That’s what happened when I waited that long to get laid. It was as if my dick didn’t work unless it was with her. The buildup, the sexual energy around us buzzed. I hadn’t meant to upset her when I called her out at breakfast or before her dinner. However, the jealousy that stabbed through me couldn’t be withheld when Ben showed up all charming and shit. It had only been a matter of time. Hilary and I were ticking time bombs, and last night, we’d both detonated in the most amazing way.
I shouldn’t have slept with her, and I had no excuse for my actions, but I wanted her. I made a choice and went with it because, truthfully, the agony of not feeling her was more than I could take. It had been too long since I’d let her softness cover me. She made me feel so damn good. Being with her eradicated the bad, even if for the moment.
“Now get that muscular body undressed and take a bath with me,” she said sweetly. Her hand stretched out. She was naked, vulnerable. My hesitation stepped aside as I drank in the curves of her body.
We sank into the tub, the water dangerously hitting the edge. “I’m not mopping the water up,” I said as she leaned against my chest. Her heated, naked skin felt like home.
“Guess we won’t be having sex in this thing, then,” she chuckled.
“Actually, mopping doesn’t seem so bad.”
She laughed and grabbed my forearms, wrapped them around her, and held on with her hands. The tension in my body heightened.
“Relax, Zach.”
Intimacy was unfamiliar to me. Cuddling a woman, laughing and chatting with her freely after sex wasn’t my norm. I sighed, and asked her like before, “What are we doing, kid?”
She tipped her head back, her eyes meeting mine. “Having fun. You’re my sexorcism.”
“I’m your WHAT?” I laughed.
She smiled and grabbed one of those pink loofah things and put some type of women’s body gel over it. “You’re my sex buddy, helping me exorcize the ghost of my ex.”
“Besides me, you haven’t slept with anyone since Graham?”
She shook her head, squeezing the soap from the loofah and playing with the bubbles. “No. My dates were awful. We both know Danny DeMarco wasn’t gonna cut it for me.” Pride welled up inside me. I was her first go in a long time, and I could be the best thing that ever happened to her.
“He’s such a meatball,” I scoffed. “And I’ll guarantee Graham was probably worse. I mean, I still don’t know how that douche let you go. With your body, especially this rack…” I peered over her shoulder and gave her a kiss on her neck.
“Well, thank God for my physical traits.” Sarcasm dripped from her tone. “Glad to know I’m good for something.”
She tried to tug away from me, but I held on. “You know it’s more than that, Hil. I’m as starved for you now as I’ve ever been. God, I can’t stay away from you. And I’ve tried.” How would I admit the way I felt when I couldn’t comprehend it myself?
“You sure know how to make a woman feel wanted by telling her you don’t want to want her.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” I pinched her side, and she giggled.
She stopped fidgeting and had her hands over the top of mine. “I know you’re worried about Evan finding out.”
I froze, then spoke gently, my arms tightening around her waist. “I hate that I’m betraying my best friend.” I paused. “And, yeah, I don’t want him to find out.” But I wanted her anyway. Somehow, she took precedence over my loyalty to Evan, and that freaked me the fuck out.
“He won’t. This doesn’t have to be serious, Zach. I told you that.” She turned her body. Those big eyes locked on mine. “I know you want to do the right thing here, but you’re under no obligation. I’m not some porcelain doll that’s going to break. Let’s play this thing by ear and enjoy the sexual connection we have.” Her hands ran over my arms, and my damn dick sprang to life all over again.
“Sexual connection, huh?” I wanted to hear more as her hands caressed me. “I like that. I’m the best you’ve had, right?” I raised my brow. “You can admit it.”
“The best?” She hummed in thought. “Well, I mean, your cock is big, which is a good start.”
“Good start?” I questioned. “Good start.”
“Yeah, I mean, you’re pretty decent in the bedroom.”
“Decent?” I smirked and moved my hips toward her ass. She groaned. “You came twice and bit my shoulder, babe,” I bragged. “You were so loud, I’m astonished good ol’ Ben didn’t hear you screaming my name.”
“Meh.” She wriggled. “You were all right.”
Who the fuck would be better for her than me? I trailed my hand down her stomach, between her legs, and let my finger plunge inside her slit. The other hand pinched her nipple. She gasped as she stirred her hips. My mouth lowered to her ear, and I nipped the lobe between my teeth. Her body shivered. “You enjoying that?” My mouth nuzzled her neck as my hands played with her. She panted, and I drew my hands away, leaving her charged. “I think we should get out of here. We’re getting pruney.”
I stepped out of the bathtub, and she straightened, her expression baffled. “Wha… Hey, we weren’t finished.”
“Well, since I’m just all right...” I grabbed a towel, handed it to her, and took one for myself, patting my body down. She eyed my raised dick and licked her lips. I laughed. “Like what you see? Perhaps Danny will be willing to take you on instead. He’s what? Hobbit-sized?”
“Fine, you’re sexy as fuck, and you gave me the best orgasms I’ve ever had. Which is why we’re doing this thing.” She stood and wrapped the towel around her body. “Happy, Collins?”
“I will be.” I tossed my towel aside, took her hand, helped her out of the tub, and led her to the bedroom. We stood in front of the bed, but my plan wasn’t to have her lie down. With swiftness, I tugged her hair tie and watched the locks unfurl. Cascades of blond ran down her neck and over her shoulders. My hand drifted to her towel, and I snatched it, letting it fall to the ground. Her eyes widened as she waited for me to give her a command. My thumb trailed over her plump, pink lips. I let the tip of it enter her mouth, and her tongue flicked it, then closed over it, taking it in as she sucked. “I want you to suck me with that dirty, stubborn mouth.”
Her pupils dilated, her breathing increased, anticipation poured out of her. I pulled my thumb out and transferred it down where I let it graze over her clit. I rubbed in circles, then up and down. “If we’re taking this on, Hilary, I want you to know I’m not your typical lover. Far from it.”
“Zach.” She shuddered as I brushed back and forth, moving deeper, spreading her wetness with my other fingers.
“I want to take you over, again and again—I want you in every way I can get you. I’ll rule your body and make you enjoy it so much you won’t even remember who the fuck your ex was, got it?”
She clutched onto my biceps as my arm wrapped around her waist. The fingers of my free hand plunged into her steadily. “How’s that sound to you? Hilary?”
Her eyes trailed up from my chest to meet mine. “Fuck buddies,” she stated with certainty.
“Friends and lovers,” I corrected.
She shivered in my arms, ready to burst. “Okay, but hurry and fuck me again.”
She wasn’t one for foreplay. For some reason, I loved giving it to her. But only her. Teasing her body would be fun, and I was only getting started.
“Zach!” A silver foil-wrapped taco flew at me and hit me on the forehead. It plopped onto my keyboard. I gave Josh a death stare and picked up the packet, setting it aside. “What the fuck is with you, mate?”
“He’s preoccupied with some shit,” Evan said, dismissing me. “He’s also being a bit of a dick. He’s probably the one that needs a good lay since he’s been stopped up for months.”
I shot him the finger. “Fuck you, asshole.” I almost didn’t care if Evan caught Hilary and me kissing this morning. Almost. She looked sexy draped in my shirt, her blond hair tangled and her lips p
uffy. I’d even left her with a love bite on her neck, just to mark her as mine. I got to touch her. Only me. She had me behaving like an animal. I couldn’t get enough of her, which was uncharacteristic.
“Jesus, I’m just playing with you, bro. What the hell is up with you lately?” Evan ate his second taco while Josh eyed me with suspicion.
“When is the restaurant having its soft opening?” Josh asked.
I dragged my hand through my hair and exhaled, the work on the restaurant hovering over me like a black rain cloud. “August, if I can get them to speed things up.”
“We’ll be gone in August,” Evan said. “Why not open in July? That way, I can be here. We can invite people from the film community, including the cast and crew before they all leave, too.”
Josh shrugged. “It would be a great marketing opportunity. Marla can start setting up the press release, ad spots, and other promotions. I can throw in more cash as well if it speeds up the process.”
“I don’t want you guys to do that.” I took a deep breath, trying to steady the dread seeping through me at the thought of spending more money I didn’t have. Another loan was looming.
“Money talks, bud. We have a lot of it. We’re all for supporting this thing.” Evan’s arm gripped my shoulder, and he gave it a shake. “We’re here for you also, if you want to ever, you know, be girly and share your feelings and shit. I’m hoping it’ll help lighten your mood.”
“Or start dating that chef again,” Josh intervened.
Evan chuckled. “He doesn’t date. He goes for the sure thing, uses and dumps.”
“I’m confused. Isn’t that what you did, as well?” Josh smirked at Evan.
“Shut the fuck up, prick,” Evan muttered. “Besides, Grace settled me down.”
“And got you pussy-whipped,” Josh countered.
Evan shot back, shoving Josh’s shoulder, “Look who’s talking, married man.” I laughed, missing the camaraderie with my friends. But underneath the surface lurked the truth, which made it difficult to look on the bright side of what I was doing.
Evan was good to women because he did date them, and he let them know where he stood. I was a one-night stand guy. I hadn’t dated a woman…ever. With Hilary, I couldn’t even start. I detested the idea of our relationship being a secret, of being fuck buddies. That term wasn’t good enough to label us. But it didn’t matter because we weren’t serious. It would eventually end, and things would go back to the way they were. At least, I had to hope they would because I had no other choice. I couldn’t lose my family.
Chapter Fifteen
· hilary ·
Those orgasms were long overdue. Holy hell, Zach was everything I needed and more. He was set on putting my pleasure first, a rare commodity in a male. The transformation in his body was incredible. He was so strong, his arms and chest wide. He crushed me against him with power, force, and dexterity that made the experience all the more worth it. I would go at it a million times over, and was convinced I could take on the world with exhilarated assurance flowing through me.
I stared out the window of Grace’s living room, rays of sunshine shooting through the cloudy, gray sky. Thunderstorms were on the horizon, but Texas weather was more finicky than a toddler, changing its mind by the minute. A camera would let me capture the beautiful skies, but taking a picture with my phone wasn’t what I had in mind.
I couldn’t believe Zach and I had gone at it all night long. He didn’t protest when I fell asleep in his arms and woke up in them. Instead of scampering away from me like before, I woke to find him gazing at me, his hands playing with my hair. Before I could say anything, he kissed me. A long, intense, toe-curling kiss.
How had I yielded to him? He was cocky, bossy, and methodical beyond belief, yet I got off on that. Friends and lovers. He seemed to make it a point to not use the term “fuck buddies,” when that was practically the same thing. However, this morning, I’d made it a point to say we weren’t dating.
“I’m not into the relationship thing, Zach. My mid-twenties were consumed with compromising for and submitting to a man. I’m not into it right now.”
“Oh, yeah? That’s good, then.” He sighed with relief, although his eyes held apprehension.
I didn’t know what I had wanted his response to be. I hadn’t expected him to come out and say he loved me or wanted me forever, but I didn’t like hearing him agree with me either.
“No messy stuff. We move on when it’s time to move on. No strings attached, and we stay friends. No matter what, nobody gets hurt. Promise?”
“Promise.” He nodded.
We’d made the rules, so why was I unsure?
“Well, don’t you look satisfied.” Grace smiled. She approached with two mimosas. “To celebrate.”
We clinked our champagne glasses together. “Celebrate what, exactly?”
She took a sip, then turned to her bookshelf and picked up a hardcover. “My memoir made New York Times!” The book had a simple graphic design with the title Before Now.
I cheered her on enthusiastically and asked for a signed copy. She gave me one and discussed the next steps of her promotions. Book signings were underway, along with a few meetings with Evan’s production company.
“Enough about that, though. That’s not all we’re celebrating,” she sang out. I looked at her inquisitively. “I heard you went out with Ben Taylor last night.” I choked on my drink. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, but totally do. Evan told me.”
“Uh…” I forced a grin. “Yeah, wow. My brother’s like all-knowing or something.”
Grace chuckled. “Zach mentioned it to him last night. Quite unhappily, I should add. Evan told him to lighten up. Despite what it might seem, they’re both glad you’re getting out there again. The boys want you happy, Hilary, so do I.” She lifted a brow. “Plus, Ben’s a total dreamboat and a nice guy.”
“He is. Ben’s very nice.”
Grace gaped as her eyes zoomed in on my neck. “Very! Did he give you that hickey?” My hand dashed to the love-mark Zach had left. The makeup didn’t seem to cover it as well as I’d hoped. My heart sped up, and I tried to come up with a valid excuse. My cheeks heated. Grace smiled. “Girl, you will be the envy of every woman in the world.”
“He’s…he’s dreamy.” I chuckled nervously. I wouldn’t confirm or deny. She assumed it was Ben, and I’d let her think it. I had to.
“Well, remind me to give you some of my concealer. You don’t want Evan spotting that thing. You may never see Ben again.”
I shrugged. “I wonder how he’ll react when I tell him that I’m engaged one day.”
Grace thought about it a moment. “He’d prefer that, I think. Reassurance and all.”
“Being engaged doesn’t mean he’ll stick around. Even marriage can’t give the guarantee that someone will stay committed.” I thought of my parents and how my dad had left my mom. She’d never dated after, didn’t even consider going out again.
“That’s true.” Grace sighed, looking at her feet.
My big mouth obviously made Grace anxious. “Are you scared? Of marriage?”
“A bit,” she said coyly.
“Why? My brother would never leave you. He worships you.” My protectiveness shot through. I didn’t want him hurt. When his ex-fiancée had broken his heart, I was sure he would remain a playboy forever. Thank God for Grace. But if she left him, he’d never recover.
Grace giggled. “He hasn’t asked me, and I haven’t said no.”
“So, you’d say yes…right?” I narrowed my eyes. “You’d better say yes.”
A belly laugh erupted from her. “God, you Matthewses are all the same. Fiercely protective and obstinate.” She paused. “I love your brother very much.”
“Don’t ever leave him,” I demanded. “The wedding would be amazing, by the way. Huge. An event!” I glared at her, sensing her unease. “You would say yes, right? You didn’t answer the question.”
“Why don’t you let it drop, and I won�
�t ask about how Ben gave you that hickey?” She smirked at me, her brown eyes shining with mischief.
I blinked, her response unexpected. “You’re good. No wonder Evan’s enamored.”
We chatted the rest of the time about work, discussing the process of finding someone who would eventually take over my job permanently. Stephen, the boss, needed someone stable, which meant that Grace would need to find another place to live or pay full rent. Zach would need to figure out what to do when his lease was up, too. Ben would be leaving soon, as well, and other tenants were lined up, waiting for an interview and confirmation.
A long day passed, and Grace sat back on the couch and sighed. “So, what do you want to do when this job is up? Will you head back to Boston?”
“I applied to get my doctorate, but I’m not sure that’s what I want to do.” I took a deep breath. I’d been putting off decisions for far too long. “I was thinking of taking up photography again. I need the equipment, and I want to start a business, so I guess I’d head back.” I stopped a moment. “I don’t even have a camera.”
“Well, get one soon because I already have several requests.”
I perked up. “Want me to photograph your wedding?”
Grace rolled her eyes. “No, not that. I want you to take my headshots. I need a new author photo.”
“Done. I’d love to.”
Grace continued. “I was also wondering if you’d consider doing photo shoots for potential book covers. I’m going to release a book separate from my publisher.”
“Sure. But aren’t your covers historical romances?” The delight coursed through me and was hard to contain. Creating something from scratch brought me life.
“No, I’m writing a contemporary romance. I’m about half done. I’d be faster at it, but your brother distracts me too much with trips to Disneyland.” She smirked. “And in other ways, of course.”
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