Just for Appearances

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Just for Appearances Page 14

by Jenna Rutland


  He kissed the side of her head. “My pleasure. I’m glad you’re here.”

  She sighed again before murmuring, “It was the only place I wanted to be.”

  He hugged her closer. “Get some sleep. I’m right here.”

  He figured she probably couldn’t stay very long. He’d wake up in a few hours to get her back home.

  Several hours later, she woke from a deep sleep. Positioned on her side, it only took a second to realize that the heavy warm object lying across her waist was John’s arm, and that the intense heat was his big body curled up behind her. She’d like to stay in that position forever, but with the addition of his body heat, the sweatshirt was suffocating. The rivets and side seams of her jeans cut into her. She opened her eyes and spotted the full laundry basket next to the nightstand, and decided to replace her clothes with one of John’s soft shirts.

  She scooted to the edge of the bed, being careful not to awaken him. He sighed, shifting his position slightly, allowing her to sit on the edge of the bed without disturbing him.

  The room was dark, but moonlight shone through the window. With a quick glance back at John to make sure he was still asleep, she stood and unfastened her jeans. She pushed them off and tossed them to the floor. She sat back down on the bed and pulled the offending sweatshirt over her head. Clutching it to her chest, she reached out and snagged a T-shirt off the top of the laundry pile. When she straightened, she felt his nearness, his heat. Oh, man.

  He was awake.

  “You okay?” The huskiness in his voice caused her to shiver. The bed shifted, and he came closer. “Baby?” He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder, and she shivered again.

  “I was too hot,” she said whispering as if afraid to waken the night. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

  He continued to shower tiny butterfly kisses along her upper back and moved her hair to one side so he could continue the action on the nape of her neck. “Believe me, it was well worth waking up to see you sitting on my bed topless.” His kisses traveled up the side of her neck, and he started an assault on her ears, her cheeks, anywhere he could reach.

  “Rach, I’ve been doing some thinking,” he said, rubbing his whiskers. “I’ve made a commitment to watch the boys for the summer, and I won’t renege on that promise. I don’t want to hurt you, but my plans haven’t changed. Once the boys are back in school, I have to leave. If you want us to maintain only a professional relationship until then, I’ll accept that, though God knows how I’ll keep my hands off you.”

  “And…what if I want more?”

  He heard a hint of nerves in her tone. An involuntary smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Then I’m all yours for the summer. I’d like to be with you until I leave, if you want the same thing.”

  He watched the play of emotions wash over Rachel’s face. He figured she had some conflicts tumbling through her head and really couldn’t guess what her response would be. She cared for him, he was certain. But enough to spend the rest of the summer with him as his lover? Knowing he wouldn’t be around long-term? His heart thudded against his chest while he waited for her answer. It would be tough to play it cool around her for the next few weeks, but he’d be damned if he’d go back on his obligation to her and the boys.

  His heart beat widely in his chest. How long would it take her to make a decision? And what in the hell would he do if she said no?

  His eyes remained steady, searching her face, her body language, clueless as to her verdict. “Rachel,” he said, his voice rich and husky. “Let me love you.”

  So many emotions flashed across her face it was hard for him to keep up. But when she whispered, “Anything you want,” her tone was matter-of-fact.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Talk about dying and going to heaven. God, she had been amazing. Unless he developed memory loss, he’d never forget the raw look of desire on Rachel’s face as he moved inside her. She had given herself to him in a way that no other woman ever had. He slid his arms underneath her and with one quick maneuver, their positions were reversed. He lay on his back with Rachel sprawled on top of him. She raised her head just far enough to look at him, and he grinned at her skeptical expression.

  “I can’t believe…well, that we’re going to…

  “Do it again?” He laughed.

  She nodded.

  “Honey, I think with you I may never want to stop.”

  She chuckled. “At some point, we’ll have to get out of bed.”

  “Yeah, but it sure as hell isn’t now,” he said, tucking the question into the back of his mind of just how long she could stay. He’d have to ask her—later.

  …

  “You’re amazing,” he said, gliding his hands down her back. Her skin was warm and silky, unlike anything he’d ever touched. He lay on his back and scooted her to his side. “So tell me about tonight. By the way, what time do you have to leave? Where are the boys?”

  She trailed a hand along his chest, apparently finding pleasure in discovering all the plains and valleys of his body. Not that he had a problem with it.

  “Trying to get rid of me already?” she asked in mocking question.

  “No way, baby. If it weren’t for the boys, I’d lock my door, and we’d resurface sometime next month. I’m just curious about what went down tonight, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay.”

  “You’ll be happy to know, you were right—he wants me back.”

  “That doesn’t make me happy at all.” He pulled her a little closer.

  “No, me either.” She sighed, propping her chin on his chest. “I wasted so many years wishing he’d come back and tell me he wanted us to be a family. But now that he has, there’s nothing I want less than to be with him. Wish I would’ve figured it out a long time ago. It would’ve saved me a lot of heartache.”

  “How did he take the rejection?”

  “Not too great. I know seeing us together didn’t help. And then when I said I was coming here tonight—”

  “He knows you’re here with me?” He laughed. “Bet that went over well.”

  “Let’s just say I think I took him by surprise with that announcement.” She sat up, pulling on the sheet to cover her herself. She bent her knees, wrapped her arms around her legs, and clasped her hands in front of her shins. She rested a cheek on top of her knees and smiled at him. “Being here with you was the only place I wanted to be tonight.”

  He ran a big, warm hand down her back, settling into a slow caressing rhythm while she recited the details of her evening with Greg and the boys.

  “He wants to get back together for all the wrong reasons—at least to me they’re wrong reasons. He assumed that since the boys are older, it’d be easier to travel with them. The life he described wasn’t any different than the one we tried to live before.” She shook her head. “It didn’t work then, and it certainly couldn’t work now.” She ran her hand across John’s chest. “After all these years, I know that I don’t love Greg—maybe never really did as much as I should have—and I never want to be with him again.”

  He kissed her forehead. “Did he take off yet?”

  She shook her head. “He’s staying at my house with the boys. I’m not sure how long he’ll be in town, but he usually doesn’t stay more than a few days. It was probably pretty rotten of me to take off, but I’d had enough of him.” She kissed his chest and snuggled in closer. “This was the only place that felt right.”

  “I can’t imagine Greg was too happy about where you were headed.”

  “No, especially when I told him I wanted to be here all night.”

  He laughed. “Well, I’ll be damned, Einstein. You mean to tell me this was all premeditated?”

  She threw him a shy smile, then yawned for the fourth time.

  “I think you need some sleep now.” John drew her against him and tucked the blanket around them. She snuggled closer and yawned again. “Just close your eyes,” he said. “I’ll make sure you’re up in time to get home be
fore the boys wake up.” He kissed her forehead, listening to her slow, even breathing. She’d already fallen asleep. He’d allow himself to drift off, too, knowing his efficient internal clock would wake him in a few hours.

  …

  Heaven. Somehow during the night, she’d been sent to heaven. No place else on earth had ever felt so wonderful. Rachel moved closer to the source of solid warmth and smiled. She knew where she was without even opening her eyes.

  “Hate to tell you this, babe, but it’s time to get up.” John’s gruff, sexy voiced tickled her ear. She stretched, then growled a protest and opened her eyes a crack. She squinted at the glowing red numbers of the bedside clock and whimpered. He laughed. “If you want to stay put for a few more minutes, I’ll make you some strong, hot coffee before you leave.”

  She hauled herself up into a sitting position, holding the sheet across her chest with one hand while the other tried to smooth her wild mop of hair. “I think I need a shower more than anything. Any objections?” She nodded toward his bathroom.

  “It’s all yours. Unless,” he said, tugging at the sheet, “you’d like some company.” He wiggled his eyebrows and shot her his famous I-know-you-want-me grin.

  She laughed and pushed him away. “I think you making coffee is a great idea. I’ll be out in no time.” She dropped the sheet and jumped out of bed, running toward the bathroom as he made an unsuccessful attempt to grab her. Laughing, she closed the door in his face. A second later, she opened the door a crack and peeked out. “Tell you what, big guy. Let’s make a little wager. We’ll have a race to see who can finish first—me with my shower or you with the coffee.”

  “And what does the winner get?”

  “Whatever they want.” It was her turn to wiggle her eyebrows at him.

  His eyes took on a hungry appearance. “You’re on, babe.” She laughed as he ran naked from the bedroom, knowing they’d both be winners.

  …

  John sat on the edge of the bed, still naked, wearing a satisfied smile and holding a black ceramic mug filled with steaming coffee. Rachel opened the bathroom door, looked in his direction, and burst into laughter. Wrapped in an oversize fluffy blue towel, she looked good enough to eat. Thank God for instant coffee. He took a sip. “Ah, hot and strong.”

  Folding her arms across her chest, which truly was an inspiring sight, she shot him a suspicious smirk and ambled toward him. “You cheated, didn’t you?”

  He winked. “Honey, when the stakes are that high, a man gets creative.” He held the steaming mug out to her. “Want some before I tell you what I won?”

  After she had a quick sip, he took the mug from her and placed it on the nightstand.

  Putting his hands on her hips, he pulled her toward him until she stood between his spread legs.

  “I need to get going,” she whispered as he unwrapped the towel. She glanced down to his obvious arousal, and he chuckled as the skin on her neck and face pinkened up.

  “No way—I want my prize.” He dropped the towel on the floor. “I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he whispered, pulling her down to straddle his lap. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He encircled her with his arms and stood. “You should call in sick. We could spend the day in bed.”

  She sighed. “What excuse could I possibly give my boss?”

  He picked her up, then lowered her onto the mattress before following her down. He kissed her on the mouth. “Just tell him it’d be in your best interest to stay off your feet for the day.” Her giggles became quiet moans, suspending further conversation.

  Even though the notion of spending the day in John’s bed was a great one, she relinquished the idea and decided she had to get ready for work. She headed home and soon entered the back door of her house and heard the shower in the boys’ bathroom. She sighed and prayed the encounter with Greg this morning wouldn’t be too difficult. Should she feel guilty about the way she’d left him with the boys last night? No way. Thinking back to her wonderful night with John filled her heart and left a huge smile on her face.

  As she poured herself a bowl of cereal, the back door opened. She turned to look over her shoulder as John entered the kitchen.

  He flashed her a toothy smile. “Did you miss me?”

  She laughed. “I saw you less than twenty minutes ago.” He gave her a semi-wounded look. “But yes, it’s been very lonely without you.”

  He sidled up next to her and pulled her into his arms. “I can’t believe you didn’t like my plan about staying in bed,” he whispered as he planted tiny kisses along her temple. “At least today’s Friday, which means tomorrow night you’re all mine again. I think you’ll like what I have in mind for us.”

  She leaned back and looked into his eyes, an eyebrow raised in question.

  “Me, you, a bottle of wine, and dinner in bed.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Maybe I’ll even throw in dessert.”

  She sensed someone behind her and pushed away from John and turned. Greg stood in the kitchen entrance, arms folded across his chest with his usual look of dissatisfaction. “You know, Rachel, there’s something I just don’t get.” He pushed away from the doorway and walked toward the counter where he poured himself a cup of coffee. “You had a major problem because my job required that I travel. You claimed it broke us up.” Greg gave a curt nod in John’s direction. “Yet somehow, you hook up with the same kind of guy all over again—some nomad who doesn’t even have a place to call home. Don’t you find that kind of ironic? Aren’t you afraid he’ll hurt you the same way you claim I did?” Greg cast a glance first at Rachel, then at John, as if he were a disapproving parent.

  The smile froze on her face. How stupid could she be? Of course John would leave. He had been nothing but honest about that fact. Somehow, she had chosen to ignore what was so obvious, and as much as she hated to admit Greg was right, John’s work situation paralleled Greg’s.

  Greg shrugged a shoulder and gave Rachel a cocky look. “Just wondered.” He turned and left the room.

  She closed her eyes, bent her head, and tried to will away the ache in her stomach, her heart. Did she think one night together would change his mind about leaving? Next to her, she could sense John’s tenseness. He cleared his throat, and she opened her eyes and stared at her breakfast, unable to look him in the face. Her heart thundered in her chest.

  Greg peeked his head inside the doorway and aimed his gaze at John. “By the way, I intend to spend the day with the boys, so your services aren’t needed today, stud.” Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but Greg had already disappeared.

  …

  “Charming guy.” John squeezed his hands into fists—fists that would love to make contact with the jerk’s face. Rachel’s expression told him she second-guessed their previous night together. Damn it! He’d never lied to her, never promised her a thing. He wouldn’t stay, even though he found himself thinking about doing exactly that. Over the past few weeks, images of a future with Rachel and her sons had begun to flicker in his head, and for the first time in his life, he questioned himself about moving on. Would she ever accept his line of work? Would she ever trust him? Would she ever really need him?

  The direction of his thoughts scared him. If he wasn’t careful, he’d hurt her. He couldn’t imagine anything he’d hate more than to be the reason for her unhappiness. Maybe it was time to take a step back and rethink their relationship.

  And if he wasn’t careful, he’d get hurt, too. He’d gotten close to not only Rachel, but the boys as well. They accepted him, looked up to him, and damn if he didn’t love them.

  He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a little squeeze. “I think it’d be best if I took off now. The boys don’t need me today, and I’ve got a few things to catch up on.” He kissed her temple. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She nodded but didn’t look at him. He couldn’t quite read her face, but giving her some space seemed like the best way to handle the situation. After a halfhearted hug, he hea
ded out the door.

  …

  What did it mean when after only one night together, you don’t hear from your lover? Last time, it meant he’d left town. That probably wasn’t the case now, but why hadn’t he called or come over? After deliberating the answer for the past few hours, Rachel still didn’t have a clue to the answer. It was almost ten o’clock on Saturday night, and she hadn’t heard a word from John since he’d left her house yesterday morning. The boys’ ball game had been canceled due to rain. They were at Carol’s for the night, and Rachel had accomplished her usual Saturday errands and an abbreviated version of cleaning, but nothing could hold her interest. After the rain ended, the day had turned humid, the night now muggy. She lay on an inflatable raft, floating in the middle of her pool. Trying to relax wasn’t working. She couldn’t shake the restless, edgy feeling that gripped her. She wore her bright blue only-when-she-was-alone bikini and had drifted for the past hour, staring up into the night sky as if one of the hundreds of stars held the answer to one of the hundreds of questions that ping-ponged inside her head.

  Had John enjoyed making love with her? She smiled as images of what they’d done together replayed in her mind. Their time together had been perfect. Maybe the night had gone too fast, but what they’d shared had been pretty damn fantastic.

  Did he regret what they’d done? She let her fingers trail along the surface of the water as she struggled for an answer. With a little push off the rough concrete edge of the pool, she floated toward the shallow end.

  Maybe she should be grateful that he’d disappeared. Now she didn’t have to make a decision about a summer affair—he’d taken the choice away from her. Yeah, she was happy they’d spent the night together. If she had it to do over again, her choice would be the same.

 

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