by Jeri Odell
“Maybe you’re stronger than I am.”
“You’re Brady Cooper—football star. Biggest muscles in the family, remember? Can out–arm wrestle Cody, Frankie, and Dad—probably all at the same time.”
Brady laughed and flexed his arm.
“See. An iron man with an iron will.” Delanie grew serious. “You’ve waited too long for God’s best. You were the one who said you’d not follow Frankie’s footsteps and marry the first pretty girl to smile at you twice.”
Brady nodded. Sunni was beautiful but very selfish and demanding. Frankie’s life hadn’t been easy. He’d been a big part of Brady’s inspiration to wait on God. Have I quit waiting on You and run way ahead? He didn’t know. Kendall seemed so right. His heart begged God to let her be the one.
“I’ll pray for you to be strong and take a step backward.” Delanie stood. “Whatever you do, don’t kiss her. After that first kiss, resisting is twice as hard.”
Brady couldn’t make eye contact with Delanie, knowing she’d immediately see through him, so he nodded and kept his head down, staring at the ground.
“You already kissed her! Brady, you’ve only known her for a month. What were you thinking?” Delanie shook her head. “No wonder the poor girl is so far gone.”
Her words jolted his heart. “So far gone?”
Delanie confessed to stopping by to visit Kendall. “It was written all over her yesterday, so I suspected. Today she pretty much spelled it out. If she’s not already in love with you, she’s right on the edge of the cliff.”
In light of Delanie’s concerns, the news both pleased and disturbed him.
“If you aren’t strong enough to back off because it’s the right thing, then do it as a sacrifice for Kendall.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s dealing with enough right now, and until we know who she is and what components make up her life, you need to offer friendship and nothing more. It’s not fair to her.”
Brady sucked in a deep breath. “You’re right.”
Delanie reached out a hand and pulled him to his feet. “I love you.” She hugged him.
“I love you, too, sis. And thanks—I think.” He waited until Delanie got in her patrol car and drove away, but instead of returning inside, he settled on the front porch once again and weighed Delanie’s advice.
The next morning when his shift ended, Brady ran by his dad’s office before going home to catch some sleep. He used his knuckles to rap on the partially open office door. His dad looked up from a case file.
“Brady, come on in.” He shook his head. “Still nothing on Kendall.”
Brady lowered his tired body into the green vinyl chair. He’d been up most of the night. They’d had one call after another.
“You look like you need to be home in bed.”
“That’ll be my next stop after I leave here.” Brady paused. “I need some advice.”
His dad listened as Brady shared about the tenderness between him and Kendall the night they left his house. “Here’s the thing—I’m in love with Kendall and believe she’s in love with me.”
Concern crossed his dad’s features, but he only nodded as Brady continued.
“Delanie paid both Kendall and me visits yesterday, expressing her concerns.” Brady shared bits of their conversation. “I have to know what you think.”
His dad took his time answering—as he always did. A man of wisdom, he weighed his words before blurting them out. “Worst-case scenario—she’s married or engaged. A stranger shows up to claim her—a stranger she should love, but she’s now in love with you. You have no right or claim to that love because it belongs to another. What does she do? What do you do? More important, what is the right thing to do?”
He studied his son for a long moment—just the way Delanie often did. “I think until you know the facts of Kendall’s life, you must guard your heart and emotions. She’s grown to depend on you as a friend already. Maybe you need to slowly step backward and allow her to lean more on her own inner strength and the Lord, less on you.”
It wasn’t at all what Brady wanted to hear. He’d somehow hoped for his dad’s blessing to move forward, but in his heart of hearts, he knew that would never happen. His dad was nothing if not a man of integrity.
“Believe it or not, I still remember those early feelings with your mom. I know this isn’t going to be easy, Brady, but until we have answers, it’s the best thing for Kendall and for you. So, son, my advice is no more kissing, no more holding her, and no more tender thoughts.”
Brady nodded. Knowing his dad and Delanie were right didn’t make his task any easier. His feelings for Kendall happened so naturally, he wasn’t sure how to make them un-happen. But he made a pact with himself: Knowing how hard it would be, he’d not kiss her again.
“Dad, we haven’t talked about her case for a while. What’s going on? What are you thinking?”
The expression on his dad’s face caught Brady off guard, and fear knotted his stomach. “Has something happened?”
“No, but this is day thirty. The department’s stance is shifting from a hit-and-run to attempted murder.”
The words sent a chill down Brady’s spine.
“Murder?”
“I’m sorry, son, but it looks that way.”
Brady struggled to assimilate the news. “Why? Why would you assume someone tried to kill her?”
“She’s young. She’s beautiful. Not a soul anywhere in the entire nation is looking for her. An angry husband, boyfriend. . .” His dad hesitated. “Possibly a john.”
“A john?” Brady jumped to his feet. “You think Kendall’s a hooker?” He couldn’t believe his ears.
“Brady, we have to be open to every avenue. You know it’s a possibility. Girls come here to get a job as a showgirl, and when they get hungry enough, they do what they have to in order to survive. She could be involved in the mob in some way. There are a million possibilities.”
Brady walked to the window and glanced out. To the west sat downtown and numerous casinos. “I know they are all out there—the mobsters, the hookers, the dancing girls, but I never think of them or consider them because they are so far removed from my life. I mean, we occasionally get a call involving one, but I never wonder if someone I meet might be a call girl.” He turned and faced his dad.
“Unfortunately, because of my job, they are very much a part of mine. I know you don’t want to believe the worst, nor do I. Kendall’s grown important to you and your mother.”
“Is she in danger?” No matter who she was or what sort of life she might lead, Brady couldn’t bear for anything to happen to her.
“We’ve got it covered.”
Brady squinted and stared at his dad. “What do you mean you’ve got it covered?”
“She’s protected.”
“Since when?” Brady tried to remember seeing an undercover officer around, but none came to mind.
“A couple of weeks now, and if you haven’t noticed, that’s a good sign. They’re doing their job well.”
Brady rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He reclaimed his chair. “You believe finding the driver who ran her down will lead to Kendall’s identity?”
“Possibly. Sometimes amnesia is a way to escape things people want to forget.”
“You don’t think she has amnesia?” Brady’s mouth fell open.
“I believe she has amnesia, but sometimes amnesia is caused by emotional trauma. Kendall’s could be caused by both the wreck and whatever emotional events preceded the accident.”
“Dad, this is nuts. I feel like I’ve left normal life and been dropped into the twilight zone. When did the theory change from Kendall being a college girl who was the victim of a hit-and-run to Kendall being involved in foul play?”
“It’s always been a possibility, but as more time passes and all coeds are accounted for at UNR, we have to look outside the box.”
“When were you going to tell me
?”
“It’s all supposition, Brady. Nothing more.”
Emotions raced through Brady like cars on the Indy track. What if he’d fallen in love with a hooker or a mobster’s woman? Suddenly he understood Delanie’s need to warn him to slow down. As a police officer, this was her reality.
“Go home and get some sleep, Brady. You’ll be able to process this better then.” His dad rose.
They walked together down the hall to the elevator. “I haven’t said any of this to your mother.” He put an arm around Brady’s shoulder.
“It’s a lot of information to process.” Brady’s mind swam through all the facts. He boarded the elevator and bid his dad good-bye.
An attack of guilt hit Brady on his drive home. Isn’t love unconditional? If he really loved Kendall, would her past matter? He was too tired to muddle through the questions.
Six
Kendall hadn’t seen Brady in several days. Fraught with insecurity, she realized it was the longest span of time since her accident that they’d gone without seeing each other. Even if he could only pop in for a few minutes, he’d always managed to stop by daily.
I’m sure he regrets the kiss. Kendall found her hope of ever seeing him again dissipating. Feelings of sadness and loss followed.
His mom, however, continued to visit each day. They talked about God, the Bible, and prayer. She brought Kendall books to read, Bible studies to work on, and an iPod filled with Christian music.
Kendall glanced at the clock. Soon dinnertime would be here, and still no Brady. How will I learn to live without him? He’d become the high point of her basically nonexistent life.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” She and Mrs. Cooper had memorized the verse together. Mrs. Cooper encouraged her to recite it when therapy became more than she thought she could bear.
If there is no more Brady, God will get me through. I can do this with Your help. Kendall ran her hand over the leather cover of the new study Bible Mrs. Cooper had brought her a couple of days ago.
“Hey.” Brady waltzed in just like always—only a few days later than she’d expected him.
Relief surged through her. “Hey, yourself.” She’d never been so glad to see anyone, at least not that she could remember.
Brady had bags under his eyes, but he sure looked good to her.
Remembering the kiss, Kendall felt shy. Her cheeks warmed, and things felt awkward—a first between them. She wasn’t sure what to say or how to act.
“I thought I’d spring you from this joint and take you out to dinner. Do you like Mexican food?”
They both laughed at the absurdity of his question, and it seemed to relax them.
“Sorry, wasn’t thinking. What do you say? You up for a night on the town?”
“Sure.” Kendall was grateful she’d had the nurse help her slip into a pair of sweat pants and a sweater earlier today.
Brady moved her wheelchair against the bed and lifted her into it. She studied his face from her close proximity. He was more than just tired; concern lined his features.
She thought back to her visit with Delanie. Maybe his sister had convinced him to dump her while he had the chance. Kendall feared what verdict tonight’s dinner conversation might bring.
On the drive Brady asked, “Do those look familiar at all?”
She shook her head as they passed Circus Circus, a well-known hotel and casino.
“Doesn’t ring any bells, huh?”
She gazed at the downtown area. “No. I wish something did.”
A few blocks later, Brady turned into a restaurant parking lot. The sign read Bertha Miranda’s.
“We’re about to find out if you like Mexican food. This is one of my family’s favorites.”
He helped her from the SUV. Once inside, the host led them to a small corner table and removed a chair. Brady wheeled Kendall up to the table.
She studied the room. Something about it seemed vaguely familiar—the bright colors, large pots, and tile floors. The waiter approached with two glasses of water. Kendall examined the menu.
“What do you recommend?”
“The tacos.”
After they’d ordered, Brady was quiet. He adjusted his silverware for the tenth time.
“Is everything okay?” She partially dreaded his answer but needed to know.
He nodded. “How’s therapy going?”
“It’s hard, and Tom says we can’t go full throttle until the casts are off. But I don’t care how much it hurts—I will walk again.” Kendall raised her chin, underscoring her resolve.
“I admire your determination. I’ve heard PT can be grueling.”
“When I’m whining at you in a few weeks, remind me of that fortitude.”
He smiled and winked. “I will.”
A Hispanic family seated at the next table caught Kendall’s attention. They had four children probably all under five, and she found herself drawn to the dark-eyed, dark-skinned family. They spoke to one another in Spanish.
Kendall smiled when the mother looked in her direction. “How old are your children?” she asked in their native language. They spoke for a few moments about names and ages and wished each other well.
Turning back to Brady, she saw questions in his eyes. “You speak Spanish?” He cocked his head to one side.
She hadn’t even thought about it—it just came as naturally as breathing. “I guess I do.” Amazed by the discovery, she grinned. “Wow! I speak Spanish!” She reviewed what she now knew about herself. I speak Spanish and love kids. Church, God, and the Bible are familiar.
“Another piece of the Kendall puzzle.” Brady smiled.
Every new finding delighted her and gave her hope as she moved another step closer to her true identity. “Has your dad heard anything about my case?”
Brady hesitated then shook his head. His slight delay in responding troubled her.
Brady laid his hand over hers. “I thought we’d drive around after dinner and see if anything jogs your memory.”
“The doctor did say sometimes places, people, or things—the familiar—can do that.”
“Let’s hope.”
The waiter brought their hot plates of tacos, beans, and rice. After praying, Brady dug in, not saying anything else. His withdrawn attitude troubled her. Was he feeding her so he could then take her emotions to slaughter?
Kendall toyed with her food more than she actually ate anything. Unfortunately, even after OT, eating was a slow, tedious process. Brady’s silence and brooding had robbed her of her appetite. Finally, she pushed her half-eaten plate away.
“Why don’t you just say whatever it is you have to say and be done with it?”
Brady looked up from his plate and laid down his taco. It was their first real eye contact of the evening. “I had a rough night, several calls, no rest, and then I didn’t sleep much today, either.”
Kendall nodded, unsatisfied. Her gaze must have conveyed just that.
“Delanie came to see me after she left you the other day.”
Kendall hung her head. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “I figured as much.” Taking her napkin, she dabbed the corners of her eyes as well as she could with her casts in the way.
Kendall hated the rush of emotion that hit her and hated even more the urge to cry.
“Some of the things she said are valid.” Brady shrugged.
Kendall stared at her empty ring finger. “Can we have this conversation later in a less public spot?” She pushed her plate away—not the least bit hungry.
He nodded and glanced at her plate. “Are you finished?”
“I am.”
Brady raised his hand to call the waiter. “I think we’re done. May we get the check, please?”
The waiter glanced from one half-eaten plate to the other. “Sí, señor. Was the meal to your satisfaction?” Concern lined the older gentleman’s face.
“Yes,” Brady assured him. “As always, it was very good.”
The waiter’s doubtful expression remained.
Kendall tried to reassure him with a smile. “We are both full.”
He nodded, and Brady paid the bill. Then he rolled her back to his SUV. When he helped her from her chair to the backseat, she knew she was stiff in his arms. He kept his movements impersonal.
He drove toward his parents’ part of town, and Kendall hoped he wasn’t going to drag them into the middle of this. Having him dump her was going to be hard enough, but having the entire family dump her would be unbearable. Kendall decided to wait and see, but if he turned into Coughlin Ranch, then she’d speak up.
The ride was silent, and Kendall’s stomach churned in nervous anticipation. After treasuring their first kiss, she now wished it had never happened. That one tender moment, which lasted all of thirty seconds, started a downward spiral that Kendall felt certain would destroy not only their newly budding feelings, but their friendship, as well.
When Brady turned into his parents’ neighborhood, her heart dropped.
“I thought we’d take a walk along the lake and talk.”
Relief flooded Kendall at Brady’s explanation. At least it would only be the two of them. Brady unloaded her chair and then her. Both of them seemed stiff and awkward as the situation forced them into physical contact. She disliked her dependence on him but had no choice in the matter.
“There are some great trails through here. I think a walk will clear both our heads.”
Kendall nodded but didn’t comment.
Brady pushed her along a paved jogging and bike path that wound through the trees and circled the small man-made lake. They walked for a long time in silence. Kendall kept praying for God to give her the right words. The setting was pastoral—with its trees, flowers, and the sound of the water—so opposite of what was going on inside of her, but the farther they walked and the longer she prayed, the more peaceful Kendall felt. Finally, Brady stopped, parking Kendall facing a bench where he settled across from her, letting out a long, slow sigh. Out of the corner of her eye, Kendall caught sight of a couple of joggers passing by.
Her attention returned to Brady. He looked like a man carrying a heavy burden, and she knew the burden was her. She decided to make this easy for him and for herself.