“Yes.” She nodded, and a trio of tears slid down her face.
“Well, trust me. The pig who died in that building wouldn't have done that for his wife, and I sure as hell wouldn't have done it for you if I wasn't so damn deep in love with you that the thought of losing you or seeing you hurt in any way was my ultimate nightmare.” He realized he'd come close to shouting and softened his voice. “I'd die for you, baby, over and over again. You know that.”
“Exactly.” The tears started streaming now. “You don't get it. I'm not just jealous, Jake. I know what sirens can do, and you're weak because of me.”
“What?”
“Because of me, you haven't had sex in so long… and if you go after that siren she'll snare you and you won't be able to fight off whoever is helping her.”
“Honey, I've went longer than a few months without sex before,” he said. “I'm not weak just because we haven't done anything. I'm strong, because I love you. That has nothing to do with sex. You of all people should know that.”
“Don't remind me,” she ground out, her tears ceasing as her eyes warmed with anger. “That part of me is dead.”
“I know, and I'm sorry. You know I don't ever want you to think of that.” He didn't want to think of that, of the things she'd been forced to do before they got together. Risking her hostility, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close so her head rested under his chin.
“We could… try…”
“No.” He barely got the word out, had to force it out before he sucked it back in. He grew hard just thinking about being inside Nyla again, but he was determined to not be a greedy bastard. “The last time we did, you hurt.”
“It was just… uncomfortable. I can handle it.”
“You hurt, Nyla, and I won't do anything that causes you pain. Ever.” He gripped her chin in his hand and made her look him in the eyes. “Like you said, that part of your life is over. You will never have to service a man again, especially not your husband. When you have the baby, and have had time to heal, we'll get back to normal. I can wait.”
“Are you sure?”
He ran his thumb over her jaw before releasing her face. “I wouldn't enjoy it if you didn't, too. It should never be a chore.”
“There's nothing I can say to keep you away from this, is there?”
“No.” He leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead, hated the look of defeat in her eyes. “I need to find out why sirens, vampires, and were-hyenas are working together, and what their ultimate goal is. One of them is luring that witch to every crime scene, and my brother is involved. He won't give up on this case. You know him well enough to know that.”
“I never knew Jonah like I know you.” She ran a hand over her belly. “And I guess I'll never really know him.”
Jake frowned, wondered where she was going with the statement. She didn't seem angry now, just… sad. “What do you mean by that?”
She laughed lightly, but the sound was hollow. “Are you ever going to tell him about me? About the baby?”
“He knows we're married, and obviously, he knows we're having a baby.”
“You know what I mean, Jacob.”
Ouch. She never called him Jacob unless she was mad. Really mad. “It's not like I've had a lot of time.”
“You've had plenty of time. You're ashamed.”
“Of what?” The question snapped out of Jake like a whip.
“Me. Your son. Us.”
“Nyla—”
“No!” She stood from the bed and stepped across the small underground room Christian had offered them for the night. “You're too ashamed of us to tell your brother what I am, and what your son will be.”
“We don't know what he'll be,” Jake snapped, standing. “And I've already told you I don't care.”
“That would be easier to believe if not for the fact your initial reaction when you first found out what I was, was to kill me.”
“Oh, here we go again.” Jake threw his arms up in the air. She'd reminded him of that moment at least ten times in the last month. “I didn't, Nyla. I didn't even cut you. I couldn't. Damn, do I keep throwing it in your face that you once came within an inch of cutting my balls off?”
Her eyes widened as she whipped around. The long, black T-shirt she wore to sleep in swished with her. “Are you really comparing something as simple as a castration to killing me?”
“Well, it might not seem a big deal to you, but I'm rather fond of my balls.”
Nyla's lips trembled perilously, then her entire face crumpled into a mask of despair before she hid it behind her hands. The sobs forced from her body tore at Jake's heart. He was in front of her in an instant, wrapping her in his arms. “I'll go wake up Jonah and tell him now, okay?”
“No.” She shook her head against his chest, wetting his skin in the process. “I'm being unreasonable, and I'm sorry,” she apologized between sobs. “I hate being like this. So bitchy… sob… nervous… sob… worried all the… sob… time…”
“And scared?” Jake rubbed his hand in circles over her back, and tilted her chin up to see her red, puffy face, everything suddenly so clear. Nyla was a warrior, but her people couldn't shift form when pregnant, so for months she'd felt lost, out of control. Weak. She'd had to deal with her feelings the worst way possible: She'd actually had to do nothing but think about them. “Why can't you just admit you're scared to have this baby?”
She heaved out another sob, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Whenever I've been scared before, I could just fight and push my fears to the back of my mind. I could inflict pain on others and not have to deal with my own.”
“I know.” He wiped away an errant tear with the pad of his thumb. “And since you can't fight physically for now, you're just lashing out at me any way you can to help yourself cope with all that's happening.”
A fresh sob tore from her throat as she pressed her face against his chest, burrowing into him. “I'm sorry. You don't deserve all the grief I give you.”
“Ah, I probably do,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head before resting his chin on the same spot. “Like you said, there was a fraction of a moment I'd considered killing you. I should always suffer for that.”
“I know you would have never killed me.”
“Good.”
“And I would have never cut off your balls,” she added. “I'm rather fond of them, myself.”
Jake chuckled, the tension in his shoulders easing up. “What's really going on in that crazy head of yours, Nyla? What's got you so worked up tonight?”
There was a long pause, but just when Jake was about to ask the question again, she answered softly. “Back when I was with the Pantherians, before I met you… I'd been around long enough to witness the births.”
“Yes?” Jake prodded, after another lull.
“The way those women screamed, Jake… I can't describe to you the pain.”
Jake started rubbing her back again, and planted another reassuring kiss on her head. “I brought you back here so Seta can help with the delivery. She's a powerful witch, and I'm sure she'll whip up some magic to ease the pain.” He prayed she could. If Nyla were a normal, mortal, human they could just go to a hospital and get her an epidural when the time came. But she wasn't. They couldn't take the chance of the doctors learning what she was, and there was a chance the epidural wouldn't even work in her system. Far scarier than that, was the thought of the doctors inadvertently doing something to damage—or kill—their child.
“What if she can't? And what if I go through all that pain just to have this child alone because you've been killed by a vampire while snared by a siren?” She trembled. “And if you're not here, who'll help me make sure nobody gets their hands on our son? You know how he'll be hunted.” She choked on a sob. “I can't do it without you. I can't.”
Jake took a deep breath, tried to soothe the knot in his chest. “Nyla, you know I will not die.”
“You can't be sure.”
“I. Will. Not. Die.” He held her face in both hands, and looked her in the eyes, protectiveness churning fiercely in his gut. “And if any evil bastard so much as touches a hair on my son's head, or even thinks about hurting you, they'll learn quick and fast I'm not the slayer to fuck with.”
Malaika cracked open her eyelids, reached over to snuggle her baby girl… and found the bed empty. Alarm slammed into her chest, stealing the breath from her lungs. Deja was gone. She glanced around the small room, a not-quite-square room carved out of the ground, and her anxiety level rose. The chair Jonah had rested in when she'd arrived earlier that night—morning?—was abandoned, and the door open. She'd closed it before sliding into the bed next to Deja and allowing herself to rest.
Had Craig found a way in? Had he taken her? A cry spilled from her mouth as she slid off the bed to search Christian's underground home. She didn't make it one step. Instead, she snagged her foot on something and fell to her hands and knees with a loud thud, barely managing to keep her face from slamming into the wooden plank-covered floor.
“Malaika?” A drowsy male voice said from behind her, and she turned her head to see Jonah sitting up, rubbing his eyes. Her feet were still in his lap. Looking down, then over at her, realization chased the drowsiness from his eyes. “Oh, damn. I'm sorry. The air is best in here, and I couldn't sleep in any of the other rooms so I thought I'd just lay here on the floor and get some rest. Are you okay?”
Just a little bit mortified, Malaiaka thought as she rubbed her sore palms together. She could almost feel the bruises forming on her knees. Jonah reached out and took her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over her stinging palms. A jolt of electricity arched from Malaika's palms and through her arms, from the slight touch. “Good. You're not bleeding.”
He stood up and pulled her to a stand. Malaika saw the bed behind him and remembered why she'd been too preoccupied to notice the tall man sleeping on the floor. “Deja!” Alarm sparked fresh, and she ran from the room.
She ran into the narrow tunnel-like hall and came to a stand-still, causing Jonah to ram into her back, as the sound of Deja's laughter washed over her. She stumbled forward, but Jonah's hands wrapped around her waist, locking her into place.
“Sorry.” His voice was a low rumble along her cheek, he hovered over her so close.
“It's okay.” More than okay, she thought, delighting in the feel of his warm hands on her skin. She was glad she'd worn a shirt that left a little skin exposed at the waist.
Deja's laugh reached her again, strengthening the relief she'd felt upon first hearing it, and she broke away from Jonah's hold to find her daughter.
Malaika stepped into what appeared to be the living area, Jonah just a step behind her. They paused at the entrance to observe Deja playing a card game with the vampire who‘d welcomed them to his home. Like the rest of Christian’s home, the room had been carved out of the earth. Wooden boards were nailed into the ground to form a floor, and boards surrounded the room in place of walls. Thick hooks were mounted into the walls and from them hung lanterns to provide light. Above them, a ceiling was formed by more wooden planks. What kept it all from falling apart, Malaika didn’t know, but the overall effect was actually quite nice.
The furnishings in this room were comprised of a long couch and a comfortable looking armchair surrounding a coffee table, and a chaise off to the side. Along the far wall, Malaika noticed a counter area with a sink, and a small dorm-sized refrigerator. Her stomach did a little roll at the thought of what a vampire would keep in there. A vampire! Despite spending a good length of time with them, the shock of it had yet to completely wear off. Along with the shock of being a witch.
To her left, Deja and Christian occupied two of the six available chairs encircling a round, wooden table. Deja emitted another series of giggles as Christian made a funny little face indicating his defeat, and playfully slammed his cards on the table. “You win again. You’re just too good at this.”
Deja laughed wholeheartedly and raised her little fists into the air. “Yay me!”
“Yay, you,” Christian agreed, and scooped the cards up. “Morning, guests. Sleep well?”
Malaika started forward, not realizing the vampire had been paying them any attention. Jonah patted Deja’s head, and pulled out a chair for her as they reached the table. Malaika eyed him warily, but when he only raised an eyebrow in response, his mouth tugging slightly at the corner, she took the offered seat. Accepting the seat he offered was no big deal, she told herself. It didn’t mean things would lead anywhere near the vicinity of where her dreams had traveled the night before.
She noticed Christian’s expectant gaze, and recalled he’d asked her how she’d slept. “Oh, sorry. I slept, fine, thank you,” she answered, deciding no one needed to know about the heated dreams she’d had, dreams she shouldn’t have been having considering the immediate danger her daughter was in. “Thank you for allowing us to stay here.” And not sucking us dry. She studied the vampire, taking in his youthful, innocent appearance. Thanks to her psychic—apparently witch—abilities, she could tell the man was extremely powerful, but if she were to judge by looks alone, she’d have no clue. He was tall and lean, his face clean-shaven, so smooth she suspected it had never hosted any stubble at all. His eyes were warm and innocent-looking. They had the ability to invoke a person’s complete trust. His lips were thin, and despite the lack of lines around them, he appeared to be a man who smiled often.
He beamed one of those smiles her way before tilting his head in the direction of Jonah, who’d taken a seat on the other side of Deja. “And you? You were not where I expected you to be this morning.”
“Yeah, it got kind of stuffy in here after a while, so I slept on the floor in the girls’ room.”
“In here?” Malaika glanced around the room, again only noticing the chair, couch, and chaise.
“The chaise is actually pretty comfortable,” Jonah stated. “But the air is kind of thin through here. The floor was fine. After all the stake-outs I’ve done, floors aren’t bad at all. Beats being stuck in a cramped car for hours on end.”
“I’m sorry,” Christian apologized, rising from the table. “I have limited sleeping areas down here since it is so important I keep my private residence a secret. My sleeping quarters are nearly devoid of air, and the other good room was for Nyla and your brother. I figured with her being with child—”
“No need to explain or apologize, man. I’d beat my own ass for taking a bed if it meant a pregnant woman went without it.”
Malaika’s heart did a little flutter at Jonah’s display of consideration. As she recalled, Craig hadn’t been exceptionally considerate when she’d carried his child. He hadn’t bothered going to the grocery store with her, cooking, cleaning the apartment every once in a while. Hell, she couldn’t even remember him calling to see if she needed anything. If he’d called, it was to ask for something. Craig, the energy-sucking monster.
Her heart twisted as she remembered the way Deja had looked the night—morning?—before. Drained. Lifeless. Now she was bright-eyed and full of life. The way she should always be. Damn Craig to hell and back. She took a deep breath to fight off the emotion clogging her throat and rubbed a palm along Deja’s braided hair. “Where is Seta? I’d like to thank her for helping my little girl.”
Deja frowned and she remembered she’d been asleep or unconscious for most of the time they’d been around Seta. She had no idea what all had happened.
“Seta had to attend to some personal business,” Christian answered, crossing over to the counter area. “Can I get you all something to eat?”
Malaika blanched at the thought of what a vampire would offer in terms of nutrition, and Christian caught the expression. “I keep regular food upstairs for my…” He glanced at Deja. “I have guests from time to time who do not match my particular nutritional needs. I have cereal, fruit, sandwich items… and I might have some lasagna left.” He reached into the small refrigerator, bu
t the door blocked Malaika’s view of the contents. He pulled out a cereal bar and inclined his head toward Deja. “I brought this down last night, figuring she’d be hungry upon waking. Do you mind?”
“No. Thank you,” Malaika answered, giving him permission to give the cereal bar to Deja. “I’ll probably just grab something for myself later. How often do you have guests?”
“Unfortunately, too often. Of course even once is too often, really.” Christian sank back down into the chair he’d occupied at Malaika’s right side. “I offer a place of refuge for runaways, and those who fall into the wrong hands.”
“Oh.” That was awfully nice of the vampire. Unless he fed off the guests. Her eyes narrowed on the friendly looking vampire. Looks could be so deceiving, and she knew better than anyone. Craig had appeared to be a stand-up guy. Look how he’d turned out. “How do they pay for their stay?”
Christian studied her, and smiled. “Not how you’re thinking. I get my nourishment from bags, and hopefully they repay me by doing something to help someone else in need.”
“You bring them here and trust them not to tell anyone about the secret door?”
“They stay upstairs. You noticed the cot where Deja rested. I have a few rooms up there. Rarely do I allow anyone down into my private residence.”
“But you allowed me.”
Christian glanced at Deja, his mouth curving into a grin as he watched her chew her cereal bar. “Seta was kind enough to cast spells of protection over my home after I first built it. No one can step inside unless I want them to. I thought it the safest place for the child.”
“And you trust me not to tell anyone of it?” A little ray of warmth sparked in Malaika's chest. Just the day before she'd felt persecuted by these people. Now she was being accepted.
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