******
Tossing down her pen, Cassie struggled to focus on the work before her. She’d read the agreement they’d received from one of their longtime rodeo committees three times. Each time, her mind wandered to thoughts of Matt. It made no difference how much she schooled herself to concentrate on the work before her. Her mind, well…had a mind of its own.
She’d been pushy, obnoxious, and outright rude several times, garnering warning glances from Cam, grimaces from Matt. The awareness was there, but the ability to control the combative responses vanished each time he questioned her ideas.
Over the years, she’d worked hard to become more of a team player, rein in her competitive nature, and tone down the way she approached opposition to her concepts. None of that effort came through today. Matt seemed to bring out every negative characteristic still buried deep inside. She’d been surprised Cam hadn’t called her into his office for an official dressing down.
“What’s going on?” Janie peered over her shoulder, spotting the numerous scribblings Cassie had created on a pad of paper. None of them meant a thing. “Maybe a glass of wine will calm your nerves.”
“I’m not nervous,” Cassie huffed, pushing back from the table and standing.
“No? Then what are you? I haven’t seen you this worked up since Matt took off for the rodeo circuit.” Janie crossed her arms, resting a hip against the table.
“I don’t know. It’s just…” Her voice trailed off as she tried to form a coherent thought. “I guess I thought it would be easier to be around him after all this time.”
“And it’s not?”
“No. If anything, it’s worse. Having him back in my life emphasizes all I lost when he walked away. What’s wrong with me that I can’t get him out of my system after all the pain he’s caused? You’d think I’d hate him.”
“But you don’t.”
“Believe me, I’m trying.” Cassie paced to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a long swallow. “He’s just so…I don’t know…more than I remembered.”
“Well, he has filled out some, has muscles he didn’t have before, along with a maturity in the way he carries himself. He may even be more handsome than when you two were together.”
Cassie buried her face in her hands and groaned.
Janie tapped her chin with a finger. “And his smile. He sure has learned to use it to his advantage.”
Cassie stared at her roommate, head tilted to the side. “You’ve talked to him?”
“Not me, but I had to get a look at him after all this time. I peeked around the corner while he carried on a long conversation with the receptionist. She couldn’t stop talking about him after she showed him to the conference room. I think she’s in lust.”
“You’re not helping, Janie.” She plopped into an armchair in the living room, knowing she felt too agitated to stay seated for long.
“Sorry, hon. But I know how you are about me telling you how I really feel. The guy’s a hunk and single. What’s a girl to do?”
Standing, Cassie walked to the table, looking down at the papers spread out next to her computer. Except for a continual stab of longing she couldn’t control, she had nothing to show for the last hour.
“Maybe you need to take Skye up on her offer to visit her in Montana. Cam and Mitch have both said they want the two of you to make more joint calls. It may be time to go with it.” Janie pulled out a chair, sitting down, resting her arms on the table. “After today, Cam may even require you to take off.”
“What do you mean? Did he say something to you?” Turning her chair toward Janie, she sat down, leaning forward.
“Of course not. But the walls of the conference room aren’t that thick and your voice does carry…”
Cassie let out a sigh, chastising herself again for letting her temper get the best of her.
“Look, it’s not that bad. If it were, Cam would’ve called you into his office before he left today. But if you don’t think you can handle being around Matt, it may be best to confront it with Cam now rather than let the whole partnership fall apart.”
Shutting her eyes tight, Cassie rubbed her temples in an attempt to stop the throbbing headache she’d had all day. The effort didn’t help.
Standing, she grabbed her purse. “I need some fresh air.”
“You aren’t taking off at this hour, are you?”
“It’s not that late and I won’t be gone long. I just need to clear my head, get away for a bit.” Pulling the door open, she stepped outside before turning. “Thanks, Janie. It’s good to have a friend who’s honest with me.” Shutting the door, she headed to her truck, wishing she could start the day over.
******
Twenty minutes seemed like an hour as Cassie drove aimlessly around town, her windows down, radio playing the country music she loved. Tonight, she didn’t even change channels when songs Matt and she had both liked came on. Instead, she forced herself to listen, remembering the good times…and the bad. Truthfully, she couldn’t remember much of the bad.
Giving up, she turned into the parking lot of a neighborhood bar a few blocks from her apartment. She and Janie came here a couple times a week after work to grab a quick meal and watch whatever sports were on the numerous televisions mounted to the walls. Her spirits brightened, noticing the lot was half empty. She might even get a seat at a secluded table where she could sip a beer and not have to converse with any of the locals.
“Hey, Cassie.”
She glanced up to see the owner wave a quick greeting. Smiling, she walked over, leaning against the bar.
“Hi, Marcus. How’s it going tonight?”
“Slow,” he answered, grabbing a glass and filling it with her favorite craft beer. Sliding it across the bar, he took a good look at her. “You look beat. Long day at work?”
“Long, frustrating, embarrassing…you name it and I probably felt it today.” Lifting her glass, she tilted it to him, then took a sip. “I had to get out for a bit. Clear my head.”
“Good decision.” Leaning over the bar, Marcus dropped his voice to a whisper. “There’s a new guy down at the end of the bar. Never seen him before, but it might be worth striking up a conversation.” He paused when he saw Cassie’s eyes widen. “You know, to get your mind off today.”
Her mouth twitched at the corners. “Are you trying to set me up, Marcus?”
Touching his fist to his chest, his face sobered. “Not me, darlin’. My only aim is to get you back to your normal, smiling self. Anyway, he’s down that way if you change your mind.” He nodded to his left toward the darkest corner of the bar.
Ignoring the suggestion, she settled onto a stool, deciding against a table. She’d have one beer, then head home, crawl under the covers, and pray for sleep. Staring at the big screen in front of her, she had the strangest feeling of being watched. Telling herself it wouldn’t be unusual in a bar, she focused on the television again.
It didn’t take long for the feeling to return—stronger this time. Glancing around, trying not to look obvious, she spotted a couple at one table and three men sitting together at the bar. Then her gaze wandered to where Marcus had indicated the new guy sat. Blinking, she let her eyes adjust to the dark section of the bar, then gasped when a pair of eyes she knew well stared back.
Turning her head, hoping he hadn’t recognized her, she pulled several bills from her purse and set them on the bar. “Here you are, Marcus. I need to run.”
“It’s already taken care of, sugar.”
“What? By whom?”
Marcus nodded behind her, then turned toward another customer.
“Good evening, Cassie.”
Turning slowly in her seat, she swallowed the lump in her throat. “Matt. What a surprise.”
“Mind if I take a seat?” He lowered himself onto the stool next to her. “Do you live around here?”
She didn’t want to talk with him. Didn’t even want to see him. The sole purpose of getting out was to rid her min
d of Matt, clear her thoughts, and get back to normal. Now she had to contend with her heart beating so hard, she thought it would burst from her chest.
“A few blocks. Are you staying nearby?” Her voice sounded much steadier than she felt.
“Across the street. I just needed to get out for a bit.” He let his gaze wander over her, not caring if she noticed or what she thought of his open appraisal.
“Well, I should be going. Thanks for the beer.” Slipping a hand under the strap of her purse, she paused when Matt’s hand gripped her arm.
“Don’t leave yet. Stay and talk to me for a while.”
Glancing down at his hand, feeling the same jolt she’d always felt when he touched her, she bit her bottom lip, then pulled her arm free. “I really should head out.”
“Please, Cass.”
She’d seen that look before, knew he needed the comfort only a familiar soul could provide. For a brief moment, she wished he wanted her to stay because he still had feelings for her, not just because he needed the company of someone familiar. Pushing the foolish thought from her mind, she settled back on her chair.
“All right, for a little bit.” Pulling her unfinished beer toward her, she took a sip, looking up at the television.
“We got a lot accomplished today.”
She could feel his gaze boring into her, causing her skin to prickle with heat.
“Yes…yes, we did.” She could hear the slight rise in her voice.
“I think we can wrap up tomorrow.”
Clearing her throat, she glanced over at him. “Then where will you go?”
“Crooked Tree to meet with Skye. Possibly Mitch and Sean,” he answered, mentioning her cousins. “Do you ever go up that way?”
“I’ve been there twice. I’m due to go again. Skye wants us to meet with some of the rodeo committees together. She believes it will make a stronger impact on them if we both show up.” Cassie gripped her glass tighter, quelling the almost overpowering urge to reach out, run her fingers up his neck, and play with the long hair at his nape.
“You’re welcome to ride up with me.”
“What?” Her eyes widened as panic rippled through her. “No. I couldn’t do that. It would be crazy to…” Her voice trailed off as she gulped down the last of her beer, reaching for her purse again. “Look, I really have to leave.” She headed for the door, not looking back.
“Cass, wait up.” Matt dashed ahead of her, holding the door open. “I’ll walk you to your truck.”
“It’s not necessary—”
“Yes, it is.” He placed his hand on the small of her back, ignoring the heat which flamed at the contact as they walked the short distance to her truck.
Rummaging in her purse, she pulled out the keys, groaning when they slipped from her hand.
“I’ll get it.” Matt grabbed the keys and unlocked her door, then held it open, but blocked her entry. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong.”
Wanting only to get inside and get away, she shook her head. “You didn’t say anything wrong. I just need to leave.” She lifted her face, chin jutting toward him.
“Always in a hurry. Always somewhere to go.” He lifted his hand, letting a finger trail down her cheek, along the line of her jaw, then down her neck.
Excitement mingled with fear at his touch, causing what felt like a swarm of butterflies to pool in her belly. She had to get away from him. Now.
“Matt, I really should go.” Her voice held little conviction, even as she knew staying longer would be foolish.
His hand wandered to the back of her neck, drawing her closer. “Do you ever take time to enjoy yourself, relax and have a little fun?”
She could feel the heat flame in her cheeks as he pulled her closer, but she couldn’t seem to find the strength to push him away. It had been so long, and she missed him terribly.
He bent his head, moving toward her until their mouths were a mere inch apart. Seeing her eyes close and feeling no resistance, he covered her mouth with his. The kiss was tentative at first, his lips brushing across hers, becoming more possessive as she dug her fingers into his arms. Wrapping his arms around her, pulling her tight, he let his hands roam over her back, settling on her waist. Groaning in pleasure, he deepened the kiss, taking whatever she’d give him.
Heat streaked through her at the feel of his hands, warm and familiar as they stroked her back, moving to her hips to align her against him. She could feel her knees tremble. His taste, scent, the feel of him after so long sent her nerves humming. Seeking closer contact, she wrapped her hands around his neck, sliding her fingers through his hair as she pulled him closer.
“Ah, Cassie, baby. I’ve missed you,” he murmured against her ear.
Her heart tripped over the words as doubt crept into her mind. She knew he no longer wanted her, had walked away without a backward glance. The realization of what they were doing hit her like a slap in the face. Breaking the kiss and lowering her hands, she pushed against his chest.
“Matt, stop. We can’t do this.” Pushing again, she finally broke his hold on her and took an unsteady step backward, drawing in a breath.
Dragging a hand through his hair, he locked his gaze on hers, feeling as if his heart had seized. Breaking eye contact, he moved away, giving them both space.
“You’re right. We can’t.”
Her stomach plummeted at his quick agreement, blinking to fight back tears. Nodding, she climbed into the truck, not allowing herself to look at him. Starting the engine, she pulled away, leaving him to stare after her.
Watching her disappear down the road, he cursed at himself and his foolishness. Passion, desire, lust. None had any impact on why they weren’t together. No matter how much his body craved hers, how much his heart ached at not having her, they were poison together and that wouldn’t change.
From now on, he had to keep a tight rein on his feelings, ignore the insistent pull she had on him, and forget how much he wanted her.
Chapter Six
“This is lovely, Kurt. I’ve been wanting to try it since first moving to Cold Creek.” Cassie glanced around the elegant restaurant. It had been a long time since she’d been taken to such a nice place. A wave of guilt hit her, knowing she planned to tell him they had no future together.
“I’m glad you like it. Let’s hope the food is as great as I’ve heard.”
Opening the menu, she took her time reading each selection, never seeing such an interesting number of choices. Ordering the eleven-spiced venison and grilled quail with tamale tart, apple-braised cabbage, grilled eggplant, and juniper sauce, she handed the menu to their waiter, picking up her glass of Argentine Malbec.
“How’s your wine?” Kurt watched her over the flowers and candles in the center of the table, wondering what troubled her. The usual smile was in place, bright as always, yet it didn’t quite reach her eyes. It should have made him feel better about his decision to not ask her out after tonight. Instead, it made him curious about what weighed on her.
“Excellent.” She took another sip, then set down her glass. “Tell me what you’ve been doing.”
“We had another fire. You probably read about it in the paper.” He recounted what had been found at the scene and their efforts to determine if the blaze was arson.
As he spoke, Cassie found herself thinking of a few nights before and her encounter with Matt. Each had gone through their meeting the following day as if nothing had happened. They’d been professional, polite, and distant. Matt had excused himself when they broke for lunch, declining an invitation to join her at a restaurant a few blocks away, saying he had other plans. His rejection stung. When the afternoon session ended, he’d left for Montana without any hesitation and with no more than a cursory goodbye.
Most of the last few nights, she’d lain in bed, unable to sleep, and unwilling to erase the feel of his lips on hers, his arms wrapped around her. He’d felt so right, as if their time apart had been scant seconds instead of years. But a part of her
knew it was wrong, which was why she’d pushed him away. Matt didn’t want her for more than a night to fill his time while on the road. She felt certain he’d leave without a backward glance if she gave into her desire, giving him what they both wanted.
“Cassie. You with me?” Kurt watched her, his brows meeting in a frown.
Face heating, she fought to recall what he’d been talking about. “Yes, of course. You’re continuing to investigate and believe you have one case of arson.”
“Close enough. Excuse me a minute.” Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out his phone. “Dobson.” He listened before responding. “Yes, sir. I’m on my way.” He pulled out his credit card, signaling their waiter. “Sorry, Cassie. There’s another fire. Stay as long as you like. I’ll leave the amount open if you want another drink or dessert.” Standing, he walked around the table, placing a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll call you.”
Watching as he dashed outside, she felt no remorse at his departure. No matter how much she liked him, she’d yet to meet anyone who could compare with Matt. She wondered if she’d ever meet a man who could trigger the intense passion she felt with him. The reality hurt, knowing he was now part of her life whether she wanted him to be or not.
******
Kurt helped put the apparatus back together as the men finished the overhaul, tearing down ceilings and exposing walls to check for any type of fire extension. It had been another abandoned building. This time on the edge of town in a defunct industrial park. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw activity in this area, guessing the fire had been set for thrills, not for monetary gain. Perhaps they did have a gang of teenagers setting fires for the adrenaline rush of watching a building destroyed by flames.
“Three fires in less than two weeks. That must be some kind of record around here.” Captain Vassar stood next to Kurt, surveying the damage. “Jerrod is on his way to start the investigation, although I doubt he’ll be able to detect much until morning.”
“He likes to get a fast start, taking pictures as soon after containment as possible.” Kurt continued to watch the scene, letting out a breath when a member of their crew gave an all-clear signal.
No Getting Over You Page 5