by JP Epperson
Liam looked very pleased, and Olivia’s eyes widened with excitement.
“I have a tracking ability. I didn’t know I had this ability when we last worked together, but once I get the scent of someone, I don’t forget it, and I can track it. As soon as we broke through to rescue you, your tormentor disappeared, but his scent was all over you. I can track him, Belleeza.”
My jaw dropped. It was a great idea, but it wasn’t a decision I could make lightly. If we tracked Jack into a demon lair, we’d be outnumbered and out-skilled. Not to mention we might risk everything for nothing. I didn’t think it was likely Jack knew much more than I did. He seemed to take orders from Harper, who didn’t know anything. Not to mention the thought of Big Jack getting hold of Liam and Olivia, and especially Colton, made my blood run cold. I had to word it in such a way that it wouldn’t seem like I didn’t have faith in him.
“That’s a great idea, Liam, but I feel like it would just put us in danger for no reason. Jack tortured me because he had no idea where the kid is located.”
“Please stop calling him the kid.” Anselma’s voice was barely above a whisper. I saw anguish in her eyes. She bowed her head and I had to strain to hear the next words.
“He is my son.”
Then she vanished.
Chapter Eleven
The room was so still we could have heard the flutter of a hummingbird’s wing. All five of us stared at the empty place Anselma had just occupied, each of our faces bearing the same stunned expression. It was not uncommon for Earth angels to fall in love with a human and, on occasion, even conceive a child. However, angels frown upon this type of behavior, and I’d never heard of an archangel doing this. God created the angels before all the human rules and commandments existed, so it is not considered a sin to engage in intimate acts, although the elder angels frown upon sex if it is without love.
I looked at Evangelina. Surely she had to know. She knew almost all the angel gossip, which never interested me. She caught my eye and gave a slight shake of the head to indicate she had no idea.
“Well, that was kind of an unexpected bomb to drop,” I said, breaking the silence. “It isn’t exactly a deal-breaker, though. It doesn’t get us any closer to finding the kid.”
Nothing, she gave us nothing!
Liam was looking puzzled. “I don’t understand,” he said.
I looked at him in surprise. “Surely you’ve heard of half-angels?”
He shook his head.
“Strange,” I said. “They date back to the very beginning of mankind. Of course, humans called them demi gods then. In reality, they were just half-angels.”
“Do they have powers like us?”
“Not necessarily.” I thought hard to remember things I had been taught years ago. “Some of them inherit their angel parent’s abilities and can become earthbound angels. Most of them don’t have any special abilities though.”
Liam considered this for a moment. “And do they know they’re half-angels?”
I shook my head. “Not if they don’t show signs of ability. It’s forbidden. They have to just lead a normal human life.”
Liam looked thoughtful as he digested this information. I was angry with Anselma, and the fact that she dropped this on us and ran away like a child only left me fuming more. She left us to go in blind, and still she didn’t elaborate on the details that might just help to prepare us enough to survive this case. My head was filling with rage to the point I feared I would lose control. My fingers started tensing and I wouldn’t have been surprised if smoke came out of my ears.
I didn’t recognize the rage inside me anymore. My rage was always just another part of me, and it served me well in battle. When I let my rage consume me, I was able to overcome my enemies brutally and effectively. I never had difficulties controlling it when it came to my allies. This new rage didn’t seem to care if it was my enemies or my allies in front of me as long as it got out. It felt like a physical thing inside of me. Like I was carrying someone else within me. I pushed it down. There was no time for getting sidetracked.
“Anselma!” I started yelling at the ceiling. “Anselma, get back down here right now. We are not finished!”
Colton, Liam, and Olivia all looked at me, eyes wide and full of shock, mouths partly open. Colton shook his head, grinning.
“You yelling takes me back,” he said, chuckling quietly.
I glared at him before resuming shouting. Liam and Olivia both looked scared and impressed at the same time.
“Belleeza, you need to control yourself better,” Evangelina scolded. “You are right to be angry, but commanding an elder in that way is not likely to get you far with them.”
“You’re right, Evangelina,” I agreed. “But as it stands, I’m not getting very far with her no matter what I do. So I may as well let her know how I really feel.”
“And how, exactly, do you feel?” Anselma asked icily as she emerged standing just before me. She looked glorious standing there with authority seeping out of her. “Truly, I wish to know how you feel about me, Belleeza, Warrior of God, The Terrible Beauty.”
I stood stunned into silence. That Anselma used my title meant this was a formal inquisition. I had to answer her fully and truthfully without hesitation.
“Anselma, Angel of Destiny, Archangel of the Lord, I truly feel that as my elder you are wise beyond my years and I respect you immensely,” I answered honestly.
Colton and Evangelina let out a breath of air, both wearing the same exact looks of relief on their faces.
“However,” I went on, ignoring the sighs and shaking heads from our audience, “while I do hold the utmost respect for you, I have to say I find your lack of openness and honesty regarding this case to be selfish and reckless. You are withholding information that could be detrimental to the wellbeing of the kid we are searching for. Not to mention you’ve essentially sent four warriors into battle blindfolded. You’ve risked all of our lives but given no explanation, and I refuse to bleed for you again unless you divulge the truth.”
“Belleeza,” Anselma said, her voice barely above a whisper as she stood before me, arms crossed below her breast. Her head was tilted to the side as she considered my answer, and she was doing that thing where she looked right through me. I stood straight, legs slightly apart with my arms behind my back and my left hand covering my right fist. I wanted to shout and tell her to get on with it. Instead, I squeezed my fist and pretended to wait patiently for her response, wondering if this was going to be another one of those awkwardly long pauses.
Right on cue, Anselma spoke. “You’re right.” We both ignored the collective gasps from the others. “You also have my respect, Belleeza, so I’m sorry for the lack of information you received. It was indeed careless. I also apologize for dropping such unexpected news and vanishing. You have my word that from here on out I will tell you everything I am permitted to tell you.”
“Can you tell us why the demons are after your son?” I asked abruptly. “What abilities does he have?”
“I honestly don’t know what they want from him. He hasn’t shown any extraordinary talent, although he is highly intuitive. However, there is something you must know.” Anselma shifted uncomfortably. “And it is not going to be easy for you to understand. Why don’t you have a seat, as what I’m about to tell you will cause many questions to arise.”
She suddenly looked worn down, but I had little patience for her at the moment. I needed answers, and I was tired of being stonewalled.
Colton must have sensed my feelings, as he laid a hand on Anselma’s arm and his voice was gentle. I was surprised by his softness and compassion. “Anselma, I can see whatever you have to tell us is very painful for you. I’m sorry you have to relive the memories for us. What is your son’s name so we know what to call him?”
“I didn’t get to name him before I had to give him up.” Anselma pursed her lips. “His foster mother chose the name Theodore. It is a suitable name.
I f
elt the pangs of sadness in her voice. I took a seat and Anselma did the same. I could almost taste the anticipation in the room. The excitement of finally getting some real information on the case was really getting the team pumped. That’s what we were ultimately—a team: me as the leader, Evange as the voice of reason, Colton as the power, Liam as the muscle, and Olivia as the soldier.
“Theodore is a little different than other half-angels,” Anselma said softly. “This is a very painful thing for me to have to explain, and this is the second time since Theodore disappeared that I’ve had to do so. Theodore’s father is a demon.”
At this point, I was surprised my jaw did not come completely unhinged. I heard a jumble of voices cry out all at once. I heard Evangelina’s voice say, “Impossible.” Liam cried, “No way.” Olivia whispered, “You’ve fallen.”
Colton and I alone sat holding our composure, though I knew inside we were both thinking all the things the others said aloud. Two angels cannot conceive a child together. The same can be said of demons.
“I have not fallen,” Anselma answered, her voice a bit stronger than before and a bit more menacing. “It was a secret love affair that began thirty years ago. We hid it to avoid the disapproving looks and words from the other elders. You know how they frown upon angels mating with someone outside our own occupation. You see, he was a warrior, and I loved him with every entirety of the word. He’d been earthbound for twenty-five years. I did not know he was falling and we continued to see each other in secret.”
I stared at Anselma, trying not to look at Colton. Her story was sounding eerily familiar.
“He hid his darkness rather cleverly. He fell after some years on Earth, and I cut off all contact with him. A couple of years later, he requested viatorship, which he received quickly due to his past achievements as a warrior. He vowed his love for me and like a fool, I believed him.”
I shot Colton a glance, expecting him to look away guiltily. But he caught my eye and held my gaze until I was the one forced to look away. I turned to focus on Anselma’s story.
“I began to see him again, unaware that he had an ulterior motive. You see, before he requested viatorship, he had a witch give him certain human abilities. The spell was ingenious and went undetected by all the angels he encountered, including me. The next thing I knew, I was with child.”
Anselma paused as if reliving that day in her mind. If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn I saw a wetness in her eyes. She blinked, though, and it was gone in an instant.
“I was confused and terrified, for I had only been with him, and we all know angels and demons cannot have children unless they mate with a human. I shall never forget his wide eyes, full of evil triumph the day I gave him the news. He tried to capture me, but he couldn’t match my speed and I killed him. The first and only soul I’ve ever killed, or so I thought . . .”
Colton nodded encouragingly. “What happened next, Anselma?”
She let out a long sigh. “We later received word that he somehow survived. The elders assigned Teddy’s father as a first priority case for an accomplished warrior—Colton’s mentor actually. So Theodore’s father was killed by Jove when he was finally found several years later.”
Colton jerked his head but stayed silent. I knew how Jove’s death had affected him. It had happened just a year before Colton lost his wings. Jove was Colton’s mentor. A mentor was the closest thing to a parent figure that angels had. They train us and teach us. Colton was especially close to Jove. I suddenly felt a stab of foreign rage. I was confused at first, because I didn’t know where it came from, then I realized it was seeping from Colton. I looked at him, concerned; it was a fierce anger I hadn’t felt from him before. I supposed it was from the fact we never found Jove’s killer.
“I held a meeting with the elder archangels,” Anselma continued, “and we decided that the only thing we could do is hide the boy on Earth. There has never been another child born of these circumstances. We had no idea what to expect, and we could not risk Heaven by allowing him to reside there. I found him a lovely home with a lovely family that cared for him deeply. I watched over him, and his identity remained a secret.”
“So what happened?” Liam’s eager voice cut in, and was quickly quelled by a cold look from Anselma. I suppressed a smile.
“I received news a few days ago that Teddy—that’s what they call him—has been put on a some kind of bounty list. We have no idea who is after him or why.”
“Who is the boy’s father, Anselma?” I probed. “Do you know why he was so desperate to get you with child?
“I am unable to divulge the name of the demon in question. As I said, the elders believe he is only a pawn in this scheme. I requested that his information be released, but they overrode my wishes and demanded I kept my lips sealed. The elders insisted that his information was of no concern to you, given that your case is limited to finding Theodore and nothing more.”
Anselma looked like she was struggling to accept the fact she was being ordered around. This was definitely a first for her. She was normally on the other side of giving orders. I knew she was being hard enough on herself, and I didn’t want to make it worse, but I had to get all the answers she had to offer. I didn’t want to continue dragging this out. The sooner we finished, the sooner Anselma could stop reliving her worst nightmare.
“At this point, aside from his father’s name, I’ve told you everything I know about Theodore,” Anselma went on. “I don’t know why my son is wanted, and I have no idea where he could be. He must be on the run because the demons are still searching for him and obviously we don’t have him. What I don’t understand, aside from why he is wanted, is how he is staying hidden. A mere human could not stay hidden from angels and demons without some help. And how did he know to hide?”
All good questions. The same questions that were swirling around in my mind. “That is exactly what I’d like to know,” I said, with an ominous feeling in my gut. I looked in the faces of the others and knew they had the same feeling I had. Unfortunately, none of this information got us any closer to finding Theodore.
“Well, we at least know who we are searching for and his back story,” Colton said, finally breaking his thoughtful silence. “Unfortunately, none of this information gets us any closer to finding Theodore,” he added.
A startled gasp escaped from my mouth as he said the exact same thing I’d thought just a moment ago.
He grinned, shrugging his shoulders. I guess they were all thinking the same thing; I was more than just a bit disturbed by the fact he’d pretty much just shared my thoughts verbatim. This was really going to start pissing me off. When Colton and I were together, I not only enjoyed our connection, but also depended on it. Having him that connected again as though nothing had changed felt like an invasion—an intrusion. I didn’t want him analyzing my thoughts and feelings about him when I hadn’t been able to process them myself. I felt exposed and vulnerable once again.
“Look, Belleeza, I know you turned down my offer earlier, but given that we have nothing further to go on, I feel like we have no other choice than to track your attacker,” Liam suggested nervously. I knew Liam was anxious to prove himself to Colton and me. Maybe he was even trying to prove to himself and Olivia that he could do this. It wasn’t his ability to track that I doubted. Big Jack overtook me and nearly killed me, despite the fact that I am revered as one of the greatest and deadliest warriors in the history of warriors.
“I know you can do this, Liam,” I answered softly. “I just feel it’s an unnecessary risk. Big Jack didn’t know anything about the kid. He likely will lead us nowhere—to a dead end. Or he could just lead us to a den of demons, leaving us outnumbered and unprepared.”
A subtle movement from Colton caught my attention. His facial expression was neutral and did not betray his thoughts or feelings. Our eyes met, and I knew he was trying to communicate with me without the others hearing. The eagerness in the way he looked at me told me he was going to
open his emotions and allow only me to feel what he was thinking. We used to communicate this way often. It’s like mind reading . . . but so much more. Thoughts can lie—the truth is in emotions, and they tell all.
Colton opened himself up to me and it hit me like a hurricane. I was only expecting to get his feelings on the current situation, but what I got was everything. He opened himself up to me completely. Not only could I feel that Colton felt we had no choice but to allow Liam to track Big Jack, but I could also feel everything else. I could feel his fear for me, his rage at the thought of my being hurt, his fear that he would never get into Heaven and that it would cause him to never win me back. I could feel his need to tell me about his falling and the anger that he wasn’t allowed to. There was even a feeling of desire so deep at the thought of my naked wet body in the shower against his. I only realized now how hard it was for him to maintain his self-control and not try to ravage me in the shower, or at the very least make slow passionate love to me. The thing that struck me the hardest was the depth of love he felt for me. It was an unrelenting, undeniable, once-in-a-lifetime, pure kind of love and it was all for me.
My emotions tumbled over each other. Love mixed with hurt, guilt, pain, anger. I couldn’t deny I still loved him. I felt it every time I looked at him. But I couldn’t go backward. Only dimly aware the connection between Colton and me was still open, I let myself get caught up in my feelings and listened to my emotions. I couldn’t let him break me again. The sudden spark of hope when I’d felt his love for me was followed by a blast of pain, which hit me in the heart before disappearing completely.
Colton’s fists clenched and his eyes locked with mine. He had felt everything: the burst of love I’d felt for him . . . and then the other emotions that followed.
I felt a gut-wrenching, knee-bending, all-consuming pain and knew it wasn’t mine. Yet even under all that pain, there was still something else. It was hope—no, not hope, it was faith. Faith that one day I would see the truth behind his words and find my way back to him. Even if it took a millennium, he would still wait for me.