, have to take the time to heal.”
She laughed disbelievingly. “Weh. You say it like it’s such an easy thing to do.”
“It is. Relax. Rest. I’ll do the heavy lifting for you.”
Anneliese shook her head. “I’ve always been tough. Independent. Able to take care of myself and others.”
“What’s wrong with letting others take care of you every now and then? Why is it okay for you to look after those weaker than you, but not okay to allow those who are stronger to return the favor?” Impatience began to infect Nex. Had Jeannie ever been this difficult for Kren?
Anneliese quirked a half-smile at him. “I never said my mindset made sense. It’s just who I am.”
Nex drew a breath. “You don’t need to let someone support you once in a while? You don’t wish to experience the level of trust that would allow you to feel secure with someone?”
To give her credit, she paused to consider his question. As stubborn as she was, Anneliese did stop to think things through sometimes.
At length, she admitted, “It would be nice, I suppose.”
“I can trust you to be the strength I might need. I’d like it if I could be that for you too. An equal partnership.”
She looked at him with unhappy want. Her words were not what Nex wanted to hear. “I need to be strong. When I’m this way, when my body gives out, I’m not anymore. I hate being dependent.”
“Even on me?” Nex wanted desperately to believe she might give a little, let him in just an inch.
Anneliese smiled apologetically. “Especially on you, but not because you’ll view me as less than equal. In your case, I feel as if I’m taking advantage of a very kind person.”
Was it an opening? Nex hoped so. “You’re not taking advantage of me. I want you to start trusting that I like taking care of you.” He decided the moment for words had slipped by, that continuing to speak of the matter would only leave them talking in circles. Action was called for. He abruptly asked, “When was the last time you ate?”
She looked relieved that he had decided to drop the subject of her resistance. “This morning. It was pretty early too.”
“I will make us both a meal. Stay here. Relax.”
“Yes, fine.”
Nex gave her a severe look in response to her petulance. She rolled her eyes. He suppressed a sigh and went to the kitchen. Anneliese’s harsh independence was a wall between them, a barrier he would have to push past. Not just for his own sake. Not for the sake of a relationship that admittedly probably didn’t have much longer.
For her own sake. Anneliese needed people she could rely on. She needed to be close enough to others so they could prove themselves worthy to lean on. Sooner or later, she’d have no choice but to put her faith in others. Everyone had those occasions when being self-sufficient wasn’t an option.
Not to mention, living as she did was too damned lonely.
His thoughts buzzed around the issue as he put together their simple but filling meal. Anneliese would turn argumentative again sooner or later. It had become ingrained in her personality. The trick was to show her the habit needed to be broken. While Nex had no illusions about her miraculously losing the need to pick fights and hold him at an arm’s length, he did want her to work on not shortchanging her life.
He wouldn’t get through with constant nagging. She needed positive reinforcement. Nex grinned at the items he’d left next to the bed, the ways he could use them to help her want to adjust her attitude.
He headed to his bed area with their lunch trays. The second he passed the partition that separated the area from all but the center of the dome, he saw Anneliese was gone. The depression in the mattress showed where she’d been lounging, a slight shape of her lithe, graceful frame still evident in the giving surface.
Nex turned and scanned the rest of the dome. He didn’t have to look hard or for more than half a second. The door to the one entirely enclosed room opened, and Anneliese came out. Nex set down the trays and hurried to meet her halfway between the bedroom and lavatory as she hopped and gimped with a grimace.
He’d wanted an excuse to show her a good reason to rely on him. A reason to show her that absolute surrender wasn’t an awful thing with someone she could trust. It looked as if she had just given that purpose to him.
Anneliese was quick to tell him, “I had to use the facilities. When nature calls, you answer it.”
He reached her and picked her up. “When nature calls, you let me know so I can help you.” He went toward the bed with her in his arms.
She snickered, with no idea of the trouble she was in. “Look, I appreciate the sentiment, but there are some things I don’t care to be that personal with.”
Nex got her in the bed and helped her get arranged once more to be comfortable. He contemplated his next steps with a clinical aspect. He would have to be careful, given the pain of her leg. That pain, which he and she both hated, would assist him in holding her in place.
As he assessed the situation, he told her, “I will carry you to the lavatory. I will carry you wherever you need to go. There is no shame in that.” With her settled in, he moved his attention to the objects he’d hidden beneath the linens draped over the floor.
Blissfully unaware of what was coming, Anneliese protested, “For heaven’s sake, it was only a few yards away. I—Hey! What the hell are you doing?”
Nex had grabbed her wrist. Moving fast, he took an older utility belt, wrapped it around her wrists, and tied them to the railings behind her head. Anneliese flailed, but as he’d hoped, she was careful to keep her injured leg immobile. The other, however, she kicked at him. He extended a tail from the base of his spine and pinned the still-strong and dangerous limb down.
He said, “Your refusal to accept help is placing your wellbeing at risk. So I am insisting on your cooperation from now on.”
“You can’t—this isn’t fair!”
Nex had her immobilized. “I don’t care. Enough is enough, especially when it comes to your physical health.”
They stared at each other. Anneliese’s face was filled with confusion, anger, and fear. Those emotions, particularly the hint of alarm, made Nex want to comfort her. He had the idea that gentleness might be misplaced. Anneliese needed to know Nex meant it when he told her to stay put.
He picked up the tray of food he’d prepared for their lunches. “I will feed you. You will eat. If you refuse out of foolish stubbornness, I will take you to the temple. The doctors there will provide your nutrients through other means.”
Nex wasn’t sure if he could go that far, but he pretended he would. He needed Anneliese to believe in his resolve. If he let her run all over him now, he feared she’d never give her leg the opportunity it needed to recover properly.
He was startled when she wavered. For a few seco
nds, she stared at him with a vulnerability that threatened to crumble his hearts into pieces. An openness, coupled with a look of unguarded faith in him.
Then the old Anneliese returned, sharpening the edges of her features and stiffening her spine. Nex readied for a fight, but she didn’t offer one. Instead, she admitted grudging defeat. “Fine. Feed me. Just don’t be surprised if I bite your fingers off.”
“I’ll grow new ones.” He tried to keep his tone light. After all, she’d given up the argument. Nonetheless, he experienced a stab of disappointment that a sense of trust no longer emanated from her.
Oh well, he’d take the victories where he could. Trust would develop with time. If they had that luxury.
Nex fed her. Anneliese pouted but ate without struggle, especially when hunger got the better of her. After a few bites, the reluctant acceptance of food became eagerness. Her pique with his heavy-handed methods disappeared.
She didn’t try to bite him either. “You’re a jerk, but man, can you ever serve up some grade-A chow.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Little by little, Nex relaxed. Round one was almost over, and he’d prevailed.
Anneliese underscored his assessment, eating every bite of her lunch. She sighed with a slight smile as Nex blotted her lips with a napkin. She didn’t complain as he tilted a cup of water to her lips, though he noted a malicious sparkle in her eyes. He had no doubt she intended for him to pay later for overcoming her. That she could do so, he had no doubts. He was hoping she’d forgive and forget after enjoying what he had planned next for her.
At odds with that evil glint in her eyes, Anneliese smiled sweetly and spoke in a soft tone. “Okay, I’ve been a good girl. How about untying me now?”
Nex chuckled and kissed her cheek. “Not yet. I’m going to eat my meal, and I’d like to do it in peace. I’ve got a sneaky suspicion you’ve got revenge on your mind.”
Anneliese pulled at the strap securing her arms. The pretense of conciliation disappeared as her face darkened in anger. “You let me out of this, or I swear I’ll beat you like your momma should have!”
Worlds Apart (Warriors of Risnar) Page 19