That was what made the morning so painful. She’d let herself have a night with Hunter. Let herself feel again. The glimmer of possibility that sparked to life when he kissed her flared into full daydreams of what-could-be.
“I just wish I knew where he was.”
“Don’t like being apart from him? Is it eating you up inside? Your little beastie trying to get out and track him down?” Tansey sighed happily. “Yeah, I know what that’s like.”
Joss plopped down into a stool at the island counter. “It’s exactly like that. I don’t know how to pair that with wanting to feel things out first. Then there are all the messy parts that I don’t know how to explain. When does one disclose their ex-husband is being a crackpot creep with regrets to the guy your inner animal wants to treat like a well-loved chew toy? Before or after he has a weird freak out himself and disappears on four feet?”
The words poured out of her. For a second, she stared into open air in surprise.
Getting it all out in the open felt good. She’d kept herself bottled up for too long. That ended in disaster and she wanted to avoid a repeat of sticking her head in the sand and pretending life was peachy.
Tansey patted her hand. “I wouldn’t worry about him. A breakfast without someone storming off makes me pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming. He’ll be back once he calms down, I’m sure.”
That was true enough. The clan kept themselves respectable in front of outsiders, but they slung insults and punches as soon as watching eyes turned the other way.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am. When a man looks at you like that, there’s no keeping him away. Give him your side of things, and I’m sure he’ll understand.” She leaned forward. “So...? What did you end up doing?”
Joss huffed a laugh. A thin thread of relief wedged through her worry. “We didn’t stay much longer after you left. We went back to his place, but then he grabbed a blanket and a bottle of booze and we went out to watch the stars. After a while, we shifted and went for a run.”
Monumental, that. She couldn’t ever remember a time, aside from the initial curiosity, that Cal wanted to see or acknowledge her inner animal. Hunter did nothing but encourage her to get in tune with her other side. And, she had to admit, running through the night after they’d had sex was better than a cigarette.
“And did you...?”
Joss covered her cheeks to hide her blush. “A girl never kisses and tells.”
“You did!” Tansey squealed. “Holy shit, that’s awesome! Get back on that horse, girl. Or, cowboy, in this instance.”
“Tansey!” Joss hissed, scandalized.
The door behind her opened and her badger jumped into action with hisses and clawing up her insides. The urge to shift took her by surprise. She dug her fingers into her palms to hold on to her control.
Tansey lifted her chin to the newcomer. “Can I help you, sir?”
Joss turned, expecting to find one of the guests. She froze when the man behind her turned out to be Cal.
Her badger’s bristled reaction made sense. Hurt and anger piled over top one another for the most terrible layered cake in the history of ever.
“I didn’t believe Tony when he said it, but here you are.”
He strode forward and wrapped her into a hard hug that dragged her out of her chair and cracked her back.
Joss stiffened with shock. Her brain shutdown and rebooted ten times over while she processed who had appeared and held her.
The cryptic texts made more sense with him standing in the kitchen. He spoke of forgiveness and seeing her? Yeah, those were the words of a man about to ambush his ex and carpet bomb her rejections with his own wants and needs.
Joss shoved at his stupid, inconsiderate chest and pulled away just as a disgusted scoff reached her ears.
No. No, no, no. Everything was going wrong and it was awful and she hated everything!
Over Cal’s shoulder, Hunter slid a golden-eyed look from Cal, to her. His lip raised in a silent snarl and he stomped out the door. The wood bounced against the frame from the force of his slam.
Cal flashed big eyes better suited on a sad puppy. He looked… pathetic. He’d kept his looks even as his hair started to thin. He wasn’t anywhere near as brawny and fit as the shifters on the ranch, but he wasn’t chubby, either.
His physical appearance wasn’t what made him seem so small in her eyes, though. It was showing up with pouting lips and a bouquet of roses. He proved yet again how much he actually listened to her. She’d told him to leave her alone, and ignored him when he didn’t stop.
And the roses?
She was a wildflower sort of girl.
He didn’t hear her. He didn’t see her. She was done fitting into the box he’d built around her.
“What the fuck, Cal? Really?” The curse tasted good on her tongue. The word was the least he deserved. Right then, she wanted to bite his stupid, non-comic-strip-reading face off. “You need to leave. You never should have come.”
Cal blinked at her and shook his head like he couldn’t believe the words. “Wh-what?” he spluttered. Red crept up his neck. “You weren’t answering my calls—”
“Maybe there was a reason for that. Like, I don’t know, being blindsided by a divorce?” Her badger hissed and Joss didn’t quiet the noise in the slightest. Embarrassment and shame roiled in her stomach. The effing nerve! He’d burnt their life to the ground, then expected her to be sunshine and rainbows when he wanted back in? “Go back to your cold bed of money and leave me alone.”
Joss pushed him out of her way. He’d shoved her out when she didn’t fit with him anymore, so she gave him the same treatment.
Joss didn’t stop when he called her name. Maybe Tansey pulled him back, or she’d stunned him into staying firmly planted to the floor. He wasn’t her concern.
The man who’d disappeared from the yard held her entire attention.
Her inner animal scrabbled to be acknowledged. Joss listened, and let the beast push forward. A wealth of scents assaulted her nose, including the one she’d become intimately familiar with overnight.
She followed Hunter’s trail into the barn. She worried briefly that she’d been wrong when she didn’t catch sight of him. Then he appeared at the other end, stalking out of the tack room with a saddle in his hands.
He scowled when he spotted her. A muscle jumped along his jaw. “Get out of here, Joss,” he said in a resigned voice.
She marched up to him and raised her hands to stop him from bowling her over. Heck no, she wasn’t allowing Cal to ruin the bit of good she’d found. “We need to talk.”
“We don’t need to do anything. You need to get back to your life. Your pit stop here is done, isn’t it?” He stepped around her and dipped into a stall.
Frustration spilled over into an annoyed growl. If he didn’t listen to her, she’d shift and let him deal with her badger! Joss slammed the stall door closed, slid the lock in place, and pressed her back to the wood for good measure.
“You’re going to listen to me, Hunter Shaw!” Oh boy, she didn’t know where the sass was coming from, but she rode the wave. “I’ve been pushed aside and hurt and made to feel invisible and wrong for being born with my ‘nasty little badger.’ Enough! You don’t get to do that, too.”
Hunter sighed. “You know I can get out anytime I want, right? There’s another door in here.”
“Will you listen to me? Please?”
He paused long enough that she peeked over the door to make sure he was still there. One hand on his hip, the other holding Trooper’s halter, he stared at the ceiling.
“Make it quick,” he said gruffly.
“I didn’t invite him here. I didn’t tell him to come. I don’t want to go back. That bridge burned the moment he ended it. Was I sad? Did I want a different future? Yes.” Joss shrugged. “What person wouldn’t, if they found themselves losing their partner without warning? But when he made it clear that he wasn’t going to fight for me, that�
�s when I resigned myself to picking our lives apart and going different ways. For the record, I cursed at him and told him to leave. Tansey is probably picking her teeth with his bones as we speak, and I can’t find it in me to care.”
Hunter grunted.
“I don’t know where this is going yet, but I want to find out. You already know what’s in my past. You know I need time. Coming here was the closest to jumping feet first into anything I’ve ever done. Then with everything else… I don’t know what my instincts are telling me half the time, and the other half seems so far out of my level of normal that I question myself.”
Right then, they were telling her to keep talking. She needed to spill her purse out on the couch and let him see the contents.
He turned, finally, and stepped closer to the stall door. His scent softened right along with the hard lines of his face. Brown eyes watched her closely.
She wasn’t looking for someone like him when she found her way to Bearden. She wasn’t looking for anyone. But she’d found him anyways. She’d misplaced her loyalty before, and suffered for it. She didn’t want to go another round. Better he know that from the start.
Joss gripped the edge of the stall and poked at another piece of herself. “I need to know you’re choosing me as much as I’m picking you. That’s just how it has to be because I’ve been through otherwise and I don’t want to have my heart stomped on again. I’m not running off. That’s not me. You need to know that before this goes any further. I don’t do casual.”
Hunter reached over the door and undid the lock without breaking their look. Her heart pounded in her chest when he closed it firmly behind him.
She let go of a ragged breath when he pulled her into his arms. His scent washed over her and soothed the roughness of the morning. She wanted to stick to his side and never leave.
Both hugs of her morning were so different. One pushed her off balance and felt awkward in its insistence she conform. The other held her close and didn’t drag her into position. She lined up with him perfectly and he held her just where she needed.
“I don’t do casual, either. I’m all in, Joss. That’s just how I do things. I follow my gut and my gut says to trust you.” He tucked her hair over her ears. “I see you.”
He’d said the words the night before. The daylight didn’t make her shiver any less. They were big.
He leaned close, palms lightly pressing against her cheeks to tilt her head toward him. As if there were any question.
Hunter sipped at her lips with tenderness and caring. Even when he deepened the kiss, tongue stroking into her mouth rhythmically and punctuated by sexy growls, she felt like her heart had cracked open.
He eased back with a final, slow sip that left her reeling. She didn’t know if she’d ever get tired of how he made her pulse race. She doubted that was even a possibility.
“I pick you,” he said.
Joss was glad he still had her wrapped up in his arms. Her knees buckled with her swoon.
Chapter 15
Hunter filed in through the doors of The Roost with most of the clan and the male guests. The main house was strictly off limits for anyone with parts that dangled until well past any decent hour. Joss and Tansey even went so far as to post signs proclaiming NO BOYS ALLOWED on the doors to keep them from interfering with whatever bachelorette shenanigans they’d cooked up.
Which left the Black Claw clan in charge of showing the groom and all his men a rowdy time. They debated on going the scared-straight route and taking them to the dive frequented by the ranchers living on the edges of the enclave, and decided against it. The Roost was more human speed, though Hunter would have given his left pinky toe to see the looks on their faces after taking a single step inside Defiant Dog.
“Everyone, find yourselves a pool table or dart board. First round is on us,” Ethan announced to the group and received big grins and appreciative claps on the back in return.
“First round, huh?” Jesse muttered.
“Least we could do after Tansey charged them an emergency booking fee for all this nonsense. She’s about bled them dry.” Pride rolled of his alpha. Ethan excused himself and made his way to the bar to place an order.
One of the guests, Tony, spotted someone in the crowd and peeled away from the main group. Hunter tracked him squeezing through the press and growled when he sighted Joss’s ex lurking in a corner. He’d disappeared by the time he and Joss left the barn. Where the man had found a place to sleep wasn’t Hunter’s concern. Staying away from Joss was the only thing that mattered. From the looks that ranged from sulking to downright murderous, he wasn’t sure that would be the case.
He didn’t want to be caught up in another Andre situation, but dammit, he wasn’t going to let his mate go without a fight. At least this time it wasn’t simple jealousy boiling his blood. His bear had stood up and taken notice of one very unique woman that made every other person in the world fade into the background. He wanted to be the man she deserved.
Still lost in his thoughts, he helped Ethan pass out the pints and bottles and shot glasses to the group. He even kept his shit together when Cal nudged in with Tony next to the groom like a leech.
“To getting so sloshed tonight that you can’t feel the cold feet in the morning!” Ethan toasted.
Christopher cracked a smile and downed his shot. “We have a few more mornings to go.”
“Ah, dammit. We have to put up with you longer?” Ethan joked, then nodded. He poured another round from the bottle of whiskey and raised his glass with more serious eyes. “I wish you all the happiness in the world. There’s nothing like waking up to bad morning breath and knowing that’s yours for life. Congrats, man.”
Across the group, Cal shot Hunter a dirty look.
Hunter turned away and followed Lorne and Alex to a table while the others scattered to their drinks and chosen activities.
Cal was up to some shit. There was no reason for him to stick around in Bearden.
He had to trust Joss. She’d spoken the truth, as she saw it. The pieces fit with all the other truths he’d uncovered since they were flung together. She said she’d been blindsided by the divorce and had been happy otherwise, but he could see the cracks in her relationship from a thousand miles away.
Probably what everyone saw with him and Joyce, or him and every other girl that came before her.
Still, the dark thoughts ate at all her promises. He’d been cheated on before. It’d wrecked his life before. He’d stooped to low levels and run to save his skin.
His bear clawed up his insides. Joss was different, the beast seemed to say. He shoved enough sendings through Hunter’s mind to make the point clear. The visuals of her with a mate mark, her with a round belly, her with a cub in her arms and a kiss for his cheek, they all tugged at Hunter’s heart. He wanted that life to be true.
Joss was the one for him, and her big green eyes made him want to believe they wouldn’t end up like all his other mistakes.
Fingers snapped in front of his face. “Wake up, asshole.”
“The fuck?” he growled at Alex.
“He’s gone all gooey over a girl,” Lorne said, brief smile flashing at the tabletop.
“Truth speaker,” Alex said around the mouth of his bottle.
“I’m not all gooey.” Hunter rolled his shoulders against the accusation. “Just have other things on my mind.”
“Like the chef and what she’s going to serve you up next?” Jesse asked, eyes wide with innocence.
Hunter raised his middle fingers in answer.
“We’re not the only ones out tonight.” Lorne jerked his chin over Hunter’s shoulder.
He turned and rolled his eyes when he caught sight of Joyce pressing against one of the local cops. A different one than before, he noted. As she noticed him watching, she grabbed the man’s face and kissed him without breaking eye contact.
Hunter tipped his beer in her direction. Woman wanted to make him jealous? Sticking her tongue down the th
roat of the nearest man wouldn’t do the trick. His bear didn’t even acknowledge her. The beast was too engrossed with the thought of getting back to Joss.
“Anyone need another?” he asked the table and pushed to his feet. He didn’t want to talk about Joss or what he wanted to do to her with any of them. Certainly not where her ex could overhear, as much as he’d like to rub what the man had lost in his face.
He could be a gentleman sometimes.
Hunter made his way to the bar and raised a finger to summon Gideon, then drummed his fingers against the bar as the dragon took his sweet time serving everyone who’d lined up before him.
“James,” Joyce purred as she slid up to the bar next to him.
Hunter stiffened.
No one in Bearden knew that name.
He pasted on a smirk. His bear clawed at his insides. “You on the juice tonight, Joyce? Confusing me with someone else?”
“That’s not what I hear.” Oh, she smelled sly and full of secrets.
A stone sank to the pit of his stomach. He was clear. His old man said so. No bounty, no one looking. His crimes were so far in the past that no one but him cared anymore.
“Yeah? And who’s been filling your ears with lies?”
She dragged her finger along the rim of her glass, looking at him through her eyelashes. “I have my ways. Maybe I made a new friend who told me all manner of secrets about you. Wonder what your little girlfriend would think if she heard them.”
His bear roared fury at the threat. He’d run before when there was nothing to stand beside. His shameful actions drove him into hiding. Now, with a mate to cherish, the only option was to turn and fight.
Hunter rounded on her. Abandoning his spot at the bar, he grabbed her arm and dragged her through the crowd to the bathroom hallway. He closed his hand around her throat and pushed her into the wall while red anger clouded his eyes. “You think long and hard about what you plan to do with that name,” he snarled. “Because nothing, and I mean nothing, will make me hate you more than wrecking what I have going with Joss.”
Spurred Fate: Book Two: Black Claw Ranch Page 11