by Jenna Baker
*****
At home, I ran into the bathroom to throw some stuff together. I packed some makeup, a toothbrush, and a hairbrush and then yelped when I saw my orange skin reflected in the mirror. “Huh!” I looked like I had just come out of a mud-wrestling pit. I knew I didn’t have time, but I jumped in the shower anyway and washed the orange stuff off. It smelled terrible, and I was happy to be rid of it. My Friday underpants had turned orange so I swapped them out for a pair of Saturdays. They weren’t fashionable, but they were damn comfortable. I hurried out of the shower and took a look at my reflection. I was still orange, but it was a little more subtle. I threw on some clothes and grabbed an overnight bag. I packed a light jacket, a set of baggy two-piece pajamas, and a change of clothes for the morning. I was finished in less than ten minutes and was zipping my bag closed when I heard my phone ring.
I expected it to be the guys telling me they were outside, but it was Lenny. “Sharpe, you can’t leave me hanging like that. I need to know what’s going on,” Lenny said in my ear.
“Sorry about that – I had a busy morning. We’re heading down to the border in a few minutes to do a stakeout. We need to catch Kitt on tape before we can haul him in. We don’t know if he killed Chaser, but if we have something on him maybe we can get him to squeal.”
“Do you need backup down there? Missy’s crew just wrapped up their gang-bang case.”
“No!” I said, a little too forcefully. “Lenny, it’s a stakeout – not a party. The fewer people the better.”
“Your sister’s wedding is on Sunday – are you sure you can get this wrapped up before then?”
I had forgotten that Lenny was a guest. Lenny and my mom met when she was doing some field reporting for LA Incorporated. They struck up a conversation, and she had used him to score me some gigs throughout the years.
“I hope so,” I said. I saw that Foxy was beeping in on my other line. “Listen, I gotta go. I’ll keep you posted.” I hung up with Lenny and clicked over to Foxy. “I’ll be right out.” I swung my overnight bag over my shoulder and headed for the door.
Outside, I saw that Foxy was in the driver’s seat. Reid opened the passenger door and stepped out.
“You can take the front if you want,” Reid said.
“Whoa, are you developing a soul or something?” I asked.
“Actually, I just wanted to stretch out in the back and take a nap. Is that okay?” Reid asked.
I nodded and he jumped in the back. I knocked on the trunk and Foxy popped it. I threw my bag inside and hopped in the passenger’s seat.
“Orange you glad we’re here?” Foxy joked, taking another shot at my spray tan, which had faded but not disappeared.
“Wow, a comedian and a chauffeur? You’re the whole package.”
Foxy held up his left hand and showed me his wedding ring. “Sorry, Sharpe, you’re a couple years too late.”
“Come on, Foxy, what happens at the border stays at the border.”
“That was gonna be Reid’s line. I guess you beat him to it.”
Reid was sprawled out in the back seat lying on his back. He punched the back of Foxy’s seat, then covered his eyes with his arm and snoozed. Foxy put the car in gear, and we headed off to dangers unknown.
I dialed Mac’s number and checked in. “Where are you?”
“Heading south on the 405 now. We’ve probably got a fifteen-minute jump on you.”
“Is the tracking device working okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, so far our friend hasn’t left the house. The device will start beeping if he moves, and we’ll know it.”
“Okay. Your batteries are charged, you have enough tape stock, and all that, right?” I asked.
“Yes, boss. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know.”
“Yeah, but this is your first stakeout and I want you to be ready.”
“Actually, this is the third stakeout I’ve done. The first was for a Shame on You segment on News Eleven…”
I held the phone away from my ear and rolled my eyes.
“And the second was in Australia. We were stalking an animal so I don’t know if you would call it a stakeout officially, but...”
“Okay, Mac!” I said, cutting him off. “Thank you, I get it. Just make sure everything is ready, okay?”
We drove south down the 405 Freeway, and before long, I could hear Reid snoring in the back. Snoring was something I found particularly annoying. When I was a kid, my parents would take us on my mother’s press tours and we would all share a hotel room. Ginny and I would share one bed and my parents would share the other. It was always a race to fall asleep before my dad so that we didn’t have to endure the snoring. My mother said that snoring was actually one of the reasons she decided to divorce him. I remember one time I decided to sleep in the hotel bathtub because it was quieter. My father got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and boy, did I scare the hell out of him! Reid’s deep, gurgling snores brought me right back to those early hotel days.
“Pump the brakes or something so he rolls over,” I said to Foxy.
“He only gets like this when he’s really tired,” Foxy said.
“Do you two sleep together often?” I asked.
Foxy thought a moment. “It’s weird that I know that, huh? My wife calls him ‘the other woman’ because I spend more time with him than her.”
Reid let out a loud sniffle and choked on it.
“Uggh, disgusting,” I said.
“Is this giving you second thoughts about that what happens on the border, stays on the border thing?”
“Big time.”
Foxy pumped the brakes hard. “Hey Reid, shut up back there!”
Reid jumped up, his face red from his arm resting on it. “Huh, what?”
“You were snoring, dude. Sharpe’s not gonna do you if you’re a snorer, okay?”
I punched Foxy in the arm.
“You keep doing that and it’s gonna leave a mark,” he told me.
“Then shut your mouth already!”
Reid dropped his head back down and fell asleep. He looked so peaceful resting in the back seat until he started snoring again. I turned the radio on and tried to tune him out.