“I had a good time this weekend. It was all I’d hoped.” Stopping, he let out a breath, needing this to come out right.
“But?” she whispered, irritated at the way her voice broke.
Again, Matt reached out toward her, and once more, she stepped aside.
“We had the idyllic time. No stress, no work, no family pressures. Away from everything we’d normally face. These last few days aren’t how life is, Cassie. It will take a lot of work to get back what we had. It isn’t something we can turn on and off like a switch.”
She swallowed, trying to regain the composure which had escaped her the moment he’d asked to talk. Her face began to throb with embarrassment, a pulsing sensation that assaulted her when she expected bad news. In a heartbeat, she realized what she’d prayed for wasn’t going to happen.
“Just say it, Matt. If you don’t think I’m up to handling our relationship in the real world, or if you don’t want what we had this weekend to continue, tell me.”
Blowing out a breath, he threaded fingers through his hair. He’d already made a mess of this conversation, seeing no way to untangle it in the few minutes left to them.
“I guess I don’t want either of us to have unreasonable expectations about the future.”
Biting her lower lip, Cassie crossed her arms. “So you’re saying this weekend was more of a test. Some wicked experiment to see if you still felt anything for me?”
“That’s not it,” he ground out, his voice hard.
“Then explain it to me because I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”
When he reached out this time, she didn’t back away, letting his hand rest on her shoulder.
“I care about you, Cassie. I—”
“You care about me?” She shook off his hand, not wanting to hear the rest. “After our past and what we had this weekend, that’s how you feel? Fine. I care about you, too, Matt. But unlike you, I’m not afraid to say I love you.” She swallowed the bile in her throat, refusing to let the tears welling in her eyes fall. “I loved you in high school, in college, and after you left me. And as God is my witness, I love you now. If you can’t say the same, there’s nothing more to discuss.” Bending down, she grabbed her purse and computer, squaring her shoulders. “I’m glad you had fun. I’d hate to think I hadn’t delivered.” Turning, she put a few steps between them before Matt’s hand closed on her arm.
“Stop, Cassie. Don’t leave like this.”
Spinning toward him, eyes blazing, she stared at his hand. “Let go of me, Matt.”
“Not until I finish.”
Blinking, she swiped at an escaping tear, irritated at her own lack of control. “Fine. You have one minute.”
Dropping his hand, he stepped closer. “I just don’t want either of us to expect too much. We don’t know where this is going.”
“Do you love me?”
Narrowing his gaze, his brief hesitation gave her the answer before he could speak.
“Forget it. I can already see it’s a tough question for you.” She closed her eyes, feeling like a fool for thinking they had a chance. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone of this weekend. You’re free to go on with your life as if this never happened.”
Her chest tightened as she tried to control the pain ripping through her. There’d be no way she could ever face him at work or family gatherings. She’d made a huge mistake believing he’d come back to her after experiencing life on his own. He didn’t need her, love her, or want to work through their issues. All he’d wanted was a quick weekend fling with no strings and no future. Lowering her voice, she moved a step closer. “You can take this as my two weeks’ notice. I’ll let you deal with it any way you see fit.”
“Cass…”
This time, she didn’t turn around. It took all her effort to keep her face neutral as she handed the boarding pass to the flight attendant, walked onto the plane, placing her bag in the overhead, and took her seat, thankful she’d reserved one on the aisle. Taking several deep breaths, she snapped the seat belt closed and rested her head against the seat, praying whoever sat next to her wasn’t the chatty type. In the span of five minutes, she’d quit her job and lost the man she thought would be her future. Humiliation burned her cheeks. He cared about her, but nothing more. How could she have ever been so blind? Closing her eyes, searching for a way to forget this weekend ever happened, she let her hand rest on her chest. Perhaps if she pressed hard enough, the intense ache would disappear in time.
******
Every swear word Matt had ever learned streamed through his mind as he stalked toward his own gate. How had he let their conversation deteriorate so much, she not only walked away, but quit her job? A resignation he had no intention of honoring.
Tossing his bag in the overhead, he plopped into the window seat, staring at the tarmac. Thinking back, Matt winced over what he’d said. He’d screwed up the conversation from the beginning, and wondered if she’d ever talk to him again. The first thing out of his mouth should have been I love you and I want to make this work. Instead, he’d voiced his concerns, leaving her to think, well…exactly what she did think. When he started the conversation, he had no intention of calling it off between them. All he’d wanted was to express his concerns, discover if she had any doubts, and figure out how to move forward. Then he’d hesitated when she asked if he loved her. All he had to say was yes and the rest would’ve taken care of itself. Instead, he’d wavered.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he accepted he’d made a mess of it. Now he had to figure a way to make it right, get her to talk to him, and believe it when he told her how much he still wanted her. And yes, loved her.
Feeling a hand on his arm, he looked over to see an elderly woman watching him, her eyes full of concern.
“Are you all right, young man?”
Hell no, I’m not all right, he thought. “Yes, ma’am. I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”
“You just looked so lost, I had to ask.” She folded her hands in her lap, leaving him to his own thoughts.
Lost. A lady he’d never met before had described him in one word. The accurateness of it felt like a hot poker to his chest. He had been lost. Ever since leaving Cassie to compete, he’d been slogging through each day, thinking he’d been doing all right, but never making much progress, wishing he still had her in his life. He’d been lost and didn’t realize it until right now.
Glancing at the woman, he let his mouth tilt into a grim smile. She’d figured him out in an instant and now he had to find a way to get out of the mess he created…and it had to start as soon as the plane touched down.
Chapter Nineteen
Cold Creek, Colorado
Janie glanced at the phone on the kitchen counter, seeing Cassie’s gaze shift to the screen from where she stood in front of the stove. Matt. Shaking her head, she continued stirring the marinara sauce, feeling the sting of his rejection.
“Aren’t you going to answer it? He’s called, what? About twenty times in the last few days. No matter what happened, he’s still your boss.”
“I’ll talk to him when I’m ready.”
Crossing her arms, Janie leaned against the counter, frowning. “Does this seem like déjà vu to you?”
Stopping, Cassie cocked her head, turning toward Janie. “What do you mean?”
“Isn’t this what happened when he tried to reach you over and over the last time? He finally gave up and left town.”
“This is nothing like the last time,” she snapped. “He called it off at the airport. Now he just wants to ease his conscience or try to talk me into staying at my job. Neither is going to happen.”
“That isn’t exactly how you described it when I picked you up at the airport.” Janie leaned over Cassie’s shoulder, checking the sauce’s progress. “Smells great.”
“Don’t change the subject. What do you mean it isn’t what I said Sunday?”
“You said he didn’t answer when you asked if he loved you.”
> “Well, he didn’t.”
“And how many seconds did you give him? One, two…maybe three?” She watched Cassie’s mouth tilt into a frown. “You also told me he kept trying to get you to wait and talk to him, but you were so upset, you left him hanging. Sorry, hon, but it doesn’t sound to me like Matt called it off. It sounds more like you did.”
Cassie’s face sobered as her shoulders slumped. Playing back the conversation over the last few days, she’d already conceded Janie was right. She’d been scared, then on edge when he said they needed to talk. He never did say he wanted to end it.
“Somewhere inside, you must know Matt loves you and wants to try again. He never would’ve suggested a weekend away if he wasn’t pretty sure you’re what he wants. Somehow, I think you got your wires crossed.”
Letting out a sigh, Cassie lowered the heat under the sauce and set the spoon down. Burying her face in her hands, she slumped against the counter. “It’s my stupid pride, isn’t it?” she groaned. Of all her faults, it was the one characteristic that continued to trip her up.
“Well, since you asked…”
Cassie held up a hand. “Never mind. I know I messed up. Again.”
“After three days, he’s still reaching out to you. Don’t you think Matt deserves a break? If you intended to make him squirm a little, fine, but it may be time to give him a chance.”
Picking up her phone, Cassie turned toward the bedroom. “Go ahead and eat. I’ll be out in a bit.”
“Take your time.” Janie grabbed a plate, hoping she’d done the right thing by encouraging Cassie to speak with Matt.
******
Cassie listened to the last message. He’d said pretty much the same in all of them—he wanted to talk, explain his side, and there was no way he would accept her resignation. The fact he hadn’t mentioned he loved her or wanted to continue seeing her had been why she hesitated calling him back. She didn’t want to feel worse than she already did. Blowing him off as she’d done before didn’t set well with her. He did deserve his say.
Punching in his number, she paced to the window, watching the traffic whiz by. One ring, two, then three before she heard his voice.
“Cassie, hold on. I’m here. Give me a sec.” He sounded out of breath, as if he’d been running. “Okay, I’m back. I had to close the door.”
“We can talk later if I’m interrupting something.”
“No. UPS delivered a large package for Pops. I helped bring it in from the truck.” Matt hesitated, the silence growing as each waited for the other to speak.
“Are you sure this is a good time?” Cassie shifted the phone from one ear to the other, her hands shaking.
“Now is good.”
“I got your messages. It just took me a little time to calm down from Sunday and call you back.” She mentally kicked herself for not taking more time to decide what to say before she made the call.
“That’s all right. We both needed time to clear our heads. I know I did.”
“Me, too. Matt, I may have overreacted…”
“No, Cass, you didn’t. I screwed it up from the start, made you think I didn’t want to keep seeing you, and I’m sorry for that.”
“You still want to see me?” The shock in her voice didn’t surprise Matt. He already knew how much he’d botched the whole conversation.
“Yes, I do. I’ve never wanted anything more.” Matt’s stomach began to curl in on itself when she didn’t respond. Maybe he had misunderstood the way she felt. “Cassie, are you still there?”
She swiped at the tears running down her face, the relief she felt so immense, talking became hard. “Uh-huh.”
“Okay, that’s good.” He let out a breath, steadying the thumping in his chest. “What I should’ve said was how much I want this to work out. Instead, I told you my fears, making you believe I’d changed my mind.”
“You haven’t?” She smiled, her voice catching.
“Hell no. There’s no way I want to stop seeing you. Last weekend made me realize how good we are together. We need to see this through…if you’re willing to give me another chance.”
“I’d like that, Matt. Very much.”
He’d never felt such a strong sense of relief. “What are you doing this weekend?”
“Spending it with you?”
He chuckled. “Absolutely. I’ll fly in Saturday morning and get a room—”
“Only if the room is for both of us,” she laughed. “Unless you’d rather stay at my place.” Cassie didn’t know what Janie and Kurt had planned, but she could always kick them out for the weekend.
“You’re okay with that?”
“More than okay.” Swallowing her pride, she drew in a breath. “Thanks, Matt.”
“For what?”
She could hear the confusion in his voice. “Hanging in there with me. Not giving up.”
His voice sobered. “I could say the same to you. We’ll thank each other on Saturday.”
“Sounds great. Goodnight, Matt.”
“Goodnight, Cassie.”
Hanging up, he slouched onto the sofa. He’d been granted a reprieve, a chance to prove how much she meant to him. No woman would ever make him feel as whole and at peace the way Cassie did and he meant to tell her.
“You okay, Matt?”
He sat up, looking over his shoulder. “Yeah, Pops. I’m fine.”
“You work things out with Cassie yet?”
Standing, Matt turned to face his grandfather. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t try to bullshit me, boy. You’re still in love with her, and if you let this chance pass you by, you’ll be the biggest fool in the family. And let me tell you, we’ve had some world-class fools, me included. Now, help me bring that package back to my office.”
A grin splitting his face, Matt shook his head. Seth Garner was nobody’s fool, no matter what the old man said. If any Garner was a fool, it was him, and he was darn well going to fix that this weekend.
******
“What are you telling me, Jerrod?” Kurt crossed his arms and leaned a shoulder against a wall in the staff room.
“We have a serial arsonist. At first, I thought we were dealing with a couple prank fires, then perhaps a copycat. Comparing lab results presents a different story. I’d bet my career the same person set all the fires.”
“Any idea as to the motivation?” Kurt pushed away from the wall, taking a seat across the table. He welcomed the news. Tracking down two or three separate arsonists would’ve required more manpower and more time. Identifying one arsonist as skilled as this one would be difficult, but more within the scope of their limited resources.
“The list is endless. Let’s start with what I don’t believe is the motivation. First, it’s not some teenager looking for a thrill or trying to get noticed, as I’d first thought. The accelerants are too sophisticated. They weren’t set for monetary gain, and I seriously doubt vandalism played any part.” Jerrod stood and filled his cup with coffee, resting a hip against the counter’s edge. “The arsonist is unstable with severe emotional issues. He’s trying to get the attention of someone or a group of people, possibly in retaliation for a perceived wrong.”
“You’re saying this person is after revenge?” Kurt leaned forward, resting his arms on the table.
“In my opinion, yes.”
“A cry for help?”
“I’m not sure about that. I’ve studied the videos of each fire, scanned the crowd, and matched faces. In most cases, a person seeking help can’t stay away from a fire they set. Our team has been thorough at capturing images of spectators. I couldn’t find a single match.”
Kurt scrubbed a hand down his face, picturing the locations of the earliest fires. “Several were in remote locations with few onlookers, but had excellent tree or brush cover. What about that?”
“Could be our arsonist hid in the trees, but I doubt it. From everything I’ve studied, we’re dealing with someone with a need for revenge. He’ll keep setting fires until
the person or persons he’s after have suffered.”
“Or died,” Kurt muttered.
“Yes, that’s always a possibility, but the main motive is to make the person suffer because of a perceived wrong or slight. Killing them doesn’t accomplish that goal.”
“Do you still believe it’s a man?”
“It’s probable we’re looking for a male in his twenties or thirties, but I can’t rule out a female. Most females seeking revenge target something more personal than an empty building. They hit cars, homes, possibly a storage unit with personal affects. These fires don’t fit that profile.” Taking a sip of coffee, Jerrod joined Kurt at the table. “We’ve had six fires. The latest ones, although set in abandoned or vacant buildings, have brought a higher degree of risk to surrounding structures. One caused the death of two young men. I believe the arsonist didn’t know they were in the building, hunkered down in the storage closet. It doesn’t excuse the murders. I’m saying the killings were not part of the arsonist’s motivation.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“The police chief has requested additional assistance for patrolling potential targets, we’re scouring the databases for matches with any known arsonist, and we’re working with a profiler to see if we can come up with a possible identity.”
Kurt had worked with Jerrod ever since returning from Aspen. The fires, lack of sleep, and stress had taken a toll on his friend. Bloodshot eyes were rimmed with dark circles, his normally clean-shaven face sported at least a three-day beard, and the worry lines around his face had deepened.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Kurt asked, studying his friend.
Jerrod glanced up from studying his shaking hands, another consequence of the increased fires. Normally calm and in total control, he seemed increasingly edgy.
Jerrod shook his head, unsure of his conclusion, unable to say what haunted him. I think I may know the identity of the arsonist.
******
“Thanks, Gage. I appreciate you flying up.” Kade stood, shaking Gage’s hand after a successful day of meetings with Skye, Cassie, and him. “When do you fly out?”
No Getting Over You Page 17