by JP Epperson
“Really, Colton? You walked away from me. Not the other way around. Don’t try to act all protective now. Where have you been all these years? I work alone now and that’s just the way it is, thanks to you. Anyway, back to the topic at hand. No, I mean as if someone took away his choices and made them for him. He was begging and screaming no. It was as if he was . . .”
“Under mind control, as in influenza della mente?” His left eyebrow rose as he made the suggestion. “That is a very ancient demonic ability and rarely used. So rare that to this day, I’ve still only witnessed it on two occasions. Both were missions with you, and each was a case of higher-level demons controlling politicians. I’ve never even heard of the gift being wasted on lower-level demons. This kid is wanted by everyone! We have to figure out what they want him for.”
Colton shook his head and our eyes met; it seemed as though we both carried a load of regret on our hearts. I just didn’t know if his regret was for losing me or losing everything else. The only thing I knew for sure was that he fooled me, and I would never let that happen again.
Somewhere in the back of my head, there was also a little doubt where Colton was concerned. Had there been signs that he was falling? If I had been paying better attention, could I have saved him? Did I fail him? I have never failed at anything, but my lover, my friend, my partner was going corrupt, and I hadn’t had a clue.
There were signs, a lot of them, but I thought they were signs of him falling out of love with me, not falling from Heaven.
Somehow, I got the feeling that I failed him as much as he failed me. My eyes must have betrayed the doubt and guilt I was secretly holding. Colton slowly stood up and walked to the bar area where I was standing. I turned my back to him as he walked up behind me, but he put his hands around my waist. My heart was racing. I tried to walk away, but he gently turned me around so that we were face-to-face. I silently scolded myself for noticing the details of his lips. I remembered the feel of those lips against mine; so soft, like kissing butterfly wings and yet they could be oh-so-fierce when the moment called for it. The feel of his hands against my skin made my breath catch and I shivered with pleasure. No matter how my mind or heart felt, it seemed that my body still craved his touch.
As he turned me to face him, his fingertips delicately traced along the scars on my back. I hadn’t realized I’d closed my eyes until I felt his kiss on the tender skin of my neck. I shuddered at the feel of his warm breath against my throat. I had the sudden urge to rip off his shirt, to run my teeth along his chiseled chest.
Don’t give in, don’t give in . . .
He lifted me onto the bar and my legs tightened around his waist automatically.
Oh God, yes . . .
My head swung back, overcome by desire as Colton’s hot moist lips worked their magic all over my neck and my blood-soaked chest. His mouth found mine and our tongues met in feverish longing as we tried to consume one another. I felt the hard length of him against me, and a small moan escaped from my mouth. That was it; I could not hold back any longer. I ripped his shirt off, ready to take him. I could feel things below tightening with the need to have him inside me. Colton’s mouth began to work even more fiercely against my body, as if he could sense my need.
I was ready for him to satisfy the craving my body had ached for ever since he was cast from Heaven. He was still the only one I had ever been intimate with, the only one I ever wanted, and after he fell, I’d known I would never again feel the way I felt with him.
It was that thought that brought me back to my senses.
He ripped my heart out.
In a matter of moments, he had destroyed every happy memory I had ever known. He’d left me jaded, and I would never recover. I shoved him off me abruptly and attempted to look pissed off instead of hurt, but sure I was failing miserably. He did not fight my rejection but instead accepted it with grace. I saw the recognition in his tortured eyes that he knew how much he hurt me, broke me, and would never again get back what he lost.
It was quiet for a moment while we both regained our composure and our heavy breathing slowed. “I failed you, my Beauty,” he said, as his hands rested on the bar countertop on both sides of me.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt as vulnerable as I did in that moment. I made it a point not to express weakness to anyone, but as he said my Beauty, I could not stop the single silent tear from falling. When he was still an angel and we were alone, Colton always called me my Beauty.
“Please let go of any sorrow, guilt, or self-doubt you carry over me, because you could not have saved me. I didn’t realize I was even falling until it was too late, but ever since I was cast out I have done nothing but try to find my way back home. Back to you.”
Well, damn.
Chapter Five
I gave him another mild shove as I swiftly moved out of his reach.
“I can’t do this, Colton. Your words are pretty, but for all I know, they’re all lies. You turned on me. You betrayed me in every possible way. We were in love, and I know in my heart that we both were. But you pushed me away. You kept secrets and lied constantly.”
I fought to keep my voice steady. Colton’s eyes bored into mine. He started to speak, but I held up a hand and he fell silent.
“Every time I suspected you were hiding something, you would lie and turn it around on me. You broke me down night after night for weeks, then the next day you would tell me how sorry you were and that you loved me deeply. Like a fool, I believed you every time you said sorry only to end up heartbroken again. I will never let anyone have that much power over me again, Colton, especially you. I won’t go back down that road with you again. Things will never be the same, ever. What we had is gone. You must accept it is time to move on.”
I felt like my heart was shattering all over again. I had been telling myself to accept it was over and move on for so long, but it wasn’t until I said it out loud that I realized I meant it. Even if by some miracle Colton managed to receive a welcome back to Heaven, it would not change anything between us. I just could not risk the chance of another betrayal. Colton might have been physically in one hell, but I was in an emotional and mental hell all of my own, and he was the one that sent me there.
“Belleeza, I will never give up on us. There is so much you don’t understand about how and why I fell.” He sighed as he came to my side once more.
“Tell me then, Colton. How did it happen? What made you decide to switch sides? Why did I lose you?” I fought back the tears threatening to escape from my eyes.
“Let’s not do this. We can’t erase the past, so there is no reason to keep living in it. Let’s move forward—together.”
“Are you kidding me, Colton? You rip my life apart, force yourself back into it, and then refuse to tell me why you did what you did? I think that answers everything for me perfectly. I’m done with this topic. Back to business—strictly business.”
I shook my head as I walked toward the bedroom to shower and change.
“Belleeza, you don’t understand. I can’t, I want to . . . You just don’t understand!”
“You’re right, I don’t! Just forget it, Colton, it doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, with my back still turned toward him. “You were a mistake, Colton. A lesson to be learned the hard way. Love is weakness. You made me weak, and I won’t allow it to happen again.”
There was silence and I turned around to look at him. He started to stretch out a hand and then withdrew it.
“Please don’t say those words. I was the weak one, not you. I got . . . caught up in something, and I let you down.”
“What, Colton? What did you get caught up in?’
“I can’t say.” His voice was strained and his eyes pleading. Desperate. “Believe me, I want nothing more than to tell you. But I’ve been forbidden to speak of it to anyone.”
I considered him for a moment. My heart did a leap at the mere thought he was not only willing but desperately wanted to tell me everything. I needed a mo
ment to gather my thoughts and started to turn away.
“Look out!” Colton’s voice was suddenly filled with panic.
I turned and my blood ran cold.
We were surrounded by half a dozen demons..
Instantly, I held a dagger in my left hand and my sword in my right. I lunged just as two of the demons pounced at me. The one on the right reached me first; I pierced him harshly in the stomach with my dagger and he cried out with an anguish-filled scream. Then, with a powerful thrust, I slid the dagger upward toward his heart and did not stop until I felt it hit home, tearing his heart in half and drenching my arms in the liquid warmth of his blood.
Suddenly I was shrieking as the other demon ripped my right arm backward with such a force I could feel it tear; my sword fell from my hand and I realized that he was about to relieve me of my entire arm. That just would not do. I rushed forward at him with full speed, pinning him to the wall with all the strength I had. Colton let out a roar and I could not help but to risk a glance. It was four against one, and he was powerless but for his human weapons.
I had to admire him for holding his own while only having human strength. Being stripped meant Colton was not as fast or strong as the demons he was facing. He was still such a skilled fighter. Just then, one of the demons unexpectedly got the drop on him as the other three distracted him. The fourth demon disappeared and reemerged directly behind Colton, plunging a knife more than ten inches long into his back. I saw his eyes go wide in surprise as he looked down and saw the other half of the blade sticking out of his stomach.
I screamed in fury as I saw him fall to his knees. He looked at me with a look which made my entire soul fill with such rage. It was a look of love. It said everything was going to be all right.
And it was a lie.
He was trying to tell me goodbye with that one look, and I was not about to lose him again. Not like that.
With a wrath unlike any other, I used my one good arm and ripped the head off the demon I held pinned to the wall. It was both messy and painful. His cries turned from shrieks, to gagging, and finally silence. I picked up my sword with my left hand before racing to Colton’s side; thankfully, I trained with my left hand as much as with my right. The cowards held him on his knees. One held his left arm, one his right, and one stood behind him with a death grip on his hair and a short blade against his throat. The one at Colton’s head looked as if he had just escaped from an insane asylum. He was bald with a wide smile across his face. He looked at me, and his eyes were wild with excitement.
Though I took in everything as if time had reduced speed to slow motion, it had really been less than a few minutes. The last demon stood in front of the area where the others held Colton. He held his hands on his hips and had a smirk on his face as if he knew that he had me beat. Time quickly caught back up and I rushed at the demon blocking my view of Colton. I charged him, bringing my sword down as I landed a front flip that ended in a crouched position. The top half of his body slid down my sword diagonally as he crumbled to the floor, still bearing the smirk on his face.
Finally, I was on the verge of reaching Colton. I should have realized as I approached them, smug cocky looks upon their faces, that this was all too easy. From the moment the demons entered our room, only minutes had gone by, but still I was able to take in everything—from the looks on their faces to the mud and dirt on their shoes.
Yet as much as I saw, I could not foresee what was to happen next. I was barreling toward Colton when a seventh demon emerged directly behind me. I didn’t even have a chance to see his face before he shoved a sword through my back and out of the center of my chest. He laughed as he twisted it, pulling the blade out slowly as though he were relishing the pain he was causing me. Unlike the blade used on Colton, this blade was a demonic relic. I could feel its power spreading throughout my body like an uncontrollable poison, aimed solely at destroying the parts of me that made me an angel.
Fear began to creep up on me before rage overrode it and took over. My movements were slowing but I did not cease to fight, although it was a wasted effort. Whoever stabbed me from behind did not stop there. He—I could tell it was a man from his laughter—wounded me repeatedly in my sides and my back. I recognized his voice but could not recall the face it belonged to; he skillfully stayed out of my line of view. I tried not to cry out but the pain was increasing to horrendous levels. I was revolted to hear myself whimper as the demon continued to stab slice me up relentlessly. I started gagging uncontrollably; the pain was indescribable.
I could hear shuffling noises and knew that Colton was still alive and fighting. Fighting to get to me. I forced myself to lift my head. When I looked up, I was relieved to see that even on his knees with a blade sticking through him, he managed to make it difficult for the demons to hold him down. The demon across from me at Colton’s neck caught my attention with a gleam in his eye so twisted I knew then he had found my weakness and he was about to exploit it. I tried to say no; tried to do what I, Belleeza, the most feared warrior known these days would never do.
I begged.
He said two words. Two words that caused me more pain than the knife that finally stopped penetrating my side.
“For her.”
I knew then that I took someone he loved, and he was going to do the same to me.
Colton stopped fighting then. Like me, he knew what those two words meant for him too. He mouthed, “It’s okay, it’s time for me.”
I tried to shake my head but I could not move anymore.
He said in words that I could not hear, I’m so sorry. I love you, Belleeza.
The demon ripped Colton’s head back by his hair and sliced his throat from one side to the other.
I screamed and fought and tried to do anything I could, but the only sound that came from my mouth was the sound of me choking on my own blood. I fought to get way from the demon that that stabbed me mercilessly but he held me in place with strong arms forcing me to watch helplessly as Colton bled out before my eyes.
I began to lose consciousness. One moment I was still trying to fight, and the next I was opening my eyes while someone tied my wrists together and threw me over their shoulder.
Why don’t these bastards just kill me already?
I was too weak to speak, too weak to move, to fight. Helplessness was not something I was accustomed to, but honestly, I couldn’t find it in me to care. Pain was the only thing I knew anymore. The world was going in and out of darkness. Every time I thought the darkness had consumed me for the last time, blood gushed in my eyes, bringing me back to consciousness. I could feel my blood leaving my body in a rush.
They were just standing there, as if waiting for something.
I tried to lift my head, but again the world went spinning. A phone rang somewhere in the room.
“Yeah, we got her. You ready for us?”
“Ten-four,” the voice continued. “We’ll be right there.” Another pause, then, “Yes, I’m sure. No one saw us but the guy with her, and we took care of him.”
Colton, dear God, don’t let Colton be dead. He can’t be dead. It can’t be true. He was just telling me how he loved me still. Please, Father, protect him.
“Let’s roll,” said the voice that answered the phone as the one carrying me started walking toward the others. Walking was going to be the death of me. My entire body was throbbing with pain. Until that moment, I hadn’t thought it was possible to die from pain, but with each step the man took, the pain turned to agony. None of us knew what happened when we died because we didn’t go back to where we came from, but I was ready to find out if there was peace in the afterlife for angels after all.
The very last thing I saw before the darkness took over was Colton’s still body. He lay there in a broken mess, surrounded by a pool of his own blood. I reached out for him and the world went dark.
Chapter Six
I awoke alone and confused in a dark windowless room. It seemed like an abandoned warehouse or basement o
f some sort that had been unoccupied for a long period. The air was moist and smelled of mildew. My head ached as I tried to remember how I’d got in this situation. Rather than my memory coming back all at once, I was getting only glimpses and had to use guesswork to piece them all together.
Something important, I can’t remember something very important that happened.
There was a dim light seeping through the crack of a door that would not budge, despite all my hitting and kicking. My head felt like it would explode; I could hardly hold it up. I tried to feel around the room, looking for a weapon or another way out, but every move I made was excruciating so I didn’t get very far. I tried to vanish, but I couldn’t. I tried to harness the little bit of light in the room but nothing happened.
Oh no, oh God, something is very wrong. I’m mortal! This can’t be.
Distorted images and memories from the previous day started to fill my mind. I had a slight sense of calm when I remembered that someone used a demonic relic on me. My fingers felt for the wound in my chest; someone had healed it, but only enough to keep me from dying. I could tell my body still had some of the poison running through it, which explained why I was so weak. I needed to be healed soon. Whoever healed me had siphoned out enough of the demonic toxins to prevent me from turning mortal, but they left enough that if I didn’t get to a healer soon, it would start spreading and multiplying.
Several raw, pink knife wounds littered my sides. Suddenly I had a flashback of a man’s sinister laughter as he continuously stabbed me from behind. It was no wonder I could barely move. I tried to force myself to remember more, and that was when it hit me—the memory of Colton’s still body lying in the midst of a bloody chaos.
A gut-wrenching scream of despair tore through me echoing throughout the room as I collapsed against the floor. My Colton was dead and neither my brain nor heart could process it. I lay against the cold harshness of the concrete floor sobbing; sobbing in way I had never done before. I could not catch my breath. My soul was broken.