Tribulation and Truths

by L A Cotton

  The words just fell out of his mouth. Just like that. Like those two words would erase the last couple of weeks. The last few months.

  “You’ve both tried to be there for me, and I’ve pushed you away. It wasn’t fair. You both deserve better.”

  Dennis started to rise. “Whoa, man. I think this is my cue to bail. This is between the two of you. I’ll just-”

  “Stay. This concerns you as well as Ana.”

  Jackson glanced at me, but I dropped my eyes. Dennis sat back down, and I took a deep breath, readying myself for whatever was about to come.

  ~

  The shock on Dennis’ face mirrored my own, as I sat gaping slightly at Jackson. He’d actually done it, and it hadn’t blown up in his face. I didn’t know whether to throw my arms around him and hug him tight or pound my fists into him until it hurt.

  I'd known he was going to do something stupid, but what Jackson had just described went beyond stupid. It was a death wish… and he wasn’t out of the worst yet.

  “Fuck, I can’t believe he bought it. Just like that.” Dennis stretched out his hands behind his head and leaned back into the couch.

  “I told you to trust me. I just had to find a way in, and Landon presented me with the perfect opportunity.”

  I flinched at the mention of Landon Smith’s name. Jackson caught the slight movement and his eyes collided with mine. He'd never mentioned that he had seen the person responsible for drugging and kidnapping me, and just like that, a sinking feeling replaced the relief from seconds earlier.

  Another secret.

  Guilt shined in Jackson’s eyes, and I held his gaze unwilling to give him a free pass. What had happened to us? Had things really gotten that bad that it had come to this? Where Jackson was shutting me out but working alongside a guy he’d once wanted to hurt?

  Eventually, Dennis cleared his throat and said, “So now we wait.”

  “Now we wait,” Jackson repeated, not taking his eyes off me. They had softened around the corners and I knew he was trying to tell me something, but I didn’t want to see it. Anger and dejection refused to let me see it.

  Sensing the tension growing between us, Dennis cleared his throat and said, “And on that note, I really am out of here. Ana, thanks for putting up with me. Dude, I’ll see you back at the house later or tomorrow or whenever the hell you decide to show up. Call me.”

  As Dennis left the house, so too went my resolve. It started to crumble down around me the second the door clicked shut.

  “You were away for Christmas?”

  Of all the things I wanted to say to him, I didn’t expect those five words to roll off my tongue.

  Jackson’s eyes dropped to the floor, and he whispered, “I hated every second of it.”

  “Did you?”

  The harshness in my voice drew Jackson’s eyes back to me, and they filled with sadness.

  “Of course, I did. How can you even ask me that?”

  “How can I ask you that? Because you fucking sent me away, Jackson. You told me to go back to the place that hurts me even more than this godforsaken place. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”

  Jackson stepped forward, reaching out to me, but I recoiled. My blood boiling underneath my skin.

  “Ana, please.”

  “No.” My voice cracked with the first tear. “No, you can’t keep doing this to me. To us.” Violent sobs shook my body, taking hold of me, and I crumpled down into the chair behind me.

  Jackson moved toward me, dropping to his knees and taking my trembling hands in his. “I’m so sorry; I thought I was doing the right thing. Keeping you safe. Away from any repercussions. It still isn’t safe, not yet, but when it’s all over, we’ll be free, Ana. For real this time. This is our one shot at freedom. I’m doing this for us.” Jackson pressed his forehead to my hands and said, “You and me, always.”

  Chapter 28

  ~ JACKSON ~

  I hated myself.

  At that moment, my head rested on Ana’s hands and I felt like the biggest piece of shit alive. I’d just given her hope that everything was going to be okay—and it was, I hoped—but first we had to survive one last test.

  And I knew it would push Ana to her limits.

  As my false words of hope had left my mouth, I’d felt Ana relax. It was only subtle, but it was there all the same. She wanted to be mad at me, but she still believed in us...and now I had to ask her for the ultimate sacrifice.

  “That’s all I ever wanted, Jackson.” Her voice sounded so small, but I heard it. The ounce of faith.

  This will break her, a little voice whispered, but I pushed it to one side. We’d come too far not to survive this thing. I had to believe she would understand because it was the only way. The final play would only work if all the pieces were in place.

  “Wait, there’s something else you should know first.”

  “What? What’s wrong?” Ana’s voice quivered and self-loathing shot through me, knowing that I was responsible for her uncertainty.

  Slowly, I forced my head up to meet her soggy face, pain etched into her beautiful features.

  “We can’t see each other anymore.”

  ~

  “Come in,” Marcus’ voice boomed from the other side of the door. I steadied my hand, pulling on my mask ready to face my father’s murderer. It was the same every time I visited the Donohue house, which had been more often recently.

  “Ahh, Jackson, there you are. I take it Seattle went well? I hear good things.”

  I’d been in Seattle twice more since my conversation with Frankie before Christmas. Marcus might have been hearing good things, but it was only because he was being spoon-fed a sliver of information.

  “It was fine. Business as usual.”

  “Sounds like you’ve made quite the impression?” A flicker of something crossed Marcus’ face. It looked a lot like jealousy, and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to rub salt in the wound.

  “The guys are good people. Pat and Bobby invited me out to Eugene. Bobby wants to show me some old photos he has of Dad.” I glanced over at Marcus who was watching me intently and a wistful smile formed on my lips.

  Marcus didn’t take the bait, just as I expected. Instead, he clapped his hands together and exclaimed, “Wonderful idea. They’ll show you the ropes, the old fashioned way.”

  Either I had Marcus exactly where I wanted him or he was playing a better game than I was because he seemed genuinely excited at my recent change of heart where the family business was concerned.

  “How are things back at the house?”

  “Fine. In fact, if we’re done, I need to get back. There’s a party, and I can’t miss it.”

  “Of course not, I remember those days well. Keep me updated about the Reibeckitt situation. If the Lamont kid wakes up, then I want to be the first to know.”

  I left his office with only one thought on my mind. I bet you do.

  ~

  The party was in full swing when I reached the house. I’d parked in the small lot to the side of the student center and decided to walk through campus. Music filled the air and students lingered outside, Solo cups in hand, chatting and laughing. A couple of the guys tipped their heads as I walked up the path to the house.

  “Now shit can get started,” Kyler yelled as I stepped inside the reception room.

  He, Shaun, and Travis were standing over by the staircase. Ky bounded toward me, throwing his arm wide and curling his fist. “About fucking time. We’ve been waiting.”

  “Wait’s over; I’m here, and I need a beer.”

  “On it.” He fist bumped me again before heading for the kitchen.

  “Where’s Dennis?” I asked the remaining two guys who both shrugged.

  “Haven’t seen him.”

  “Any change with Benson?”

  “Nothing. It’s not looking good.”

  Dread filled my lungs forcing me to take a deep breath.

  “Keep me informed.”

  “Here
you go, man.” Ky dropped a beer into my hand and grinned.

  It was hard to believe the change in him in the last three weeks. As soon as he heard that Ana and I were no longer together and that I was moving back into Fallen House, it was as if the wall came down between us. Well, for him anyway. The guy still rubbed me wrong most of the time.

  Ana.

  Twenty days. That was how long I’d gone without talking to her, kissing her, holding her. My heart ached just thinking about her, about the way she tasted, but I shut down the thoughts as quickly as they surfaced because I needed to be strong.

  And Ana was my weakness.

  She always would be.

  “And where the fuck have you been?” Travis’ voice was a welcomed distraction.

  “None of your fucking business.” Dennis glanced from Travis to me and said, “A word.” His eyes flickered to the kitchen door, and I caught his meaning.

  “You three stay here. Keep your eyes open. The last thing we need is another kid ending up in Tillamook Regional.”

  Dennis walked beside me as we approached the basement door. Nicky tipped his head and opened the door for us.

  “What’s up?” I asked the second we stepped across the stairs and the door clicked shut behind us.

  “Ana is still getting shit from someone. She said she can handle it, but she’s struggling. I see it in her eyes.”

  “Watch her. You see anything, and I mean anything, you come to me with it, okay? This is not supposed to still be happening.” I squeezed my temples between my fingers. Breaking up with Ana was supposed to sever her ties to me.

  “Shit doesn’t work like that. People aren’t stupid; they know you still care about her.”

  Care about her? I still loved her more than anything!

  “Just watch her closely. She trusts you.”

  Dennis barked a laugh and went to the mini bar to retrieve a beer. “I’m not sure about that, but you know I’ll look out for her. So, how was Seattle?”

  “Tense. O’Connor’s guys have been watching Raine. Nasty piece of shit. He’s definitely supplying the bad coke to Marcus. I haven’t found anything this end, but we know he’s in business with Raine”

  “And everything is still set to go ahead?”

  I nodded, taking a long pull on my beer. One more month. That was all I had to wait.

  For revenge.

  Justice.

  My freedom.

  ~

  The day after the party, I needed some time away. I was at the one place that offered me peace, and as I stared out at the ocean, I imagined Dad sitting beside me. He loved the beach. The water, the sand, the salted air clinging to his skin. I think it was why I was so captivated by the sea. It made me feel closer to him.

  "I'm sorry," I whispered into the wind.

  All these years spent being loyal to a man I thought loved my father the way I did. And maybe at one time, he had, but now I knew the truth I could see how blinded by my loyalty I'd been. Marcus had taken me in, raised me, treated me like his own, and I'd never asked questions because I only remembered a time when he and Dad were friends.

  Brothers.

  Family.

  I still didn't know the exact reason things ended up the way they did, but I had my suspicions. Marcus was jealous, and by all accounts, greedy. He resented Dad for the way others respected and loved him, and over time, that resentment grew and mutated into poison. I knew that firsthand.

  What kind of man sacrificed his own son for business? A heartless one. Not the compassionate father figure that I'd had glimpses of throughout my life.

  A wave grew on the water, rising and rushing forward until it crashed onto the shore, spraying a fine mist over me. Braiden was just like his father—the version hiding behind the uncle façade, the version I'd been too blinded to see. People saw our relationship for what it was, but no one ever warned me about how toxic it would become. Because no one wanted to stand up to the Donohues.

  But I was done standing on the sidelines and following orders. I was making my choice once and for all.

  ~

  "Jackson, get in here,” Briony called in a sickly sweet voice, and I made my way into the dining room, taking my seat between her and Marcus.

  The last supper.

  "What were you doing out there?" She threw me a questioning look, but I didn't take the bait.

  Briony, although smug that I had ended things with Ana, wasn't so easy to fool. I caught her watching me around campus, observing me whenever I came to the house. She was looking for the cracks in my ruse.

  "Dennis called."

  "Oh." She placed her napkin on her lap and replaced suspicion with adoration. Her eyes sparkled with lust, and I shuddered.

  She still wanted me. After watching me love Ana for more than two years, Briony still wanted what she would never have.

  "Well, this is nice. We haven't eaten together in too long. We'll have to rectify that."

  I nodded at Marcus' request. Being in his presence was draining, but since Christmas—knowing it was only a matter of time—it had been almost bearable. I'd played the loyal foot soldier for a long time; I could manage it for another couple of weeks.

  In fact, in a way, it made it all that bit sweeter. I didn't pride myself on reveling in the pain of others, not like Braiden and Briony, but I wanted Marcus to pay. I wanted him to come crashing down from his pedestal.

  "Dad said I can visit Braiden soon. Right, Dad?"

  My ears perked up. This was news to me.

  "I promised, Briony, and I don't break my promises. You should know that, baby girl." He looked from his daughter to me. "Jackson, I can add you to the list? It's your call."

  Panic rose up in me like a storm sweeping everything in its wake, and I managed to choke out, "I, hmm, no, I'm not ready."

  I wasn't. Not with the final play drawing near.

  "That's okay. It's your decision; I just wanted to put it out there. I know Braiden would like to see you."

  He would? I wanted to ask but gulped down the words.

  "He's had a lot of time to think."

  I stabbed the bleeding pink steak with my fork and jammed it into my mouth. I hadn't come here expecting this. Not now, not when we were so close.

  We ate in silence. After dinner, Marcus requested that Briony and I wait for him in the living room. Playing the dutiful son, I followed Briony. I chose a seat in one of the leather armchairs; Briony stood at the window, curling her fingers around a strand of her hair. My senses went on high alert as I recognized the look in her eye.

  "So, I was thinking, now that you finally saw sense and ended things with her." She almost spat out the word, as if it was poison on her tongue. "We should go out. It doesn't have to be a date, but we should totally hang. Just the two of us. What with Braiden being gone and everything… I've missed you, Jackson."

  I wanted to scream; to laugh in her face. Instead, I looked at her and said calmly, "I'm pretty busy for the next couple of weeks, but sure. We can do that."

  Her eyes danced with excitement and a half smile broke over her lips. There was a time when I might have felt sorry for the girl standing in front of me. The girl I'd once considered a sister. But I was done. She was the same as her father and brother—manipulative, calculated, and greedy.

  If I were taking down her father, then Briony would be collateral. But somewhere along the line, I'd lost my humanity when it came to them—the family that raised me.

  And I no longer had it in me to care.

  Chapter 29

  ~ ANA ~

  A quiet knock sounded on Elena’s door.

  “Coming,” I called out, shuffling papers into a pile so I could leave the bed without making a complete mess.

  I turned the door handle and pulled open the door. It was the last person I expected to see.

  “Can I come in,” Mari sobbed, mascara stained tears streaming down her face.

  “Sure,” I said motioning for her to step inside.

  Since mo
ving into Elena’s dorm, I hadn’t really had many visitors. People didn’t know what to say to me since Jackson had ended things, so it was easier for me not to be around them. That way I didn’t have to force myself to smile at every awkward attempt to make me feel better. Behind closed doors, I didn’t have to wear a brave face or hold my head high, and for the past five weeks, Elena’s room had become my sanctuary. It was my place to cry, to vent, to deal, which was why it felt almost intrusive that Mari was standing in my safe place sobbing her heart out.

  “What’s wrong, Mari?” I tried to sound sympathetic but was pretty sure I’d nailed somewhere between pissed and condescending.

  “I’m so sorry, Ana,” she blurted out, spraying tears and spittle everywhere.

  “Sorry? Sorry for what?”

  “It- it was me. I’ve been the one texting you. It was my fault Lewis attacked you.”

  I stared at the tear soaked girl in front of me. I’d always considered Mari a little bit odd, but I’d tried to get to know her. I'd defended her to my friends and supported her relationship with Paul one hundred percent. But hearing those words come out of her mouth sent blind hatred racing through.

  The texts.

  The photos.

  The party.

  A girl I considered a friend was behind it all.

  It made no sense.

  “Why did you do it, Mari?” My voice wavered as a lump formed in my throat.

  “I, I didn't want to do it. Honest. I swear.” Mari trembled, but I had no sympathy for the girl I had once thought a friend.

  “Not good enough. The texts, bringing that guy into my home, the photos. Why? Just tell me why?”

  “I, I can't. I can't tell.” Tears flowing down her cheeks, Mari hugged her arms around her waist and dropped her head refusing to look at me.

  “Mari...” It came out almost a plea. She was hiding something and part of me wasn't sure I wanted to know.

  “She, she said if I didn't do it, she'd tell Paul.”

  “She?” I asked, a pit carving its way in my stomach.

  “Bri-Briony.” Mari reached out for me, a look of desperation on her soggy face. “She said if I didn't agree to do what she said then she would tell Paul. I- I panicked, Ana. I didn't want to lose Paul.”