“I have plenty, my sister, and thank you for having a good heart.”
Hanmani could not resist exchanging smiles with him before leaving. She was glad she had spoken her final words to him, for they seemed to make him happy. Perhaps if they became friends, even false ones if he was a trickster, he would tell her things he might not tell the others.
As Chase lay on his bedroll and placed an arm across his full stomach, he told himself that maybe he should be careful of what he ate. Probably nothing would please Winona more than for him to be resting on a death scaffold instead of on the grass outside her husband’s camp and within his visual range. But why shouldn’t she hate and resent the bastard child of her husband with another woman, a white woman, one of the enemy? his troubled mind shouted.
Immediately he scolded himself for that wicked thought, as Winona had tended him for a year after his mother’s death: she had made, washed, and repaired his clothes; she had fed him; she had tended him when he was sick; she had allowed him to play with her own children; and she had not forced Rising Bear to send him away. She had not even asked his father to do so, to his knowledge. However, his heart cried, she had never embraced him; she had never spoken unnecessary words to him; and she had not even tried to comfort him—a small child—following his mother’s death.
Yet, perhaps Winona had feared him in some way, feared he would draw Rising Bear’s attention and affection away from her children, feared his presence would always be a reminder to Rising Bear of the night he had shared on his mat with the beautiful Omaste and also be a reminder to their people of the chief’s one display of weakness. To be fair to the woman, he must remember what she had endured during her captivity with the fierce Pawnee. The woman must have suffered unspeakable torment under enemy hands. Then, to return to her own home to discover a bastard child in her tepee and her own son adoring the white woman who had lived in her place for two years— that would be painful for any wife and mother. Chase told himself to be understanding, patient, and compassionate where Winona was concerned; but still he must be wary of her.
As he lay on his back, he gazed upward at an almost fully black moon and had only the glow of a small fire nearby to provide scant light for his solitary setting. He had been back for only one day and had made contact with each of his old family members except Winona. Perhaps he hadn’t done badly with such a difficult task in such a short span of time. Then, again, he was certain he wasn’t trusted, as he sensed eyes upon him and no doubt was being guarded. He felt vulnerable without his weapons, but he did have his knife within easy reach.
As he heard movement nearby, he thought surely Two Feathers would not attempt to kill him, even with the hope an enemy would be blamed. As was their custom for someone under the protection of their leader, his cousin would be risking much to harm or slay him. At least he didn’t have to pass the night bound to a post or staked to the ground! When he sighted two deer approaching the river to drink, he knew what had made those sounds.
Stop jawing with your shadow and get to sleep, Chase! he scolded himself. You need your rest and clear wits for what lies ahead. Close your eyes and think about something pleasant and maybe you’ll have good dreams for a change.
Soon, Chase—Cloud Chaser—Martin slumbered almost peacefully as he dreamed of a beautiful and desirable Indian maiden who danced and sang through a verdant and dense forest and summoned him onward with her smiles and finger motions while she stayed just out of his reach.
The following morning, Hanmani returned as promised to bring him food and to fetch the bowl from last night. “Hau, tanksi. Anpetu waste.”
“Han, anpetu waste. Ota wayata he?” She agreed it was a good day and asked if he had enough to eat as she placed his meal atop the log.
“Han, pilamaya,” he thanked her, observing how she concealed her communication with him from others by keeping her back toward camp. He quickly asked, “Who is the female who does her chores with you? I saw you two together when I arrived and working together last night.”
Hanmani was surprised that was the person he chose to ask about during their short time together, as Macha also was greatly interested in her alleged brother. She replied in a hurry as she pretended to reposition the new bowl atop the log to prevent it from falling off, “She is Dawn, my best friend. She was six when you vanished. She played with you as children. Do you not remember her?”
“Perhaps that is why she seems familiar to me,” he cunningly muttered as if to himself. He deduced she was using her wits and daring behavior to extract clues from him, so “accidentally” revealing a “secret” to her might win her over; and he was convinced she wouldn’t repeat it and expose her defiance. “I thought it was because she favored the Indian maiden in the strange and powerful dream which called me home.”
As she collected the dirty bowl, Hanmani glanced over at him where he sat on the ground and asked, “You saw Dawn in your vision-dream?”
“I do not know if it truly was her, but it seems that way to me. That is strange, is it not, tanksi, to dream of a female and then to see her?”
For an inexplicable reason, Hanmani’s heart raced with excitement to be entrusted with a sacred secret. She yearned to hear more. Yet, she could linger there no longer. “The Great Spirit often works in mysterious ways, tiblo. I must go now. I will bring you more wood and food later on this sun.”
“Ake wancinyankin ktelo.” He told her good-bye and that he would see her again. After she departed, he grinned in delight, for she had called him her older brother and he had discovered the enchanting beauty’s identity.
He assumed Macha had been born at dawn, for it was the custom to take a child’s name after an occurrence or sighting at the time of delivery from a mother’s womb or after something cherished in nature if nothing unusual took place at that awesome moment. His mother had given him an Indian name to make him acceptable to his father’s people, though her generous and cunning attempt had obviously failed. He wondered if his childhood name would be changed when he had his next vision-quest, for he had not been here when that ritual age took place.
Chase closed his eyes, called forth the vivid image from memory, and compared the dream woman to Macha. There was no denying or ignoring the fact that he had not lied to his sister. The dream woman and Dawn were either the same female or matched in looks and smiles down to the smallest detail. But how could he dream about a stranger, for Macha only slightly favored the little girl who played with him as a child? Either it was an odd coincidence, an evil force playing a wicked trick on him, or a message from the Creator. But which was it and what did it mean? Was she a good or bad omen?
In the forest while gathering plants and scrub wood, Macha halted her task and stared at her best friend, who had just related a stunning revelation. “Your brother asked about me? Why? What did he say? You were told not to speak with him. You disobeyed. If others learn of your defiance, you will be punished and kept away from him.”
Hanmani also glanced around to assure herself of privacy as Macha had done before her rush of words. “I was careful and swift, so no one saw me speak with him,” she whispered. “He is lonely and uncertain and he seeks a friend, so he might tell me many secrets he would not share with others. Perhaps I will be the one to learn if he is good or bad, if he is to be a curse or a blessing to us. Surely there is some powerful reason why he was sent to us at this dangerous time for our people, be it by the Great Spirit or an Evil One. You are my best and most trusted friend, so you will not betray my actions.” She repeated her talk with Cloud Chaser and watched Macha’s gaze widen with the same astonishment which had filled her.
“How can a man dream about a woman far away?” Macha unknowingly almost echoed Chase’s query to himself.
“I do not know, my friend, but I believe he spoke the truth.”
“Why did he reveal such a secret to you? Perhaps it is a trick,” Macha suggested, though she hoped that was not so, as such a falsehood would get him killed, or at least banish
ed forever. From a place deep within her, she wanted him to stay. For some inexplicable and irresistible reason she was drawn to him, had been drawn to him even when they were children.
“Perhaps he trusts me fully, Dawn. Or perhaps his gnawing hunger to learn your name was too painful to resist,” she added.
“You tease me, Hanmani; that is unlike you.”
“I do not mean to act badly, my friend. I am just ensnared by this mystery. Is it not exciting to be part of a sacred vision-dream?”
“If that is what Cloud Chaser had,” Macha replied with a frown.
“If it is true, my friend, what do you think it means?”
“I do not know, Hanmani, and that ignorance is frightening.”
“Do not be afraid, my friend, for the Great Spirit will protect you. Do you not remember how He protected Dewdrops when Wastemna tried to either slay or force her to leave after she joined to my brother? Wastemna was exposed and banished and was fortunate she was not slain for her evil.”
“She was caught because you and Wind Dancer guessed her evil and exposed it. Will you help protect me if evil strikes at me through Cloud Chaser or the man who claims to be him?”
“I will stay alert and will help you if danger comes, but I am sure if any evil strikes at you, it will not come from my brother who has returned to us. The man you must fear and avoid is my cousin. I do not know why, but I sense Two Feathers has a wicked and cruel streak. I am certain you have captured his eye as a good mate, and that worries me. He has made his hatred and rejection of Cloud Chaser clear to me and others. He challenged my brother to a death fight with knives before War Eagle and Swift Otter on the past sun. Father ordered him to stay away from my brother.”
Panicked by that dark news, Macha asked in a quavering voice, “Do you think Two Feathers will obey our chief’s command?”
“He must, Dawn, or he will be punished, perhaps banished forever. That action would sadden my father, my cousin’s parents, and my brothers. It would bring great shame and dishonor to my cousin and his family.”
“Such risks did not halt Wastemna from trying to harm Dewdrops, and her cruel deceit almost succeeded. If our past war chief’s daughter had obtained her dark victory, our people would have lost a great female warrior in Dewdrops, a true Vision Woman, one who rode with Wind Dancer on the sacred and dangerous Vision Journey which saved our people from much harm and gained us peace until the treaty was broken by all who signed it.”
Hanmani nodded, but added, “Wastemna was daring and foolish, for she was blinded by love and desire for Wind Dancer.”
“Is not Two Feathers blinded by hatred and fear of Cloud Chaser and a fierce desire to have him dead or gone?” Macha reasoned.
Hanmani frowned. “That is true, my friend, but I hope he clears his eyes and cleanses his mind and heart of such evil.” She smiled and changed directions. “What if you are a new Vision Woman like Dewdrops was long ago? She came to Wind Dancer in a sacred vision and he rode to her camp to claim her. They were joined and they did many great tasks for the good of our people. What if Cloud Chaser’s dream is a sacred one, you will join to him, and do greats deeds for us?” the young girl said on a flight of fancy.
“I am not a female warrior as Dewdrops was. What could I do to help our people? I cannot trick and fight our enemies as she did.”
“I have not forgotten how she doubted and resisted Wind Dancer’s vision. It was proven to be a message from Wakantanka and she obeyed it. She and Wind Dancer share great love and happiness, and a son. She is honored and loved by our people. Perhaps that is Cloud Chaser’s destiny.”
“Or perhaps Cloud Chaser learned of that vision and claims he had a sacred dream to trick us,” Macha refuted, but did not believe her words. It was both exhilarating and intimidating to even imagine such a.destiny.
“No one knows of that vision except our people and Dewdrops’, the White Shield Brules. Such a dream is powerful medicine, Dawn. It is a message from the Great Spirit; it cannot be disobeyed. If it is the Creator’s will for your Life-Circle to be entwined with Cloud Chaser’s, you must not resist traveling that path, though it may frighten you at times.”
“We speak of things which might not be real, Hanmani, so we must silence our tongues for now. We must tell no one of his dream.”
“Have you forgotten news of it was spoken by Cloud Chaser and my grandfather on the past sun when he entered our camp?”
“But my appearance in his dream was not revealed.”
“That is true, so we will tell no one what we have learned about it. Do strange and new feelings for him fill your mind, heart, and body?”
“Yes, but I do not understand them and they disquiet me. I must push them away, for they are forbidden and hopeless.”
“Only if Cloud Chaser is rejected by our people. What if he is not?”
“But what if he is, Hanmani? Such feelings can only bring me pain and sadness. I must not yield to them until he is one of us, if that sun rises.”
“Has that sun not already shown its face, my friend?”
“No, Hanmani. He is here now, but will he stay or be allowed to do so? Perhaps he will give up his struggle for acceptance and ride away. Perhaps he will be banished, for many mistrust him. Perhaps some evil force will drive him away so he cannot help us in the way Wakantanka desires.”
“There is no power greater than the Creator’s, my friend.”
“If that is true, Hanmani, why do His people suffer and die at the hands of both White and Indian enemies? Why does He allow our lands and animals, His creations, to be destroyed and misused?”
“Evil does exist, my friend, and it is powerful, but the Great Spirit will conquer it. Has the Great One not always brought us through dark times?”
“Yes, and it is wicked of me to show such doubts and weakness. I do not know what causes my bad behavior on this sun.”
“It is the confusing and wonderful news I revealed to you,” Hanmani suggested, “and the perils Cloud Chaser faces before him. And your hunger for him plays a large part as well.”
“How can I feel such things for him when we are strangers?”
“I do not know, Dawn, for love and desire are unknown to me.”
Love and desire wafted across Macha’s troubled mind as the summer wind blew across the Lakota Plains, bending grasses and wildflowers to its potent will as perhaps those feelings would bend her to the will of Cloud Chaser.
Chase sat cross-legged on his bedroll as he ate the food Hanmani had brought to him this morning. He had been camped there alone for a week, and only his half-sister had approached him to serve him meals and to bring him wood for his fire at night, one to provide light during the New Moon’s dark span. He speculated that maybe his patience, determination, temperament, and obedience were being tested by this enforced seclusion. He certainly didn’t want to do anything that would be judged as a flaw or sign of guilt, such as stalking into their camp and demanding to speak with his father or leaving his site without permission.
During the past seven days, he had enjoyed quick and secret words with Hanmani, who continued to conceal from others her communications with him. He had learned a little more about his family and recent events from her, but stolen moments didn’t allow enough time for gleaning many facts. Yet, he was convinced she believed his claims and had come to like, respect, and accept him. If only, he fretted, others would do the same.
He had observed Macha furtively as she had done her daily chores, and the hunger to speak to her and get to know her had grown stronger each day. He could not explain or understand his powerful attraction to her, but it existed and heightened steadily. He had taken great pleasure in hearing her alluring voice, in watching her radiant and easy smile, in following her graceful movements, in seeing the sun almost glisten on her shiny black hair, in trailing his tawny gaze over her lovely features-and supple body. He wondered what she would think and how she would feel about his romantic interest in her, if he ever revealed it, or if Hanman
i had done so. Would she find it flattering and pleasing, or repulsive and unwanted? Could Macha ever be receptive to a half-breed, an outsider? Even if she returned his feelings for her one day, would her parents and their people permit a joining between them? He doubted it, and should not even be daydreaming along that line. Thoughts of romance, love, and marriage had not entered his mind before arriving there; and this absolutely was not the time for him to be distracted by such ideas.
One thing he should concentrate on instead was his cousin. He had seen Two Feathers halt several times during the week to glare at him, and he had merely stared back to show he wasn’t being intimidated. He had watched his brothers and their small parties leave to go on hunting and scouting rides, and he had yearned to join them. He hoped his horse was being well tended. The band stayed busy with preparation tasks; soon they would depart for the Plains and their buffalo hunt, and he wondered if he would be allowed to go with them. Or, Chase mused, would he be ordered to leave the area or be slain?
He had tried to pass the time reading portions of James Fenimore Cooper’s The Deerslayer and the Martins’ family Bible, both of which he had packed in his saddlebag. But he was becoming edgy, frustrated, and vexed by his coerced seclusion.
As Wind Dancer retrieved his bow and quiver from his weapon’s stand, Chumani asked, “What will happen on this sun, my husband?”
Wind Dancer gazed at his beloved Dewdrops, who held their child in her arms. “Only the Great Spirit knows, my wife,” he said. As he tousled the dark hair on his two-year-old son’s head, he disclosed, “I go to carry out Grandfather’s cunning plan to uncover the truth. Before this sun passes, the decision could be made on whether Cloud Chaser lives or dies.”
“This task is hard and painful for you,” she remarked knowingly as she looked into his sad and worried gaze.
Lakota Dawn Page 5