Rock Her Heart (A Bad Boy Rockstar Romance)

by Megan West

  “You think he fucking cares if you love me? You don’t think that’ll only boil the fucker’s blood even more?” His words were scathing.

  She knew he was seeing red, but she felt it was all so unfair. It wasn’t as if she could hop in a time machine to go back and never date Nick. None of her past could be erased and she didn’t want her future with Nathan to be in even more jeopardy than it already was.

  “God, Nathan. Is that all you care about? What he’ll think and how he’ll react? What about me?” There was a brief moment of silence filled with tension before she cried out, “I’m reaching my fucking breaking point, but that’s not something you take into account!”

  “What the hell, Emma? You know fighting is my life,” he shot back, but quickly clamped his mouth shut. In the heat of the argument it came off as if fighting came before his relationship with Emma.

  “Right,” she spat back, turning her back on him and starting to pace in an effort to calm down even a tiny bit. She turned just in time to see him open his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. “And my wanting to get the hell out of this shit lifestyle and go to California isn’t important at all to me.”

  They stared at each other in silence for what felt like hours.

  “That’s not it,” Nathan defended, finally breaking the silence. “You have to admit not telling me about you fucking Nick in the past was a shitty call on your behalf.”

  “Is that what really bothers you, Nathan? The fact that I’ve fucked him?”

  He slammed his closed fist on another locker door and it popped open with a dent. A few items from another fighter spilled out and clattered across the floor. “Don’t fucking play that card on me,” he warned. “He’s out here thinking he has the right to call you a whore and here I am, the fool who had no idea you two even knew each other.”

  “And do you think he has the right to call me a whore?”

  “Oh, come on, Emma! Don’t twist this into something else. You should’ve fucking told me he was your ex. You should be smart enough to figure out how this could affect me down here in The Ring, especially when you damn well know I want to be the best. You know this, fighting, it’s all I’ve got. It’s all I’ve known.”

  “And, to you, that’s a perfectly valid reason to just throw everything else out, right? That’s why you can’t quit or come with me to California. Because it’s all about the fight and it always will be. Never mind how much I love you and you love me. The love of that title you’re after, that’s stronger in the end.”

  “Don’t be so fucking unfair. You know it’s not like that.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Nathan.” Her voice had finally softened.

  She was no longer shouting or crying out, but her tears were flowing even more freely now. The words she hadn’t wanted to think, let alone utter out loud, were about to fall from her lips. Now was the moment. Everything she feared had reared its ugly head and there was no more avoiding it. She just wished it hadn’t been because of a stupid, insulting comment coming from Nick.

  “It doesn’t matter what the reasons if the end result is the same. I want out and you, well, you want to stay and make it to the top.” Nathan stared at her and she could see the realization enter his mind. His expression was still harsh, but there was something else there—a softer side. She could tell he had a nasty feeling what she was about to say and he didn’t want to hear it.

  “At this rate,” she said in a hoarse voice. She swallowed hard and licked her lips, which now felt dry. The spit that traveled down her throat felt like sandpaper and her pulse was thundering in her ears. Her body started to shake.

  “At this rate, Nathan, there is only one thing. There is only one way. We’re going to have to break up and go our separate ways.”

  Dead silence.

  The two of them stared at each other; each with their own thoughts. They looked into each other’s eyes and both of them knew what she had said was true. It didn’t matter how much either of them wanted it to be any different. After several minutes, Emma decided it was time to walk out. Nathan clearly had nothing left to say, at least not right at that moment and she had already said the only thing she wanted to hold inside and avoid for as long as possible. She turned on her heel and walked out of the locker room, feeling completely unsure about what was going to become of their relationship.

  As she walked out the locker room door to the main area, she had no clue if her relationship with Nathan was even still on. She knew he was just as confused as her. He didn’t try to stop her from leaving and he didn’t go after her. He hadn’t even responded.

  As she slowly made her way past the fighting ring and past the nice chairs and couches of the lounge area, which quite frankly seemed out of place in The Ring, she had no clue if she had actually just broken up with the man she loved or if they both needed some time to think.

  Whatever it was, it didn’t feel good.

  Chapter Four

  By the following night, Emma had still not heard anything from Nathan and she certainly wasn’t ready to reach out to him first. She was laying back on her couch, one leg draped over the armrest, wondering how she even wound up as a bet taker in the underground fighting ring when her phone rang. She ignored it at first.

  It had all started when she met Nick, but the way she wound up with him was still a fuzzy memory. For the first time ever she wished that had never happened because then she wouldn’t be sitting home alone wondering if she still had a boyfriend or not. She would have never met and fallen for Nathan and she certainly wouldn’t have been part of a lifestyle she now wanted to get out of more than anything else.

  It was with that thought that it dawned on her how unfair she had been with Nathan the previous night. She had thrown in his face that fighting was more important to him than she was, all the while she had feared the break up between them because she wanted to get out. She was already choosing her exit to California over her relationship with Nathan. She sat there thinking of what a hypocrite she had been and lamenting how insensitive some of her accusations were during the fight when her phone rang again.

  This time, something in her perked awake and she lurched forward in the hopes that it was Nathan calling her. When she saw Nick’s name flashing across her screen her heart sank. In an instant she had a deep feeling of disappointment mixed with anxiety all at once. She inhaled and felt light headed from the overwhelming feelings. Reaching out with a slightly trembling hand, she answered the call.

  “Hello,” she murmured into the phone. Nick was the last person she wanted to speak to, but she knew it wasn’t a good idea to ignore his call, especially not now that he knew she was with Nathan. Or maybe he just assumed she was screwing Nathan for fun. Either way, he knew there was something between them and she didn’t want the man she loved to pay the consequences of her having been mixed up with Nick.

  “Emma,” Nick’s voice came in, deep and sure as ever. “I’d say it’s a pleasure but we’d both know that’s a lie.” Emma cringed.

  He was even more of an asshole now than when she had dated him, something she had thought was quite impossible. “You need to come into the office,” he instructed.

  Although she assumed he was talking about his office, the fancy office that kept up the image of his thriving business, she wasn’t entirely sure. Either way, the tone he took with her left a bad taste in her mouth. It was as if he thought he had some sort of ownership over her. He knew she wasn’t in a position to anger him, much less defy him, and she hated it.

  “Now?”

  “Now,” he emphasized before promptly hanging up.

  Emma jerked her phone away from her face and looked at the screen with disgust. She couldn’t stand him, but she really thought she had no other choice but to go meet with him. She stood up and walked into her bedroom, opting for a lavender button down shirt and a pair of black jeans. Those were the first things her eyes fell on and she really had no interest in dressing to impress Nick.

  She swung
the leather strap of her purse over her shoulder and walked out the door to head down to the parking garage of the apartment building she lived in. She slid into the driver’s seat of her car and took a deep breath, head leaning back against the headrest. She had absolutely no clue what was to come of her meeting with Nick, but she was sure it was nothing good.

  Emma turned on her car and went down the familiar route to his office, trying to ignore the gross feeling that came over her at how well she knew the way to begin with. She didn’t want to think of the times and reasons she had gone to his office in the past. Once she was parked, she sent him a message to let her in. His office was in a penthouse of a big city skyscraper and, as such, she needed to be buzzed in to go up.

  It took nearly ten minutes for her to finally step into his office.

  “Shut the door,” he instructed without so much as a sideways glance toward her.

  She did as she was told and stood with her back against the door, hand firmly holding the handle. He lifted his hand and motioned with two fingers for her to sit across from him. She took a deep breath and walked over, trying to look as composed as possible. The truth was she was very worried about what he could possibly say, or even do.

  Nick continued writing on whatever paper he was scribbling on when she had first walked in, completely ignoring her presence. She found it dismissive, rude, and annoying. He was the one who had insisted she visit his office immediately.

  Tired of waiting, she cleared her throat and asked, “What did you need?”

  It was hard to keep her attitude to a minimum. Whatever it was he wanted, she didn’t want to risk angering him.

  She saw him smirk before finally setting down his pen, which easily looked like it could cost more than a month’s rent for her one-bedroom apartment. He tugged at the cuffs of his suit and straightened his tie before standing up and walking around the desk to lean against it in front of where she sat. Emma looked straight ahead, trying to ignore the scent of his expensive cologne or how close he was to her. It was an intimidation method and she knew it.

  “A very special guest is coming to your little boyfriend’s next fight,” he informed her. It was sickening the way the words ‘little boyfriend’ rolled off his tongue so patronizingly. “Or fuck buddy. Hookup. I don’t know what he is to you,” he added with a mocking chuckle. He was trying to get a rise out of her. It was working but, for the time being, she was managing to at least keep it all bottled up.

  Emma cleared her throat, but said nothing. She wasn’t about to dignify his insults with a response. He didn’t need or deserve any sort of clarification. It was enough she had to bite her tongue, especially for the sake of Nathan, but she wouldn’t give in to the extent of playing along to his gross little game.

  “I’m sure you remember Alex Moretti?”

  This time it was a question and she easily picked up on the fact he wanted an answer from her. She knew it didn’t really matter to him whether or not she knew who he was, he just wanted to know she was at his mercy. Whatever he demanded from her, he would get– at least until he reached the line she had mentally drawn up. She nodded. Of course Emma knew who Alex Moretti was. He was a rich Italian mobster who owned another fighting ring in Chicago. Although it was different than The Ring, that didn’t mean he was the unspoken rival of Nick.

  Nick leaned forward and sneered, “I asked you a question.”

  Emma looked up to make eye contact. It took everything not to jerk her head back upon finding how much he had actually leaned in. His gaze was dangerous; the sneer curling around his lips pronounced. But Emma held strong and responded with a simple, “Yes.”

  If she had to give in to him, it would be at least somewhat on her terms. If it were up to her, he would have no clue that her heart was racing out of fear and discomfort at that moment.

  “Well, he’s coming to watch your little boyfriend’s next big fight and I have a job for you.” He stood up and leaned forward, placing his hands on either armrest to trap her in the chair. Emma held her breath and looked into his eyes, icy expression in place like always. “I think even you should manage this, at least if you know what’s good for you.” His voice was low and a cold shiver ran down her spine. Every word dripped with a threat she didn’t even want to begin to comprehend.

  “What is it?” she asked, wishing her voice wasn’t at all shaky. But it was and it had given away how she was feeling inside, at least a little.

  She saw a little satisfaction flicker in his eyes at the sound of her wavering voice.

  “Alex Moretti’s bet needs to be on Nathan,” he warned her. It was unreasonable for him to expect her to make sure that happened, but she knew better than to argue or question it. He raised one of his hands up and placed his index finger under her chin. She cringed and backed away, causing him to chuckle. “Aw come on, you used to love that.” He leaned even more in her face, “Hun.”

  Emma stared him down, but knew the disgust and even fear in her eyes were obvious. She wanted to tell him to screw off, walk out of the office, and disappear but knew damn well that was as far from a viable option as anything could get.

  “Here’s the catch,” he muttered, “That little boyfriend of yours? Well, he better throw the fight. He goes down in the third. And it’s on you,” he pressed the tip of his index finger into her forehead, “to make sure that happens. Even you have to be good for that.”

  She saw his eyes flicker down to her breasts. She had tried to conceal every bit of cleavage, but with breasts as generous as hers and with him standing over her, it was impossible. Slowly, he ran his index finger down the side of her face, down her neck, until he was slightly pushing the top of her shirt open. She felt his finger right above her cleavage line, not touching her but close enough that she could still feel his heat. She gulped as Nick chuckled.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you can do that.” He flicked the shirt open a bit and dropped his gaze to her breasts, now a bit exposed.

  There was no way to hide her shaking body, trapped in the chair by his body. She wanted to scream. She wanted to slap him and run out, but she was frozen. It was as if she had been glued to the chair in fear. She hated to think how much further he would take this. If his goal had been to intimidate and belittle her, he had far surpassed it.

  Right at that moment he stepped back and motioned toward his office door for her to leave. There was no room for questions or complaints. She had received her instructions and she knew she had to make damn sure she completed the job or it meant more trouble than she could imagine for both herself and Nathan.

  She was starting to get in over her head. Never before had she wanted to leave so bad.

  Chapter Three

  Emma sat in her car for some time debating on what move to make next. She knew she had to warn Nathan, but wasn’t sure when or how. Their fight could be placed on the back burner for this. She grabbed her phone from her purse and called him.

  “Hello.”

  “Are you home?” she asked, getting straight to the point.

  She could tell that startled him, but he went with it anyway. “Yes,” he responded.

  “I’m heading over.”

  She ended the call and turned on her car, peeling out of the parking lot in the direction of Nathan’s apartment. She needed to tell him now and it had to be in person. This wasn’t a small thing and it was definitely not a conversation that could wait a second longer. As she drove, she hoped more than anything that he wouldn’t blame this on her. After their argument last night, she thought it was a very real possibility Nathan would think it was her fault that Nick planned this.

  She pulled into a guest parking spot and ran up the stairs to his apartment. Even though she had a key, she knocked on his door. Despite the urgency of the matter, the weirdness between them wasn’t gone and she didn’t feel at the liberty to just stick her key in the lock and walk into his place. Nathan opened the door, looking perplexed. He was wearing only pajama pants and his hair was messy. He was either al
ready in bed or lounging around on his couch. Had the matter not been so serious, she would have looked at his chiseled arms and six-pack abs in appreciation. Instead, she pushed past him into the apartment and turned to look at him. Once she made sure he had locked the door behind him, she opened her mouth.

  “I just came from Nick’s office.”

  It was only then that she noticed the expression on his face. It had already been there when he opened the door. He looked frustrated and worried at the same time. She had a sinking feeling that he already had some idea of what was going, something that was only confirmed when he finally spoke.

  “He talked to me,” Nathan told her.

  Emma starred at him silently, waiting for him to elaborate. He went on to tell her, with a lot of fury, the plan Nathan had proposed. Or, rather, instructed him to follow along with.