by JP Epperson
I contemplated her request. The lightness and the darkness inside me were feeling torn. On one hand, I now felt connected to the demons—they were counting on me—but on the other hand, I shared a physical connection with the warriors in front of me. I both wanted to strike them down and protect them. I looked at Finders, not knowing if I was going to side with her or strike her down.
“No, look here, Beauty. Look at me,” Colton said, taking my attention back. “Think about those you are surrounded by. You know of Finders’ background and her sister’s. Her sister took your Evangelina. She was yours and they took her.”
He must not have been seen what he was looking for me because he changed tactics then. “You remember everything before you fell, right? I know you do. Then remember Evangelina saving your ass time after time. How many times did she protect you? How many times did she have what you needed before you even had to ask? How many times did she sit with you so wouldn’t have to be alone after your worst cases? Talon would go to the ends of the Earth to fight beside you. He believes in you. How about Liam and Olivia, who risked everything to come for you when Big Jack had you.”
That last one made me angry. I didn’t like remembering that. “Keep going,” Nicholai said to Colton still on his knees. “She needs to feel again.”
I pressed my sword into him with more force and I grabbed his throat to silence him.
“You don’t want to do that,” Colton said, adjusting his stance. “You love him. You love Nicholai and he loves you. You can feel it. I know you can. You can’t just erase all that we went through—every memory we shared, every laugh, every cry, every whisper. What about Lori? What would she say if she could see you like this, on the wrong side? It would kill her to see you this way, but do you know what she would say? She’d say, ‘Don’t do it, Belleeza, I love you. We love you.’ That’s what she’d say. And you might not like it, and you might try to fight it, but you love me too. Just like you love Evangelina and them too now . . .” He pointed toward the other warriors. “Because you could not have linked your emotions to them if you didn’t. I know you still feel!”
He was starting to get angry. It was doing something to me. His pain was doing something to me . . . It hurt. “I love you, Belleeza. I always have. I never stopped. All those nights you spent crying alone in your apartment, I was there, watching over you. I had to make you believe I left you. It was the only way to keep you safe. You felt me watching sometimes. I’d see you look in my direction. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Belleeza, I was trying to save you. I never really left . . .”
I felt something—was it shock?—course through my body. Colton had fallen to . . . to save me? He had sacrificed himself for me? My mind was in turmoil. None of this made sense. I had felt so much anger, so much rage, toward him. Had I really got him so wrong?
“Do you hear that?” Nicholai spoke up. “You’re hurting him, hurting all of us, and I can see that you don’t like that. We love you, Belleeza! What about Colton? You don’t even know what he did for you yet, but I know. I know what he did for you.”
I cocked my head, slightly curious. What had he done for me?
“He fell to save you. He chose Hell so you would never have to come down here! They wanted you and he took your place, Belleeza!”
What?
“What did you say?” The battle between bad and good within me came to a screeching halt, leaving only a roaring silence.
“He had his wings ripped off for you, Belleeza! He loves you. Demon or not, he loves you. We all do! Stop letting your enemies win and open up to us!” Nich pressed his chest into my sword and blood fell more freely. I didn’t like that at all. I looked into his eyes and memory after memory flooded my thoughts.
“We love you, Belleeza,” Evangelina said.
The confusion in my head was getting louder and louder, and I didn’t know which side of it I should listen too.
“We love you,” Olivia said, nodding.
“Yes, we love you. We’re a team remember?” Liam said.
“Belleeza, you’re stronger than this than them. We do love you, warrior.” Talon looked at me intently.
“I love you, my Beauty. We love you. No matter what form you take, we love you!” Colton said.
The chaos in my mind was reaching heightened peaks, but something was happening to me. The fire blazing around me wasn’t so hot anymore. The flames were shrinking. They were still there, but not quite as big or bright.
“Keep going, Colton, it’s working,” Nicholai said. The hope in the warriors’ faces grew as my flames shrank.
A voice spoke, echoing throughout the room, but it wasn’t one of the warriors this time. It was that ever-changing voice again that sent chills down my entire body and not just mine. Everyone in the room had them same reaction, even the demons—perhaps them even more. The fear he put into motion was something I could physically see.
“Don’t let them weaken you, Belleeza. You know it is weakness they offer you. The chance to be let down again, to be hurt and betrayed. How many times do you want to feel that way before you finally realize you don’t have to feel any of that if you join me?”
The memories they forced me to relieve were suddenly playing for everyone to hear. There was no visual but the memories were so fresh now that audio was all I needed. I didn’t have to see Lori’s betrayal and death—hearing it was just as bad. Then it was Colton and me fighting. One bad memory after another until I was begging for it to stop. The voice disappeared, but the chaos in my mind didn’t come back. I knew what I had to do so that I would never again feel that anguish.
“No, Belleeza, no, my Beauty, that wasn’t real. This is real!” Colton grabbed my left hand from Nicholai’s throat and shoved it against his own heart. “This is real. We are real. The love we feel for you and you feel for us is real. Don’t let them win. You are stronger than this, my Beauty. Our love is stronger than this.”
“You’re wrong,” I said. “You shouldn’t have come here.”
The fist against his chest filled with fire and though it singed him, he didn’t move.
“No, you love me. You love us and you feel our love. I know you feel it!”
My hands were shaking. The tip of my sword moved just enough that it was no longer pressed into Nicholai’s chest and the fire in my left hand no longer burned Colton.
“No,” I said. “I feel nothing.”
“Belleeza,” Nicholai said. “I will save you from yourself. I will keep my promise to you at any cost. They need you, he needs you.”
I didn’t understand what he meant until he slammed his chest into the tip of my sword.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Nich,” Colton screamed as he caught his friend.
“Don’t blame yourself for this, blame them. Remember the true enemy. I love you, Belleeza,” Nicholai choked as he plunged himself deeper against the sword until it broke through to the other side of him. He fell into Colton’s arms. Talon, Liam, and Olivia were by his side instantly.
“Lori?” he whispered. “She says to tell you your light never went out. She says she watches over you daily. You must let love live.”
Colton’s face streamed tears as he held his dying best friend’s hand. He looked at me and where I expected to see rage or hate, I saw only tenderness and love. He touched Nicholai’s hand to mine and Nicholai grasped both of our hands with his other hand. “Love,” he said. “Faith and love. I’m coming, Lori. I can see you . . .”
Those were the last words we ever heard from him.
A scream exploded in the room and the sound of a heart breaking was undeniable. It was agonizing and it hurt my ears to hear it. I was so confused when Colton grabbed and held me, whispering consoling words to me. I didn’t understand until he thrust his lips against mine and the noise stopped—that horrible sound was coming from me. I grabbed Nicholai from his lap and held him against me and I sobbed. I sobbed, begging God to give him back to us.
As more and more tears fell, I b
egan to feel lighter and lighter. “Nich, Nich . . .” I cried over and over. “Why did he do that? Why?” I sobbed, turning to Colton for answers.
“He promised to protect you from yourself, to do what needed to be done to ensure the prophecy didn’t come true.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I cried. “This is not what I wanted.”
“He knew what you meant, Belleeza. He knew, but he’s a warrior and he chose his own way. Not just for you but for all of us. He did it for all of Heaven.” Colton paused. “And everything I did, I did for you.”
Each tear that fell left me feeling cleaner than I did before—more pure. The poison inside me was seeping out through my eyes, and I became myself again in the arms of Colton and Olivia while Talon and Liam stood over us, protecting us from any interruptions. My tears and my breathing slowed and a new purpose came over me. I couldn’t let my friend die in vain. The ocean of rage inside me was still there, but I no longer felt pulled in two different directions. I looked around and I saw my fellow warriors who loved me so much, they had literally followed me into Hell. I saw the demons that helped to capture and torture my loved ones. I saw Nicholai still warm but lost to us forever.
Oh, Nich . . .
I stood, my wings towering over me still, and this time when I called the fire to me, I was still me. I turned to the demons and I blasted them one after another. Screaming while I did it. I almost killed the only people that ever mattered to me because they wanted to make a stupid prophecy come true. Well it did come true. I did fall. I was a demon—but I was more their enemy now than ever before.
Some fought me angrily. I saw Keepers now and remembered that she had seemed angry about me becoming demon. Guess she and her sister didn’t agree on everything after all. The other warriors fought at my side, and I watched the badly hurt Evangelina crawl toward Nicholai’s body, leaving a trail of blood behind her. As much pain as she was obviously in, she didn’t stop until she reached him and she shielded his body with her own. She would not let anyone mutilate him. Colton and the other warriors saw what I saw and all four of them, without any communication with one another, formed a circle around Evangelina and Nicholai. As Evangelina would not allow harm to Nicholai, so the warriors would not allow harm to her.
The love I felt in that moment for all of them reached a level that was painful. A warmth enveloped me and I felt it through every part of my body. It wasn’t the heat of fire, but a comforting warmth that seemed to fill me. It traveled throughout my body until all of it seemed to hit my heart at once. It felt like an explosion, and as soon as it was over, the warmth left my heart and traveled to my eyes. When all the warmth was gathered there, I felt that blast of warmth again and threw my head backwards. When it receded, I looked around and both the demons and angels gasped.
I didn’t get to ask what they saw because the warmth traveled once more and it hit my lower back with more force than it had my eyes. I felt the warmth travel all the way up my wings, and this time I gasped along with everyone else. I watched, and a happy sigh left my lips when I saw that as the warmth traveled up my wings, they turned from obsidian black to the pure white they were before. My wings were my own again—well, mostly. The outer edge and tips of them stayed obsidian, but I didn’t care. They were mine and they were beautiful. My wings matched me now. Mostly light with a touch of darkness.
Suddenly a new demon emerged into the center of the room. When he turned around I smiled as Jove’s/Big Jack’s face came into view. It wasn’t a nice smile. It was a wicked smile. I sighed. Contentment settled me. I was going to get the chance to make peace with what this creature did to me and my love ones.
Colton stepped toward Jove and I shook my head to him. I hesitated. He deserved this kill and I knew it but I deserved his pain and I would have it. Colton nodded and stepped back. I could tell from the look on his face that he didn’t like but he knew I needed this moment.
“What happened to you?” I sighed walking a circle around the big guy. “You were a friend, a mentor. You were a prestigious warrior—the best of us. We mourned you. Now look at you. You’re a monster. You’ve gone mad.” I didn’t expect an answer. We circled around the room keeping each other in our sights but still neither of us had drawn a weapon. The demons and angels around us made no noise as they watched intently. Jove was one of the most skilled warriors in his day this was a battle of the elite.
“You happened.” He answered and his voice sounded more like the old him. “They say I went mad after I killed my own warriors. I suppose it’s true.”
“Then why’d you do it? How could you do it? To Colton, to Lori…” My voice faltered but I regained my composure. “All for some stupid prophecy.”
“It’s all your fault!” He screamed. “Everything that they went through was because of you. You think I wanted to hurt my warriors? I tried to bring them over to our cause. Losing them to the dark side would have caused you enough pain to ensure you’d fulfill the prophecy. Every time I got close to bringing Colton you somehow won him over. If not for you I could have turned Colton then Lori and spared them of their fate. I never wanted their deaths but I was out of time. There was no choice but to move forward.
“You are a coward,” Colton spat. I couldn’t speak.
“Don’t you get it! Things are out of control. It’s time for a change for our kind. I’ve trained and mentored hundreds of warriors and have lost so many because of the precious humans. No more! Lori did not die in vain! She died for the cause!!!”
“Don’t you dare say her name,” Colton said obviously fighting the urge to rush Jove.
“For your cause, not hers,” I said. There was no reason in the demon in front of. What a fool. What a pathetic reason for Lori do be killed and suffer the way she did at the hands of her mentor. “You are coward Jove. You will be remembered as a coward. You will die as a coward.” I reached for the whip from Olivia. As soon as my hand made contact with it I felt some kind of electric humming. It felt like a part of me. I whipped it out and a satisfying hiss echoed throughout the room as it uncoiled.
“So you liked my work with the whip then Belleeza—good I want you to remember that terror every minute for the rest of your short life.” He pulled out a dagger that I was certain was the same one he used on me in the hotel room. “Lets us see how the is the better warrior…”
Before he could finish his sentence I slashed out my whip faster than I could almost follow it sliced his face and chest as back at my side. My formed a small “o” in surprise. I had forgotten that Olivia fused it to my abilities. Jove’s torn short revealed a long red welt and before the first one filled with blood I had already slashed him again 7 times.” Jove darted away and came back armed with his sword in addition to his dagger. I switched my whip into my left hand and took out my own, Lori’s, sword with my right. Our swords clanged angrily and I could see Jove’s old skills come out but he was no match for me anymore. I was too fast and maybe a bit high on adrenaline. I slashed my whip around his neck and pulled him toward me. The whip coiled around his throat but slicing him up as it tightened like a constrictor. He screamed and I smiled in appreciation. He couldn’t keep up with me anymore.
“You are not worth the torture Jove,” I said. “We will kill you quickly and you will be forgotten.” I looked at Colton and he nodded. I was done toying with this creature. I tossed Lori’s sword to Colton. It seemed only fitting that it be her sword that kill Jove. As soon as Colton caught it I yanked back on whip. Jove’s neck slung backwards and Colton sliced the sword through the air beheading him.
The warriors embraced us and most of the demons vanished before Jove’s head even fell to the ground. Only a few of the more powerful stayed behind to fight. I’d betrayed them, or so they felt, so they stayed behind to fight me to the death, Keepers included. Finders stayed as well, but unlike her sister, she didn’t look at me with hatred or loathing. She looked confused, bewildered. She glanced around at the warriors and her eyes landed on Evangelina and Nic
holai. I stepped toward her and changed my stance, making it clear that should she try anything, I would take off her head before she even took one step.
She shook her head; she meant them no harm. She stared at them as if she couldn’t make out what she was seeing.
She looked at Keepers and then looked to me. “I know what you must do, Belleeza,” she said. “She will not see reason, for I have tried. I will not get in your way,” She sighed and when she locked eyes with her sister, she was met with the hatred of an enemy. She turned back to me then. “The Terrible Beauty in truth not just name,” she said before she vanished.
I was utterly confused, completely shell-shocked. I didn’t understand any of it, but I didn’t have time to think about it. It didn’t matter anyway. The moment she was gone, Keepers ran at me and I split her in half from top to bottom.
FindersKeepers was no more.
The last remaining demons vanished as Keepers fell. I turned to the warriors and walked to them warily. Now that we were alone, I was unsure how they would feel about me. More than likely betrayed, not that I could blame them, but instead Liam pulled me into what became a big group hug.
“We knew you could do it,” Liam said.
“We never lost hope.” Olivia smiled at me.
“Can’t blow out a true warrior’s light.” Talon grinned as he shook my shoulder.
Colton picked up Evangelina ever so gently and she grasped my arm. She smiled weakly, but she needed healing right away.
Colton leaned into me about to say something, and though there was much we needed to say, words weren’t what were needed right then. I grabbed his mouth and I kissed him. I put all the words I needed to say in that kiss and he reciprocated. Somewhere in the middle of the kiss, Liam took Evangelina from Colton’s arms and Talon held Nicholai’s body. We pulled away from one another and there were tears in both of our eyes. Tears of joy, tears of relief to be together again, tears of heartbreak, tears, of uncertainty—but we were together and that was all that mattered.