Beautiful Broken Mess b-2

by Kimberly Lauren

  “You’re not really going to carry me all the way back to the car, are you?”

  “I carried a backpack every day last year that was heavier than you,” he replies, without a hitch in his breathing.

  “Why isn’t your backpack as heavy this year?” I ask.

  “Well, aren’t you perceptive?” he states with a laugh.

  “I’ve spent my whole life observing.”

  “I was double-majoring up until this year,” he reveals. “It was stupid of me.”

  “I’m sure it was anything but stupid, Jace. What were your two majors?”

  “I was in Pre-med because I thought that’s what my dad wanted me to do. But I always wanted to take over his company, so I was also in Business. I dropped Pre-med,” he says the last part quietly, almost as if he’s ashamed.

  “I’m glad you dropped it.”

  “Why?” he rasps out, sounding stunned.

  “Because, I always thought you would follow in your dad’s footsteps. Even though we weren’t together, Jace, I absorbed every piece of information I ever heard about you when Jax and I were together. I never saw you being happy as a doctor.”

  He continues quietly toward his car. I can tell he’s surprised by my words. While being a doctor is a noble profession, he should always go after what he wants and not what others think that he should do. When I escaped my past by moving to California, I vowed I would never do something that made me unhappy. While accounting isn’t the most exciting occupation in the world, I’m good at it and that makes me happy.

  “I can’t imagine working toward two separate degrees. Just the one I got was hard enough. I always thought Lane was crazy for coming back for a second bachelor’s, and now he’s getting a master’s with me.”

  “Wow, I didn’t realize you were so far ahead. No wonder I finally found you Friday morning in an advanced Accounting class. So, Lane’s older than us?”

  “Yeah, he’s twenty-eight. He already went to school once and graduated in the Criminal Justice field. He never talks about his past, not even to me, but I think something terrible happened. A long time ago, he mentioned that he flipped a one-eighty and tried to go in the exact opposite of his previous life. Criminal Justice to Accounting; doesn’t get more diverse than that.”

  “Earlier he told me he might be going out of town for a week,” Jace says.

  I groan loudly and the sound vibrates from my chest into his back. “He does this every once in a while and never comes back happy. It usually takes another week before he’s back to his cheerful self. I have no idea where he goes.”

  We reach his car finally and he says, “I don’t mind keeping you company.”

  I slip down the backside of his body and my feet hit the ground. I watch as he pops the trunk of his car open, pulling out a small, black toolbox.

  He extends his hand toward me with his palm up and says, “Penny, please.” I squeeze it tighter in my fist. I wanted to keep it. It was supposed to be my trinket to always remember him by, not that I could ever forget.

  When I continue staring at my closed hand, he laughs and says, “I promise to give it back.” Those words are exactly what I need to hear.

  When he picks the penny out of my palm, he leans over and kisses my lips with a soft peck. Then he starts to dig through the toolbox, although I’m not sure what he’s looking for. I hop up onto the ledge of the open trunk and stare out into the dark distance. Jace tinkers away beside me and I soak in this simple time with him. Could it really all come together this easily? Could we finally get to be together? Was time all we needed? As two high school kids, it wasn’t our time. But maybe now that we’ve become adults, could this be our time?

  “How come you only drive Jaxon’s car?” I ask to interrupt my confusing thoughts.

  “Because it’s my car now,” he says, while continuing to work with his hands in the dark. “He gave it to me this past summer. I was always working on it and keeping it in shape anyway, but I never thought he would just hand over the keys like that. I love this car because it reminds me so much of my dad.”

  “Wow, that was nice of him,” I say on an exhale.

  “Yeah…” he sighs. “Just another reason why I feel so shitty about going behind his back like this. I’ll tell him, I promise, Audrey. But you have to understand how hard it is. We always promised each other that we wouldn’t date each other’s girls, past or present. I just need to find the right way to tell him, but for now, I want to see where this goes.” He gestures with his finger between the two of us.

  So, what he’s saying is that he wants to be with me, but he needs to keep it on the down low. How do I feel about that? I would never let it be a permanent situation, but it doesn’t sound like that’s what he’s asking. I can hold on just a little while longer. At least I can still have him in the meantime. That’s what I’ve always wanted anyway. Jace. It’s always been Jace.

  I nod my head in agreement and then add, “But I’m not your girlfriend until I get a real first date.”

  “Damn, I was hoping I could give this to my girl tonight,” he chuckles. Slowly, he lifts up his hand and a silver chain dangles from his fingers. My eyes follow the series of links until I see that my penny is suspended from the end of it. Somehow he made a tiny hole in the metal and strung a chain through it.

  “Wow, you just made me a necklace?” I ask incredulously.

  His hands move the length of my hair aside and he drapes it over my shoulder. Then he wraps the chain around my neck, clasping the two ends together. I look down at the penny lying just above my breasts.

  “I’ve walked passed so many pennies in my life, never bothering to pick them up because none of them were ever appealing to me. Then one day, I literally crashed into the most gorgeous penny I’d ever seen, so I picked her up off the ground, wiped away her tears, and became mesmerized by her every movement. Stupidly, I let that penny get away from me, and I’ve regretted it ever since. You were my lucky penny, Audrey, and I’ve been dreaming about you for years.”

  I can probably count on one hand the number of times I remember crying in my life. Three of those times have been because of Jace, and two of them occurred today. Tears well up in my eyes at his sweet words. How many times have I secretly girl-crushed, imagining Jace confessing his feelings for me? Never, not even in one of my dreams, did they come out like that.

  “Babe, no more crying. You’ve reached your quota for the day,” he says, as he once again wipes my eyes.

  I laugh through my tears and insist, “These aren’t sad ones.”

  I stand up on my toes, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him without warning. He is mine to take, whenever I want. Although a little voice in the back of my head annoyingly adds: Yes, except when Jaxon is around.

  - Eleven -

  JACE -

  The futon bar pushes further into my ribcage as I begin to stir awake. Groaning, I shift to try and escape the evil bar that is determined to separate me from Audrey. I don’t understand how it doesn’t drive her fucking insane. Although I tossed and turned last night, I’d do it a thousand times more just to have her next to me all night long. Hopefully, I’ll soon be taking her back to my bed.

  Last night when I asked to stay the night, I didn’t consider the true test of my willpower that would be required to resist her naked body beside me. Especially her begging-to-be-touched naked body. So much had happened last night, from the horrendous to the magnificent. I had witnessed her cry, twice in one evening. I felt like there were too many raw emotions and it would be better for her to sleep on it all. Trust me though, I was in pain all night long, and it wasn’t just the metal bar in my back causing it.

  I run my hand lightly down the length of her side. Her soft skin feels like silk against my fingertips. All I can feel is skin. My fingers don’t have to detour across any clothing on her entire body. Audrey sleeps naked, well except for my penny around her neck. She sleeps like this, even when she’s by herself. Incredibly, it’s not to seduce a
guy, but purely because that’s what makes her comfortable. An unforeseen growl rolls through my chest at the idea of other guys in her bed. She begins to stir at my possessive vibration.

  Her back is tucked into my chest, but I peer over and watch her eyelashes as they begin to flutter open. She stretches her arms above her head and I run my hands up them to extend the stretch. One of her hands comes back down to her neck and I smile as she checks for the necklace. The act makes me kiss the back of her neck underneath her hairline.

  Her back arches and it causes her ass to press into me. This time a groan rumbles past my lips at the fucking remarkable feeling of her unbelievable body against my willing and ready one.

  “Please don’t say you’re planning to make me wait again…” she whispers in her sexy as hell hoarse morning voice.

  “I couldn’t even if I tried. If I don’t get some relief from this body right here,” I say in a low undertone, while cupping her breasts and grinding into her from behind, “I might explode. You’re a tease even when you sleep.”

  “Sorry…” she says on a moan.

  “Are you though?”

  “No,” she chuckles quietly. That’s my girl. Slowly, while lying on our sides, we move against one another. It’s a lot like the way we danced together last Thursday night, except now we’re naked and alone. I’ll take this with her any day. I reach behind my head and grab the waiting condom before putting it on.

  I lift her top leg and hitch it up by holding the back of her knee. The closer contact makes her groan into her pillow.

  “Do you want me?” I ask.

  “More than air,” she breathes out instantly. Because I know she’s ready from all the grinding, I slip inside of her, inch by inch. Pausing, I wait for her to adjust to my size. When I begin to move, she lets out a strangled cry and urges me to keep going. Yes, ma’am.

  Hours. I could do this with her for fucking hours. Days. Months. Hell, probably even years. Please just deliver my food and all other necessities to this bed, because if anyone wants me to leave, they will have to drag my ass out.

  For years my body has craved what I now hold in my hands. I tried to feed it with what I thought it needed, and yet there’s something about finally letting your body have what it’s always desired. You can try and create feelings, but you can’t deny true attraction. Audrey feeds my soul with her strength and beauty.

  “God, you feel amazing,” I groan. My speed amps up, but it’s still a slower pace than my usual. Lazy morning sex does have its perks. It’s relaxing and slow versus the frantic kind you have at night in the backseat of a car after drinking too much. I pull her arms up and she bends them backward, grabbing onto my head. Her fingers scratch through my hair as she holds on. I bring her top leg up closer to her body so I can get further in.

  So many times I feel her get close, but then she calms down and doesn’t let go. Damn, I’m so fucking close, but I can’t do anything until she gets her release first. I feel her building back up as she squeezes around me and clenches my hair in her fists, but then she whimpers and holds it in.

  In an instant, I have her flipped around so we’re still lying on our sides, but now we’re face-to-face. She appears shocked at the sudden movement. I push back inside of her and we both groan and cry out. I lay my hands on the top of her head so my forearms can craft a barrier around our faces. I use my arms to block out all other distractions around us and I look directly into her darkened eyes.

  “You. Are. Killing. Me,” I say, emphasizing each word. “What are you doing?”

  “I just… don’t want this to end. I want to delay it as long as possible.”

  I lean forward, kiss her perfect lips, and say, “Let go, baby. I’m not going anywhere. There will be so much more for us, I swear.”

  Relief encompasses her face at my words, and I feel like a complete jackass for not paying better attention. This is why I demand to be in control. When I release the reins a bit, her needs aren’t being met like they should.

  I continue surrounding her face while I kiss her lips hungrily. She matches my desire, kiss for kiss. A slight sheen of sweat covers both of our bodies and together we find our release in the same moment. Mine is amplified by our closeness. She’s directly in front of me, touching almost every inch of my body. The only thing I can see is her. The only thing I can smell is her. The only thing I can feel is...her. Hasn’t it always been her? It should have been.

  Slowly, I roll away and simultaneously pull her body partially on top of me. She hikes a leg over mine and lays her small hand over my stomach. Her face tucks in between my chin and shoulder and she snuggles in close. I lean toward her, drawing in the soft, clean scent of her hair.

  For the next couple of hours, we fall in and out of a light sleep, as my fingers make small circles on her hipbone. Later when I wake up, the sun is much brighter than it was the first time I looked out the window. I stretch out my arms and feel the empty spaces on either side of me. She cannot be serious. I’d like to wake up just once where she hasn’t either disappeared or kicked me in the nuts.

  The door flies open and Audrey quickly tiptoes in, holding two steaming mugs. In only her bra, panties, and my penny necklace. Fumes have to be shooting out of my ears because I swear if Lane saw her, I’ll lose my fucking mind.

  She’s distracted with the scalding hot mugs in her hands, so she just smiles and heads toward her desk to set them down. I sit up, scoot to the edge of the futon, and catch the door before it can close behind her.

  “Lane! Are you gay?” I shout, loud enough so I can be heard throughout the entire apartment.

  “Uh...not the last time I checked,” he hollers, sounding confused. Yeah, I didn’t think so. A slow growl rumbles up through my chest and then I hear Lane’s deep laugh build louder and louder from his room. “Was she walking around naked again?” he yells. “Did I miss it?” he adds to fuck with me, I’m sure.

  “Audrey!” I shout and Lane’s laugh becomes hysterical. Quickly, I slam the door and turn to look at her. Her eyes are wide because of my tone of voice. A look of terror splays across her face, but I quietly wait for it to pass. She needs to learn that there will be times that we’ll yell, argue, and be upset with one another, but I would never, absolutely ever, hurt her. She quickly catches her error and wipes the fright away. Good girl. Now there’s only shock on her face.

  I scramble to my feet, trying to untangle myself from the sheets, and stalk toward her. She backs up into the desk and latches onto the edge. Frustration rolls off me in waves as I get a closer look at her tight little body that she just put on parade. Her eyes lick a slow path from my bare feet all the way up to my eyes. Every emotion that was on her face has been replaced with scorching lust.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Audrey. Now’s not the time,” I say in a deep, hushed tone. As I advance closer to her, she bites down on her bottom lip and pulls it into her mouth. “Stop, Audrey. I’m not happy with you right now.”

  The second the corner of her lip quirks up into a smirk, I’m a goner. What am I doing? Why am I mad? All I can focus on now is that plump lip being abused by her pearly white teeth. Her fingers run up my chest and wrap around my neck, and those big brown eyes gaze up at me with pure innocence.

  Forty minutes later, Audrey crumples down onto my chest, panting and out of breath. Her legs are still straddling me on either side of my body, and my hands still have a death grip on her thighs.

  “I hope you learned your lesson,” I breathe out.

  She chuckles against my skin and says, “Oh, I most definitely learned something.” When I pinch her ass, she yelps and jolts off of my body, landing next to me.

  My face becomes solemn and I turn to look at her. “I’m serious. I don’t like you walking around like that for him to see.”

  “He’s already seen ever-”

  I instantly silence what she’s about to say by swiftly putting my finger over her lips. “Babe, I suggest you not finish that sentence unless you want to see
me go nuclear. No more,” I say and quickly add, “Please?”

  Her hands cup my face and she nods her head. “I promise.”

  I lean in and take her lips forcefully because it’s still hitting me hard that she’s mine. She doesn’t mind though, and she doles it out just as well as she takes it. After a few more minutes of making out like teenagers, she pulls back and releases an exaggerated breath.

  “What are your plans for the day?” she asks.

  “I seriously have to get to the gym today or Jaxon’s going to be able to kick my ass soon.” I laugh to myself before adding, “Nah, that won’t ever happen, but I do need to get in there.”

  Her fingers outline my stomach muscles and she says, “Hmm...well, we wouldn’t want to lose any of this, now would we?” Her voice is low and seductive and starting to amp me up again.

  I grasp her fingers tightly. “We’ll never get out of this bed today if you keep this up. Besides, I have to take this hot girl out on a date tonight. I’m kind of hoping she’ll agree to be my girlfriend,” I say, smirking at her.

  A sexy blush creeps up her neck and dusts over her cheeks. “And what if she says no?” she challenges.

  I lean in and whisper from her neck up to her ear, “Then she must not have heard me right, because I’m pretty sure she’s just as crazy about me as I am about her.”

  With a quivering voice, she responds, “I don’t blame the girl. Lucky bitch.”

  “If anyone’s the fortunate one here, it’s me, babe.” Slowly, I push myself up to get out of bed because if I don’t, I’ll end up lazing around all day with her in my arms. I’m not sure why that’s a bad thing though. “What are you up to today?” I ask.

  “Not much. I have a few errands to run, and I think Em and Quinn wanted to meet up.”

  “You’re seriously going to have to tell me how that friendship came about at some point. Don’t get me wrong, I love Em to death so I think it’s fantastic. It’s just not something I ever would have expected.”

  “Trust me, it’s still a bit strange for me when I really think about it. Em was just...Em, you know? We hit it off.”