Man Without a Heart

by Anne Hampson

  A long pause followed before he said, 'Think about my suggestion, Jill. Life is for living, remember, and although I doubt it, we could be married for some time. This situation could not possibly continue—'

  'It could!' she cried. 'You made a promise!'

  'Circumstances can alter people's attitudes,' he returned with a hint of asperity. 'At the time, I didn't foresee the possibility of my becoming attracted to you—'

  'Desiring me, you mean,' she cut in tartly. 'Desiring my body!'

  'Put it that way if you like. It adds up to the same thing: this situation can't continue.'

  She stared at him, having caught the emphasis, the determination in his tone. 'What exactly have you in mind, Adam?' she asked tightly. 'If I refuse your ... offer, is it your intention to take me by force?'

  His dark eyes flashed fire, and for one disbelieving and frightened moment she thought he would slap her. But if that had been his intention, he resisted the impulse, and his voice was surprisingly mild as he said, 'Let us not discuss a situation that might never occur. Just do as I say and give my suggestion some thought.'

  'Might never occur....' Nerves quivered, then went taut. Unless she were very much mistaken, the decision would eventually be taken out of her hands. Whatever Adam wanted, he would have, whether it was with her agreement or not.

  Chapter Four

  Jill never mentioned the matter again, and to her surprise, neither did her husband, and with the passing of another fortnight she began to feel safe. But she did at times resent the masterful, domineering attitude which Adam occasionally adopted toward her, and she wondered how long it would be before she was impelled to remind him that he had no authority over her. A few days previously he had had some business to attend to in Athens and had taken her with him, giving her a large sum of money with which to buy clothes. At first she was reluctant to spend the money, but after a little consideration, she decided, quite reasonably, that the money was rightly hers, since she had given up her post to marry Adam and, therefore, she was entitled to an allowance from him.

  So she had a whole day's enjoyment at the shops, indulging in the extravagance of buying expensive and distinctive wench clothes. She had bought shoes to match each dress, and the kind of underwear she had always imagined buying for her trousseau. No one was going to see it other than herself, she thought, but decided all the same that she would have some dainty undies and nightwear.

  Adam's mother had been brought over for a few days, and on their return to the villa she wanted to see what Jill had bought. 'All these boxes and parcels and bags remind me of my own youth.' She smiled. 'Show me, dear, what you have in them.' She spoke in Greek, although her English was exceptionally good. 'How very happy you have made me, Jill. I could never have had a more charming daughter-in-law than you.' Jill smiled and began to open the boxes, bringing out three evening dresses, two day dresses, a couple of pairs of slacks and some leisure wear for the garden.

  'I wanted her to buy more,' said Adam, eyeing the brief shorts which Jill was holding out for his mother to take in her thin bony fingers. 'However, we can go again.'

  'I don't need any more,' protested Jill. 'I don't go out, as I've said already.'

  'This is nice material,' observed Mrs. Doxaros. 'And let me feel the material of that dress.'

  Jill handed it over, glancing at the array of clothes scattered about the sofa and one large easy chair. 'What's in those other boxes?' her mother-in-law wanted to know, her pale eyes expectant.

  Jill hesitated, then said casually, 'Nothing important, my mites. I'll take all this upstairs now.'

  'Nothing important?' repeated Adam, glancing at her curiously. 'Well, let us see just the same.'

  'They're ... they're ... only underclothes,' she said, colouring slightly and wishing she had not been tempted by the delightful undies and nightwear in cobweb nylon and lace. 'You wouldn't be interested,' she told Adam's mother.

  'On the contrary, my dear, I am exceedingly interested. You see, when I was young they didn 't have such delightfully brief and elegant things as they have now.'

  With a sigh of resignation, Jill opened one of the boxes and brought out a nightgown of gossamer silk with three rows of ruffled net around the hem, the frills being edged with soft silver lace.

  'Hmm...' from Adam, unexpectedly. 'Very sexy.' Jill blushed and lowered her head to hid e her embarrassment. 'And these ...' The old lady had opened a small bag and was holding up several scraps of lace. 'My young niece maintains that only the French can create things as beautiful as this.' She fingered it for a moment and then said unexpectedly, 'You are happy with my good son, yes?' Jill nodded her head. 'Very, my mitera.'

  'Prettily said, my dear.' The voice was soft and gentle, the lined face that of an angel. Never had Jill met anyone as sweet as her mother-in-law, and already she was hoping that the old lady would continue to live a long time, enjoying life as she was, now that her son was married. Yet, mused Jill, her own freedom from Adam, a freedom that would be better for her than this marriage in which the love was on one side only, would come only with his mother's death....

  Adam took his mother home the following day and, the same evening, when they had finished dinner, he said, 'Did you consider my proposition, Jill?'

  She shot him a startled glance, his question coming as a complete surprise after she had convinced herself that he had decided not to mention the matter again. She shook her head emphatically. 'It's not worth considering, Adam. You made a promise, and I expect you to keep it.' Adam's lips drew tight.

  'I believe I told you that the promise means nothing, with circumstances as they are now —' He lifted a hand imperiously, to halt the interruption she was about to make. 'I find my wife physically attractive, and I believe the attraction is mutual. We're in an artificial situation which is a strain for us both —'

  'For you, perhaps!' she flashed, fighting to maintain her composure. 'Your assumption that I'm desperate to go to bed with a man is definitely wrong!' She was almost in tears, thinking that if only he loved her there would have been no need for this practical, cold-blooded conversation.

  Adam noticed her tears, and a frown touched his brow. 'I am not assuming that you're desperate to go to bed with a man,' he denied in a chill, incisive tone of voice. 'What I am saying is that you must be finding our relationship as much of a strain as I ...' He stopped as she began shaking her head, and after a small pause he changed the subject. She was safe ... but for how long?

  The following day Jill was having morning coffee in a cafeneion down on the waterfront when one of the ferries came in, and like all the others sitting at the tables of the pavement cafe, she became interested in the people disembarking. Tourists, mainly, but locals too, all carrying suitcases or other luggage. One tall young man caught her attention because he resembled someone she had worked with at the office. He walked briskly across the road, looking about as if seeking a hotel. But Corina boasted only a few hotels, and all were on the other end of the island. His eye caught Jill sitting there, looking very cool and very English in her sundress of flowered cotton, her russet-brown hair gleaming in the sunshine.

  He made straight for her, stopped at her table, and asked if she knew where he could get bed and breakfast for about a week. 'The hotels are at the far end....' Jill pointed to direct him. 'Shall I need a taxi?'

  'With that luggage, yes, I should say so.' She was looking up into his face, noting his fair skin, his deep-set eyes and wide, good-tempered mouth. She judged his age to be around twenty-seven or twenty-eight, his height to be an inch or so less than her husband's.

  'I think all the taxis have been snapped up,' he said ruefully. She nodded her head. 'We 'don't have many, I'm afraid.'

  'Do you mind if I sit down?'

  'No, of course not.' Jill leant forward to take her handbag from the vacant chair. 'The waiters seem to be very busy now that the boat's come in.'

  The young man sat down, placing his two suitcases by the table. He looked at Jill
with interest, and with undisguised admiration. 'You on holiday?' he ventured after a while. 'No, I live here.'

  'Lucky you! I wish I could live in Greece. I'm on an island-hopping holiday. I've visited about twenty islands already, and on this trip I'm aiming to see another six at least.'

  'You've not been to Coring before, then?'

  'No. I don't visit any of the islands twice. My target's a hundred, and when I've done that, I expect I shall then revisit those I like best.' He looked up as one of the white-coated waiters appeared, his olive-skinned face shiny with perspiration. 'A long cool drink, please.'

  'Lemonade, yes? We grow our own lemons on Coring. This very good, I bring you big glassful!'

  'It's a real scorcher today,' remarked the young man-for something to say, guessed Jill, who nodded in agreement. 'I could do with a cold shower, or a swim in the sea.'

  'I hope you manage to find accommodation,' said Jill. 'We haven't many hotels here, and so they get booked up quickly, especially at this time of year.'

  'I didn't really want a hotel,' he confessed. 'My funds are limited and I'd prefer a small bed-and-breakfast place, if there is one.'

  'Not that I know of—unless some of the locals do that sort of thing in their homes. You could ask one of the waiters here.' She was ready to go but waited to see the result of the young man's inquiry.

  As luck would have it, the proprietor was ready to take in one or two paying guests, just for some extra money for the children's clothes, he said. 'I have five,' he added with a proud smile. 'Three boys and two girls. It is good to have more of the boys.'

  'No dowries to find.' The young man laughed. 'That is right, no prika!'

  'I must go now.' Jill stood up, bade the young man good morning, and made her way from the harbour to a long narrow lane which climbed the side of the hill which led to her husband's villa.

  He was out when she arrived home, and Andonys told her that he had been called away to Athens and had caught the ferry that left half an hour ago.

  The ferry the young man came on, she mused, realising she had only just missed seeing Adam. 'Did he say when he would be back?'

  'Ochi, madam, he said only that it would not be until the end of the week at least, but it might be the beginning of the next week.'

  'Thank you, Andonys.'

  For some reason Jill felt restless, and after a wash and a change of clothes, she decided to stroll over to her mother-in-law's. The old lady was lying down, Jill was told by a maid, and more restless than ever, Jill turned to retrace her steps and came face to face with the young man she had left only an hour and a half before.

  'Well,' he said breezily, 'we meet again!'

  'You've settled in your lodgings, then?'

  'Yes, and it's a super place-nice white villa and patios, the usual, and spotlessly clean. And those kids of Davos' are great! I'm delighted at getting myself fixed up so cosily!'

  'And now you're taking a look around, I suppose?' Jill's eyes darted to the camera slung over his shoulder.

  'That's right.' He hesitated a moment, his glance going to her hands, and to the ring she wore. 'You ... er ... wouldn't like to stroll along with me?'

  She began to shake her head, then changed her mind, welcoming the change of company. 'Yes, I'll walk with you.' She smiled. 'There isn't a lot to see on Corina. It's much like any other Greek island.'

  'With nice beaches, palm trees, some archaeological sites and charming people.'

  She gave a little laugh. 'You've had plenty of experience, so you should know.' They had fallen into step and were merely strolling along, not making for any specific place.

  'My name's Gilbert,' he offered. 'Gilbert Dawson.'

  'Mine's Jill Doxaros.'

  'Doxaros!' He turned to stare at her profile. 'Your husband's Greek?'

  'Yes,' she answered briefly.

  'Have you been married long? I hope you don't mind my asking-but you look so very young.'

  'Thanks.' She laughed. 'I'm older than I look. I've been married for three months.'

  'You like it here?'

  'I love it. I worked in Athens before. It's hot and sticky and overcrowded at this time of year.'

  'Indeed yes! Now's the time to get away. It's good to be there in the spring, though, isn't it?'

  'I loved the spring best, but the autumn's very pleasant too.' He told her he was a schoolteacher in Birmingham but was a native of Kent. She learned that he had two sisters and one brother, that his father was in the merchant navy and his mother ran a small knitwear shop in the city. 'Kirstie, my elder sister, is doing very well at university. Phil, the other one, is a bit of a tomboy and has never attended to her lessons, so she'll be leaving school next year, when she's sixteen.'

  'And your brother?'

  'He's the eldest. Married and lives a couple of miles from us. He works in an insurance office.'

  'I've only a sister-three years younger than I,' she told him when it came her turn to pass on information about herself. She was free and easy with him, not in the least awkward or feeling she must be reserved. 'She's going out with a young man-at least, I think she is. It might all be off —I don't know.' Half an hour later it was time for them to go their different ways, Jill having said that her lunch would be ready. Gilbert seemed disconsolate and Jill sent him a perceptive glance, recalling that when she had first contemplated marriage to Adam it had been in her mind that she might meet a young man and fall in love with him. But now ... She had been foolish enough to fall in love with her husband, a man who intended marrying another girl in order to bring about the business merger he so badly wanted. There was no possible chance of his ever changing his mind and making the marriage permanent, simply because love had obviously never entered into his scheme of things.

  A sigh escaped her, but she was finding that her mind was quite made up about the futility of unrequitted love. The sensible thing was to fight it before it became too strong for her. She thought about Adam's assertion that they would go their own ways, that he would never interfere in her activities so long as his mother did not suffer. He had not pursued the matter of a normal relationship, and she now believed he was intending to keep to the bargain he had made. That he would have pillow friends was to be expected, and the idea hurt abominably, but she was resigned, simply because she was forced to keep to her side of the bargain as well. She had realised, too, that in spite of her denial her life was in fact becoming boring lately, and she had even begun to ask herself just how long this boredom was likely to continue. She was exceedingly fond of her mother-in-law and wanted her to live for many years yet, but Jill felt that to go on like this for years and years would mean the waste of her own youth, and for the first time she was beginning to wonder what had possessed her to be swayed by that dear old lady's anxiety over her son.

  Another sigh escaped her; it was not meant to be heard by her companion, and she was surprised to hear him say, a hint of anxiety in his voice, 'Is something wrong, Jill?'

  'No-nothing. ...'

  'That wasn't very positive,' he observed, his shrewd eyes noting the shadows in hers.

  'I suppose,' she said, fully aware of what she was doing, 'that I'm fed up with my own company.'

  'Fed up—' He stopped in his tracks to stare down into her face. 'That's a strange thing to say when you're still a new bride —'

  'My husband's time is occupied with his business. He's in Athens at present and won't be back until the weekend, or even later than that.'

  A long pause ensued, and when Gilbert did eventually break the silence, his tone and words were hesitant. 'I'd ... er ... like to have dinner with you, Jill-that is, I mean, if you're lonely-because I'll be on my own, and it's no fun ... although don't think I'm not used to it. If I choose to come on these island-hopping holidays, then it's what I must expect.' He paused, but Jill did not speak. 'I do sometimes manage to get an amiable compa nion, though, and so if you...?' His words ended on an unspoken question and Jill's hesitation was brief, for there was no ha
rm, none at all. Adam had his fiancee and his pillow friends. It was all very amicable and free-their attitude toward each other.

  'I'd love to have dinner with you,' she said, smiling, but went on to add that she must pay for herself. He began to protest, at which Jill pointed out quite reasonably that not only was she a stranger to him but also she had plenty of money as well. They went to a restaurant where they ate souvlaki and drank a local wine while watching four dancers and listening to the bouzouki music being played by six musicians at the far end of the restaurant.

  The dancers, all youths, darted and dived through the Zorba—like syrtaki , while afterward two older men danced the more solemn tsamiko . Gilbert had seen the dances many times before, but, he said, he was always intrigued by the agility of the Greek men.

  'Shall we dance now?' Gilbert looked at Jill and smiled. The Greek dancers had finished their performance, and a slow foxtrot was now being played.

  'Yes.' She slipped into his arms, but her thoughts strayed to her husband, and she wondered what he was doing at this time-whether he was dining and dancing with Julia or with some other woman.

  'It's hot in here,' Gilbert was saying some time later, and so they went outside for a stroll along the palm-fringed, moonlit shore. Time sped on, and it was after midnight when at last they were on their way to the villa in a taxi. 'Thank you, Jill, for a wonderful evening.' There was an odd inflection in Gilbert's voice as he stood by the wrought-iron gate of the villa and said good night. 'Ca n we do it again, do you think?'

  'Of course, Gilbert.' She was affected by his charm of manner, the spontaneity of his smile. 'I, too, have had a wonderful evening.' She smiled her good night and hurried along the drive. She felt happy because she wanted to see him again, and surely that was a good thing?

  Sunday arrived, and still Adam had not returned. Jill dutifully visited her mother-in-law, but for the most part she had been with Gilbert every day; they explored the beaches, lunched at several different cafeneions and tavernas, dined and danced and reached the point where Jill decided to tell him the reason for her marriage and that it was to end as soon as her mother-in-law died. Naturally he was amazed at the story but obviously happy at the thought that his friendship with Jill need not end when he left the island.