She was fudging all kinds of truth, but she wasn’t about to tell these people that she was penniless and living on the ranch at her brother’s behest. “And since I didn’t know a single thing about raising cattle or horses, I decided that with its location and beauty it would be the perfect spa.”
“Yes, you always did love spas, didn’t you?” Renee asked. Victoria stared at her, longing to spitefully remind her of all the weekends they’d spent together, wrapped in towels, gossiping beside pools. She wanted to remind Renee of how at Canyon Ranch she’d cried in Victoria’s arms after the miscarriages and again after her husband’s affair.
Renee looked away as if finally she remembered too, and Victoria stood a little taller in her cheap boots.
“You always liked the mud,” Jamie said, smiling.
“Like a pig,” Elizabeth sneered.
The table froze, even the kids stared, and someone gasped.
Me, she realized, sick to her stomach. I gasped.
Elizabeth must have stepped over some line Renee had established, because she got the evil eye from her lord and master.
“I think perhaps Elizabeth has had enough,” Renee said through her teeth to Elizabeth’s husband.
Gary, who was used to this—both his wife’s public drunkenness and being bossed around by Renee—sighed and gathered his sloppy wife from the table, leading her through the dining room to their room.
Victoria could feel the eye of every guest charting their progress. She could only imagine what the feedback cards would say.
“Where’s Jacob?” Renee asked, and Liam finally looked up from his video game.
“He’s at camp,” she said.
“Sleepaway camp?” Renee asked, her plucked-to-shit eyebrows so high up on her forehead that they vanished into her bangs. “That’s not like you. Aren’t you worried he’ll catch something?”
“He’s much stronger than he was last year,” she said. And so am I. But where is that strength now? Where is it when I need it so badly?
These women, the past they brought back, brought her to her knees.
“But still.” Jamie leaned in. “Wouldn’t you just feel sick if something happened?”
Yes, she thought, panic immediately running through her system like lightning. I would. I would feel terrible. I should never have sent him. What a mistake I made!
Her old self was waking up from whatever dream state she’d been in, and Victoria struggled to knock her back out.
“It’s fine,” she said, forcing herself to remember that she actually believed that. “He’s fine.”
Jamie shrugged as if she had her doubts and Victoria took a deep breath, wondering where all the oxygen had gone.
“I was looking forward to a couple rounds of golf,” Bill said.
She sucked a breath through her teeth. There was no golf course attached to the spa. They’d made that clear in all the promotional materials. Of course, they’d also made it clear that it was an adults-only spa.
Renee knew all too well how a spa experience could be ruined for every other guest.
“The nearest course is south quite a ways, but if you have rental cars—”
“We took a limo from the airport, Victoria,” Renee said as if she were a child.
Great. Wonderful.
“That’s not a problem; we’ll be able to get you there.”
Somehow. Three men and all their golf clubs. It would be a tight fit in the Cadillac. And they all frowned at her as if they knew that.
“Well, like I said, we’re delighted you’re here and if there are any problems, be sure to let me know.”
She turned to leave, ready to find some dark corner to grow back her shell, but Renee grabbed her wrist, her fingernails digging into Victoria’s skin.
“You don’t get to have this,” Renee hissed in her ear. “You don’t get to walk away from what you did. I will ruin you like you ruined us.”
Victoria was frozen, paralyzed by guilt and fear and the terrible reality that Renee wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t right, but she wasn’t totally wrong.
“Is there a problem?” Celeste asked, coming to the table with a serene smile on her face, the perfect hostess.
Renee dropped Victoria’s hand but the damage was done. The old wounds were opened and the poison had filled her blood.
Yes, Victoria thought, I am the problem. I have always been the problem.
chapter
24
Eli parked his truck out front of the ranch like he always did. Ruby’s phone message had been cryptic and he’d gotten back there as fast as he could. But he’d been a hundred miles away at Los Camillos, where he’d been hired to train some rodeo studs while he waited for his mares to give birth.
Climbing up the steps, he was struck as he always was by how they’d managed to turn such an ugly building into something so arresting. So positively beautiful.
But that was the power of Victoria. Look what she’d done to him. He felt totally transformed by her. A new man stood on this porch.
At her urging, he’d called Uncle John in Galveston. Only left a message, but still, he’d reached out. Now they were playing phone tag. But he wouldn’t have called in the first place without Victoria.
The front door opened and she slipped out, his belt buckle at her waist gleaming in the twilight. He liked that on her. Liked it a lot.
“Hey, babe, what’s—”
“I need you to go home,” she said.
He blinked. “But Ruby said there was some kind of problem—”
“There isn’t.”
All right, he was no Sherlock Holmes, but Tori was acting very strange and all his instincts went on high alert.
The word love hadn’t been discussed again in all the weeks they’d been practically living together, sleeping together, and working together, but it was there on his side and he had a strong suspicion she felt it, too.
“Are you okay?”
“Very busy. You … should just go on home.” She stepped down to the next step and put her hand on his chest. Even through his shirt it felt cold. He put his hand over hers to warm it, to touch her, to connect in some way with this stranger in front of him.
“I want you to stay away all week.”
Now he laughed. He was supposed to help them get ready for that big party on Saturday and then, well, he had a suit in his closet. Brand-new. And he’d been planning on stepping into that party looking pretty slick with her on his arm.
“I’m serious.”
“You’re crazy. Come on, babe, tell me what’s going on.”
Through the open door of the ranch he heard someone call her name. Victoria stiffened.
“Just go.”
“Not until you tell me why.” Something was way wrong and he wasn’t leaving until he knew what it was.
“Look at you!” she cried. “You’re filthy. You’ve got mud on your boots, under your nails. There’s … blood on your shirt, Eli. You smell like shit. You can’t just walk in here like it’s still your ranch.”
He stepped backwards off the porch, getting some distance from her wildness. Her uncontrolled hostility.
He glanced down at his hands, the dirt he’d never even noticed.
“Just go,” she said, and then vanished back into the house. He heard her laugh through the door and put his hands in his pockets.
Too late to hide them, painfully unaware that he had to.
Celeste watched Victoria rest her head against the front door and was torn right down the middle. Part of her felt awful for Victoria, for the way Renee and her friends were leaching the joy right out of what should be a fabulously successful weekend.
The other part of her wanted to shake Victoria until she saw reason.
Either way, one thing was very clear. Left to her own devices, Victoria would roll over and play dead for those women, and Celeste wasn’t having that.
This was her spa, too.
“All right.” Celeste stepped into the foyer and Victori
a jerked herself upright. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head but we don’t have the time to figure it out.”
“What are you talking about?”
Celeste faltered for a moment when Victoria turned around. This was the old Victoria, wound too tight, pinched with insecurity and worry, plagued by the world’s poor opinion of her and her late husband. Bristling in defense of every single touch. No wonder she just kicked Eli off the ranch—in the face of that man’s love right now, she’d splinter.
“I’m handling the New York crowd,” Celeste said. “You handle the rest of the Saturday-night details.”
“Celeste, they came here for me.” Victoria sagged. “I can’t let you—”
Celeste laughed. “Please, Victoria, no one lets me do anything. I don’t give a shit who they’re here for; they’re not going to ruin this week, for any of our other guests or for you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re lying.” Celeste touched Victoria’s rigid shoulder, which only got more tense under her palm. “A lot of people who should have protected you have treated you badly over the years, Victoria. I will no longer be one of them. I will also not let you or anyone else jeopardize this week. Am I being clear?”
Victoria felt she should argue. She should explain to Celeste that the shock of seeing the women had worn off and she was ready to get back to work, but she felt fractured, burned-out. And she could not pull the pieces of herself back together.
She was acting on fear—just look at how she’d treated Eli. Acting like she was embarrassed of him, when in all honesty she was embarrassed of herself. Of these old friends of hers. Of who she used to be. She didn’t want him to see her like this, broken down by their viciousness.
He’d been startled by her words, hurt, each pointed insult finding a home in that soft heart of his.
Well, I certainly don’t have to worry about that love problem anymore, do I?
Celeste was right; she wasn’t making any sense. Her every instinct was to isolate herself with Renee and the rest of them, to push Celeste and Eli and Ruby away so they wouldn’t be affected by her failures.
And that wasn’t going to work. They had a spa full of people.
“Okay,” she breathed, and inwardly she rejoiced. The coward in her was relieved. The old her, scared and insecure, was delighted to give up control. To go right back into hiding. “You’re right, I’m … I’m not making good decisions.”
“Victoria!” Renee’s voice echoed down the hallway, and Victoria’s stomach clenched into a thousand little knots.
“Go,” Celeste said. “Help Ruby in the kitchen; I’ve got this.”
Victoria nodded, and like a scared little girl, she ran away.
“What exactly do you expect me to do?” Eli asked Ruby on Wednesday morning. He wiped the cream off Patience’s belly and pulled his hair away from her teeth, wincing when some caught. “She told me to stay away.”
And he had for two days now. Today he was going to paint the inside of his barn.
The inside.
All so he wouldn’t go charging down there like some … woman, demanding to know what was wrong.
“And you listened?”
“Christ!” He tossed the ultrasound wand and it clattered onto the cart. A thousand dollars’ worth of equipment and he didn’t give a shit. “I don’t know how these things work. She asked me to stay away and was pretty damn emphatic about it. I’m just trying to do what she wants.”
“Oh Lord, that woman is so turned around by those bitches, she doesn’t know what she wants.”
“What bitches?”
“Those friends of hers from New York—”
“Wait … her friends from New York came?”
“Well, you can’t really call them friends.”
“She wasn’t going to invite them.” Cannibalistic, she’d called them. They’d kicked her when she’d been as down as a person could get. They were at that ranch? Hurting her more?
“They saw the ad in the Times. They brought their kids. Their husbands. Golf bags. It’s a disaster. Celeste is handling them at the moment. Victoria’s working in the greenhouse, finishing up all the party details, but it’s getting strained around the spa.”
“What can I do?”
“We need someone to occupy the men and kids. Spas are no place for boys, and the whining is making everyone nuts. They need to do something. Get dirty.”
Well, hell. It was a ranch. There was plenty of stuff that needed doing, and most of it could get a kid dirty.
He checked his watch; he’d need to call in a few guys, a couple of favors. “I need you to call your dad and get some of his beer. Pack us a lunch. I’ll be there in an hour.”
When Victoria got back to the ranch after picking Jacob up at camp, the front yard was a dust cloud of activity and all she could think of was how Renee was going to complain about that.
“What’s going on?” Jacob asked, leaning over the dashboard.
Something terrible, no doubt. But then she saw Eli’s horse trailer and his truck.
And there, up on the porch, talking to Bill, was Eli.
Her body lost its skin. Its bones. She was a puddle of goo in the front seat of her father’s El Dorado. It had only been a couple days, but it had felt like years.
Eli looked so masculine up there talking to soft-handed Bill. He looked the way a man should look. A little rough, a little wild, but comfortable in his skin, his frayed denim.
I’m sorry I said those things to you, she thought. I love the way you smell and how hard you work, and how all of that has made you the man you are.
“Eli!” Jacob cried and flew out of the car.
Eli, her heart echoed, and she gathered herself as best she could before following her son.
“Hi there, Eli,” she said, sparing a glance for Bill, whose eyes seemed a little too interested in the low V of her T-shirt. The lace edge of the camisole was supposed to be down there somewhere making things modest, but it had gotten skewed in the car.
Eli noticed Bill’s attention and stood up a little straighter, his body brushing her arm, making her skin sizzle with awareness. With want.
“What’s … what’s going on?” She crossed her arms over her chest, pulling away from the contact. Eli’s face was all strange, his smile on crooked or something.
“Well, I’ve got those fifty head of cattle up on the high pasture. I need to get them down to the low pasture, and I heard you had a bunch of men here who might be able to help.”
She stared, gobsmacked. Was … was this a joke?
“See?” Bill pointed at Victoria’s face as if that was the proof he’d been waiting for. “I told you that was ridiculous.”
“I can help!” Jacob yelled. “I can totally help, can’t I, Mom?”
“I want to help, too!” Liam said, and the little circle of boys that had gathered around Jacob when he got out of that car all piped up, hands in the air as if they were waiting to be chosen for the horse-riding team.
“The more help the better.” Eli reached out and tousled Jacob’s hair, holding his head for a second. “Missed you, bud. How was camp?”
“Great. I learned how to canoe.”
“Good thing to learn. Can you teach me?”
“Yeah!”
Victoria shut her mouth, biting her tongue for composure.
“You can’t just take my son horseback riding,” Bill said. “He has no experience.”
“Dad!” Liam groaned.
“Well, you don’t, son. And I don’t know who the hell this man is.”
“He’s our neighbor,” Victoria jumped in, unwilling to listen to one negative thing come out of this man’s mouth about Eli. “And he’s a good man.”
Bill’s shrewd eyes narrowed on Victoria. “Excuse my bluntness, but your track record suggests you don’t know a good man from a crook.”
You’re right, she thought. You’re so right; I have no idea what I’m doing.
And she couldn�
�t even defend Eli, who was worth ten of Bill. That’s what a mess she was, how miserly her spirit.
Eli’s brows slammed down tight on his eyes and Victoria put her hand over his arm. The last thing she needed was for him to try defending her honor.
“Do you think I would do anything to put my son in danger?” she asked.
After a tense moment, Bill shook his head.
“It’s a nice safe trail up to the pasture, and the hands, Phil and Jerry, will do most of the work. Your boys will just need to hold on,” Eli said. “And if you don’t believe me, perhaps you should accompany your son.”
“Yeah!” Liam cried, and Victoria knew how starved these boys were for their fathers. The same way her son had been starved for his father, desperate with hunger for his time. For his attention. For scraps of affection. “Come on, Dad. Come. It will be awesome.”
It would take a heartless bastard to ignore the appeal in Liam’s eyes. Bill was a lot of things, but heartless wasn’t one of them. He smiled into his son’s beaming face.
“All right. Let me get Gary and Robert, and we’ll meet you back out here in ten minutes.”
“You’ll need sweatshirts or something,” Eli said. “It’s cold up there.”
Everyone ran into the house and Victoria turned to face him. Her heart, her body, her everything panted for him.
“What are you doing, Eli?” she asked.
“Well, Ruby said things were going pretty rough over here and since I’ve got a stake in this thing succeeding, I figured I ought to pull my weight.”
After all the things she’d said to him. After the way she’d treated him. Gratitude nearly choked her.
“Thank you.”
He looked into her eyes the way he always did, as if he were taking inventory of her heart, seeing what she needed. “You’re welcome.”
He touched her cheek and she sighed into his hand, took a moment with his touch, feeling all her shelves get restocked, all her broken pieces get reassembled.
She caught sight of Renee at the door and stepped away, her cheeks on fire.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Renee said, malicious delight coating her words.
“You’re not interrupting anything,” Victoria said clearly.
Can't Hurry Love Page 27