But letting him know what he was doing to her, what was happening to her, felt frighteningly like revealing her soul. Shame suddenly crept over her, shame that she was allowing the kiss, and she struggled to free herself.
Immediately Blake let her go. ‘I’m sorry, Kara, I thought you were ready for this. I want to help you—if I may be permitted to do so? Not all men are the same. You need to know that. There are some good guys around.’
Finally she looked at him. And what she saw in his face was nothing but compassion. He was not judging her or comparing her. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, her voice no more than a husky whisper now. ‘It’s just that I’m not used to—’
‘I know and I understand. I’m sorry I misjudged the timing,’ he said gruffly. ‘Go to your room if you want to.’ And he did indeed look truly sorry. Sad, even.
Kara did not want to leave; she did not want to be alone—not yet. She wanted to feel Blake’s strong arms around her again. They had held comfort and—and something else she could not put a name to. ‘Will you—will you just hold me?’ she asked, feeling tears gathering in her eyes.
His answer was to pull her gently against him, his arms folding round her. How long they sat there like that Kara did not know, but it felt like a very long time. She could feel the regular beat of his heart and peace stole over her until gradually she felt completely at ease with him.
The threatened tears never materialized, and when she eventually went back to her room she felt like a new woman. She even—and this thought really scared her—wondered what it would feel like to have Blake in bed beside her. Except that she knew it would be hard for him, if not impossible, to sleep with her and not want to make love. But she was not ready for that yet.
Her mind was slowly adjusting to the idea that such a relationship could work without her feeling that she was doing something wrong, something her father would not approve of. But he had been such a big influence in her life that it was too soon yet to let go of the old and welcome the new.
At least she was getting there.
Blake’s eyes caught Kara’s as she joined the conference the next day. Her confession last night had knocked him for six. Any man who hurt a woman, whether it was physically or verbally, was the lowest of the low as far as he was concerned. And her father’s abuse had certainly left Kara with some problems.
She had trembled so much when he had held her that he had feared she might break down. It was a miracle that she had grown into the competent woman she was. Clearly work had been her saviour. Only when she was working was she in control of herself.
Certainly she had been on edge in his suite. He had felt her fear. But then, surprisingly, she had let him kiss her. It had taken every ounce of his not inconsiderable self-control to contain the kiss. How he had managed it he was not sure, and as delicate as it had been it had still sent a raging heat through his body.
Kara had no idea how lovely she was—how sexy, how alluring. He could understand now why she always dressed down, why she never made anything of herself. If she dressed as most of the other women in the office did then she would have every man in the company after her. And that, he realised now, was the last thing he wanted.
She did not know it, but after he had kissed her her eyes had assumed a sparkle he had never seen before, and her skin had glowed. It had been the hardest thing in the world not to kiss her again. And even harder to let her return to her room!
‘Are you all right?’ he asked her now. ‘Did you sleep well?’
‘Yes, thank you,’ she answered, her eyes meeting his shyly. ‘And I’m sorry about last night.’
He shook his head. ‘Think nothing of it. You have nothing to be sorry for.’ He was the one who was sorry—sorry that she had been caused such suffering at the hands of a monster like her father. His blood still boiled every time he thought about it.
‘It actually helped, telling someone,’ she admitted with a wry twist to her lips. ‘I didn’t think it would. I’ve kept it bottled up all these years. But when I went back to my room I felt a sense of relief. I slept better than I’ve done in a long time.’
‘Then I’m glad that I could be of service.’ How any man could treat his daughter like that he had no idea. It was perhaps fortunate that he was no longer alive or he would have felt like confronting him, giving him a taste of his own medicine. He wasn’t usually a violent man, but anyone who could harm his own flesh and blood did not deserve to be treated humanely.
‘And the opera tonight? Are you looking forward to that too?’
Kara nodded. ‘Actually, yes, I am.’ After last night she felt much more at ease with Blake. Whether it was because he now knew something about her past, or because she had spent so much time with him and got to know him better she wasn’t sure. But she was beginning to see him as a man instead of her boss. A good-looking, sexy man who had lit a fire inside her. The idea that confession was good for the soul had certainly been true in her case. She felt as though a great big weight had been lifted from her shoulders and now there was a whole bright new future ahead.
‘I thought we might have dinner somewhere first. Unless you’d prefer to eat after the theatre?’
‘I think before.’ She could imagine that a late dinner would lead to a late evening, and that could lead to…
Kara allowed her thoughts to go no further. The way she had relaxed in Blake’s company last night, responded to him, still scared her slightly. It was hard to get it out of her mind.
‘What do I wear?’ she asked him now. ‘I’m not sure I have anything suitable.’
Blake smiled. ‘The black dress you wore the other night will be perfect, Kara.’
Dinner was everything Kara had expected it to be. The restaurant was not far from the theatre, and served exquisite food in stunning surroundings. She chose sole fillet with asparagus for her main course, and it was truly the most delicious fish she had ever eaten.
But her attention was not on the food. It was on Blake instead. Ever since that kiss he had filled her body and her mind, and she was beginning to wonder whether it was wise spending so much time with him. Her heart seemed to have developed a mind of its own, fluttering like a captured bird whenever he spoke to her, whenever he was near.
‘What are you thinking?’
His voice was low and gruff and it created an unimaginable stream of sensations that sped through her body like a fast-flowing waterfall. Sitting opposite him like this, feeling his oh-so-attractive grey eyes constantly on her, was not a situation she felt comfortable with. ‘I was actually wondering what I’m doing here.’
An instant frown caused his dark brows to scurry together. ‘You are not looking forward to the opera?’
‘Of course I am. But—’ How could she explain how she felt? ‘I’m actually nervous about spending time with you.’
Blake reached across the table and rested his hand on her arm. ‘Kara, all I want is for you to enjoy some free time, which I fear has been lacking in your life.’
He dared not say that besides wanting to spend time getting to know her he wanted to make love with her. It would send her scuttling for shelter more quickly than if she was fleeing a thunderstorm. But the truth was the more time he spent with her, the more excited his body became, the more hungry he grew. Kara was without a doubt one very intriguing female—sexier, he guessed, than she had ever dreamt she could be. She lit fires within him that would never be assuaged until he had made her his. But he would never, ever force himself on her. If and when they did make love it would be because she wanted it too.
‘I do trust you, Blake,’ she said now, her eyes wide and beautiful and more violet than blue.
He wished that she had not used those words because it made him feel ashamed of his thoughts. He squeezed her hand and then let it go.
Faust was everything Kara had expected—and more. She sat entranced throughout the whole performance, hardly even aware of Blake at her side, or the fact that his eyes were often on her, or that his han
d held hers. Tears ran down her cheeks at the end, when Marguerite mounted the scaffold where she was to be hanged for killing her child—Faust’s child.
Blake produced a handkerchief and dabbed at her tears. At the same time his arm came around her, holding her firmly against him.
‘That was lovely,’ she managed to say. ‘I truly enjoyed it.’
‘And that is why you are crying?’
‘It was sad, but beautiful too. Thank you for tonight. It is an evening I will always remember.’
In the car on their way back to the hotel Kara did not mind when he put his arm around her again. She nestled her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt as though she was in another world—a world where bad things never happened, where there was light and laughter…and Blake!
If anyone had asked her a few weeks ago whether she fancied her boss she would have laughed at them, would have declared herself a man-free zone. But all that was changing, and Blake was the reason. He was giving her confidence in herself, assuring her that she was a very beautiful woman—and at the same time revealing that he was enchanted by her. Blake Benedict enchanted by her! It was the stuff of dreams.
‘Shall we indulge in a nightcap?’ he asked as they stepped out of the private lift that had swiftly taken them up to his suite.
Kara surprised herself by agreeing. She had enjoyed his company so much this evening that she did not want to be on her own again yet. There was something about Blake here in Italy that was different. He was charming and considerate and she truly felt relaxed with a man for the very first time in her life.
‘What would you like?’ he asked. ‘Brandy, perhaps? Or maybe wine?’
‘Actually, coffee would be good—if that doesn’t sound too boring?’
‘Coffee it is, then, and it doesn’t sound in the least boring. In fact it’s probably wise.’
He lifted the phone as he spoke, and Kara loved hearing him speak in Italian. It made him seem excitingly different. It added to the glamour of the evening. It was hard to believe that she was here again with her boss at this time of night and they were going to settle down for a quiet drink together. She needed to be fresh and alert tomorrow. Perhaps it had been a mistake coming here. Maybe she ought to have gone straight to her room and to bed.
And in the end it was the coffee that proved to be her undoing. As she sat opposite Blake in a deep comfortable chair, nervously aware that his eyes never left her, Kara’s hand trembled as she took a sip of her drink and some of the hot liquid spilled down the front of her dress.
Instantly Blake jumped up, took the cup from her, and began dabbing his handkerchief on the stain. It was a much too intimate gesture, and Kara’s heart began to thud painfully against her ribcage—especially when he draped his arm around her shoulders to hold her steady. ‘It’s all right, Blake, it’s nothing. I—’
Her words were cut off when his eyes met hers, when she saw the dark hunger in them, when all the breath seemed to leave her body.
‘Forgive me—I have to do this,’ he said, his voice rougher than she had ever heard it. And she swiftly realised that he wasn’t talking about the damp mark on her dress, but something far more intimate.
And, amazingly, this time her lips were ready for his. The rhythm of her heart altered and she closed her eyes. Why fight the inevitable? All evening she had been far too aware of Blake to not want to experience his kiss again.
Blake quickly realised that what he had intended as a gentle kiss, not wanting to frighten her, or rush her into anything that she was still not ready for, was swiftly turning into something else. Kara’s lips had parted on a sigh that suggested secret desire, and when he cautiously deepened the kiss, when he felt her response, when she kissed him back with a hunger that took him by surprise, he was unable to stop himself.
Fire built between them as their tongues entwined and danced and tasted and explored, as he nibbled her lower lip and she did the same to him. Every pulse in his body threatened to explode. And he knew that it would take every ounce of self-control to put her away from him afterwards.
Kara found it difficult to breathe; she could not understand what was happening to her. How could she allow Blake to kiss her like this? How could she want his kiss when she had always hated men with a vengeance? The lure had been building from day one, and the taster she’d had yesterday had woken something inside her, but even so …
Cautiously she risked looking at him, and her breath caught in her throat when she saw the raw desire in his eyes—gone in an instant, shielded from her gaze. If any man had looked at her like that in the past she would have run a mile, but she knew without a shadow of doubt that Blake would never pressure her into anything that she was not ready for.
And the fact was—and this was as much of a surprise to her as it would be to Blake—she actually wanted him to make love to her.
She closed her eyes again, allowing the moment to seep into her mind, into her bones, into her heart, feeling an unaccustomed ache in the lower regions of her stomach. If Blake ended the kiss now she would feel bereft. She would have had a taste of heaven snatched away from her as quickly as it had arisen.
Of their own volition her arms snaked around him, trapping him, her body urging itself against his raw masculine hardness. It shocked and excited her at the same time. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever envisaged that she would be in a situation like this.
The wild throb of his heart beating against her own told her without words that excitement ran through his veins too, and that he was also deeply affected by what was happening.
Why, she asked herself, when for nearly a year she had worked for this man without ever feeling anything, was this happening now? No, that was wrong. She had been aware of him; how could any woman not be? But her fears were such that she had allowed her thoughts no purchase.
Now they were in danger of escaping the tight confines she had kept on them—in fact they had already escaped. They were not at the galloping stage yet, but they were sufficiently free of their reins to taste freedom. And, oh, how she liked it.
Based on pure instinct now, she ground her hips against him, shocked by his hardness, but actually glorying in the fact that she was able to do this to a man. To Blake. Not any man—never any man. Would he allow her to set the pace? Already she was in danger of running rather than walking, and she could hear the drumbeats of her heart echoing in her ears.
Words seemed irrelevant. Words would shatter the atmosphere that cocooned them. And when Blake trailed his fingers down the exposed arch of her throat, pausing on the fluttering pulse he found there before moving lower to feel the soft swell of her breast, Kara’s breath caught in her throat. Her eyes fluttered open.
Blake was watching her, gauging her reaction, but she saw behind the reassurance he sought a hunger that matched her own. The grey of his eyes had deepened to charcoal, almost blending with the blackness of his pupils, though when he saw her looking at him he instantly lowered his lashes.
Kiss followed kiss followed kiss—deep, heart-stopping kisses that sent her spinning into a world she did not recognise, a world where senses were paramount. In these last few minutes she had become a woman—a woman filled with emotions she had often wondered about but never expected to experience. She felt as though she had been born again. And she wanted this moment to go on for ever.
It was disappointing, therefore, when Blake lifted his head, when his hands fell to his sides. Her first thought was that she had let him down, and she felt tears welling—until he tentatively suggested that they make themselves more comfortable.
Which must be why they ended up in bed!
Kara could only vaguely remember Blake lifting her into his arms and carrying her to his bedroom. For some reason her mind had gone numb. She had been aware of nothing except the feelings churning round and round inside her—feelings that needed both feeding and assuaging.
What had begun as a tingle had developed into a stampede of pulses, of hot pounding
blood, of her heart beating so hard and so fast that she was afraid it would burst.
And all because he had kissed her!
Except that a kiss from Blake was more than just a kiss. It was a full-scale attack on her defences. It stripped away barriers, leaving her open and vulnerable. And bursting with excitement! If this was what making love was all about then she was glad that she had not gone through her whole life without ever knowing what she was missing.
Their kisses became more intense, more hungry, more everything, in fact. Not only did he kiss her mouth, make it his, sucking and nibbling, creating deep wells of passion that both shocked and thrilled her, he trailed kisses down the arch of her throat, causing her head to fall back in utter abandonment, and somehow he managed to remove her clothes at the same time.
When she heard his swift intake of breath Kara did not know what was the matter—until she felt his fingers touch a certain place on her back. Then she knew!
‘How did you get this scar?’ he asked, his voice unusually quiet.
Kara struggled with the truth, but decided that she needed to be honest. ‘It’s from the buckle on my father’s belt. He didn’t mean to hurt me that badly.’ Not that he had ever said that, or even apologised. He’d been blind drunk at the time.
‘Whether he meant it or not, it should never have happened,’ growled Blake. ‘Did he beat your mother as well?’
Kara nodded.
Blake swore.
‘It’s a good job he is no longer alive or I would have great difficulty in keeping my hands off him. Only cowards hit women. Did you never report him, Kara?’
‘I was too afraid,’ she confessed. ‘He was a very big man. He’d probably have killed me.’
Blake swore again under his breath and cradled Kara in his arms. He held her for a long time, until he felt them both relax again, until he was able to push to the back of his mind everything that was bad and evil.
A Night With Consequences Page 5