You always come back to me in the end. You don’t have anyone else.
Then again, maybe he did know what he would do. He just didn’t want to think about it.
As he reached the landing at the top of the stairs, his gaze went to Brady’s door. Jeremy didn’t know what happened between Brady and Trina on Wednesday morning, while he was in the shower, but it hadn’t been good. Brady had gone back into hiding afterwards and hadn’t been seen since. Meanwhile, Trina had attacked the emails she’d received from the dating website like a mad woman. Tonight’s date had been the outcome of that particular frenzy.
Personally, he thought they’d both be a lot happier if they admitted they were falling for each other, but what the hell did he know about healthy relationships? The only thing he knew for sure was that being alone sucked. And right now, Brady was as alone as any man could get.
Stepping up to Brady’s door, he knocked before he had a chance to second-guess himself.
The door opened a few moments later and Jeremy sucked in a breath. Brady was a hot freaking mess. He looked like he hadn’t shaved, or even combed his hair, in the two days since Jeremy had last seen him. His chest was bare, along with his feet, and he had one hand shoved into the pocket of his low-slung jeans. Jeremy swallowed. How the hell did the man manage to make dishevelment look so damn lickable?
Brady leaned against the door jamb as his eyes did a slow sweep of Jeremy’s form. Starting at his thick black eyeliner, they travelled down past the suspenders, all the way to his heavy boots, before retracing the path back to his face. A faint smirk accompanied the single lifted eyebrow. “What’s with the outfit?” His voice was gravelly in a way that made Jeremy wonder how long it had been since he’d spoken out loud. “You look like an extra from A Clockwork Orange.”
Jeremy was impressed. “You saw that movie?”
A non-committal sound rumbled in Brady’s chest. “The book was better.”
Grinning, he nodded. “The book always is.”
“What can I do for you?” Brady asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jeremy hadn’t really gotten that far in his thinking before his knuckles were already rapping on the door. There was no way he could tell Brady he was there to save him from his solitude. That would go over like a ton of bricks. “I guess, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out with me tonight.” He waited a few seconds, but Brady didn’t respond, so he tried again. “Trina’s out on a date so I’m home alone and that’s…” Dangerous. “…boring.”
Brady’s face had gone blank, but the tick in his jaw spoke volumes. “Trina’s on a date?”
Oh, shit. He probably should have kept that part to himself. “Yeah. Some guy she met on one of those dating websites.” Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing he’d told Brady about Trina’s date. The thought of competition might prompt Brady to get off his arse and doing something about it. “Anyway, we could order food, watch a movie or something.”
The ticking in Brady’s jaw worked overtime, his eyes fixed on something off to Jeremy’s right. “I’m flattered, but I don’t date men. I never have.”
Shock smacked Jeremy in the face so hard his mouth fell open. “Brady, man, I’m not going to hit on you. I just thought—”
“When are you ever not hitting on me?” Brady’s eyes locked with his as he spoke, and there was an animosity in him Jeremy hadn’t been expecting.
His fists clenched at his sides. Brady had said he didn’t mind being teased—had even laughed at times. “You’re an arsehole. You know that?”
“So I’ve been told.” Brady straightened, took a step back. “I don’t need this shit.”
The door started to swing closed, but Jeremy stuck one booted foot in the way. Pushing the portal wide, he strode past Brady into the living room. “What you need, mate, is to get out of this freaking isolation chamber. Your right to your precious solitude has officially expired.” He checked the time on his watch. “There’s still some daylight left. You and I are going for a run.”
“What?” Confusion went to war with the thunder of Brady’s frown—and won. “Why?”
“Because I’m a pacifist at heart, but right now I’m sorely tempted to knock some sense into you.”
“You could try,” Brady scoffed, raking his gaze down Jeremy’s length once more. It was less flattering this time. “I don’t think you’d get very far.”
In a single instant, every ounce of the anguish he’d felt at seeing Aaron again coalesced into an anger that turned Jeremy’s skin ice cold. “You think because I’m a skinny little faggot, I can’t beat the snot out of you? Think again.”
The thunder was back in Brady’s brow, and it had brought a few extra storm clouds. “What the hell, Jeremy?”
“Get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes.” He stalked out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.
Six and a half minutes later, Brady fell into step beside Jeremy, allowing the other man to set the pace. No more words had past between them, the tense silence broken only by the sound of their breathing and the rhythmic strike of soles against pavement.
“How far are we going?” Brady asked as they headed off.
“Far enough to blow off some steam.”
“And then?”
Jeremy glanced at him before returning his attention to the path. “Then we have a rational discussion about what an idiot you are.”
Brady rolled his eyes. “Can’t wait.”
Five kilometres later, Brady started to fall behind. “Slow the hell down, man,” he gasped, slowing to a walk. “You’re like a machine.” He hadn’t run in an age and now his lungs felt like they were on fire.
Jeremy stopped, his own breath barely elevated, as he waited for Brady to recover. “That’s what happens when you spend as much time on your lungs as you do on your biceps.”
“Ladies like the biceps.” Brady tried to lift his arms in a strongman flex, but he was too damn tired.
He expected Jeremy to make some witty crack, tease him about women not being the only ones, something like that. Instead, the other man pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked away. Brady frowned. He’d done that. Taken the natural humour of one of the most affable men he’d ever met, and made him feel like crap about it. Jeremy was right, he really was an arsehole.
They were at a local park now, walking along the wide footpath that circumnavigated the expanse of lawn. “I’m sorry about what I said before,” Brady said as his heart rate slowed to something below heart attack levels. “I didn’t mean it.”
“It’s okay.” There was a moment’s silence before Jeremy added, “I can get a bit carried away.”
“Well, if I have to choose between your flirting and the psycho bullshit you were channelling earlier, I’ll take the flirting any day.” He saw Jeremy grin and the tightness in his stomach started to ease. “So, what are we doing out here?”
Jeremy’s mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he was getting a taste of his words before spitting them out. “I needed to get you out of your apartment and into the sunlight,” he said, finally. Brady gave him a questioning look and he added, “I thought you might be a vampire.”
Brady barked out a laugh, holding his arms out straight in front of him. The late afternoon sun made his skin glow white. Okay, he was probably a little paler than he used to be. “No signs of immolation. I think you’re safe.”
“Seriously though, man.” Jeremy raked a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. For once, it stayed back. “I don’t know what the hell happened to break you, but I know it was bad.”
A weight settled in Brady’s stomach and his throat closed up. He didn’t want to talk about it.
“I’m not here to make you confess your secrets, or talk about your feelings, and I’m not going to try to braid your hair. But it’s time to stop hiding, Brady. The longer you stay cut off from the world, the harder it is to come back. And,” he paused, took a deep breath before he continued, “there are
people here who need you.”
Brady didn’t think anyone needed him anymore. The second he’d proved less than adequate, he’d been tossed aside by the people who were supposed to love him the most. But then, he didn’t think Jeremy was referring to those people. He frowned, glancing sideways at the other man. What the hell could someone like Jeremy, who was so full of life and vitality, possibly need from someone like him? “You sound like you speak from experience,” he said, curiosity winning out.
“You could say that,” he said with a shrug. “I had this boyfriend, Aaron. You could say he was the jealous type. He didn’t like it when I spent time with anyone other than him and I wanted to make him happy so… I gave into him, allowed my world to shrink a little bit at a time. One day, I realised I had no one left in my life but him.”
Brady stopped walking. Waited until Jeremy looked back at him. “Did he hurt you?”
A frown of confusion was followed by understanding, and Jeremy shook his head. “Not physically, no.” Brady started to breathe again. “He just,” Jeremy continued, struggling to find the words, “he fucking owned me. There were times I felt like I couldn’t breathe without him, and that was exactly the way he liked it.” He paused at a water fountain to have a drink and wash the sweat from his face. Brady did the same. They were nearly back at the entrance to the park before Jeremy spoke again. “Rebuilding a life from nothing, it’s hard. Having people around who care about you makes it easier, but you have to let them in.”
Brady took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I know where to begin. The few social skills I did possess are on the rusty side.”
“No kidding.” Jeremy turned to walk backward in front of him. “You can always practice on me.” He winked and Brady laughed out loud, glad to see the return of Jeremy’s teasing.
“Can I practice anything else on you?” he said with a leer.
Jeremy’s eyes widened comically. “Oh, now who’s flirting?” He turned back around, hooking an arm over Brady’s shoulders as they walked back out the entrance of the park. “Brady, man, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
After a brief pause, Brady pointed a finger at him. “Casablanca?”
Jeremy gave him a solemn nod. “Well done. There might be hope for you yet.”
Chapter 16
Trina stared at the picture on her laptop screen with a critical eye. She liked the image, but the font still wasn’t right. It needed to be more angular. She tried a couple more, playing with the various options, before she hit on a winner. A smile spread across her face as she surveyed the result. There was still a long way to go, but she knew this was going to be a cover image she could be proud of.
Over a week had past since Brady had suggested she try her hand at designing a cover for his editing client. The idea had appealed, but she’d been so focused on her love life she hadn’t done anything about it. Meeting Alec this afternoon had changed that. While she would never applaud his total lack of tact, or his overinflated ego, some of what he said had got her thinking. If she wanted her working life to change, it was time for her to do something about it. No more waiting for instinct to step in and be her guide.
Her date had lasted for as long as it took her to finish her glass of wine without sculling. She’d said goodbye to Alec, who’d seemed equally happy to see her leave, and headed home. She obviously had not met his standards for a potential partner, and he’d fallen a wee bit short of her standards for, well, basic human decency. All in all, her first foray into the world of online dating had been something of a disappointment. She could even say Alec had not ‘popped her cherry’ in a satisfactory manner. A shudder ran through her at the phrasing and she hoped it would fade from her lexicon with as much speed as Alec would be dismissed from her mind.
Still, after a long, hot shower and a strong cup of tea, she’d sat down on her bed with her laptop and set to work. Her job at the advertising agency had taught her enough to know where to start. Past that, she’d been figuring it out as she went and enjoying the challenge along the way. She hoped Brady was serious about passing her work onto his client. If nothing else, she would like to get some feedback on how she’d done.
There was a knock on her open door and she looked up to see Jeremy standing in the doorway. She’d noticed his work bag on the dining table when she’d arrived home, but he was nowhere to be found. That usually meant he’d gone for a run, which he did several times a week, so she hadn’t thought much of it. “Hey,” she said, taking in the running clothes and sheen of perspiration that proved her assumption correct. “How was your run?”
A grin appeared on his face as he nodded. “Productive.” She made a face at his odd response, but he spoke again before she could question it. “How was your date?”
“Ugh.” She rolled her eyes. “Terrible.”
“Really?” He sounded way too happy about her failure. Then he gave a laugh. “You should have seen Brady’s face when I told him where you were.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You told him?”
“Sure, why not?” Trina wasn’t fooled by his dismissive shrug. The gleam of mischief was bright in those green eyes.
Pretending to be distracted by something on her screen, she asked, “How did he look?”
“Like he wanted to spank you for daring to go anywhere near another man.”
She snorted. “You’re another man. I did a lot more than go near you.”
This time it was Jeremy who rolled his eyes. “That’s different.”
“Why?”
The chuckle he gave was positively evil. “Because there’s a part of Brady that wants to spank me, too.” Turning to leave, he added, “Speaking of Mr Yummy, I’m going to jump in the shower and then we’re going to his place for dinner.”
“We are?” Her eyes widened as she sat up straighter.
“Yep, he invited us.”
The last part was thrown over his shoulder as he walked away and Trina clambered off the bed in her hurry to follow him. “He can’t have invited me. Neither of you knew I’d be here.” After the way their last conversation ended, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t want anything to do with her.
“Trust me. Brady wants you to come.” He smirked, amused by the double meaning of his own words, right before he closed the bathroom door in her face.
Trina rushed back to her room to change out of the pyjamas she’d thrown on after her own shower. Twenty minutes later wore a pretty floral dress and some strappy sandals. The light covering of makeup on her face had been finished with luscious pink lip gloss and her hair was freshly styled. Not that any of it was necessary, of course. This wasn’t a date and Brady was still a no-go zone, but once she’d started she couldn’t seem to stop until she had every beautifying element in place.
She’d just come out of her room when Jeremy emerged from the shower, all wet and glistening as he walked to his bedroom in nothing but a towel. She kept her eyes averted as memories of her last dinner with Jeremy and Brady flooded her brain. It was only a few nights ago, but somehow the whole event had managed to take on a surreal quality. Parts of it had even acquired a soundtrack in her head. But this was not going to be a repeat of that night. She had her priorities straight, all she had to do was remember them when temptation threatened. And not make out with any cutlery in front of them. That would help too.
“You ready?” Jeremy asked as he came out of his room a few minutes later. “Wow, you look nice.”
“Thank you.” She did not preen at his words as they walked out the door—at least, not too much.
Brady opened on the first knock. He stared at her in surprise for a moment before smiling. “Hey, I thought you… ah… had plans tonight.”
“My plans fell through,” she said, enjoying the way he avoided using the word date. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing your evening.”
“Of course not.” Seeming to remember they were still standing in his doorway, he stepped back to let them into the apartm
ent. “I ordered enough food to feed a small army, so there’ll be plenty to go around.”
She took in Brady’s appearance as she walked past him. His wet hair was combed back from his freshly shaved face and his t-shirt showed a few wet spots from where he’d obviously rushed to dry himself. She turned to Jeremy with narrowed eyes. “I take it you had company on your run?”
“Yeah.” The grin on Jeremy’s face made her wonder how many kinds of exercise he’d gotten in the past hour. “We ran. We bonded. Then, we practised our flirting. Isn’t that right, Brady?”
She looked back at Brady, who stood there with his mouth open. She watched in fascination as a flush crept up his neck. Dear lord, he was blushing.
Jeremy put his hands on her shoulders from behind and leaned down to murmur in her ear. “He’s so cute when he’s speechless.” He buzzed her cheek before making his way into the living room.
She and Brady stared at each other in silence for a long moment. Then, there was a deep sigh of appreciation. “I do love a man who reads science fiction.”
They both turned to see Jeremy with his head tilted to one side as he perused Brady’s books, which were neatly stacked into enormous bookcases lining one wall of the living room. Now the piles were no longer choking every corner of the room, the placed seemed more liveable. There was a comfortable couch with a coffee table in front of a flat screen television. He even had a couple of plush rugs and some throw cushions. Brady would never be the neatest person she knew, but the room had a cosy feeling now. She liked it.
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